Axel-In-Charge: Extending "Secret Wars," Excitement for a "Totally Awesome Hulk"
IÂ was going to postÂ a nice rant,Â because my LJ friend posted something else in response to my comics quiz, but I just don’t have the energy.Â I won’t link to his posts, but if you go to Technorati and find the links to this blog, you’re sure to come across it.Â I don’t care if he likes my reviews or not, but I wish he hadn’t called me aÂ “snorting retard.”Â As a father of aÂ brain-damaged child, that kind of pisses me off.Â This is what I mean by not making it personal.Â Who cares if I don’t know what a Purple Death Ray is?Â Who cares if he does?Â Calling me a retard just nullifies anything else you might say.
But … we have answers to give!Â Â Remember, if you don’t know everything about every comic ever published, you can’t review comics!Â (Someone elseÂ took exception to me saying “they’re just comics” as if I don’t find them important, so why am I reviewing them?Â Well, that’s a good point, but if you think about it, very few things in this world are essential, and comics ain’t one of them.Â I love them, but they are “just comics.”)Â Let’s check out the answers!Â
1. Jade DeCamp is John’s psychiatrist/lover.Â For those of you who have never heard of Faust, you might consider yourself lucky.Â It’s a black-and-white epic of Satan-worship, gore, and porn.Â It’s actually very beautifully drawn, and completely wild.Â This is one of those comics I actually enjoy but can’t defend in the least.Â Russ knew this, by the way, which means he’s as disturbed as I am. I posted about an issue a while back, so if you’re interested, go here.
2. We first hear of the bad dwarf in Starman #8, when Jack visits the circus and finds Mikhail.Â He doesn’t even become a factor until, what, four years later?Â Robinson plotted that series so well.
3. Scorpio is 52.Â Wow, that’s old! Not to plug my own stuff, but read more about this excellent bunch o’ comics here.
4. Bernie Mireault drew the Riddler story.Â Brian Bolland indeed did the cover.Â I Heart BEM got this, which only stands to reason, given his name.Â Tim Callahan knew it too.
5. Slaymaster blinded Betsy, which led to Brian dropping a boulder on his head.Â Chris, Dizzy, and PolÂ knew this.Â Great freakin’ scene, by the way.Â Alan Davis rules.Â gabesummers, he of the run on sentences (and believe me, as an English teacher, it kills me to see them!), got the description right but called him Taskmaster.Â Close enough!
7. Moon Knight first appeared in Werewolf by Night #32.Â Guy knew this, of course, because he loves Moon Knight.Â Chris, James, Russ, Dizzy, and TimÂ got the title, but did not guess an issue number.Â Michael and JRÂ guessed an issue number, but missed it.
8. Doug Moench.Â JR said both Moench and Kelley Jones, and I’m not sure who would get the credit.Â Â Vesper first appeared during their mid-1990s run on Batman, so it could have been either, or both. If you’ll allow me to toot my own horn again, these comics are definitely ones you should own.
9. Uncanny X-Men #244, and the villains were the M Squad.Â gabesummers didn’t know the issue number or the name of the villains, but he gave a good description of the issue.Â James knew both.Â Russ and Dizzy knew the name of the bad guys.Â JR knew the issue number.Â Weirdly enough, this issue is worth around $15 just because it’s Jubilee’s first appearance.
10. Richard Madoc thinks about writingÂ aÂ sestina.Â Specifically, “a sestina about silence, using the key words ‘dark,’ ‘ragged,’ ‘never,’ ‘screaming,’ ‘fire,’ kiss,'”Â And yes, I had to look that part up.Â Sestinas are actually kind of hard to write, even though you wouldn’t think so.Â Matthew and Pol knew this.
11. Buddy is hired to stop the Angel Gang, although it turns out they aren’t the “real” villains.Â Kudos to Matthew for getting characters from the issues, but shame on him for forgetting the adorable Angel children!
12. Myndi Mayer was Diana’s publicist.Â Until she was killed.Â Not Angela Snow.Â Is there an Angela Snow?Â Michael and Pol knew this.
13. Hunter Rose adopted Stacy Palumbo. The charmingly named Smut Gremlin knew this.Â Michael guessed Christine Spar, who was Stacy’s daughter, as Smut Gremlin pointed out.Â He also referenced Diana Schutz’s story about Stacy and her therapist, so extra geek points for him!Â Dizzy knew her first name.
14. Daniel Dunbar, Dan the Dyna-Mite, Dynaman.Â Any of those is correct.Â Chris, Dizzy, and PolÂ knew this.Â Man, The Golden Age is excellent.
15. Julien SauniÃ¨re.Â Rex Mundi is one of my favorite books right now.Â Find out more about it here.
17. Pappy becomes a dentist’s assistant, which is perfect for him, because he has a hook hand.Â Scurvy Dogs, as many of us here at the blog have said repeatedly, is brilliantly funny.Â Buy it today!
18. His twin brother (it’s a fetus)Â lives inside him, at theÂ top of his spine, and is trying to take over his body.Â Very cool book.Â Buy it today!Â Pol has obviously read this, because he knew the answer.
19. Stan Carter.Â Jean DeWolffe was a victim, not the killer.Â James, Russ, andÂ DizzyÂ knew this.
Sorry for wasting everyone’s time like this.Â Tomorrow is new comics day, Larry Young sent me a graphic novel I have to read, and all will be right with the world.Â And I still won’t care about annoying DCÂ trivia!Â
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