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The problem with your proposal, Greg, is that it's long-term and slow boil, and Marvel wants immediate and explosive. If they took this idea to the suits and said it was guaranteed to raise sales astronomically eight quarters from now, all they'd get back in return was "Fuck you, I've got stockholders breathing down my neck *now*."

I'm not saying you're wrong about it being a better idea artistically, but it'd never fly.

Wasn't Senator Kelly's wife actually killed in a superhuman brawl?

really?

you know, I think you should go back and read some Marvel books from the years preceeding Civil War so you can see how it all panned out. I would suggest:

Fantastic Four - Authoritive Action
Avengers disassembled
Secret War
Young Avengers - Sidekicks
Captain America - Winter Solider 1
New Avengers - Breakout
New Avengers - Sentry
New Warriors - reality show (or whatever that newest NW series was called)
House of M
Road to Civil War

All in that order. That's a good two years of build-up to the environment that was at the begining of CW.

Also, you might want to try actually reading the story for yourself. It might help you from putting your foot in your mouth again.

Yes, she was. Uncanny X-Men #281. Not a good thing, to be a female ancillary character in the Marvel U.

I know that the "suits" might not approve, Michael, but I wonder how much DC cut into Marvel's dominance in the market with Infinite Crisis, which Civil War was kind of a panicked reaction to (Joey Q has kind of admitted as much). Marvel still does better business, I think, so this seems just like a bit of freaking out. I could be wrong.

Actually, that was in UXM #147. And why write an epic post evaluating a comic you haven't read? How long does it take to read a comic book?

Whoops, make that UXM #247. Sorry.

Thanks, Matt! I'm not really sure what the compulsion is for people to be such dicks when they disagree with someone, but whatever.

If you really think that Joey Q had it that together to plan that whole thing, be my guest. Yes, we could go back twenty-five years and "prove" that Marvel was leading up to this all along. As I mentioned repeatedly, Marvel did this with mutants in the 1980s. However, what I'm saying is that after Avengers: Disassembled, if the Act had been passed, that would have made much more sense. Then all that other stuff would have made more sense. I've read a good amount of what you listed, and most of it seems like ... superheroes punching bad guys! That's pretty revolutionary.

Marvel has always had superheroes causing major property damage. But I don't think it was part of any master plan. I was just suggesting something different. If you think Civil War is the greatest piece of comic book literature since Fantastic Four #1, that's fine. But there's no need to be an asshole about it.

I've read many of those series/arcs that Matt J mentions and they don't even come close to the kind of build up that Burgas has suggested. They have little or nothing to do with the main (or even minor) plot points of CW.

Listen Greg, I really didn't intend on coming across as an asshole, it just really gets me when fans make half baked claims without reading the books they're complaining about. Call it a pet peeve. Worse was your accusation that Civil War came out of nowhere, and didn't have any buildup. Allow me to explain my list, as to why they're more than just 'superheroes punching badguys'.

Fantastic Four - Authoritive Action And Hereafter
-Alright, so a added a book here to really solidify the point. AA was all about Reed going up against the gov't, and in doing so losing everything he cares deeply about. His best friend got killed, his wife left him and took the kids, and Reed was left a shell of a man. I would use this as a major reason for him going with the SHRA.

Avengers disassembled
- This one's pretty obvious. It's where the major seeds of discontent with the populace begin to be planted. But I disagree that it'd be enough to really get any kind of registration passed. Really, to use Roy, why would any care that much if a bunch of heroes fought each other and the only casualties are other heroes?

Secret War
- Honestly, I still haven't read this. I think it's important though because it starts the distrust in SHEILD, and is why Fury goes underground.

Young Avengers - Sidekicks
- Cap and Iron Man try to stop these kids from becoming heroes and doing something stupid. Tony's actions here are a reflection of what he says in both The Illuminati one shot and the Confession.

Captain America - Winter Solider 1
- Philly gets blown up in a super-terrorist attack. It's something they mention in CW1, and helps that seed of discontent grow. Suddenly it's not just NYC that gets massive property damage

New Avengers - Breakout
- Aside from the creation of a new team, the idea of a flawed SHEILD organization is furthered. Plus the break out itself probably adds to those seeds of discontent amongst the civilians.

New Avengers - Sentry
- Again, just to echo tony's statements later about keeping an eye on the young and inexperienced heroes. it shows that he's been thinking about it for a while.

New Warriors - reality show (or whatever that newest NW series was called)
- for obvious reasons. This is another I have yet to read, but I can see the importance of it.

House of M
- well, maybe not all of house of M, because it's terrible, but totally the fallout from it. The idea that all of a sudden thousands (millions?) of mutants suddenly lost their powers, kinda strikes home the point that no one is safe from these superheroes. Assuming our Roy isn't a bigot, that might be something to make him care.

Road to Civil War
- And the offical ramp up where the legislation is introduced and tries to go through, but ultimately stalls when no good admissable eviendence is presented for either side. That is, of course, until the start of CW1.

The reason why I appricate Civil War so much is because it doesn't seem like some premeditated ending point, but rather a natural progression of what has been happening. Further, your suggestions in your article seem to be wanting things that marvel already did, you just didn't read.

Tried to write a comment three times and blithered on at excessive length, so bullet points:

1) I agree with most of what you're saying. I read CW and all the associated crossovers and I spent a lot of time having my disbelief unsuspended by characters acting without motivation or completely out of character.

2) Perhaps I'm being too nitpicky, but as someone that has worked in law and government, passage and enforcement was entirely unrealistic. Yeah, I know...capes, flying, etc., aren't necessarily associated with a high standard of realism. In the real world, though, there would have been court challenges and injunctions and all that stuff that keeps me in comic books. The way it was presented: law passed, for it/against it, government agent or fugitive.

3) One area of disagreement: in our world, the Patriot Act has a minimal daily effect for most. In the MU, with capes saving the world on a daily basis, I wonder if the guys in Des Moines would care. I get the impression that the sheer level of superhuman activity in the MU probably means it has more of an impact.

(Wow, I am such a nerd. Sorry to blather on).

People speak in hushed tones about Secret War? The old one? I mean it was okay and all...

I might speak in hushed tones about Secret War II, e.g. "Joseph, don't you ever tell a soul I own this comic..."

If you think Marvel was intentionally laying the seeds for Civil War as early as 2002, I've got a bridge in Asgard I'd like to sell you.

My own retake on Civil War was aimed at keeping Mark Millar's idea that "the right side won" by actually, well, making them the right side at the finale.

It starts with the Stamford explosion, except that it's not the SHRA that passes...it's that the moral panic over superheroes that results has normal people trying to kill, say, Spider-Man whenever he stops a mugger and a domestic terrorist group setting off a bomb at Stark Enterprises. By the end of issue #1, Iron Man's worst fears are realized as the President declares martial law. Maria Hill, who's already jumped the gun trying to give Cap an ultimatum, issues a "draft-em-or-detain-em" policy and gives SHIELD officers a "necessary killing" waiver for field operations.

There's a massive summit at a secret Avengers hideaway, blocked entirely from scanners, and convened by Tony Stark and Reed Richards, the men who developed the technology to hide the supers. Tony and Reed advocate that everyone join up with Hill for the sake of avoiding battles with the public. Spider-Man protests that Hill is demanding full disclosure, and he's already had relatives in danger. SHIELD troops are seen rounding up and in some cases gunning down minor heroes who didn't or couldn't make it. The GLA are the first to be drafted, finally believing they can attain legitemacy despite Mr. Immortal's misgivings about hunting the Avengers. Captain America turns up late to the meeting to tell his story; then Tony drops the bomb -- he and Reed have already disclosed to SHIELD, and told them of this meeting. "It's for the best; go along with the madness for now or you'll be fighting the public." Naturally a brawl erupts, and SHIELD dives in as it does. Spider-Man escapes, but is horrified at the carnage and mistrust he sees, as well as by a little girl who shrieks and nearly dies trying to run from him as he flees. Cap naturally rallies the more ardent anti-drafters and flees, already planning his army. Reed and Tony get congrats from Hill, but they're clearly uneasy; both of them had hoped they could convince the super community.

And there the war begins in earnest; Iron Man commandeers SHIELD troops in the field, trying to limit the violence. Reed works ojn power nullification tech for the government. And Spider-Man, after talking to May and MJ, realizes that the people need to see that superheroes are just guys like him, regular joes who happen to have powers. He turns himself in, and Tony -- over Hill's more militarist plans -- convinces the President to let himself and Peter do a press conference aimed at convincing supers and calming the nation. Elsewhere, eager villains are turning themselves in so as to extract their own vengeances; the Kingpin fumes in his jail cell that his lack of powers means he can't take advantage of the draft.

In an intercut battle, Cap's guerilla tactics do surprisingly well against SHIELD, all while the press conference is going on and Peter, narrating, is having severe second thoughts. Reed is attempting to coordinate SHIELD alongside some other drafted heroes, but he's just not the tactician Cap is. Hill keeps asking for clearance to use something Reed and Tony developed, something behind a massive "do not open" door. Norman Osborn signs up with SHIELD, grinning as the President and Stark speak and having worked out already what's to come with Spider-Man. Hill finally gets her clearance, since Cap's army of anti-draft heroes is actually inflaming the situation nationwide, and the war is in the streets. Clor appears out of the blue, and murders Black Goliath in front of the crowds with SHIELD sanctions. And the news of this reaches Peter seconds after he's unmasked himself and walked off-stage.

Peter's turn is met with glee by Norman, anger by Hill and the President, and fear by Stark and Reed. Sue Storm and her brother also bail, and the Thing heads for France. Stark's efforts to use a secret channel he'd kept open for Cap meet with no success, since Cap is no longer listening. Cap's side starts to recruit villains so long as they've never murdered, but one of them, the Goldbug, is a mole for SHIELD. Clor is being "fixed" by Reed and Tony, and Hill is ashamed at having used him and wary of what he represents, but a rage-stoked public consensus over Cap's actions means that support for his deployment is at 90% approval ratings. Spider-Man makes a break for it, forcing a confrontation with Tony and Reed in the lab, where he's discovered Clor. The fight is brutal, and SHIELD techs unleash Osborn and the villains when it becomes clear that Tony won't use lethal force. Spidey is battered almost unto death, but saved by Cap in the sewers...at the cost of Cap himself, who takes a SHIELD bullet or two and is captured. And the Punisher, hearing this news, decides things aren't right...

Punisher turns up at anti-draft HQ and reveals that a corrupt Fed he'd killed told him about "42," the super-prison. He also guns down Goldbug and the other villains; he's taking command. Another brawl erupts over whether to follow Frank or not, with som wanting a war and others refusing. Hill has been informed by the president that her job is going to someone else as soon as the crisis settles, on the grounds that she's using villains and causing deaths. She tries to argue that she was following his directives, but he flatly tells her that "my directives changed when that Thor creature killed a man on national television." The non-Punisher rebels decide to storm 42 and get Cap out. Stark and Reed prepare to resist their jailbreak plan. And the Punisher lays low and tries to work out how to make it all work.

Spider-Man recovers, Stark plans, Reed grieves the loss of his family, and the drafted heroes have second and third thoughts but soldier on. Then there's a battle royale at 42 thanks to anti-draftee Cloak, as all sides converge. Feint and counterfeint occur, with scores being settled and new ones being developed. And just as the draftees and SHIELD are about to win, the Punisher turns up with his smaller force, having used a reprogrammed Super-Adaptoid (courtesy of the Young Avengers' Vision) to mimic Cloak and follow the heroes. The battle gets still wilder...and all combatants are dumped in Times Square by the unpredictable interaction of two sets of Cloak powers.

The war rages; Clor is unleashed by Hill, but he's even less in control, and starts randomly blitzing people until Hercules, incensed, pulps him. Stark and Spidey trade rhetoric and shots. A wounded Cap, horrified at the carnage, punks the Punisher and tries to charge in, but he's too weak. A mob turns up trying to join the fight, and some heroes try to avoid harming them while others don't care. A horrified Cap weeps and bleeds at the sideline, unable to stand. Finally, Iron Man receives word from Reed that "it worked" and makes an announcement that stops the fighting.

A deal has been brokered a registration act with full confidentiality, but also mandatory training, licensing, and deployment. It's a harder version of the SHRA he presented to the Illuminat before the Stamford crisis, and it's Cap's armed resistance that harshed the original deal Stark and Reed had been working on. Under the lousier deal, Stark gets SHIELD command from Hill as a gesture of trust to the hero community, but the government will keep a force of its own superhumans -- the Thunderbolts -- as a civilian-controlled force "just in case" with Norman Osborn heading it. A shamed Cap refuses the amnesty; most of the other heroes take it; the New Avengers characters refuse it because of the 'Bolts and because of sheer distrust and horror, and Iron Man lets them leave, promising that he'll "hunt you down and enforce the new law humanely." The Punisher slips away, vowing to do to villains what neither the heroes nor the government seem willing to do. And from there we basically have the same ending, except this time Stark and Reed actually look like relatively sane visionaries.

How in the hell can you blog about something that you haven't read? For the people wondering why the mainstream population doesn't take "bloggers" seriously need to read no further than this tantrum given wasted bandwidth.

Dudes, you all have it totally wrong. Those are not how it should have gone. As a comic book blogger, it is my sacred and sworn duty to spend my time rewriting stories I didn't like and/or bother to read. This much we all know. But I bet you didn't know I was the best at it . . .ever.

It would all start out with something really awesome happening. I'm not sure what. But it would be huge and a lot of people would be, like, "WHOA" and "HOLY SHIT!!!" and that would be just page 2. Cap A would be pretty shook up about it. Oh, I know. Captain Marvel/Photon/black woman explodes. Completely explodes. Mainstream comics love killing women, but mainstream media love killing black folks first. So we've already got a crossover hit on our hands. Also I hate her.

So anyway Cap A is pretty shook up about this. He goes to Falcon's house so that Falcon can do him, like he always does when he's shook up. Falcon is a gentle lover with kisses like feathers. But then an evil Senator Villain leaks footage of the caresses and anal sex to the press. The press reports on it like crazy, trying to act like they think it's not a big deal that a black dude is doing Captain America in the butt but you can totally tell they really think it is a big deal. Nobody wants to say anything directly and be labelled a racist, so they decide to go for the homophobic angle. So Demon Slayer, that horrible Christian character that fought Dr. Strange is all pissed off! He's saying lots of bad things on TV about Cap and Falcon being gay and everything. And everyone else is super afraid to come on TV and fight him (verbally) because when they were growing up everyone thought they were gay, too. This is especially true for Peter Parker who decides to reveal his identity as a model-fucker.

Aquarian tries to say something nice but nobody cares because he's a hippie. Iron Man says that everyone should reveal if they are gay or not and tell the truth so that it will seem like a not big deal. But not everyone wants to do this! So they beat each other up and some more black folks die, maybe a white girl too. No Asians though, cause I'm not sure how that plays.

Near the end, everyone is super pissed off and about to hurt each other and Cap and Falcon broke up over the stress. And then there's a bright light and everyone looks real surprised and kind of happy but kind of scared.

And The Punisher's the first person to remember to speak and he says "POPEYE!" and sure enough it's Popeye. And Popeye just says "I yam what I yam," beats up some female villains and then walks off. Then everyone goes off to think about what they learned.

The end.

I'm not sure if Marvel could get the rights to Popeye, Joe. Other than that, I like that scenario a lot.

Matt - Those are pretty good examples, although I still think it just happened to work out, because a lot of what is in those various stories is what we've seen from Marvel with regard to their superheroes for years. To use one of your examples, in Young Avengers, it's simply Cap and Iron Man expressing their fears about children being superheroes, not necessarily untrained people. I think that story would have worked better if the Act was already in place, but that's just me. Marvel HAS plenty of "distrust of superheroes" in their history to make it more likely that an Act would pass. But I still very much doubt if they were laying the groundwork for this for the past few years. I honestly can't remember where I read it, but Joey Q said he gave McNiven such a short lead time because of Infinite Crisis.

I wasn't really aware that this was a "tantrum." I thought it was pretty reasonable. And should I worry about the "mainstream" population taking bloggers seriously? The mainstream population has made American Idol the top-rated television show of the decade, so maybe they need to worry about themselves.

Popeye transcends copywrite. This would also set up the awesome Fantagraphics/Marvel crossover where Marvel donates all their profits for a year to support Fantagraphics in their fight to save the first amendment from Harlan Ellison.

For the people wondering why the mainstream population doesn’t take “bloggers” seriously

Do people honestly wonder about that?

Interesting post Greg. I agree that there should have been more 'simmering'. Which is why I'm actually looking forward to World War Hulk. This 'event' has been in the offing for over a year now. Greg Pak has slowly brought all the pieces into place so that if you've been reading Hulk you literally know that he is going to beat the living crap out of every single member of the Illuminati. And that is awesome.

Great post, but one question. Why do I keep seeing references to how huge Civil War was for Marvel? I thought I saw somewhere (Wizard, maybe?) that they were selling 400,000 copies per issue. If that is considered huge, mainstream comics are dying. 20 years ago, if Marvel released a huge event that only sold 400,000 copies, people would getting canned, not congratulated.

For all I know, the FBI could be tapping my phone, but they haven’t broken down my door yet.

I'm always baffled by such comments. It isn't the point that they haven't done it yet, the point is that they could legally do it when they want to.

"Why should I care if they've created an atomic bomb, it's not like they're using it."

Boom.

Greg, I haven't read Civil War yet but I think this is one long-ass post considering you haven't either.

It was actually under 300,000 copies, I heard (at least on a per issue basis...CW #7, IIRC, sold about 260,000.) And yes, two decades ago those would have been firing numbers. Now they're the best the industry can do.

My problem with Civil War can be summed up in Tony Stark's press conference. "Yes, everyone, I am really Iron Man! Now, I'll be in charge of super-hero registration, and--"

"Mister Stark, didn't you just say two months ago that you were giving up being Iron Man for good, because that was what made you get drunk and threaten to shoot the Latverian Ambassador?"

"Um, yes. I was lying. Now, super-hero registration is--"

"So have you been lying all those other times you've claimed someone else was Iron Man?"

"Most of them, yes. Now, Captain America is a very bad--"

"When Iron Man killed the criminal known as Spymaster, was that you?"

"Um......Registration is good."

"What about when you claimed that a 'malfunction' in Iron Man's armor caused him to kill another diplomat? Was that true? Or did you get drunk, kill a man, and lie about it?"

"No comment."

"And what about the CEO of Stane Industries? He 'committed suicide' by repulsor blast the day before you bought out his company."

"This press conference is over."

Good post with a lot of good points, although I'll argue against two things. You said you think a lot of people would have to die for Cap ot consider quiting. My own opinion of his character is that it would only take one of his friends dying by his action or inaction to really rattle him and at least make him consider quitting. But that's just my opinion, and you know what they say about opinions and ass-holes.
Also X-cutioners Song is one of my favorite cross-overs ever. It had a lot of great art and at the time, some very important plot points. My opinion may be biased, as it was also the first crossover I ever bought, so there's that. Civil war will probably be remembered on the internet as an Onslught level mistake, but fondly remembered by regular readers.
The point brought up earlier that Marvel would never do it because it's long-term and slow boil, and Marvel wants immediate and explosive I think is valid. I know personally I'm feeling the crossover burn out and plan to sit out World War Hulk, DC Countdown, and the X men event. Just take a year off, catch up on old stuff and indies and other decent Marvel and DC books. There's a lot of good stuff out there with out getting into the crossovers. Remember, if you don't like something, stop reading it.

Let me tell you how I would've done this post. I didn't read it, but here's how I would've done it:

I would've gone into the bathroom, careful to lock the door, lotioned up, and let loose into the turlet. After I got finished with that, I would've had my fill of sad masturbation and I would've saved myself a lot of time and typing.

I'd like to say that I don't deserve that burn that Joe Rice posted...but I really can't. So instead I'll just shout "BOSH!" really loudly and feel kind of embarrassed about my earlier post.

And The Punisher’s the first person to remember to speak and he says “POPEYE!” and sure enough it’s Popeye.

Dude.

DUDE.

"mainstream comics are dying"

Duh?

This post seems to really have struck a nerve in some die hard Civil War fans. I didn't know that humorless fans of Civil War actually checked out this blog. Interesting.

How to fix Civil War?

More Godzilla.

Any Godzilla, as a matter of fact.

How to fix Civil War?

More Godzilla.

Any Godzilla, as a matter of fact.

Godzilla is so excellent he must be mentioned twice! Perhaps he'll show up in World War Hulk. On second thought, Joey Q couldn't be that awesome, could he?

A little off topic, but it doesn't cost $10k to run for congress. Try $1m (if you want to win).

"Let me tell you how I would’ve done this post. I didn’t read it, but here’s how I would’ve done it:

I would’ve gone into the bathroom, careful to lock the door, lotioned up, and let loose into the turlet. After I got finished with that, I would’ve had my fill of sad masturbation and I would’ve saved myself a lot of time and typing."

Yeah...nice post there Paul. Or should we call you by your real name... Mark Millar!!!!

Joe Rice said:
"...where Marvel donates all their profits for a year to support Fantagraphics in their fight to save the first amendment from Harlan Ellison."
-----
It's not a First Amendment lawsuit.

But you probably already knew that.

“mainstream comics are dying”

Duh?

This post seems to really have struck a nerve in some die hard Civil War fans. I didn’t know that humorless fans of Civil War actually checked out this blog. Interesting.

So, veghead, did you actually have a point, or were you just trying to be a standard internet jackass?

The sentence you quoted from my was specifically addressing how darn low the sales numbers are - the big event of 2007 couldn't match the sales numbers for regular books from 20 years ago.

So, no nerve was struck with me in Greg's post, I'm not a Civil War fan (didn't read or buy any of it), I'm not particularly invested in it because I don't follow anything in the main Marvel Universe. My only point was that I just think it's sad that the comics market is shrinking so drastically.

I like your premise, but spending two years or so in the Marvel universe building up to the Civil War mini-series would've been boring as you detail, not to mention it would've been awful to hear all the folks complaining about the slow pace online after a while. As other posters have mentioned, the tracks were already laid down in other titles -- they just weren't connected well enough to achieve the impact you described.

That said, I think Marvel did a good enough job with Civil War's build-up and execution. It wasn't perfect, but darned if it wasn't entertaining.

By the way, this quote made me laugh out loud. "I think (Civil War) could have been an excellent examination of the superhero ethos and could have shed new light on what makes someone a hero. What did we get instead? Lloyd Bentsen references and Captain America acting surprised when Frank Castle acts like a psychopath. Good job, Marvel." Ha!

Have a good day.
John Cage

How in the hell can you blog about something that you haven’t read? For the people wondering why the mainstream population doesn’t take “bloggers” seriously need to read no further than this tantrum given wasted bandwidth.

You didn't even read the post, did you?

Sometimes, I am depressed about the comics industry. This is one of those times. Not your fault, Greg or Omar... but some of these replies are disheartening.

Sigh.

It would have been really cool if the Civil War had been planned long in advance and simmered for quite some time. I like those comments that hearkened back to the mutants in the 80s Marvel. Or, remember The Scourge of the Underworld? That story took a full year to resolve, and the build was just a few panels here and there in 12 different titles until it really took off in Captain America. That's the way to do things.

Well, there really isn't a "cranky old bitter hack trying to litigate his embarrassment" amendment.

More Godzilla's a good start.

Also less superheroes.

For instance no superheroes.

And more chickens.

Godzilla vs. 100,000,000 chickens.

I'd buy it.

"So, veghead, did you actually have a point, or were you just trying to be a standard internet jackass?

The sentence you quoted from my was specifically addressing how darn low the sales numbers are - the big event of 2007 couldn’t match the sales numbers for regular books from 20 years ago.

So, no nerve was struck with me in Greg’s post, I’m not a Civil War fan (didn’t read or buy any of it), I’m not particularly invested in it because I don’t follow anything in the main Marvel Universe. My only point was that I just think it’s sad that the comics market is shrinking so drastically. "

My first comment was aimed at you. I was agreeing with your statement, but in a jackasserly way to indicate that it's pretty well known already. My second comment was aimed at other commentors, not you. I tried to indicate that by skipping a line, but could've made it more clear, you're right. I prefer to think of myself as a standard internet jackass penguin. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackass_penguin

For the folks (well, the one guy) claiming that there's evidence for long-term Civil War planning, I thought I would point out the fact that originally it was going to be the Marvel superheroes vs. SHIELD, primarily springing from the pages of New Avengers. So whatever possible long-term planning that was being done for *that* particular event was probably thrown out the window the second Mark Millar said, "Mm, y'know, it'd be cool if Iron Man and Captain America duked it out for realz!" Any other semblance of planning, I assume, is coincidental.

And man, I think some long-term planning would have done WONDERS for Civil War. But alas, it's more of a DC thing...

-M

I can't believe they never just outright published, for reader's benefit, the Superhero Registration Act.

"I prefer to think of myself as a standard internet jackass penguin."

Invoking the total awesomeness of penguins seems unfair - how can anyone maintain the proper degree of irritation required for Internet communication when you do that?