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6/10 – Curious Cat Asks…

So, what do you think will be the dramatic last page reveal in this week’s New Avengers #31? What will be the (according to Marvel) “one revelation that will rock the Marvel Universe at its very core.”? It won’t involve Skrulls, right? Right? Right?!?

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37 Comments

Ian Astheimer

June 10, 2007 at 9:39 am

Jessica Jones is probably pregnant with Steve Rogers’ love-child, who’s ventured from the far-flung future of 2030 to claim the mantle of his fallen father.

Not Skrulls. Space Phantoms.

No-one expects the…SPANISH INQUISITION!

…sorry, couldn’t help myself.

I’m guessing either the Scarlet Witch returns to the series or Spider-Woman betrays the team by revealing that yes, she actually WAS on Hydra’s side all along.

Something only Brian Michael Bendis cares about.

What’s he talking about?

What I hope will happen:

The Defenderrrr, I mean New Avengers, will discover a piece of information that tells them that Iron Man is secretly being mind-controlled by Doctor Doom (they’ve said it will lead into the big 2008 crossover, and that they’re going to be doing a big Doom storyline, and frankly this they’re going to have to play the “Iron Man was mind-controlled” card sooner or later, so they might as well do it sooner.)

What will probably happen:

One member of the team is secretly a traitor working for Iron Man. Or a super-villain. Or something. Meh.

The return of Nick Fury.

Whatever it is I bet it will be in the form of a full-page spread and a dumb one-liner.

The Sentry is Thor.

Scarlet Witch returns and says she can bring back Captain America.

I thought Augie’s idea was funny, “Lots more mutants!”.

It’s pretty much impossible to guess but I’ll say that Nick Fury returns and is a pawn of Doctor Doom. The Spider-Woman turning bad is too obvious and I highly doubt they will kill off another major character, even though it is hinted with Elektra getting impaled on the cover.

The way Marvel is going….

ZOMBIES.

Everyone on the team is really Clint Barton, even the women.

The She-Hulk turns up and kicks Luke Cage in the “gentleman’s peculiar” REALLY HARD.

Naturally, despite being “steel-hard,” Luke’s “twig ‘n’ berries” buckle faster than a kerbcrawler under blue lights.

And for the next six months, Luke Cage has to walk like Forrest Gump, with his “Brighton Rock” in a hilariously embarrassing splint.

And the splint has a tiara.

And Iron Fist’s face is like this 8O the whole time.

And Mephisto did it.

And the sound effect goes like this SWOOFFFFFFFfTANGGg.

And Jessica Jones says “An’ ‘at one’s fer ME *hic*” before launching into a horrifying impersonation of Calamity Jane out of Deadwood, even though she isn’t drunk.

And the closing caption reads “ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. HAPPY NOW?”

And Captain America comes back from the dead on every page.

//\Oo/\\

While most of those are funny, I’m actually thinking the reveal will be that Annihilus is still alive and has been pulling the strings of everything – House of M, Civil War, World War Hulk – from the start.

Xorneto is really Skrullverine.

Squirrel Girl standing over Eternity’s bloody corpse.

It’ll have something to do with the whole Hydra/corrupt SHIELD/Hand thing that Bendis has been dancing around since the first issue of New Avengers. Fury returning isn’t really a big enough deal — he’s been on the margins of the books for a while, especially Captain America. And it’s pretty obvious — especially given the tipoff in the last issue — that Spider-Woman, if not straight-up evil, is at least hiding something.

My guess is that the corrupt faction of SHIELD — that’s working with the Hand and Hydra and possibly orchestrated the Civil War — is led by Maria Hill.

No, it’s Skrulls. It’s all Skrulls. We’re going to find out everyone in the Marvel Universe is a Skrull and always has been.

Spider-Man wakes up, walks into the bathroom, and Captain America walks out of the shower, still alive. It was all a dream! That and Avengers Disassembled AND Sins Past!

Andrew Collins

June 10, 2007 at 9:31 pm

My guess for the big “moment”? I think Kevin Nealon had it right back in 1994 on an SNL Weekend Update:

“Comic book legend Jack Kirby passed away this week. It’s okay though, as Marvel promises to bring him back in a future issue.”

I can’t think of a time Marvel has needed him more… o_O

I’m with Tim on Loki.

But as a backup: Iron Fist is actually Matt Murdock, undercover, like.

Not skrulls nor Space Phantoms: next-generation AI Nanoyadda-yadda Life Model Decoys manipulated by Inmortus (still bent on keeping the human race fragging each other instead of fragging the rest of the universe).

Tornado Ninja Fan #1

June 11, 2007 at 5:37 am

Looking at that future cover with the various alternate earth versions of the New Avengers, I would say we will see the Marvel version of the Multiverse.

But we’ve already got the Marvel version of the Multiverse! We’ve always _had_ the Marvel version of the Multiverse!

^And that would be different from the current MU, how exactly? Hasn’t Marvel already fully embraced the Multiverse with the zombieverse, series like What If? and Exiles and the Ultimate line?

Only differenve with DC is that they’re less spastic about. Someone wants to tell a story about a different dimension, go ahead, have a ball. Iy may not provide lots of continuity-porn but it does provide lots of storytelling options.

By the way, and sorry for going off-topic, but doesn’t anybody think the idea of the Multiverse having a limited number quite ridiculous?

Once you go along with the concept of a Multiverse doesn’t that mean that any universe imaginable would automatically be in existence on some level? Making the amount of possible universes limited to 52 (or any other number) seems illogical and silly to me, besides that, what reason is there to limit it? Am I making sense or have I just read to much Grant Morrison?

Throughout the pages of Avengers #31, four member of the team will hear a Bob Dylan song playing in their heads, and on the final page this will cause them to realize that they are in fact Cylons.

Oh, wait, that was Battlestar Galactica. Never mind then :)

And then Brian will blog a 4000-word entry about how a different Dylan song would have been far more appropriate.

J to the App: That’s only the case if universes are created by the different choices made, instead of by a giant moth barfing on planets.

It will involve Skrulls AND the Scarlet Witch.

Hey! I just paged through this at the comic shop, and my question is: WERE YOU KIDDING?!?!?!

Also: anyone know why this is supposed to “shake the foundation of the Marvel Universe” or whatever the hell else the hyperbole was?

Yes, Ken, that was my reaction too.

“THAT’s your big freaking revelation?!?!? (SPOILER) is a (SPOILER)? What a load of (NOT SPOILER, BUT YOU PROBABLY WOULDN’T WANT IT IN YOUR COMIC BOOK EITHER)!”

Seriously… we ordered extra copies of the issue for that? Do you really think people are going to care, Marvel? Really?

Lana Lang is a Manhunter!

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