1. What did the Joker once attempt to patent? (3 points)

That doll that flew through David Letterman's studio and gassed everybody. Because who wouldn't want one of those?

2. How are Christine Spar and Hunter Rose connected? (4 points)

At the hip. They're Siamese twins, but they married different men, so they have different last names.

4. At least how old is John Constantine, and how do we know that? (5 points)

15, because the devil made him a new body in 1992.

6. To whom did Tommy Czuchra lose his virginity? (9 points)

Greg's mom.

7. What name did Warren White go by after just a brief stint in Arkham Asylum? (4 points)

White Power. Tighty Whitey. The White Stuff. White Man That Can Jump. Might Makes White. Warren Peace.

8. Whose men killed Ned Leeds? (3 points)

Peter David.

9. How did Sue Storm get Ben Grimm to fly Reed’s rocket? (2 points)

I think we all know the answer to this one, nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more! Can you say "Fantastic Fourgy"?

13. According to John Byrne’s “special price guide,” how much is Amazing Spider-Man #1 worth? (7 points)

Since Byrne didn't write or draw it, he probably thinks it's worthless.

15. What do the Northern and Southern Hemispheres spell out in Centravian? (10 points)

Holy crap! What the fuck are you talking about, Greg?

16. Where did Daredevil take Nuke when he died? (2 points)

To the tattoo removal parlor to take that silly flag off his face so his mother wouldn't be embarrassed at his funeral.

18. Where did Mary Jane Watson go when Peter Parker asked her to marry him the second time? (4 points)

Joe Quesada's nightmares.

19. What Genesis song is based on a famous comic strip by Winsor McCay? (9 points)

It doesn't matter; all their songs suck.

20. What brother of a superhero did Doctor Crocodile capture and torture? (6 points)

Doc Croc? I've never heard of him, but I would think he has issues with Doctor Octopus due to similar names. Is he Killer Croc's smarter brother? Ah, I got nothin'.

21. What is the actual name of the protector of the “black and lightless void known as the Obsidian Deeps”? (4 points)

Harold.

22. In what town in what state did the Shadowpact spend a year, trapped? (3 points)

I don't know the town, but I'm sure it was a state of denial.

23. What’s Kylun’s mutant power? (4 points)

Not getting annoyed when people point out his stupid name?

25. In which region is Vanity located? (4 points)

Grant Morrison's frontal lobe.

26. What was Beta Ray Bill’s ship called? (3 points)

Bill's Booty Wagon (Lowridaz forever!).

27. What was the name of the person (later revealed to be a Skrull) who led the charge to banish superheroes in general, and the Avengers in particular? (3 points)

Brian Michael Bendis.

28. What’s Chris Grahame’s medical problem? (10 points)

Eczema.

30. How did Lou Martin get his superpowers? (5 points)

Bit by a radioactive Leonard Maltin.

31. Who tried to write The Unauthorized Biography of Lex Luthor? (6 points)

Ned Beatty.

32. What does the purple Infinity Gem give its user power over? (6 points)

Hulk's pants.

33. In which comic book did Kyle Rayner first appear? (4 points)

Green Lantern Obsessive Fandom Edition #1.

34. What did Namor call his ecologically-minded company? (4 points)

Enron (he got bought out).

35. What mysterious and ancient thing allows Joshua Jones to manipulate gravity? (8 points)

The Earth. When he jumps, it pulls him back down.

36. Name the superpowered members of the original Jihad. (1 point each, 6 points total)

Dynamite-Chest Magee, Car-Bomb Phil, Jew-Hater Jerry, Suicide Sally, Praise-Allah Pat, America-Hatin' Osama, and Racist-Depiction Roger.

37. Who was the first person to call Wolverine “Logan”? (6 points)**

His mother (I should've probably gone with another "your mom" joke here. Crap.).

And that's more than enough. Hey, I said they would be lame jokes, didn't I?