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David Campbell’s Top Ten Suicide Squad Lines

Because Cronin’s such a stand-up guy he allowed me to do a little guest spot here at Comics Should Be Good, where I can spread the gospel of Suicide Squad to the masses.

This week (and I use the term “week” loosely) on my blog Dave’s Long Box I am focusing on Suicide Squad, the legendary DC series about a covert crew of supervillains who work off their prison sentences by performing insanely dangerous missions for the government.

Created by John Ostrander, Suicide Squad is widely regarded in my house as the Greatest Comic Book Ever. Watchmen? Feh. Maus? Please. The Dark Knight Returns? You’re high. Suicide Squad reigns supreme over all lesser works.

One of the things that made Suicide Squad so transcendently awesome was Ostrander’s tough guy dialogue, so let’s run down Suicide Squad’s Ten Best Lines together, shall we? We’ll look at the first five best lines here at CSBG and you can check out the other five best lines at Dave’s Long Box. Fair enough?

Let us do this thing.

10. “Hell is cold!”

Cronin and I both agree, this line from Suicide Squad #18 is a classic. The Flash villain Captain Cold gets drafted into the Squad and sent up against Agni, a pyrokinetic member of the super terrorist group The Jihad. Cold doesn’t want to fight unless there’s some money to be made, so he tries to make a deal with the guy. Agni responds by lighting Captain Cold on fire – bad call.

“Hate is cold! Hell is cold! And sucker – I am Captain Cold!”

Corny and awesome at the same time.

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9. “Aussie rules.”

The slimiest character in Suicide Squad is Captain Boomerang, another Flash bad guy. The Australian villain is hilariously consistent in that he always chooses the most cowardly and self-serving course of action – and he’s mean.

In Suicide Squad #43, Boomerang impersonates Batman and gets captured by the Red Shadows, some commie goons. It’s all part of an elaborate plan, of course, and Boomerang is saved by Squad leader Amanda – but not before getting knocked around by the sinister Zastrow.

Waller makes a deal with Zastrow as Boomerang is untying himself. When he gets free, Boomerang sucker punches Zastrow -“ POW! Right in the kisser.

“A bloke hits ya, ya do him one in return. Aussie rules.”

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8. Black Adam comes calling.

Squad leader Amanda Waller is laid up in a hospital bed at the Institute for Meta-Human Studies when superbad Black Adam comes looking for her in Suicide Squad #58, a War of the Gods crossover issue. The Institute is crawling with bush league superhumans like Catalyst who attack Black Adam – you can guess how that turns out.

Adam throws Catalyst through the wall in Waller’s room and delivers a message via one of the doctors:

“There’s a man outside who calls himself Black Adam and he’s meeting with you or he turns the Institute into a crater. His choice of words, by the way.”

black adam.JPG

7. Someone set us up the bomb

In Suicide Squad #41, the communist colossus known as Stalnoivolk, who we have met before, improvises in a ruthless way. He needs to take out the rampaging Count Vertigo, but nobody can get close to the guy because of his topsy-turvy puke power.

Stalnoivolk picks up his comrade, a combustible commie known appropriately as Molotov. His powers are a) drinking mass vodka, and b) exploding and then reforming. Also fond of referring to himself as “Da Bomb.”

Anyway, Gorst physically throws Molotov a couple hundred yards through the air at the target.

“Go blow up Vertigo.”

vertigo.JPGvertigo2.bmp

6. Amanda Waller will shank you.

If there’s one thing Amanda Waller is good at, it’s shutting people down. In this scene from Suicide Squad #22, Dr. Light gets a little uppity with “The Wall” and threatens to blow the whistle on their covert group.

She’s heard it before.

“You’re not the first one to make that threat,” she tells Dr. Light. “Know what happened to the last one to make it?”

“Died. In the exercise yard. Got knifed in the back.”

Man, threatening to have a dude stabbed with a sharpened spoon in prison -“ that’s called hardball right there.

dr light.JPG

All right, I’m out of here. Thanks, Cronin!

Come check out the other five of the Suicide Squad’s Ten Best Lines over at Dave’s Long Box.

16 Comments

As always, Dave brings the Airwolf to the masses!

not “Bugger….writer’s block” leading to the brutal death of Grant Morrison?

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q87/ubahnfahrer/ss/ss5816.jpg

Tom Fitzpatrick

July 30, 2007 at 5:33 pm

I’ve always enjoyed Rick Flagg’s final words before he was killed off, “Say good-bye you sonofa–“.

Something to that effect. ;-)

“Ah, you were never any fun at parties, Pengy.”

Scavenger’s right; you should make it the Top 11 lines.

Rick Flagg bowing out with “Say goodbye you sonuva…” is pretty good, but he’s got nothing on Boba Fett:
“What the…?”

…and then, Dr. Light raped her. Because he sure does like raping people!

In Middle School to shank someone was to pull down their pants on them.

I enjoyed the Black Adam refusal to deal with enemies in a way other than slaughtering them – “Because that way I don’t get to see their blood spurt.”

It had a couple of weak moments, but I agree – Ostrander’s Suicide Squad was the best comic ever. Although Secret Six is proving to be a worthy successor title….

Once, a couple of years ago, that Captain Cold quote popped into my head, and I couldn’t remember where it came from. I went through every Waid Flash with Cold in it and of course couldn’t find it because it’s not Waid’s kind of line. Didn’t think of the Squad because Cold wasn’t a regular member.

Six months later it came to me, and I dug the issue out.

It is, of course, the awesomest Captain Cold moment ever.

Doug Atkinson

July 31, 2007 at 3:12 pm

A couple, not so much quotes, but minor moments that have stuck with me:

Bronze Tiger’s stunned disbelief that the codename Waller invented for him on a mission was “El Tigre Negro.” (Her explanation was something like “I didn’t want it to be too obvious.”)

The “Private Lives” piece from one of the annuals, where Waller is giving her daughter and son-in-law a much-needed metaphorical kick in the butt to shape up their marriage; she tells her football player son-in-law something like, “And if you two do not manage to work out your problems, I will quit my job and move in with you and devote myself to making your life a living hell, and you know I can do it!” (Particularly amusing was the fact that Keith Giffen framed the sequence so we only saw the top of Waller’s head and the bottom of her son-in-law’s chin.)

Tom Fitzpatrick

July 31, 2007 at 4:32 pm

Did Boba Fett actually have any dialogue in Star Wars?

I can see him thinking it, but don’t remember him having said anything in any of the movies.

In Middle School to shank someone was to pull down their pants on them.

That’s… disturbing.

Tornado Ninja Fan #1

August 1, 2007 at 9:39 am

My favorite was a random Australian saying that most Aussies believe that Captain Boomerang isn’t a real Australian.

Tornado Ninja Fan #1

August 1, 2007 at 9:41 am

No! Forget it! My favorite quote is “SPLOOTCH!”

As an aspiring screenwriter,I would love to apapt THE SUICIDE SQUAD! It’s like THE DIRTY DOZEN meets the comics universe. I heard they are planning to do THE A-TEAM! LOL! Instead of that crap they should tackle the wacky characters of The Sucide Squad. It’s too bad a lot of people have not heard of this gritty title!

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