I’m just not sure it can be used as a vehicle for the human stories you’re hoping to tell, as sampled above anyway. Suddenly becoming superhuman is not quite the same thing as winning the lottery.

We all know, or can imagine to some extent, what it feels like to have lots of money. Gaining, say, the ability to start fires on Monday morning would be an absolutely context-free, unbelievable, senses-shattering *event*. Framing it within the context of ‘well, s***t, guess I’ll go solve my completely mundane and predictable problems then…’ seems like a severe handicap.

My anthropological training makes it really distracting for me if evolutionary concepts are not presented in scientifically accurate ways, which is tough to find in popular arenas. If the evolutionary logic here is presented correctly, however, I would be super excited. I’d probably pick it up just for that. Shoot, I’d love to consult (though my title could probably be ‘official buzzkill)!

There is the nugget of something very interesting and compelling here, and I hope Stillwell is able to tap the vein into the full promise of the concept.

Other avenues might involve shifting the focus from the micro, individual level to the macro, societal level. The first page mentions that the first REV was treated like the Second Coming. What does that do to the world? Perhaps if you started with the premise that their world was very much like our own UNTIL the REVs appeared. Surely a flying man, a super-genius, or an invincible woman could have a much more profound impact than exploiting the powers for selfish reasons or zipping around to rescue people.

Even if they didn’t DO much, the mere presence of super-powered people would shake science, religion, politics, and our entertainment industry to the very core.

I agree that there’s a bit of a ‘Heroes’ vibe going on here, but then, ‘Heroes’ hardly invented super powers, and the similarity could work to their advantage- maybe try pitching it to Boom Studios, which has marketed a few of its books by comparing them to TV shows?

So the guy needs money, gets super powers, and he’s gonna (just a guess) use the super powers to try and steal the money, temporarily of course — and with the motif-appropriate “I’ll pay it back” idea which is mentioned twice in two pages — and then, at a certain point, his powers run out during his criminal activities?

I like that he’s wearing a Marty McFly life preserver vest.

The pitch makes no sense; they’re called “victims”, but then the guy writing it goes on to explain that he doesn’t buy that they’re victims, that people are in control of it if they want to be. Seems contradictory. I also disagree with his logic there, as if money can’t help alcoholics or, for that matter, people with poor money management.

“On an Earth without superheroes”

It’s just like Earth, only there are *no* superheroes! None at all!

“This can be a very popular book if handled properly.”

I actually agree, but I think that neither this writer nor this artist can handle it properly.

And let me tell you “boy meats girl” isn’t clear at all!

Of course it’s clear. We call it “porn.”

Anyway, as for the pitch, I don’t think it’s written too well. You want to clearly get across your premise, set-up, and theme. You don’t want to say you got the idea from watching a show on FOX. It doesn’t help that the premise is similar to Heroes or whatnot, but the “temporary” twist does give it a bit of a hook.

The art is gorgeous, though. You’ve got that going for you.

I think the idea of a shadowy cabal granting powers to normal citizens (and being able to take them away at a whim) has been done to death lately, especially with the Lex Luthor’s Infinity Inc. in 52 and the Champions concept in the Initiative. I like the idea of this possibly being “random evolution”, but I agree with the characterization comments. There needs to be something that keeps me reading and makes me care about the fate of these characters, in three pages I’m not seeing that, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for it.

If I were an editor seeing this, I’d pass on this…but I would sit down with Tom and Ryan and work with them on developing a new book in its place. These guys could do a book I’d really want to read.

Problems with the pitch aside, I’d absolutely pick up the book for the Ryan Cody art. That man’s got talent galore.

That’s the premise of Jackpot. Ordinary folks gifted with extraordinary powers, making hard choice. Not everyone will be a good person. Not all choices will be smart ones.

…and then NBC put it on TV, and called it ‘Heroes’.

I mean, clearly there’s still a lot of interest in the idea of RL superpowers. It’s just that one suspects the niche has already been filled. (For sure the ‘ordinary people get an extraordinary chance’ premise has been, arguably all the way back to ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ and working up through ‘Touched By an Angel’)

The only way I could see this working is if it featured really, really strong and clever character development…and I’m not seeing that from the panels above. Sorry.

* the premise as given is about as clear as “boy meats girl”, 3 times an issue.