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Ah, freak out!

Le freak, c’est chic!

Freak out!

Is this where Im supposed to scream and beat my chest and threaten to leave comics forever because someone at Marvel is raping my childhood by (maybe reportedly) doing something stupid? Should I post my insane rants on every comics-related message board? Should I Google-map Joe Quesada’s house and go camp out in his yard with a FREE MJ sign?

Or should I just go read SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE with my daughter, secure in the knowledge that it and the MARVEL ADVENTURES books — the only Marvel books we read — are completely outside whatever passes for “mainstream” continuity these days?

Why anyone freaks out about these things is completely beyond me. If it sounds stupid, then just don’t read it. Or do, and just roll with the stupidity. They’re comic books, people. They’re entertainment. If they make you this upset, why read ‘em in the first place?

Quesada! Childhood! Rape! And so forth.

I’m imagining this glorious fight scene with Armless Tiger Man wherein Mary Jane utters her famous “face it” line after being struck.

“The Jackpot” has its own title logo in the image I’m imagining, if that helps.

SUNDAY
SUNDAY
SUNDAY

JACKPOT VS IRON AUNT MAY!

BE THERE!

Oddly, my main reaction is “I had this idea two years ago.” Minus the Initiative part.

Upon hearing this rumor, Paul Jenkins announced his new mini series, “Jackpot Frontline”. In it, the Black Panther will put her in a headlock and everyone gets mad.

Dude we can finally get that MJ solo spinoff starring Kristen Dunst that the fans have been clamoring for.

I heard from a very reliable source that May Parker will develope a gender-bending power to become. . . The Amazing Auntman (warning: this lame joke does not work with Boston pronunciation of “aunt”).

She sure does, but the whole issue plays like an out-of-continuity thing. It’s very, very goofy.

Upon hearing this rumor, Paul Jenkins announced his new mini series, “Jackpot Frontline”. In it, the Black Panther will put her in a headlock and everyone gets mad.

That’s only logical after Reginald Hudlin already clearly established in the main “Jackpot” title that she is the smartest, fastest, strongest, bestest character in the entire Marvel Universe.

Holy Poo!
Derek B. Hass remembers Armless Tiger Man….
Best Villain Ever!

Marvel doing something really stupid that will permanently damage a character? I’ll believe it when I see it.

Sadly, I doubt i’d enjoy whatever they’re got planned for One More Day as much as I would a story so goofy.

If that rumour’s true, I think it’d be awesome. I mean, not as the permanent new status quo or anything, but it would be fun for a while. Lois Lane and Lana Lang used to go through goofy transformations all the time, and it didn’t permanently ruin either of those characters.

Of course, the rumour probably isn’t true, and if it is, it probably doesn’t affect the MU, so whatever.

I have read the book (don’t ask how) and Jackpot makes all of a two page appearance. She looks like Mary Jane and says “Anytime, Tiger” as Spidey swings off. But other than that, there is no mention of her being a superhero (or actually being Mary Jane, for that matter).

The issue reads like something out of continuity. Nobody seems to know Spidey is Peter, Aunt May is spry and moving around, and Spidey is in his red and blue costume. So the tale either takes place in the past or not in continuity at all.

Will, the comic is obviously set after the reset button is pressed in JMS’s last arc on Amazing. Given how that was pushed back by Civil War’s delays, it’s a preview of things to come.

MY LCS somehow got hold of a few copies last week and slipped one in my box…yeah, the story is totally out of continuity–more Marvel Adventures than anything else.