CBR Live! Archive
And now, for a very special Super Bowl Prediction from the original Mighty Avengers!
- by Brad Curran
- in General
Because I feel like it
the Incredible Hulk: I put my money on the Colts, so that's who I'm rootin' for, 'cause all I care about is gettin' mine. I swear, if that brat Rick Jones interupts this game I'll snap him in half. Oh, crap, it's four o'clock, time for my personality to change! Stupid Stan and Jack!
Savage Hulk: Hulk like Bears! Puny Banner probably likes the Colts because they are a finesse team! Hulk Smash Banner like Bears Smash Colts! Oh no, Hulk to excited from smack talk, or perhaps Hulk came in to contact with sunlight, Hulk not sure, turning back to Banner...
Dr. Bruce Banner: Oh God, what have I done? My clothes are torn, my apartment is a mess, and I'm wearing a giant foam finger and a beer helmet; did Hulk invite a bunch of guys over to watch the Super Bowl? Because I don't care for football! It makes me angry. And... hell, you already know the rest. I wanted to watch the Discovery Channel all day!
Iron Man: I pick whichever team has an absurdly elaborate plan for victory. Like me. I do that kind of thing. You might even call me the kind of guy who could start a civil war; if you were really unsubtle. Jeph Loeb does that every time I see him. So, anyway, since Tony Dungy seems like the kind of guy who would take samples of Peyton Manning's DNAÂ and unleash a psychotic clone of him if the chips were down, I'll go with the Colts.
Thor: Verily, it shall be a tremendous contest of athletic achievement on yon field of battle, not unlike the sort of contests the Odin Son engaged in with the Frost Giants in days of yore. Lovie Smith doth remind me somewhat of most exalted Odin himself, and Brian Urlacher is a spitting image of the God of Thunder in his younger days, so I shalt choose the Bears! Because the Colts are pussies, just like those Frost Giants.
Captain America: Football sure has changed since the '40s. What happened to the leather helmets? What is this forward pass I've heard so much about? Also, I wonder if Rick Jones could get me a beer? I could sure go for a beer. Mm, beer! Bucky used to get me a beer. God do I miss Bucky. I long to see him again. I wonder if that could in any way be construed as strange?*
Rick Jones: Jeepers, why is Cap looking at me like that?
Ant Man: I predict that I will hit the Wasp at least five times if I lose money on the Colts!
Wasp:Â God I hope the Colts win. Stupid Jim Shooter!
*Other people who have read Avengers #4 thought that Cap making Rick Jones the new Bucky was extremely creepy, right?
- Posted on February 4, 2007 @ 03:27 PM
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12 Comments
Greg Burgas
February 4, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Captain America would surely be familiar with Sammy Baugh, one of the great quarterbacks and proponents of the forward pass, as well as Sid Luckman, another great thrower, whose Chicago Bears used the T-formation and threw a lot in the 1940 Championship Game, in which they defeated Baugh's Washington team 73-0. Perhaps Steve Rogers attended the game!
Brad Curran
February 4, 2007 at 5:43 pm
A wizard did it.
Brad Curran
February 4, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Actually, a witch. The Scarlet Witch. Everything's her fault. When in doubt, blame the crazy redheaded chick!
L.P. Mandrake
February 4, 2007 at 5:50 pm
If Iron Man is backing the Colts, does that mean that everyone watching the game is supposed to root for the Bears?
Brad Curran
February 4, 2007 at 5:52 pm
THESE PREDICTIONS ARE COMPLETELY UNBIASED! WE GAVE BOTH TEAMS A FAIR ARGUMENT! THIS IS NOT AN ALLEGORY! EXCUSE US WHILE WE COUNT OUR MONEY!
Sincerely,
Mark Millar and Paul Jenkins
Michael
February 4, 2007 at 9:30 pm
I believe it was Peter David who had Rick Jones refer to Cap dressing him up like his dead sidekick as "disturbingly necrophilic, now that I think about it."
Mick
February 5, 2007 at 12:28 am
And the Wasp escapes a beating!
Greg Burgas
February 5, 2007 at 7:04 am
You never know, Mick. Maybe Ant Man bet some weird exotic stuff on the Colts and lost. Let's hope he just bet the Colts to win!
John Seavey
February 5, 2007 at 8:40 am
Y'know, I gotta say, I'm starting to feel sorry for Hank Pym. I mean, yes, I understand, he hit his wife and that's just absolutely wrong and there's no getting around it; but the man was in the middle of a nervous breakdown, and his attack on Jan was one of many signs during that period that he was losing it and needed psychiatric help.
He got psychiatric help, he stayed clear of super-heroics until he felt like he was mentally ready to return, he's never had any problems since (as far as I know...has the non-Ultimate Hank Pym ever lashed out at Jan since he returned to the super-heroic scene in the mid-80s?) In short, his single violent outburst seems to have been a sign of a mind in the throes of trauma, and not a personality trait. And yet, everyone writes his character now as "habitual wife-beater." (And, of course, by everyone I mean Bendis and Mark Millar.) It'd be nice to see them get away from that a bit.
John Seavey
February 5, 2007 at 8:40 am
Oh, yeah, and congrats to the Colts.
Ben Herman
February 5, 2007 at 10:36 am
Too damn funny!!!
Mark
February 5, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Isn't it odd that a character can murder a truckload of people and be forgiven in three issues but Hank Pym is a pariah forever? During Peter David's first run of the Incredible Hulk, the intelligent Hulk wound up killing a priest. Not even the Vatican seemed to care.