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CSBG Archive

Snark Free Corner for 12/18

Welcome to the latest installment of your breath of snark free air!



A line I find myself using often is the following, “This book/movie/comic/TV show took a different approach, but often, there’s a good reason why other writers in the past avoided this approach.”

Brian Wood’s Pounded (with art by Steve Rolston) takes a different approach.

But in this case, I believe it pays off.

Heavy Parker, the star of Pounded, is one of the more….unique comic characters of recent history. He is the the local king of the Vancouver punk scene…even though he really has no discernible talent. Heavy is all show and bluster. Underneath it all, he is an untalented, spoiled rich kid.

And he’s the STAR of the book.

And the kicker, by the end of the series, you are almost ROOTING for him.

Wood does an excellent job filling Heavy with in depth characterization. The rest of the characters get much less introspection, but I suppose that’s just logical.

In any event, the three-part series follows a familiar path, while taking an interesting detour.

In #1, Heavy is at the top, but he screws over his innocent young girlfriend.


In #2, his ex-girlfriend, Missy, back from college in New York, turns the tables on Heavy, and Heavy hits the bottom.


In #3, Heavy makes his comeback…but manages to do so without really learning a lesson.


It’s such an absurd literary idea, but you will find yourself totally going along with it.

And the art by Rolston is top notch. He’s an amazing talent.

Pounded is a good comic, and one of the rare mini-series that leaves you wanting more of the story.

Pounded was released in a trade paperback (under 10 bucks, I believe) by Oni Press in 2002. Steve Rolston’s website has links if you want to purchase it.


One cool point to the first person who can tell me which cover this A-Next cover is homaging!



If the original five members of the X-Men competed on American Idol against each other, who would win?


As always, here is the game. I show three covers. They all have something in common, whether it be a character, a trait all three characters share, locale, creator, SOMEthing. And it isn’t something obvious like “They all have prices!” “They all have logos!” “They all feature a man!” etc.

In addition, please note that you must have some familiarity with comic book history to correctly guess these comics. You cannot guess the connective theme just by looking at the covers solely, you must have some knowledge beyond just the covers.

Good luck! A cool point to the first one who figures it out!








The set-up is this – Kang kidnaps the Avengers and brings them to his time, where Captain America follows (by challenging Kang to bring him to the future, as well). Kang is dealing with some minor revolutionaries, which he is trying to use to get a princess, Ravonna, to marry him.

Ravonna and Captain America help start a revolution, but it is cut short when Kang’s forces are just too much.

Ravonna, then agrees to marry Kang, to save her people.

However, Kang’s men have a problem with this idea…

Avengers 024-12_edited.jpg

This leads to even more problems…

Avengers 024-13_edited.jpg

Ultimately, Kang is forced on the run, when they try to assassinate him. He is forced to come crawling to the Avengers for help…

Avengers 024-15_edited.jpg

Ultimately, Kang wins victory, and perhaps Ravonna’s heart…but the moment is not a happy one, for another assassination attempt on Kang occurs – which is stopped by, of all people, Ravonna!!!

Avengers 024-21_edited.jpg

Pretty damn poignant, eh?

Well, that’s it for this installment of Snark Free Corner.

Hope you had fun!


“If the original five members of the X-Men competed on American Idol against each other, who would win?”

I’d say Jean Grey or Scott Summers. Jean because they were all drooling over her in the first issue. So she has the looks (and even if she couldn’t sing a note she’d probably be able to make you think she can).

Scott because, well, he’s just as annoying as most people on these shows are.

The Beast would have a shot too. Look at the ugly bastard that won the contest last time around.

Warren would win. He’s just so dreeeeeamy.

Cover Challenge- Is the theme characters being transformed?

It would probably come down to Beast, Angel, and Jean; with Beast winning it all. Chances are, Angel has the best voice, Jean would be there as the sex symbol, and Beast would win it in the ratings-grabbing twist at the end (a la Rueben Studdard and that crazy guy who won last year).

Patrick Hamilton

December 20, 2006 at 7:32 am

The cover homage is Avengers #25 when Cap’s Kooky Quartet fought Dr. Doom.


It’s been established that Hank has a tin ear, so he’s out.

Scott has all the charisma of a skin cancer, so he has no chance.

Out of Bobby, Warren, and Jean, I give Jean the best shot, as Bobby and Warren will split the squealing teenage girl demographic between them, leaving Jean to clean up among the disturbingly-high male 35-50 numbers.

I’ll have to check out “Pounded” – sounds good.

I wonder if it’s coincidence that “Heavy Parker” is an anagram of “Harvey Pekar” …”?

I’m willing to bet Warren, being the upper class kid that he was, probably had vocal training in his youth, or at the very least has some sort of musical experience, which should tip the votes in his favour.

But that’s assuming the American public would vote based on talent.

No matter who won, Professor X would come in at the last minute and wipe everybody’s minds so they wouldn’t remember a thing.

give beast a barry white song and watch the magic happen…

For the cover theme game: Did a new team come in in all those issues?

Hank’s Taylor Hicks beats Bobby’s Clay Aiken. But it’s close.

Here’s the thing with Jean being in American Idol. Having a really killer body will get you far, but you won’t win on that alone. Because as you get down to the end, America all of a sudden thinks they are legit judges of talent, and will be overly critical of any vocal mishaps. Plus, I don’t think telepathy works over television frequancies.

Bobby would pull a Peter Brady and have a crackly voice. He’s out.

Scott would be a bore and try and bust it loose with “Copa Cabanna” or something lame. He’s done.

That leaves Hank, who would probably learn all there is about singing, and Warren, who has the voice of an Angel (thank you, thank, I’ll be here all week).

I’ll take Warren in a toss up.

This is two “This Comic Is Good”‘s in a row! First Global Frequency, now Pounded. Pounded was one of those mini’s that I picked up in a quarter bin at a local con a few years ago. I loved the first two sissues and spent the better paret of a week debating the merits of the final issue with a friend of mine. Can’t ask for more than that from a 75 cent investment!

Jean wins, easy. Telepathy and horny voters.

The Mad Monkey

March 13, 2007 at 2:15 am

Cover Theme: All the covers feature at least one mutant.

Remember, kids…Namor is a mutant.

“Sub-Mariner and Hellcat have nothing to do with this one.” is what the link into this said.

I’m thinking it’s Valkyrie.

Maybe that her and Moonstar were both linked heavily to Asgard, and Cameron Hodge is linked with a demon…

Jeff Albertson

March 13, 2007 at 4:26 pm

transformations – each features a character who has physically transformed from the character’s last appearance – Red Guardian, Karma, and Hodge.

Theme Game: they all feature characters whose name is a word normally spelled with a “C”, but spelled with a “K” (Lunatik, Magik, Havok)?

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