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365 Reasons to Love Comics #78

It’s time for a bit of a palate cleanser after so much crazy awesome. In the wake of the greenest gorram* day of the year, it’s only fitting to do Green Lantern Week! Naturally, we’ll be starting with the greatest Green Lantern of them all, and my very favorite. I doubt it’s one you’ll expect.

3/19/07

78. G’Nort

Gnort 1.jpg

The Green Lantern concept is a great one: someone gifted with a “magic ring” that will do whatever they want so long as they’ve got the willpower. However, the Green Lantern concept is only as good as the character wearing the ring and how they’re portrayed by the creators. This week, I’m going to look at my favorite characters to wield the ring.

G’Nort (sometimes spelled without the apostrophe, and pronounced “Nort” rather than the more fun “Guh-Nort”) is the best Green Lantern of all time. He may seem like a complete idiot (and he is), but he’s got a heart of gold. He’s man’s best friend, dude!

Our ol’ doggie pal, full name G’Nort Esplanade G’neeschmacher, was born and raised on the dog-filled planet G’newt. They like their silent g’s, these guys. G’Nort was a patsy of an alien race in league with the Weaponeers of Qward, gifted with a fake power ring in a plan to discredit and bring down the Green Lantern Corps or something. Of course, he ended up accidentally becoming a decent superhero anyway, and became a full-fledged member of the GLC.

G’Nort was a heavy favorite of the early Gerard Jones GL run, as well as the Giffen/DeMatteis Justice League International. After all, G’Nort was a member of the best JL of all, Justice League Antarctica, along with the Injustice Gang and the Scarlet Skier.

Gnort 2.jpg

Joe Staton drew G’Nort wonderfully as a cool anthropomorphic dog creature. In his appearances in Justice League, he took on a stranger, more human shape. You can see Kevin Maguire’s take in the following panels, which also showcase G’Nort’s dimwitticism:

GNort 3.jpg

That wasn’t too bad, though. In the JLAntarctica annual, Mike McKone drew him more like a squirrel than a dog.

G’Nort had his own solo feature in Green Lantern Corps Quarterly, teamed with a young Earth woman nicknamed Sax Girl. ’cause… she played the sax. Together, they had a few adventures across the cosmos. There was the time G’Nort was turned into a human (he looked like Jughead with worse hair), and G’Nort’s Obedience School reunion, where he bit off more than he could chew with an evil flea-ridden fellow.

After Hal Jordan crushed the GLC, G’Nort, one of the survivors, ended up a member of the Darkstars. Still incompetent, he appeared in Formerly Known as the Justice League, and an alternate reality version of Godzilla-like proportions showed up in the sequel, I Can’t Believe It’s Not the Justice League. They’re fun stories. Check them out if you’re a fan of the original JLI run.

GNort 4.jpg

Has G’Nort appeared recently? I heard something about Geoff Johns killing off his entire race, but that could’ve been sarcasm. I honestly couldn’t tell.

Me, I love good ol’ G’Nort. He works as lovely comic relief, of course, but I think he’s a great character that’s relentlessly charming. Maybe he’s dumb, but by God, he cares so deeply about what he does. He puts all of his spirit and will into being a Green Lantern. He doesn’t have much will, I’m sure, but he gives it his all. But then, I’m a dog person. (And a cat person. I’m an animal person, really.) I’d rather have a G’Nort series than a Hal Jordan or even Kyle Rayner series.

Here’s a link to G’Nort’s entire history up till the late 90′s or so. Everything you ever wanted to know but were afraid to ask.

Come back tomorrow for the second-coolest GL.

*Yes, I watched all of Firefly, again, over the weekend.** Plus the movie. I am perfectly comfortable with my nerdality.

**Well, except “Safe.” It’s my least favorite and I didn’t feel like it. Don’t judge me, fanpeople!

32 Comments

If G’Nort (you gotta pronounce the G!) is today, Mogo must be tomorrow, right?

…Right?

Or Ch’p. I don’t trust any Green Lantern who isn’t furry, or at least covered in flora and fauna.

G’Nort is currently appearing in the Howard Chaykin Limited Series “Guy Gardner: Collateral Damage” His entire race was killed during the Rann-Thanagar War and he is no longer a “nice doggy”.

The Indestructible Man

March 19, 2007 at 6:08 pm

And it was Howard Chaykin who kiled off his race — in that excretable Guy Gardner prestige-format mini early this year…

Don’t you trust Kilowog, Mark?
He is EMINENTLY trustable.

G’Nort was an inspired choice. I’d go for Kyle Rayner, myself…he made Green Lantern a must-read book, and his introduction sent thousands of Hal Jordan fans on a decade-long whinefest to bring him back. Okay…I’m a little biased. Sue me.

How about Rot Lop Fan? Technically, he’s not a GL, but he was an even funkier Alan Moore creation than Mogo.

“How about Rot Lop Fan?”

He can’t show up until ‘F-Sharp Bell Week’

“His entire race was killed during the Rann-Thanagar War and he is no longer a “nice doggy”.”

So he’s grittier and more edgy? Why does that not surprise me?

You realize that if it hadn’t been for G’Nort (and to a lesser extent, the Scarlet Skier), Sue Dibny and Ted Kord would still be alive. No digg!

But I am looking forward to F-Sharp Bell. Oh, and that GL that was an entire galaxy.

G’nort is G’reat!

“G’Nort is currently appearing in the Howard Chaykin Limited Series ‘Guy Gardner: Collateral Damage’ His entire race was killed during the Rann-Thanagar War and he is no longer a ‘nice doggy’.”

Jesus. Really?

You gotta love G’Nort. But my love of JLI is so strong that I’m awfully fond of General Glory, so I probably can’t be trusted on this matter.

…which episode is “safe” again?

Rot Lop Fan the F-Sharp Bell has to be in there somewhere this week. A fantastic Alan Moore concept with some nice pencils by Bill Willingham.

…which episode is “safe” again?

The one where River and Simon are captured by the hill people and Book is wounded. It is one of the duller ones but oh my God the last four minutes are so amazingly awesome. “Man’s lookin’ to kill some folk.” “Yeah, but she’s OUR witch. Cut her down.”

…what? Yeah, I’m a big nerd. Sue me. Who do you think writes for a blog like this? Big Damn Nerds!

Maybe Julie could be talked into a Firefly weekend here, too. She loves Jayne.

Tom Fitzpatrick

March 19, 2007 at 8:29 pm

Gorram it!!!
It’s hard to trust anyone who wears green these days.

When are they making the next Serenity sequel?
Gorram it!!!

You really need to dig up that GEAT (G’nort’s Emerald Attack Team) ad that was in Wizard.

Amazingly, the first Google entry for “geat g’nort” is my blog, where I talk about that ad.

Couldn’t find a scan of it, though.

Ugh. Seriously, Bill? G’nort is your FAVORITE Green Lantern?!

Sheesh. I’m a dog person too, and I can’t stand G’nort. I was hoping to see Kilowog here. Or maybe, given your penchant for the absurd but cool, Mogo. G’nort is just absurd and stupid. And really not funny. He’s the kind of Green Lantern Mxyzptlk (sp?) would invent to annoy Hal or John, if the fifth-dimensional imp were trying to bug GL instead Supes.

THAT’S “safe”?

That was a fantastic episode!

Sorry, SHINY episode!

Now, I could understand if it was that slushy one with the sword fight.

Or the one with the irritating guy who pretended to be dead. But then I hate him because he killed Fred, so maybe I’m judging that episode too harshly.

…Sorry, what?

Oh, yeah. G’Nort. He’s cool. Not as cool as Ch’p, you understand. But then, who is?

The people are excited for MOGO.

Yeah, Kiliwog’s OK. I hear he has plenty back hair.

Him and Kyle.

Oh, and I just remembered: in the first of the 80-Page Giants in the 90s, he managed to tree Catman. And yet, Thomas Blake continues not being good enough for Monseuir Mallah to eat to be the absolute low point of his life.

Okay, so I was bored and watched “Safe” tonight. I hope you’re all happy. Hah.

As for g’rim and g’ritty G’Nort– bah.

I totally guessed G’Nort! Ooh I feel an odd sense of pride. I luv him very much so, the JLAnt is probably my fav annual of all time.

Oh and I don’t even remember any Firefly episodes besides Jaynestown and how they all became the crew. They all kind of blur together :/

“Safe”…yeah. You watch it for the ending, but oh, what an ending. “Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?” “Big Damn Heroes, sir.” “Ain’t we just.”

And, of course, the moment that defines the series…

“You don’t even like me. Why did you come back?”
“You’re on my crew. Why we still talking about this?”

As for the Green Lanterns (what, it’s impossible to not talk a little about ‘Firefly’ once the topic is introduced), I think it’d be criminal to leave out Jack T. Chance, who had the best Green Lantern oath ever. “Come one, come all, put up a fight–I’ll pound yer butts with Green Lantern’s light!”

Also, y’know, Mogo, but let’s face it…I don’t need to tell you to do Mogo. Because he’s freaking MOGO.

It’s got to be ten or fifteen years since I’ve seen G’Nort but I still call my wedding ring “ringading”

That’s the G’Nort influence right there!

The Kirbydotter

March 20, 2007 at 11:21 am

I love G’Nort!
Is it true that he’s dead???
DC is killing all the members of Giffen and DeMatteis Justice League!
Ice is dead.
Bleu Beetle is dead.
Max was turned (in a stupid way too) evil and is now dead.
I head that G’nort is dead.

That leaves Booster Gold (with a new series he’s pretty safe… for the time being…), Green Flame (unless she’s dead and no one told me), Martian Manhunter, and Guy Gardner from the regular cast.

Superman, Captain Marvel, Batman, Barda and Mister Miracle were pretty much occasional ‘supporting cast’.

I was just talking about G’Nort the other day. His original concept (nephew of a hotshot GL who only got his ring out of nepotism) is just so friggin’ brilliant. It’s almost a shame he ever appeared again.

G’nort is still alive. Do not bother with the Howard Chaykin episode, I am trying to convince myself that it is completely out of continuity and nothing more than an “Elseworlds” tale. G’nort was NOT meant to be grim and gritty.

G’nort is one of my favorites too, as is Kilowog–which I see you featured as well.

My other favorites are Alan Scott & Driq–I can understand if you leave out Driq–and also understand if he pops up, but Alan Scott can only be skipped on a technicality as to his Green Lantern-ness.

And then there’s the retcon that G’Nort and his uncle were just fake GLs working for a bunch of clown-like aliens, only for G’Nort to be let into the real Corps after “helping” Guy Gardner defeat said clown E.T.s

FunkyGreenJerusalem

March 23, 2007 at 11:24 pm

“I luv him very much so, the JLAnt is probably my fav annual of all time.”

I wish there was a JLAnt.

Maybe he was an insect that came up to the Satellite on someone’s boot, and due to prolonged exposure to all their powers and some other cosmic shit, he got powers and an extended life and a uniform.
If I wrote the Atom, that’s who he’d meet. Slowly I’d push up JLAnt’s role more and more until an issue like 25 or 50 came along, at which point JLAnt would eat the Atom and take over the book as Atom Ant or something.
It would be a fun and well remembered book, that future editor would get embarrased by, and be forced to bring him back from Limbo and have him eaten by Viki Vale’s child molesting father or something, until the internet outrage had him brought back as a teenage girl.

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