X-POSITION: Phoenix, Upstarts & More Tear Up Bowers & Sims' "X-Men '92"
With the release of the latest Fantastic Four movie, as well as the Onion’s recent piece on “10 Wonderfully Weird Moments From Fantastic Four Comics,” I thought now would be a good time to repost this entry from last year. – BC
Here are the ten goofiest plot points from the first ten issues of the Fantastic Four. Please note that these comics were meant to be read by mostly a young audience, and it CERTAINLY was not expected that more than forty years later, people would still be reading these stories, so there is no maliciousness meant here. Most of these issues are total classics. That doesn’t mean that there weren’t some pretty goofy plot points in the first ten issues. Let the countdown begin!!
Sue the Ball-buster
Greg already shared this nugget from Fantastic Four #1 with us awhile back, but it is too funny to not give a second mention to!
Not only does she manage to sneak in a Commie shot, but she also gets to razz Ben!! Beautiful!
10. Water makes you BURN?
Reader Hoosier-X suggested this one, and I think it is good enough to feature here.
In Fantastic Four #7, Johnny and Ben get into a fight, and Johnny goes off to take a shower.
Ben plays a prank on him, by raising the temperature of the water.
And this makes Johnny flame on!!
Yes – he flamed on because of WATER!
9. Radar Eyes?!!?
It was already pretty goofy, in Fantastic Four #9, when Namor becomes a movie producer. But the goofiness quotient tipped the scales with this newfound power of Namor’s!
Yes, Namor has…RADAR EYES!!!
Luckily, this power has not been used much over the years.
8. A Bit Forward On His Part
In #4, as the Fantastic Four where searching for Johnny Storm, who had (ahem) stormed off at the end of #3, Reed thought a motorcyclist might know where Johnny was. However, rather than waiting to ask them when they stopped, Reed had a better idea.
7. Luckily, there wasn’t a war on at the time.
In Fantastic Four #2, the Skrulls convince everyone that the Fantastic Four are bad guys, so the Army locks them up.
Remember that the Army KNOWS who they have locked up.
They KNOW that Sue is the Invisible Girl.
And yet, when they open her cell door…
Yes, they thought that the Invisible Girl must have just vanished or something.
6. Cousins, Identical Cousins
This is another plot point that has not really been used since it was first mentioned.
The Puppet Master once had his daughter, Alicia Masters, inflitrate the Fantastic Four with a wig to make her look like Sue.
Sure, she apparently looked a lot like Sue, but it is still embarrassing that this disguise worked – not only wasn’t she Sue, she was BLIND!!!
Go to the next page for the top five!
5. What’s up with THAT?
My pal Kurt Mitchell first pointed this out awhile back, and it is still pretty funny.
Check out the cover of Fantastic Four #1.
Okay, so, well, WHO TIED REED UP?!?!
One of life’s goofy mysteries, eh?
4. Sure, sooo simple.
In Fantastic Four #2, when the Skrulls pretend to be the FF, they also had to mimic their powers. This explanation as to how EASY it was to mimic the Human Torch always struck me as quite hilarious.
Yeah….that was TOO easy! A child could do it!
3. Dude, Where’s My Skrull?
A reader named Gothos pointed this one out, and I had originally excluded it, because I thought it was more dumb than it was goofy, but I have had a change of heart, I think it is goofy, too!
In Fantastic Four #2, the Fantastic Four tricked the Skrull invasion fleet into not invading Earth. The Fantastic Four managed to get ON to the Skrull invasion fleet by masquerading as the very same Skrulls who were pretending to be THEM back on Earth (who were getting the Fantastic Four into all sorts of trouble at home)!
Using the excuse that they had to stay behind on Earth, the FF got out of the dilemma of having to stick around with the rest of the Skrulls who were quickly retreating.
However, there was still the matter of convincing the authorities back home that it was the Skrulls who did all those bad things, NOT the Fantastic Four! To achieve this, they took the police to see the Skrulls that the Fantastic Four had captured earlier in the issue. Notice the dialogue – QUARTET of Skrulls.
However, when they all get there, there are now only THREE Skrulls!!
Now, all of a sudden, Reed is talking about the fourth one being with the rest of the invasion fleet! But that, of course, couldn’t be true, because the fourth Skrull would know all about how the Fantastic Four TRICKED the Skrulls!!
Where,then, did the fourth Skrull REALLY go!??!
Likely, Jack Kirby simply forgot that there were supposed to be four Skrulls, and only drew three Skrulls the rest of the issue, and Lee added that little bit of dialogue to attempt to explain the fourth Skrull’s absence, but of course, the explanation fell far short, and just made it seem more goofy.
2. Dumb Skrulls
The whole plot of convincing an alien race that the planet is tougher than they think is a standard plot. Nothing goofy about it.
However, using pages you cut out of comic books?!!?
The only thing goofier is that it WORKED! The Skrulls can build ships capable of interstellar travel, but can’t tell that they’re looking at DRAWINGS?!!
How did the Kree NOT win that war?!
1. Lucky Day!
This, though, has to be the goofiest panel in FF history. From the classic issue #5, where the group meets Doctor Doom for the first time, Reed, Ben and Johnny go back in time…but what to do for disguises?!?
They need costumes, and they just so happen to come across…
Fighting over a large bundle of stolen clothes.
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
Jack Kirby really gave that one a LOT of thought!!
Anyhow, that’s the top ten! Feel free to quibble, or to offer your choices!
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