CBI Archive
Speedball Fans, Unite!
- by Brad Curran
- in General
Sunday, January 14th, 2007 at 1:59 PM EST
Updated: Sunday, January 14th, 2007 at 2:08 PM EST
We can’t stand for this total desecration of our favorite character! We must pool our collective, self righteous fury in to a group with a snappy acronym that will demand, loudly (but solely through internet message boards) that Robbie Baldwin be returned to his past glory and that all mention of Penance be forever wiped from sacred Marvel canon! Also, we should make vague threatening comments about Mark Millar, Paul Jenkins, and Joe Quesada, I think. Ron Marz, too, even if he had nothing to do with it at all. Because we are angry at the treatment of a fictional character! Arrgh!Okay, I’m not that angry about what’s happened to Speedball. Really, I’m more bemused and disappointed than anything. Because, really, it’s Speedball; I have affection for the doofus, like I do all manner of oddball characters I grew up reading comics about, from Arcade to many lame Spider-Man characters (I want a Silver Sable and the Wild Pack ongoing! With a good creative team!) and many points in between from Marvel’s back catalogue they’d probably like us to forget; but it’s not like I passionately follow every Speedball appearence (although, before now, that would have been incredibly easy, since he’s had like 7 since the last time they cancelled New Warriors). I’ve really been trying to ignore Civil War, actually, even if I did just pick up a couple of its spin offs in the form of Warren Ellis’s Thunderbolts and Fraction and Olivetti’s Punisher War Journal.
It’s just sad to me to see yet another bright, shiny, fun, light hearted character but through the angsty meat grinder and churned out as another ridiculously grim and gritty version of themself like it’s still 1987 or something and they even have an excuse of not knowing better that this kind of thing really doesn’t work. It annoyed me when they did it to Ralph Dibny and all the other characters caught up in the various Crises, and it annoys me now that Marvel’s doing it.
I mean, beyond the fact that Penance is such an absurdly lame character design that he would really be better off showing up in an alternate reality issue of Nextwave (where it was still going on and not likely better off for having ended) and being played as a huge joke who died from blood loss because of those dumb spikes in his costume* or whatever (or, as Paul O’Brian mentioned, in a X-Statix or another Peter Milligan comic, because he’s very good at playing with ridiculous concepts and still making them work); and the fact that apparently his sudden lapse in to crushing angst makes no sense in the context of a comic I have no interest in reading; and, come on, what would his co-creator Steve Ditko think, if he could possibly give a crap about Speedball; I am just overwhlemed with one question; why?
I just don’t get the point. Maybe one will emerge. From my limited following of 52, it seems like they’re at least trying to do something with Ralph Dibny’s post Identity Crisis, which seems like something similar to the whole “Ostrander cleaned up Moore’s mess with Barbara Gordon” kind of thing, where there wasn’t neccessarily a plan to give the character a purpose after breaking them for shock value.
In the grand scheme of things, Speedball’s new direction is not something I will lose sleep over. He’s a character I sort of liked when I was 12, and in the grand scheme of things, that’s not worth a lot of aggravation over. I’m reading the first comic he’s showing up in, Ellis’s Thunderbolts (at least until one of us gets bored), so it’s not like I’m engaging in a Marvel boycott until he’s back to bouncing around like a spaz and making dumb jokes; I have no H.E.A.T like moral outrage or historionics in me for the ruination of Speedball, especially becuse, if someone really cares, they can always hit the reset button and bring shiny happy Speedball and the rest of the New Warriors back, or pull a Bendis and put him in the Avengers because he’s their pet character (okay, I’ll totally do that if I ever write the Avengers. Prowler and Rocket Racer, too. I will make people long for the days of Luke Cage, Spider-Woman, and Echo as charter members).
I just find it disheartening that this is the state of mainstream comics. That the “me too!” business model that has been prevalent since the early days of the industry still exists to the point where not only does Marvel copy all of DC’s annoying publishing decisions in chase of the dollar dollar bill y’all (remember Quesada’s whole “But we have to do variant covers!” thing?), but all of their dumb creative ones too. Except, instead of grim ‘n’ gritty Elongated Man (with Sue’s pregnancy test as an accessory for the action figure, surely**), we get the even dumber idea of grim ‘n’ gritty Speedball as a sadomasochist with an even dumber costume than the one he used to have.
It’s a sad state of affairs when a character’s better off in obscurity than they are appearing in a big crossover event and a comic written by Warren Ellis. I’d better stop, or I might lose my ironic detachment and get really angry over the fate of poor Speedball.
*- I can see this vividly in my head, too, with Immonen art and everything. And it’s hilarious. “I am Pennance and– Urk!” And he dies. That writes itself.
**- Did they do that with Ralph’s Identity Crisis figure? I really have no idea, and find the idea just plausible enough to believe it might have happened.
18 Comments
Johnny Bacardi
January 14, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Can I get the Yelena Belova Black Widow added to this petition?
Sleestak
January 14, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Once again, a comic book company raped my ditkohood.
Dan K
January 14, 2007 at 3:46 pm
I agree in theory. IN THEORY. But first I kinda want to see how Warren Ellis does Speedball in a Gimp Suit. Is that so very wrong?
Ian Astheimer
January 14, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I like Djurdjevic’s Penance design, but I like acronyms even more.
Here’re some options for the pending Robbie Baldwin Defense League:
PAP - People Against Penance
SNAP - Speedball’s Not A Pervert
RIF’D - Robbie Is Fun, Dammit!
BALLS - Baldwin’s Army of Loyalists, Lovers, and Sympathizers
Bill Reed
January 14, 2007 at 4:08 pm
SCROTUM - Speedball Comic Readers Opposing Transformation Under Marvel.
PRICK - Penace Really Is Crappy, Kinda.
Matthew Craig
January 14, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Speedball’s Heroic Intervention Team
//\OO/\\
LPMandrake
January 14, 2007 at 6:05 pm
I like the sound of the Brad Curran Avengers Reign of Terror.
Michael
January 14, 2007 at 6:37 pm
The entire Penance thing is such a transparent example of nerds trying to look cool that you just have to laugh.
So, for that matter, is “Chick Ultron.”
John Seavey
January 14, 2007 at 6:38 pm
I think you hit the nail on the head here; I’m not angry about Speedball, I’m angry about the entire trend of which Speedball is a tiny, insignificant, doofy part. No one of the recent tidal wave of C-list hero deaths/”grim-eye-for-the-nice-guy” makeovers is worth yelling over, but when you start looking at the list, it’s just absurd. It feels like DC and Marvel have finally gotten to the point where they’re cannibalizing their back-catalogue wholesale, just to keep jaded readers interested.
What I’d like to see tattooed on the inside of the eyelids of Marvel and DC’s editorial staff is: “Everybody is someone’s favorite character.” Sure, there’s only about 100 passionate and devoted fans of Speedball (or Pantha, or Air-Wave, or Animal Man, or Booster Gold, or Blue Beetle) out there, but when you can put them in as guest stars and get a hundred extra readers for that issue, why are you killing them off? You are a company in the business of intellectual property management; the real estate equivalent would be burning down a warehouse because it “gets people paying attention.”
But, obviously, I’m not a member of the editorial staff involved, and perhaps there’s a payoff I’m not seeing. (I put this sentence in mainly to be polite–I see exactly what the payoff is. It’s emotional. Marvel and DC are making these decisions because they want to demonstrate that they can do serious, mature, grown up comics; it’s a business practice based almost entirely on ego. They are, in essence, scuttling their publishing business to show the guys who picked on them in high school that comics aren’t just for babies.)
The Mutt
January 14, 2007 at 10:19 pm
I’ve been reading comics since Krypto was a pup and I’m pretty sure that Civil War #1 was the first comic I ever read with Speedball in it. I have enjoyed his story arc in Frontline, while not actually enjoying the writing or art. I like the idea of Marvel destroying its most happy-go-lucky character. Somebody has to atone for the Civil War. It won’t be Stark — he has movies coming out.
Penance is just such an icky concept, though. I grew up Catholic with all of the fetishing of the pain and the mortification and the flaggelation and it just oogs me out.
I hope Venom eats him. That would be cool.
Ye Olde Iowa
January 15, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Screw it, I really like the Penance idea and I really don’t get why everyone is so quick to trash the change when they haven’t even seen how it plays out. Who knows, this new step for Baldwin could totally blow your mind and he could end up being one of your favorite character transformations.
As far as the idea that “every character is someone’s favorite” goes, if the editorial staffs at DC and Marvel used that as their motto and the creators adhered to it, comics would have gotten completely stale and the industry would have dried up a long time ago. Not everyone is going to be happy with every change, but I can’t imagine anyone being happy with character’s that never changed or a shared universe where no characters die. I’m sure that may piss off the “100 or so” Speedball fans out there, but I’ll take an ever-changing comics universe over a ever-static universe any day.
Ian
January 15, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Well said Iowa. Having a super-hero change direction and his outlook on life (in a significant way) is an interesting, unexplored concept. AND, it couldn’t be done without using a pre-existing character.
So we’re losing a fun character. You know what, its not like he was being used anyway. There are plenty of fun characters around, do we really need to get all upset over changing one?
Oh, and the “they’re trying to look cool” thing is just hysterical. Again, there is plenty of goofiness being published in the last couple of years (the romance books, the monster books, GLA) that really shows how asinine that statement is.
Matt D
January 16, 2007 at 6:38 am
i do miss the fun, full of wonder Marvel comics, yes I do.
Everything’s way too street level now, because we have people in charge who grew up on Frank Miller’s DD as the greatest thing a Marvel comic can be.
Evan Waters
January 16, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Honestly, Penance would be a bad idea even if it was a brand new character. I’m actually amused by this particular darkening simply because it’s so unintentionally silly.
Not that I don’t agree with the overall point. Unfortunately, it seems to be what the market dictates- the readers love grit and angst, and titles that try to avoid that often end up on the cancellation bubble. For some reason the Big Two can’t consistently sustain a wide variety of titles- at any given moment they may be publishing something like SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE or GLA, but in the long term those titles have a hard time staying around.
Taniwha
January 16, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Penance is the hood ornament on the big crapmobile driving Marvel down the drain.
yo go re
January 18, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Robbie’s Anti-Pennance Elevators
Ann Nichols
January 21, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Ian,
“Having a super-hero change direction and his outlook on life (in a significant way) is an interesting, unexplored concept.” Really? I’m 52 years old, (which makes me older than Messrs. Quesada and Brevoort), and I remember when Barry Allen’s “The Flash” was changed from a fun comic to another grim & gritty type. I remember being quite annoyed because at the time I was already getting my fill of angst in Marvel and DC comics (back then I bought every Marvel book except for the reprints & “Crazy” and about 2/3rds of the DC books). “The Flash” had been the title I relaxed with.
No, I’m not a Speedball fan, but I don’t think much of what was done to him.
MarkAndrew
January 21, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Actually, this sounds about twenty times funnier than Speedball ever was.
*Snicker*