CSBG Archive
365 Reasons to Love Comics #289
Oops. Looks like I’m falling behind again, so it’s time to bring in a very special guest writer to continue our look at comic book bad guys. Don’t mind his ego. (Archive.)
10/16/07
289. Dr. Doom
Greetings, denizens of the internet! This is VICTOR VON DOOM speaking to you from his information supervehicle in glorious and scenic Doomstadt, Latveria! I was drafting up plans to finally destroy that accursed Richards when Bill asked me to write a column about myself. Naturally, I accepted, though I threatened to wipe him off the face of the Earth. Why? Because it’s fun. Do not question Doom!
The people have spoken, and I, Doom, am truly their most favorite villain! I must admit, I take great offense to this appellation– for Doom is truly the hero of his own tale. It’s blasted Richards that shall be remembered as the true villain! Mark my words!
I, the greatest “villanous” collaboration between Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, made myself known to the populace in Fantastic Four #5, quite possibly the greatest single issue of the Marvel Age. What less could you expect from a story involving time-travel, pirates, and Doom!?
Truly, that day was a milestone in the history of the world, for I have reappeared constantly over the decades. Not even death can stop my many attempts to conquer all that is! In fact, I have starred in multiple series of my own, such as Super-Villain Team-Up or the tremendous Doom 2099, in which I became lord of the future! And then there was that time I became reality’s most fearsome sorcerer!
All hail almighty Doom, rightful ruler of Latveria, a quaint little crime-free country somewhere in the middle there! Almighty Doom, the world’s smartest man! Doom, whose mother was a saint, damn your eyes!
DO NOT DOUBT THE VALIDITY OF DOOM’S DOCTORATE! IT WAS A LEGITIMATE ACCREDITED UNIVERSITY! CURSE YOU RICHAAAARRRRRDDDDSSS! DEATH TO JULIAN MCMAHON!!!!
Doom has such depth that a paltry Reason to Love Comics cannot contain his greatness! You’ll have to make due with the Wikipedia article or Marvel’s own Universe entry, for I must now return to my attempts to defeat and discredit the one called Richards. DOOM AWAYYYYYYY
14 Comments
km
October 16, 2007 at 7:18 pm
[bows before the greatness that is Doom with fear and trembling]
OK, Bill, you win. I’ll never complain about another Reason.
Rebis
October 16, 2007 at 7:22 pm
That was laugh-out-loud funny. More than once. And I’m sitting at an internet cafe. Nothing says “Geeks rule!” more than the guy sitting by himself with his Mac laptop reading a comics site and chuckling into his coffee.
So glad you got your groove back, Bill!
Matt Bird
October 16, 2007 at 8:08 pm
But Doctor, what do you think of statements like this one?:
“As for Doom and Fate: Really, I just don’t think they’re that cool. I’d rather see a list populated with fun characters like Dr. 13 and Dr. Bong than overrated and obvious ones like Doom and Fate. Sorry.”
Feel free to respond with a mighty swat of your gauntleted hand.
(I don’t type the word “gauntleted” enough.)
Ian
October 16, 2007 at 8:29 pm
’bout time.
I think “Doom’s speech pattern” is enough of a reason to love comics all its own.
Bret
October 16, 2007 at 8:47 pm
There’s only one way to do this, and still make Doom hate you.
Retcon Richards into one of those blank spots before him.
It’ll be fun.
stealthwise
October 16, 2007 at 9:18 pm
Doom is Mighty. Doom is timeless. Doom is All.
Alejandro
October 16, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Two words.
Squirrel Girl.
Mark S
October 17, 2007 at 5:34 am
The word “accursed” is his personal property. Or should be.
avengers63
October 17, 2007 at 7:00 am
Doom speaking of Doom in third person is testimony to Doom’s greatness. Doom is Doom. Doom shall rule all, and All shall obey Doom. DOOM!!!
Did anyone read the Emperor Doom graphic novel? It was great. Doom captured the Purple Man and used him to take over the earth. Under his rule, everything actually got better – hunger, environment, wars, etc. He soon got bored with it, though, and gave the world it’s free will back. Since then, he hasn’t been into world conquest. Pretty neat.
Ben Herman
October 17, 2007 at 9:54 am
Two words. Squirrel Girl.
Curse you, Richards… um, I mean, Alejandro! Bah, Doom will not tolerate this insult upon his royal personage!
Bret
October 21, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Dazzler.
With Squirrel Girl, at least there’s an excuse.
Comics Should Be Good! » 365 Reasons to Love Comics Archive
October 27, 2007 at 7:46 pm
[...] 289. Dr. Doom [...]
Comics Should Be Good! » 365 Reasons to Love Comics #345
December 11, 2007 at 8:51 pm
[...] Kirby’s art exploded onto the page and evolved into sheer perfection, especially under the gorgeous inks of Joe Sinnott. And the ideas that burst forth from his head, and his collaboration with Stan! Doom! Galactus! Silver Surfer! The Watcher! The Awesome Android! Mole Man! The Infant Terrible! The Impossible Man! The Inhumans! Hell, the Red Ghost! Those two crazy nuts made it the best book on the stands, and no one’s ever been able to top it. Oh, a select few have come close to its brilliance– I gesture to Walt Simonson and the Waid/Wieringo team (and some would say John Byrne)– but Lee and Kirby’s FF cannot be topped and probably never will be. I know it won’t be the same, but I can’t wait for that “Lost FF issue” to come out. [...]
Haydn
April 7, 2011 at 8:52 pm
And Doom called the Thing an “atavism.” (in FF 40, if memory serves). Had to look that word up. Kudos to Stan Lee for forcing me to find a dictionary.