Vaughan & Chiang's "Paper Girls" Builds a Familiar Yet Disconcerting World
TOP FIVE WEEK CONTINUES (check here to see an archive of all the top five lists featured so far)!
Here are the top five worst marriages involving at least one superhero. Enjoy!
5. Tempest and Dolphin
So, Tempest (the former Aqualad) steals Aquaman’s girlfriend, Dolphin, from Aquaman. That’s fair enough. No big deal.
But then Garth accidentally knocks her up, and freaks out over the situation, while Dolphin is sitting around all “I hope he marries me!” Finally, he decides to marry her before their baby is born, and it was all so awkward, especially in the pages of Titans, where Dolphin ends up leaving him.
4. Namor and Marrina
What a bizarre marriage this was.
They didn’t even get to have their wedding featured on a cover (it was the 25th Anniversary Month where characters had their faces on the covers)!!
3. Johnny Storm and Alicia Masters
I really enjoyed the Johnny Storm/Alicia Masters relationship in John Byrne’s Fantastic Four. It wasn’t like Alicia was cheating on Ben or anything, as he was on Battleworld getting it on with ladies there.
It was just a nice, slowly evolving, realistic portrayal of a new relationship. Outside of Bill Loebs and Mark Waid on the Wally West/Linda Park relationship, this is probably the best evolution of a relationship that I’ve seen in comics.
But Johnny was just way too young to be getting married. Maybe EVENTUALLY, but not in Fantastic Four #300!
2. Donna Troy and Terry Long
This was just all sorts of wrong.
Donna’s, like, 22…Terry is a divorced college professor in his mid-30s (at least)
Chris Sims detailed all that is wrong about this relationship (including the creepiest factor – it was written as though we, the readers, should NOT be creeped out by it) in a hilarious post at his blog here.
The only reason it isn’t #1 is because I think there probably ARE a decent number of guys like Terry Long in real life who marry their young students, so at least it is sorta realistic.
1. Quicksilver and Crystal
This match-up, though, just made no sense whatsoever.
The characters aren’t similar.
The characters aren’t good together.
They had marital problems, like, RIGHT AWAY.
And worst of all, they stayed married for, like, twenty-five years, when EVERYONE, the characters included, realized how dumb the marriage was.
That’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Let me know!
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