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It looks cute and the art has a nice style, but I don't see why this is at all new or worth making paper. You lost me at "super powers."

That *is* a cool idea, and I wish you the best of luck with it! Have you pulled a Grant Morrison and plotted it out to issue #63, and if so, do you see it pulling in the direction of connected storylines or the revelation of the source of the powers, how who gets what, for how long, and why it's temporary? I'm curious to see how you could avoid these things without repeating yourself (this issue's theme: people with fire powers, *again*!).

You know, I could see in a world where people had powers but only for a few hours or days that people would occasionally form flash mobs to accomplish any number of goals. Maybe the Army would offer a $1,000,000 signing bonus for a one day tour of duty if you had x, y, and z powers. Hmm. Where can I order this title?

My bad: I conflated the author of the post with the author of the comic. Doh!

not a bad premise, but (a) it's super powers and (b) neither the pitch nor the sample suggest any story I might want to read. The sample is especially bad as it reiterates the premise and then teases a story about an unemployed man gaining super-strength. So what? All I get from that sample is that both the writing and the storytelling are rather rough around the edges (p.1, bottom left, man screams first, then falls; "Damn Job ..." expository monologue in front of the bathroom mirror on the last page) but not what they're going to be like theamatically. Which is pretty ill-considered not to say dumb if the idea is to deliver roughly 7 pages per story. If that's the plan, a pitch should include on full story, not just one setup.
On top of that, the premise seems poorly thought out as there is no reason to label the superpowered people "victims".
They are not, unless the get careless with their powers. Which, given that most of them will know about their temporary nature, a substantial proportion of them wont be. The difference between "temporary superstrength" and "packing a crowbar" isn't that big under those circumstances.
That's not to say there aren't intersting stories to be written about superpowers messing with people's lives; the pedant in crime fiction uses always the same "power", a gun, and got a lot out of it. However, with regard to monthly publication there's (a) the minor problem of often having the arrival of the powers coincide with potentially dramatic life circumstance which might feel contrived after a while and the gigantic problem of (b) trying to sell a series without a clear central theme* and constant cast/protagonist. That's ludicruous.
In short, a not very good idea and an absoltely horrible pitch. As it is, I'm confident it wouldn't sell at all.

* the premise as given is about as clear as "boy meats girl", 3 times an issue.

And let me tell you “boy meats girl” isn't clear at all!

Love the art, but the whole super powers thing in an ordinary world, it doesnt sell me anymore. From this pitch, if I were a big publisher I would pass.

I would say to Stillwell, "Don't listen to all the armchair experts, especially the ones who say they're turned off by 'super heroes.'" It sounds like he wants to write stories about people, plain and simple. I love the concept and think it has legs (as long as they don't introduce some shadowy government/private group trying to use the REVs for their own insidious plans).

That’s the premise of Jackpot. Ordinary folks gifted with extraordinary powers, making hard choice. Not everyone will be a good person. Not all choices will be smart ones.

...and then NBC put it on TV, and called it 'Heroes'.

I mean, clearly there's still a lot of interest in the idea of RL superpowers. It's just that one suspects the niche has already been filled. (For sure the 'ordinary people get an extraordinary chance' premise has been, arguably all the way back to 'It's a Wonderful Life' and working up through 'Touched By an Angel')

The only way I could see this working is if it featured really, really strong and clever character development...and I'm not seeing that from the panels above. Sorry.

The premise is rather standard by now (see: Demo, newuniversal, Heroes, and on and on ad infinitum), but the twist--limiting the abilities to a few hours with disastrous consequences--is clever enough. I wish the sample pages included some of the promised fallout from the Powers for a Limited Time Only angle, though. That aspect, I think, would sell the title and distinguish it from the glut of similar series.

Problems with the pitch aside, I'd absolutely pick up the book for the Ryan Cody art. That man's got talent galore.

I think there are too many similarities to Heroes and Faust.

I'd add The 4400 as another example of the "ordinary folks suddenly getting super-powers" subgenre. And in scientific terms, as well as aesthetically, the phrase "Random Evolution Victims" doesn't work for me at all.

If I were an editor seeing this, I'd pass on this...but I would sit down with Tom and Ryan and work with them on developing a new book in its place. These guys could do a book I'd really want to read.

It reminds me of a less militaristic, more optimistic version of Strikeforce Morituri.

I think the idea of a shadowy cabal granting powers to normal citizens (and being able to take them away at a whim) has been done to death lately, especially with the Lex Luthor's Infinity Inc. in 52 and the Champions concept in the Initiative. I like the idea of this possibly being "random evolution", but I agree with the characterization comments. There needs to be something that keeps me reading and makes me care about the fate of these characters, in three pages I'm not seeing that, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for it.

And let me tell you “boy meats girl” isn’t clear at all!

Of course it's clear. We call it "porn."

Anyway, as for the pitch, I don't think it's written too well. You want to clearly get across your premise, set-up, and theme. You don't want to say you got the idea from watching a show on FOX. It doesn't help that the premise is similar to Heroes or whatnot, but the "temporary" twist does give it a bit of a hook.

The art is gorgeous, though. You've got that going for you.

I really like the idea but the art kinda threw me, expected something less cartoonish for such a serious sounding plot.

Ah, the old "Ah, the old ..." dialogue.

So the guy needs money, gets super powers, and he's gonna (just a guess) use the super powers to try and steal the money, temporarily of course -- and with the motif-appropriate "I'll pay it back" idea which is mentioned twice in two pages -- and then, at a certain point, his powers run out during his criminal activities?

I like that he's wearing a Marty McFly life preserver vest.

The pitch makes no sense; they're called "victims", but then the guy writing it goes on to explain that he doesn't buy that they're victims, that people are in control of it if they want to be. Seems contradictory. I also disagree with his logic there, as if money can't help alcoholics or, for that matter, people with poor money management.

"On an Earth without superheroes"

It's just like Earth, only there are *no* superheroes! None at all!

"This can be a very popular book if handled properly."

I actually agree, but I think that neither this writer nor this artist can handle it properly.

i think theres enough there to sustain my interest for a couple of months. The problem is if none of the stories are related, why do i need to buy it every month? cant i just drop it and pick it up when my budget allows, knowing that the story is still the same. Thats great for a casual reader, but crap for a publisher.

Posting the pitch here is a pretty novel idea, I like it. And yeah, it's brave of Stillwell and Cody to post their embryonic work here for criticism, because the CSBG crowd is obviously not easy to please. Cody's a damn fine artist, too, and seemed like a nice guy when I interviewed him about 'Villains' a ways back.

I agree that there's a bit of a 'Heroes' vibe going on here, but then, 'Heroes' hardly invented super powers, and the similarity could work to their advantage- maybe try pitching it to Boom Studios, which has marketed a few of its books by comparing them to TV shows?

On the plus side, I thought the coloring was very well done, and I like the opening page and cover.

There is the nugget of something very interesting and compelling here, and I hope Stillwell is able to tap the vein into the full promise of the concept.

Other avenues might involve shifting the focus from the micro, individual level to the macro, societal level. The first page mentions that the first REV was treated like the Second Coming. What does that do to the world? Perhaps if you started with the premise that their world was very much like our own UNTIL the REVs appeared. Surely a flying man, a super-genius, or an invincible woman could have a much more profound impact than exploiting the powers for selfish reasons or zipping around to rescue people.

Even if they didn't DO much, the mere presence of super-powered people would shake science, religion, politics, and our entertainment industry to the very core.

I really like the art.

My anthropological training makes it really distracting for me if evolutionary concepts are not presented in scientifically accurate ways, which is tough to find in popular arenas. If the evolutionary logic here is presented correctly, however, I would be super excited. I'd probably pick it up just for that. Shoot, I'd love to consult (though my title could probably be 'official buzzkill)!

Hey everyone, I saw this cross-posted to the Newsarama blog and want to think everyone for their responses (and especially those nice enough to say nice things about me. This project was always designed to be a one-shot and to be a character-piece, the "super" powers are just an angle with which to tell these individuals stories. It's not a superhero book, and even if it was, I have never understood the "indy" bias for anything superhero. It's a story about how these powers affect individual lives and the decisions that people make, good or bad.

I'm guessing the bias has to do with powers' tendency to short-circuit actual storytelling and character development. I have to say, Ryan, your explaining that you want to focus on those things is much more interesting as a pitch than the formal one focussing on the super-stuff.

I'm just not sure it can be used as a vehicle for the human stories you're hoping to tell, as sampled above anyway. Suddenly becoming superhuman is not quite the same thing as winning the lottery.

We all know, or can imagine to some extent, what it feels like to have lots of money. Gaining, say, the ability to start fires on Monday morning would be an absolutely context-free, unbelievable, senses-shattering *event*. Framing it within the context of 'well, s***t, guess I'll go solve my completely mundane and predictable problems then...' seems like a severe handicap.

Love the art!