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It’s officially tomorrow and I may possibly be dreaming about writing this. Hmm…. Anyway, today’s featured webcomic is a brilliantly epic tale, and part of this complete and most important meal of the day. (Serve with archive juice.)
247. Breakfast of the Gods
We come from the land of the oats and flakes
From the morning meals like Quisp and Quake;
The breakfast of the gods
Will drive our spoons to new bowls
To feed the hordes, crackling and popping.
Chocula, I am coming!
Maybe you were like me once, and became good friends with those colorful characters who lived on the cardboard treasure chests that man called cereal boxes, who blazed into life in mind-expanding television commercials and compelled you to purchase their bran, flake, circular oat, or sweetened puffed corn of life. They were the cereal mascots, and they were part of this complete breakfast. The most important meal of the day wouldn’t be the same without them.
Now, they’re back. And they’re an excellent source of calcium and drama!
Let it be known now that Brendan Douglas Jones’ Breakfast of the Gods is the Watchmen of cereal mascots. Genius, genius work. I would, in fact, say that’s it’s grrrrrreat!
There’s a massive conflict brewing, and the evil Count Chocula is behind it. Can Cap’n Crunch, Tony the Tiger, and their allies save the day? Will any cereal mascot make it out alive? Some have succumbed to their Cuckoo-ness, but others fight the good fight to bring delicious and colorful nutrition to the world’s children. Or whatnot.
All the mascots you remember show up, and if they don’t, I’m sure they will soon. The Trix Bunny is a private detective and master of disguise. Toucan Sam has gone the way of Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. Frankenberry is an enforcer for Chocula. Yep, everybody’s in it, from Fruit Brute to Dig ‘Em and everyone in between. Tony the Tiger is a mighty warrior. Cap’n Crunch is a leader of men.
Yeah, it can be dark and violent, but it’s always self-aware. No one’s childhood is getting raped here; Jones is just telling a crazy, epic fantasy adventure that happens to star cereal mascots. The art’s good too: the characters are well-cartooned and everything’s as colorful as it was on the cereal box.
If you were the kinda kid who read the boxes over and over, well, this is definitely for you. And if you weren’t that kid… it’s time to find out what you missed out on. Dig in and read it. It’s in the middle of book two, but it’s easy to go back and catch up.
You probably expected me to end this post with a cereal pun. Hah! You were wrong. I’m not so hokey. I won’t milk a joke for all it’s worth.
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