Comic Book Resources

I’ve completely lost interest in Robert Kirkman, so even though I considered Ant-man, I didn’t get it. I used to like him, but around Walking Dead #24-25, I got completely turned off of him. I guess I might pick up Ant-man if I hear that it gets really enjoyable in a couple issues. Though I must say, that logo is great.

My favorite of the week was The Other Side. Very visceral and interesting. I can’t wait to see where it goes.

I must have missed something. What is all he bad press involving Kirkman?

garbonzo

OTKID the Omnipotent, from DOCTOR STRANGE: THE OATH is obviously a “shout out” to DITKO.

Although, WHY they just didn’t spell it OKTID, I dunno.

I can hardly wait to read it!

~P~
P-TOR

There’s a character named Blarney Cock? Does he tell people to kiss his stones?

I think if there’s one thing duller than reading autobio comics, it’s reading a column by someone who complains endlessly about the comics they bought.

I mean, you begin your column by stating that you’re worried about spending so much money on comics… that you may need an intervention… and then go on and on telling us how so many books don’t reach your level of sophisticato. Yawn… and you say I’M covering boring topics..?

THEN you brag to us about books you BOUGHT… but haven’t READ. Wow… a reviewer who decides not to review books… but wants to impress us by telling us he owns a copy of the book he won’t review. What’s next? Are you going to imagine books that haven’t been created yet, but it’s late and you won’t review those either? Maybe there’s some sort of blue pill you can take that can help you finish the job.

“yeeeeEEEEEEAAAAAAWWWWwwwwnnnn….” I’m sorry, were you talking to me? That’s what I thought when reading the reviews that lead up to this one.

I appreciate reviews when they’re constructive. I just think that this is a book given to someone who’s far outside the target audience. But before you bash a book so much, claiming it’s a book about nothing, consider what Seinfeld was to television. It was also a show about nothing and people enjoyed it because they could relate to it.

The problem I have with the internet is that any person out there can sit down and put on their “reviewer” cap and just type crap just to have their name on a website… thinking they can go to a convention and get free copies to “review” and impress the ladies with their thoughts on “Civil War.”

My favorite moment of a review like this is when the “reviewer” slams the work for no other reason than they can and then add that classic line that says “I don’t hate this book, in case you’re wondering.” Well, WHY would we have such a thought? Could it be where you state that you want to shove knitting needles into your eyes? How about where you rip on my art style or bitch about me whining? I know how you feel, after reading halfway through this column. But I had to use a pair of butterknifes… because those knitting needles didn’t have enough OOOMPH to do the job right.

And you’re right. I created this series as a way to get Greg Burgas to go off on me. That was the centerpiece of the entire series. So that Greg could pick up my work, even though it feeds some sort of comic book addiction that could lead to therapy, sit down in his “office” (a table with PC and a lamp) put on his “PRESS” hat and do nothing but say some crappy shit about my work.

Any fat slob out there can pretend to be a part of the comic press. Any dude resembling COMIC BOOK GUY from the Simpsons can go online and write endlessly about posting personal attacks disguised as “reviews.” It’s beyond fucking easy… as this column is proof.

But the people who really do the job, the ones who can be constructive and honest… those are the reviewers we in the industry follow.

I… I… I don’t think I can continue TSSTG knowing there are revie— I mean, internet ramblers out there who suffer because I write about making a tuna fish casserole. You know what I COULD do… I COULD just write and draw 18 pages of the book… and then tell my readers “I was too tired to finish the remaining six pages, so I’ll just… well… fuck it, I’m too tired.”

Yesssh. Dude… do me a favor. Create a book.. or better yet, pitch me an idea for one. Give me all the knowledge you have about making great comics and send me that pitch. But also include those knitting needles. Because when you get this pitch back, I want you to take the needles I’m mailing back to you and I want you to notice that the blood level will be a good two inches higher than the one you left on it.

It’s official. CBR will hire anybody.

Tom Beland
Making Comics More Boring With Every Issue

Dude.

I’ve seen Seinfeld.

I’ve read TSSTG.

It’s a decent book, but you aren’t Seinfeld.

And just because someone doesn’t like your writing, that doesn’t mean that they think they can do it better.

Vert

PS -

“I think if there’s one thing duller than reading autobio comics, it’s reading a column by someone who complains endlessly about the comics they bought.”

But you DID read it. It cost you nothing, yet you complained. But Greg PAID his own money for his books. He’s entitled to tell us what he thinks.

And it wasn’t “endlessly”. It ended.

Oh dear. I probably shouldn’t do this, but what the hell:

Gee, I said Tom Beland was a nice guy, but he’s kind of acting like a dick. I may have to revise my opinion.

Things I love:
I love when creators stop by the blog and leave comments. It’s kind of cool that anything any of us writes gets noticed by anyone, and I appreciate it when people who write (which I doubt I can do) and draw (which I know I can’t do) comics stop by and say hello. Thanks, Mr. Beland, for stopping by. I’m sorry it wasn’t more enjoyable!

I love when people who take offense at a review because they claim it’s not constructive and just mean and then turn around and insult the reviewer. I have looked at my review, and I don’t see anything that attacks you personally. But you go ahead. That’s classy.

I love addressing specific points of the complaint. So I will, because, as you well know, I love to “hear” myself “talk” (that’s in quotes because I’m typing).

I find it difficult to believe that you, Mr. Beland, have never read a review that wasn’t positive. I know people gush over TSSTG, but no one has ever disliked it? I mean, the way you reacted, it sounds like everyone has always loved your work, which I find odd. Maybe it’s true. I suggest you get used to it, though, because there are going to be people out there who don’t like your work. You yourself, in this very issue, say you might feel bad if the critics pick on your work. Perhaps you should have left it in the closet if you couldn’t handle it.

To start at the beginning, I didn’t realize I was whining. I enjoyed pretty much everything I bought, and if I didn’t, I thought I explained why. If I don’t like a book, I won’t buy the next issue. Like your book! I’m sorry that you thought I was whining. And my level of sophistication varies depending on the book I’m reading. Ant-Man is kind of lowbrow, but I enjoyed it. The Boys is also lowbrow, and I didn’t. I don’t know what you mean. I also have explained several times that I buy the first issue of a mini-series and decide whether I’m going to buy the rest. Because of my obviously weak brain, I can’t remember sometimes what happens during a mini-series, so I prefer to wait. I didn’t realize I was bragging about it. I was just pointing out that I bought those books and will read them when they are finished. Given the horrible scheduling of some books (you wouldn’t know anything about that, I’m sure), it could be many months before some mini-series finish. So I find it better to wait.

You claim to appreciate reviews that are “constructive.” I doubt that, because if any reviewer ever claims not to like something and tries to be “constructive,” people who DO like the book rant and rave about how if that person knows so much, why doesn’t he go write something. So I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I always try to judge a book on its own merits, because even though I know a little bit about writing, I’m a completely different person than you are. If I said, “Mr. Beland should have done this,” then that’s constructive, but it’s no longer you - it’s me. I thought explaining that I found two pages about iced coffee boring was pretty constructive - maybe it would make you think that you shouldn’t do it anymore.

And then we get to the problem with the Internet. You want people to buy your book (I assume) but then you don’t want people giving their opinions. Sure, the Internet is a very democratic place, and sure, any yahoo can go on-line and give his opinion. Boy, democracy sucks. But why is my opinion any less valid? The only qualification that Roger Ebert has, beside writing a particularly atrocious screenplay 40 years ago, is that he watches a hell of a lot of movies. Well, I read a lot of comics. So I’m qualified. Oh, and I don’t go to conventions, rarely get free copies, and don’t need to impress any ladies. The free copies I do get I’m very thankful for, and I appreciate that some people out there think I can influence people. If nobody sent me free comics, I’d still buy them, because I love them.

Okay, I DO hate this book. You got me there. But I really don’t. It was boring, but the only books I hate are the ones that offend me, either because they’re so stupid or vile or insulting. I don’t hate Eight Way Bandits, either - it just wasn’t my kind of book, and if someone asks me, I will say so.

I’m not quite sure where I implied that you created this series just so I could bash it, but if that’s your belief, so be it. Again, you claim it’s a True Story and mention that you are worried that people will bash it, but you publish it anyway. I believe there’s something about staying out of the kitchen if it’s hot.

And I love when people say stuff like, “But the people who really do the job, the ones who can be constructive and honest … those are the reviewers we in the industry follow.” I don’t even know what that means. Do you mean people who gush over your work? That’s “honest”? If I lied and said I liked this, I’d be dishonest, but you wouldn’t have a problem with me. And to say that those are the reviewers we in the industry follow - ooooh, that hurts. If you write stuff based on what a review says, then you’re not much of a writer, are you? Last week, on this very web site, Steven Grant wrote a great column about reviewers versus critics. I don’t claim to be a critic. But any review is simply a reaction to a work, and therefore cannot be invalid. I’m one voice in the wilderness of people who worship you. My reaction is no less valid than someone who thinks this is the greatest love story since “Romeo and Juliet.” If someone reads this and my other reviews and thinks I have similar tastes and doesn’t buy your book because of it, fine. But I’m not holding a gun to anyone’s head and telling them what to buy and what not to buy. I don’t fool myself into thinking I have that much power.

And finally we get to the last gasp of anyone who doesn’t like a review - “create one yourself.” I have said before and I’ll say it again, Mr. Beland - I have nothing but admiration for people who create comic books and those who self-publish. I have never written a comic, you’re right, because I am largely a prose writer. I can’t draw to save my life. Even your art, which I don’t like, is beyond me. I trust you have no opinions on movies, because you’ve never made one, or records, because you’ve never recorded one. That’s a foolish thing to write, and you should know better.

Finally, CBR didn’t hire me. They wanted Brian because he’s awesome, and he brought me along, and I appreciate that. I don’t think he regrets it.

I’m sorry I didn’t love your magnum opus, Mr. Beland. I’m very happy you found the love of your life and you’re happy with her. I’m happy with mine. And I do like love stories as long, you know, stuff happens. I’m sorry the fact that I didn’t like your book somehow nullifies the millions of people who do. You made a Seinfeld reference, so I shall too. Don’t be like George, who ignored a woman who liked him because he was so obsessed with finding out why another one didn’t. Now that’s comedy! I’ll just keep reading comics I like and ignoring ones I don’t. That’s all I can do.

Thanks for stopping by, Mr. Beland! Come back again soon!

Re: Captain Comet. When I was reading L.E.G.I.O.N., I could swear it had already been established that he either doesn’t age or ages very slowly. His original adventures still took place in the 1950s, but he still looked 30-ish in the 1990s. So it seems odd that they would need a resurrection plot to make him young “again.”

I somehow knew the tune it was sung to even though I don’t recall the song at all. Mwahahah! Fear my powers.

Still, it’s a shame I didn’t read this before I hit the shop, or I might’ve picked up Ant-Man or Dr. Strange or something. But I’m cheap.

Looking forward to reading The Other Side. Yes, I could be reading it right now, but I’m watching Them!.

Umm… I enjoy you reviews, but when you say, “now we can get to killin’ the gooks!” it sounds the same to me as “now we can get to lynching the niggers.” Its one thing for characters in historical fiction to express racism (ie, its often entirely appropriate), its another for a reviewer to enthusiastically parrot that racism (ie, it sucks).

Good reviews, Greg, but one major quibble:

Why, after hating it, keep reading The Boys in the vague hope that Ennis will turn it all around? That seems like the worst kind of superhero-fan-esque masochism. Just drop the book and read something better.

Sorry, Michael. You’re absolutely right. Just a joke, but not very funny.

Patrick, I’m giving The Boys to the end of this “mission.” With a writer like Ennis, whom I have really liked in the past, I allow a little wiggle room. Like I said, I have a feeling this mission is going to be finished in an issue or two, and it’s not looking good. I can afford another six dollars or so to make up my mind. I do want to give it a chance.

The Boys is a strange case for me. I didn’t particularly love the first issue, and I didn’t find the second issue particularly entertaining until I read it while drunk, at which point I broke down laughing at least once every 3 pages. The most entertaining part of this issue for me was showing it to a former roommate who is largely unfamiliar with comics and watching his reactions to “SUCK IT!”

As for your statements as to Ennis getting more immature recently, I’d say that some of the work he’s been doing on Punisher MAX has been some of his best work in terms of characterization, especially the most recent one-shot The Tyger, and 303 was a fascinating look at history, the American identity, and men dealing with a world that has passed them by. Meanwhile, The Boys is an incredibly crude series thusfar, yes, but so were The Pro and the numerous Dicks titles Ennis wrote. It’s a bit more mean-spirited than either of them, but Ennis has done interviews about the series stating that it’s coming from his frustration and anger with the current state of affairs.

Eh, I can definitely recognize why people would dislike this comic based on what it’s been thusfar, but to use it as an argument for the entire state of Ennis’s current output seems like a bit of a stretch. And for what it’s worth, I still find it less mean-spirited and repulsive than Wanted was.

Greg.

I’ve had some great conversations with other reviewers who didn’t enjoy my work. But, again, they gave a more professional review than what, well… whatever you call this stuff you’re writing.

I just think it’s lazy keyboard mashing in hopes that screams of “LOOK AT ME!!” more loudly than the eighteen issues I’ve published.

As for:

“And finally we get to the last gasp of anyone who doesn’t like a review - “create one yourself.” I have said before and I’ll say it again, Mr. Beland - I have nothing but admiration for people who create comic books and those who self-publish. I have never written a comic, you’re right, because I am largely a prose writer. I can’t draw to save my life. Even your art, which I don’t like, is beyond me. I trust you have no opinions on movies, because you’ve never made one, or records, because you’ve never recorded one. That’s a foolish thing to write, and you should know better”

This is an even more laughable excuse than what you’re accusing me of. Don’t like the way I write or draw… I’m cool with that. But you yourself claim to be a prose writer and yet you cranked out the most amateur piece of reviewing I’ve seen on the internet. It, like the other “reviews” you put on the screen says absolutely nothing other than boo-hooing about books you can’t afford to purchase… and that seems to be the whole basis of your reviews.

And y’know what, Greg? The reason you hate that “create one yourself” is because reviewers like yourself have no answer to it. I’ve never made a film before, but if I slammed a director on a personal level… and he/she told me to pitch them a better idea, I’d take them up on it. If I slammed someone’s art style in this wanner and that person gave me the same challenge, I’d take them up on it. I mean, it’s GOT to be easy for a “large prose writer” such as yourself to create a book good enough to beat such as piece of shit as my book. You’re a fucking writer, dillweed, I’m not telling you to draw the fucking book, I’m challenging you to give me a pitch for a better book. You can’t sit down and knock out a comic book script?? I’ve never written a script in my life and I put out two Spider-Man scripts in one year. Suck it up and meet my challenge, prose-man.

But you can’t draw to save your life… and I’m hoping to GOD that you’re not counting on your writing to rescue you. You’d be dead in two seconds. If you don’t know the first thing about what goes into making a comic book, then just buy them and make room for the reviewers who DO know what goes into making them. You’re just in the freakin’ way, dude. The people you’re trying to be like have taken the time and effort to learn about the industry before they became a reviewer.

You make the attacks on here that go beyond the realm of reviewing and then you pussy-out on a creator when he/she calls you on it. “Oh I have nothing but admiration” is what you say after this piece of shit you call a review?

Fuck man, don’t jump up on the table and talk smack about someone’s work and then become a vagina when a creator shows up. It’s bush league at its worst, you hack. You didn’t review this book, you just took a genre that you can’t stand to begin with, for God knows WHAT reason… then blasted it. Bravo and what the fuck ever.

I’m even more disappointed with CBR with this. I don’t mind a bad review, but if this is what Jonah considers top-quality work, then I’m more disillusioned wth CBR than you could possibly be with autobio comics.

Fuck man, don’t jump up on the table and talk smack about someone’s work and then become a vagina when a creator shows up. It’s bush league at its worst, you hack.

You got a bad review. Warranted or not, just walk away, man. This is ugly and it’s not needed.

Oh, and Greg… okay, fair point on The Boys, but man, you’re a lot more patient then I am. Three issues and I tend to get pretty frustrated.

I’ve read nice things said about True Story… in the past, and considered picking it up. Seemed like a good time. I decided to check some reviews before doing so, and Greg’s reviews are one of the places I look for opinion.

So now I’ve seen the author fruiting out at someone on the net over a review he didn’t like. That’s just completely put me off spending my money on the comic more than any review.

Hey Mr Beland, weren’t you the guy who flipped out on BENDIS! over something he said about Puerto Rico?

Are you going to wax on me now?

I’m not going to wax on you.

But I will say that if this is the place where you look for opinions on comics, I’d rather not have you as a reader. Take you money and buy some candy with it. Go rent a movie. Couldn’t care less. Go buy an action figure and you and Greg can create some exciting scenarios and discuss how real comics are made.

Put you off on buying the comic… give me a fucking break. The reason I even SAW this link is due to the fact that I’ve received 29 emails asking me what I did to piss off the review guy at CBR. I finally checked it out and you have my reaction. I would’ve loved the review as I do any review… but this crap? Not even close to anything I’d call a review.

Augie De Blieck Jr. doesn’t give a glowing review of every comic he reads. But the man handles his work with class. Augie would know that using a joke containing the word “gook” would be offensive. But, hey… this site is free, so why should someone be upset with the usage of that phrase?

Dude, it’s one bad review. Get over it, and get some thicker skin. Even if you think it wasn’t constructive, so what? Your reaction goes well beyond the imagined transgression in this case.

And no one can criticize something unless they can create something better? That’s crazy. So I can’t criticize a bad videogame that bores me unless I learn how to program one myself? I can’t critique an awful movie unless I go to film school or create my own film? Maybe the reason no one can respond to the argument is because they’re shocked you’re being petty enough to even advance it.

Well. Guess I can add another name to list of creator’s whose work I’ll never purchase due to their rampant shitheadedness.

“But I will say that if this is the place where you look for opinions on comics, I’d rather not have you as a reader. Take you money and buy some candy with it. Go rent a movie. Couldn’t care less. ”

Consider it done.

Maybe I, too, can’t write reviews to save my life or know good reviewing when I read it…but I don’t really see anything there that warrants that kind of reaction. I’ve read much, much worse all over the blogosphere, and in print.

I’ve been called out by creators once or twice myself on things I have written about their work, but I’ve never had such a tirade like this one leveled at me, thank God.

Oh, I read other opinion and reviews on comics, Mr Beland. CBR is, as said, but one stop.
It wasn’t Greg’s review that made me change my mind about buying your work, it was your reaction.

But hey, it’s cool that you’re not bothered about your internet presence costing you a sale.

(…it was you that went mentalist at BENDIS! over a diss at Puerto Rico though, right?)

Anyway, nice talking to you and thanks for not over-reacting to my previous post in any way at all.

I met Tom Beland at the MoCCA convention in New York last year. He was there with Lily, who was very lovely and sweet and chatted with me while Tom did a sketch for me. Which is part of the reason I had a hard time reading the comments and writing the response. Tom seemed like a nice guy, and I’ve enjoyed his work in the past, and I’m having a hard time reconciling that with the rambling, bitter, foul-mouthed hatred I’ve seen today.

I have so much I want to say I don’t even know where to begin. The initial review that started all this conflict hardly seems worth the effort of a response, let alone the amount of anger it seemed to cause. To paraphrase a great entertainer, you cannot please all of the people all of the time, and anyone who produces work for the consumption of others would eventually come to realize that fact, I should think. One of the Gregs didn’t like the comic, said so, and said why. Yeah he put a little glitter on it, because he’s trying to be an entertainer himself and four-word reviews are boring. But one of the great things about a collaberative medium like a blog with several contributors, or even one with comments, is that you have oppurtunities for rebuttals and differing opinions. I imagine that in a day or two someone would have posted their positive review of the comic. Folks who wouldn’t like that type of book would be warned away, while folks who would enjoy it would be tipped off to something that they might have missed. That’s what this website is for, I think. But given the response by the person claiming to be Tom Beland, I am hard-pressed to think of anybody finding the motivation to defend him at this point. Which is a shame because, as I’ve said, I’ve enjoyed Tom Beland’s comics in the past. I’m just not sure whether I’ll ever be able to enjoy them in the future.

Whether or not that is really Tom Beland posting, I think that this falls under the heading of “Ebert’s Law” (see link below).

http://www.journalfen.net/community/jurisimprudence/10082.html

“Whether or not that is really Tom Beland posting, ”

I hope to god it’s not.

“you cranked out the most amateur piece of reviewing I’ve seen on the internet”

You don’t read the internet much, do you “Tom”?

I hadn’t thought much about if it was really Tom Beland actually writing the posts.

I hope it’s not. But if it is, it kinda makes me sad.

I re-read the original review and I don’t see the personal attacks that he claims are there. Perhaps that is just a side-effect of reviewing somthing that’s autobiographical in nature. The guy puts his “personal” life on paper for everyone to read, but if someone says it’s boring I guess that makes it “personal attack”.

An interesting conundrum.

PS - Hail hail the Eyeball Kid!

I’ve put on my fedora with “Press” card tucked in it (man, I gotta get me one of those!), my fat is actually lapping over the arms of my chair, and I’m clutching my day-old half-eaten breakfast burrito. I don’t suppose I owe Mr. Beland this, but I’ll give it a go:

Tom Beland brings True Story Swear to God to Image with a new #1 and a chance for a wider audience. On the first few pages he succinctly sums up “the story so far” - namely, how he met Lily Garcia, the woman with whom he moved to Puerto Rico. This issue is basically the set up to his time in Puerto Rico, as he deals with feelings of isolation because he is completely out of his comfort zone, and emasculation because Lily is a successful businesswoman and he is a struggling freelancer. These two themes, along with his proclamations of love for Ms. Garcia, are the main ideas of the book.

Unfortunately, Mr. Beland’s ideas, which could have led to some interesting comments about the society in which he lives and how he struggles to profess his love, never quite translate well onto the page. Early on, he speaks to Lily about his visit to California and how all his friends have moved on. This is an opportunity to show how everyone grows up and grows apart, which would add some wistfulness to the book, but because Mr. Beland simply tells Lily about it, he comes off as whining and misses the chance. We have all experienced this feeling to one degree or another, so it’s not that we are impressed by Mr. Beland’s trenchant insight, but with less exposition and by allowing us to come to the conclusions that he did, we could sympathize more with him. In this case, however, we simply think that he should grow up.

This is too often the case in this book. It’s packed full of “telling, not showing,” which is deadly in a visual medium like comics. The most charming part of the book is when Mr. Beland tries to get paid by the various people who owe him money, because despite a great deal of dialogue, we see him take some action (even if said action is lying on the sofa eating something) and laugh along with his efforts. This kind of parallelling of the words with the pictures is lacking in the rest of the book, however.

The most egregious error in the book is the foundation of it. This is, supposedly, a love story, but that never really comes across. The fact that Mr. Beland is no longer with Ms. Garcia might lend some retroactive recognition of what’s wrong with their relationship, but even without that knowledge, this does not read like a great love story. When Mr. Beland complains about people he knows moving on without him, it comes off less of a sad recognition of the reality and more of a complaint that he has moved to Puerto Rico. Perhaps that’s not how it’s meant to sound, but how must Ms. Garcia think about this. Mr. Beland often ruminates about his stalled career, and while that’s not a bad thing to ruminate about, it feels as if he is far more concerned about that than his relationship. Toward the end, when he has gotten paid, we get into the “relationship” part of the book. Mr. Beland makes dinner for Lily, an expression of his love for her, but throughout, he keeps telling us that it’s an expression of his love for her, and that’s why it feels hollow. As I was reading the two pages about making Lily dinner, it felt as if it was something he HAD to do in order to “prove” his love, and he seems to care more about the feeling it gives to him than the feeling it gives to Lily. Perhaps I’m reading this wrong, but this book seems remarkably Tom Beland-centered for a romance. He can’t speak for Lily, obviously, but he could stop talking about himself all the time.

There’s a sort of quiet charm to the book, and I can see why people like it. It speaks to a universal desire to be loved and give love, and the struggle to make it work. However, love is not something that can be explained, and Beland misses several opportunities to stop with the dialogue and allow us to pick up his intentions about the scene. The entire page with he and Lily sitting on the sofa eating his tuna casserole could have been done without narration balloons. In the first panel, Lily says, “Mmm … tuna casserole,” with hearts around her word balloon (a nice touch) and in the last panel, she says, “I like the topping … it’s crunchy,” to which Beland replies, “Those are deep fried onions.” The middle panels, where Lily enjoys the meal, need nothing else. This would give us a deeper feeling for their relationship, allow us to draw our own conclusions, and would lessen the feeling we get that Mr. Beland is in it simply for himself. That would be a charming scene, but instead it’s overwrought because of the narration.

Ultimately, this is far sadder than it should be. As I wrote, perhaps it’s the knowledge that the couple are no longer together, but it just seems that Mr. Beland’s words and his actions are opposed to each other. He tells us how much he loves Lily, but he appears to do little to show it (beyond making her dinner, which I’ve covered). As a love story, this is a tale about a man who can’t commit to a relationship even after he moves to Puerto Rico from California. That’s rather strange.

I can’t recommend TSSTG. It moves far too slowly and misses far too many chances to tell us something new about romance. Love stories should make us feel good about our relationships, because we can recognize our relationships in them. This fails to do that, and that’s why the book as a whole is a failure. It’s too bad, because romances are a forgotten genre within the comic book medium, and it would be nice to see a great one.

There, Mr. Beland. And readers who thought I was a bit too flip in my initial review. The book is still boring. But at least I was nice, right?

I still appreciate your words, even if you’re being a dick about it. And you know, you’re right - using “gooks” was offensive, and I apologized - it was meant to be a joke, but it was stupid - and I deleted it, because that’s what people do. Similarly, I like how you equate me with a part of the female anatomy, implying that it’s somehow weak, and don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Will we get an apology from you? Somehow I doubt it.

Thanks again for stopping by. Sorry it was for such an idiotic reason. I think we do a pretty good job here at being even-handed. But you can disagree all you want.

I’ve already said my peace to Jonah.

I couldn’t care less how you want to repackage your column, dude. Do us all a favor and go back to prose.

Greg: As far as your original review of TSSTG goes, you have nothing to be sorry about.

Mr. Beland (if that’s who you really are): I had never heard of your book until I read Greg’s review. Even if I had heard of it, I probably wouldn’t have been inclined to pick it up (not my cup of tea). After reading your “comments” here, I can guarantee you that I will never pick it up!

Here’s a little piece of unsolicited advice:

Don’t bother trying to respond to Beland.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with your review, and trying to repackage it so he won’t be offended just validates his idea that you did something wrong in the first place.

It’s almost unbelievable that someone who handles criticism like he does can keep any kind of job.

Greg, you’re handling this really, really well.

But on a side-note, I just wanna pick up on the comment you made about Roger Ebert earlier: he’s not where he is just because he sees a lot of movies, he’s where he is because he’s capable of writing interesting and worthwhile reviews of said movies. I mean, that seems exceedingly obvious, but it’s just worth pointing out because the art of good criticism is often really underrated.

Beland’s no Seinfeld, but you’re not Ebert either, is all. I always like your reviews, though, and god knows I can’t be bothered reviewing the comics I buy, so thanks for taking the time. I haven’t picked up TSSTG before- not a fan of autobios- and your review reminded me why that is, cheers.

You’re absolutely right, Rohan, and I hope I wasn’t comparing myself to Ebert, because his actual film criticism is very good, while my attempts at comics criticism have been less than laudable. I’m just saying that he got to where he was because he sees every movie and distills them into capsule reviews, which is a handy talent. But it’s not like he’s a director or screenwriter or works in the movie industry. He’s just a guy who watches a lot of movies. Excellent work if you can get it. There’s no degree you can get for film reviews, just as there’s no degree you can get for comics reviews. That’s all I meant.

Yeah, for sure. Any degree you could get would be pretty useless, anyway… like you say, it just comes down to seeing a lot of movies and being able to make the reviews interesting. Again, nice reviews this week, shame about the unpleasantness in the comments.

Wow, Tom Beland does freak out at anything. I mean, there was that Bendis thing a while back, but I figured it was just misconstrued. Plus, I don’t know Bendis, so maybe he really is just a jerk.

But this confirms it. There was nothing wrong with your review, Greg. It’s just too bad that Mr. Beland came here to throw his fit.

Greg — Well, I was going to pick on your word choice (Never liked “egregious.” It’s such a snooty word) but after all the trouble from the first review, that seems like it’d be in poor taste.

“Greg — Well, I was going to pick on your word choice (Never liked “egregious.” It’s such a snooty word) but after all the trouble from the first review, that seems like it’d be in poor taste.”

Since it’s usage in Talledaga Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, the word egregious has lost the right to be snooty.
“This is egregious, do you hear me! Egregious!!!!!”

I haven’t gone through all the comments here, and I haven’t read the latest issue of TSSTG (I’m a bad person; after discovering it in trades, I decided to stick with that format). But, I loved the previous TSSTG series, and I usually agree with Greg’s reviews.

So, when it came to his TSSTG review, I did think it was overly harsh and snarky. And I think Mr. Beland’s remarks have been much the same. For someone who comes across in his writing as fairly jovial and good-humored, this smacks uncharacteristically of sour grapes.

Greg, I think part of the problem is that, while this may be a #1, it comes in the middle of an ongoing story, and while the portions with the family moving on might seem petty and naive, to those who have been reading since the beginning, it has significantly greater emotional gravitas. Sure, it might be a failure of the traditional conventions of first issues to not recap that sort of thing, but it’s hard to get the same sort of emotional involvement in one issue that for others has been building for a whole volume. Still, it seems like you approached this with a negative attitude and outright trepidation over the autobiographical nature of the work. To suggest that autobiography can only be interesting if the subject’s led some sort of extraordinary life, to snarkily condemn the whole of “slice-of-life” literature, seems really over-the-top. Maybe it’s not your cup of tea, but “I shove knitting needles into my eyes”? That was unnecessary.

Mr. Beland, I have the utmost respect for your work, and I fully anticipate enjoying the newest installment of “True Story” when I can. But this behavior is reprehensible. Yes, the review was unnecessarily harsh, but that’s no reason for vulgar, sexist language, and just the sort of ad hominem attacks you seem to accuse Mr. Burgas of committing. Just as Greg can’t presume to speak for all the fans and/or detractors of your work, you can’t presume to speak for all the readers of this blog, and claiming that you don’t want the people who read this blog to buy your book isn’t endearing you to anyone, including your fans.
As far as the “put up or shut up” argument, it’s crap, plain and simple. I can’t play an instrument to save my life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tell when something’s out of tune. You don’t have to be proficient at something to be able to recognize its strengths and weaknesses. That proficiency might make you more aware, might bring up details and whatnot that the uninitiated would miss, but it certainly isn’t a requirement for criticism.

Sheesh. Such ugly behavior.

Hey Greg:

I always enjoy your reviews, and they’ve put me onto some good stuff I wouldn’t have read otherwise (Sudden Gravity, Brownesville, Cyclone Bill & The Tall Tales).
When I first read the comments yesterday I got to thinking that maybe your review was a little mean, but I’ve just re-read it, and can’t really fault it - it says the same thing but is much more entertaining than the second one (which is more criticism than review).
Perhaps if certain people had read more of your reviews, rather than just reading one about their book and going off the rails, they’d have been more in tune with your style.

Hey Tom Beland:

I felt depressed when I read your comments yesterday.
I only know you through your work (and like one or two interviews), that is to say I don’t know you at all. Normally I can keep author and work seperate in my mind, and have different opinions about the two (ie Due to his autobiography I don’t know if I’d actually get along with James Ellroy, but I do love his work).
However, as your work is you - that is a retelling of your life - I’ve found you comments here have really affected my view of TSSTG.
Now inst