CSBG Archive
Journey into Ads with… the Mighty Bill! #1
- by Bill Reed
- in General
- 13 Comments
Maybe it’s just me, but when I think back on my comics-reading years, I sometimes remember the ads better than I do the stories. Who didn’t want X-Ray specs or fake dog poop? This column, which may develop into a series, will take a look at comics advertisements throughout the ages, and analyze how cool or scary they were… and see if they serve their function and entice a purchase.
This group of ads appeared in Thor: Blood Oath #1, indicia-dated November, 2005. Yeah, we’re starting with a modern one. After all, think of the children! Will they grow up remembering the glory of advertisements during their innocent, halcyon days of comics-reading? Let’s hope not, if these are any indication of today’s ad quality…
Tally-ho!
Wow, this one’s a doozy. Um… There are so many things wrong with this image. First of all, there is not a single nerd who looks like this. Second, his nipples rival the awkward poofiness of Bat-Clooney’s. Yeah, this isn’t going to get me to buy their foul-smelling odor thingie. It will, however, cause me to be embarassed to be seen reading this comic when opened to this page. Funny enough, I remember some of the TV ad campaigns for this product… they lasted a few weeks and then it was never heard from again.
And were the reader to turn the page, they would find an ad for the movie “Into the Blue” with Paul Walker looking exactly like this guy, only with added Jessica Alba, which makes it palatable.
It was for things like this that the phrase “wtf” was invented. Honestly, I have no idea what a two-headed samurai made from gumdrops has to do with shoes, or why it is in battle with ninjas and octopi and space-samurais, all made from delicious confectionary. Or why God is providing a watering can for the occasion.
Still, it is technically awesome. But I never buy anything from Nike. Oh well.
Man, superhero merchandise has really gone downhill since I was a kid… Really, though, the only odd thing about this one is what Wolverine’s saying. I mean, everybody else is saying something that relate to them as a character… Spidey swings, Iron Man is… made of iron, etc. But Wolvie is stating “Long Ball Hitter.” Really… well, I don’t want to know what Logan does with people’s balls on his days off.
“Buy Skechers, and you will be whipped by a scantily-clad high-heeled dominatrix… in the arctic!” Yeah, right. I’ve worn several pairs of Skechers over the years, and this has never happened to me.
That’s all for this installment. Assuming you haven’t all committed seppuku after this one, I’ll see you in the funny pages… just not the ones with ads.
Remember, Comic Ads Should Be Good.
13 Comments
muldertp
August 3, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Ugh. I was hoping for olden-days ads, like the X-Ray glasses you mentioned… =(
You did forget that crappy 2-page car ad Marvel ran after the first page of every book for a month. I remember about that time there being an issue of Daredevil that had more pages of ads in it than comic also.
The Mutt
August 3, 2006 at 2:39 pm
The one that skeeves me out is the “Tobacco is Whacko if You’re a Teen” ad. It’s like the cigarette company said, “Okay, if you’re going make us run anti-smoking ads, we’re going to run the worst one we can come up with.”
Name me one teen that still says “Whacko.”
Name me one Teen that calls himself a “Teen.”
Name me one Teen who isn’t smart enough to see right through this.
And the sketch is horrid.
The Indestructible Man
August 3, 2006 at 3:37 pm
There’s no “S” in “Action”…
Bully
August 3, 2006 at 4:39 pm
But there is in “Snaction!”
Mmmm…snaction.
Ian Astheimer
August 3, 2006 at 4:48 pm
I misread Golf Club Head Cover Wolverine’s dialogue balloon as “Long Ball Hitler.”
Which sounds like something Desolation Jones might hunt down.
Brian Cronin
August 3, 2006 at 5:34 pm
Don’t worry, Bill.
I am a kind and generous dread lord, so I fixed the photos for ya.
Evan Waters
August 4, 2006 at 12:17 am
The “Bod” campaign (TV and print ads alike) baffles me. The only way I can make it work in my head is if it’s something women buy for their S.O.s. Because no straight guy is going to be sold anything by half-naked hardbodied guys, and the leering women in the ad would be counterproductive if you were aiming this at gay men.
Of course, if these ads are aimed at women- this probably wasn’t the best placement, was it?
FunkyGreenJerusalem
August 4, 2006 at 1:26 am
The guy in getting whipped doesn’t look like he enjoys it.
Now that’s cool, if that’s not his thing, that’s not his thing, but why is it in an ad?
Why show someone using the product have somthing bad (or at least what they consider bad) happen to them?
David C
August 4, 2006 at 10:39 am
“The one that skeeves me out is the “Tobacco is Whacko if You’re a Teen†ad.”
The thing that was really funny about that one is the cartoon depiction of the kid getting sick from tobacco? Extremely similar to the depiction in a contemporaneous ad showing a kid eating some candy product (IIRC, of the “red hot” variety), and intended to make a kid *want* said product.
Dwayne "the canoe guy"
August 4, 2006 at 11:18 am
Indestructible man: It’s not “There is no S in Action”, it’s “There’s no F in Way”.
I always wondered about how much the current ads suck so much more than the old ones. Today’s ads are huge corporations going after the geekbucks. The ads of yesteryear were mom/pop shops or companies trying to get kid’s $$$. I’m running a similar series every Thursday called “Pitchman-A-Go-Go”. I would take a tank for $4.98 over $25 golf club covers anyday!!!
Ben
August 4, 2006 at 8:08 pm
“two-headed samurai made from gumdrops”
man, they looked like stripper’s boobs with tassels.
JR
August 4, 2006 at 10:21 pm
I remember seeing a display for Bod that used the same shot at a local Meijer that was up for about a week before being removed. You would occassionaly hear rude commentary from others while walking by it and it apparently got a number of complaints to the management. It seems a bit socially hypocritical, but I guess to be expected.
And while the Nike ad doesn’t make me want to go out and buy shoes, I’d sure as hell buy that comic or watch that cartoon (or whatever that’s supposed to be)!
Rob Schamberger
August 8, 2006 at 1:28 pm
I’m going with Stripper Boobs as well.