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CSBG Archive

Snark Free Corner for 11/19

Welcome to the latest installment of your breath of snark free air!

Enjoy!

COMIC BOOK IDOL 3 UPDATE

The winner is Jon Reed!!

Reed is a 28-year-old accountant assistant from Alexandria, VA.

Congrats, Jon!

Here, I will share the entries by Jon that I posted in Snark Free Corner over the course of the contest…

ROUND 1

PAGE ONE.

Panel 1.
Establishing shot. A breathtaking vista illuminates a Mexican sunset as we key in on a peninsula rising above the crashing ocean waves below. A lone beach house is on the peninsula, appearing rather inconspicuous. CHANCE CALLOWAY’S ’59 Thunderbird convertible is parked right outside.

Panel 2.
Inside the beach house, we see a cloth towel draped over a chair in the foreground. Chance lounges on a beat-up futon in the background; sipping on a beer while watching television. Steam emits from a bathroom door in the background-someone is showering.

Panel 3.
A small inset panel, a bird’s eye view of the beach house from high above in the sky. A Comanche attack helicopter blade whirls through our shot as it zeroes in on the house.

Panel 4.
ASPEN MATTHEWS pops ONLY her head and everything above her breast-line out of the bathroom doorway pointing at the towel on the chair. This is our opening shot of her so make it count. NO NUDITY.

Panel 5.
From the POV of the side of the Comanche helicopter (we don’t want to fully reveal it just yet), we see a pair of Hellfire missiles shoot out towards the beach house.

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ROUND 2

PAGE ONE

Page One, Panel One

We open here with a shot of cheerleaders, which, as we all know, is how every good comic should open! Anyway… we’re on the sidelines of a high school football game as these hot young things are doing their best to do their jobs and cheer on the crowd. The main focus of this shot should be one cheerleader in particular and she should be the center of attention; clearly the captain and the hottest of the bunch. Poses and uniforms up to you, but they should look sexy and feature the letters JB as I went to Joel Barlow High School.

Caption: I never dated a cheerleader.

Page One, Panel Two

Cut now to a scene at the prom… just a close-up of the prom queen as she stands on the stage and smiles and holds her flowers and waves at the crowd. She just got her crown and is happy as all hell. She’s the prom queen, so she should be hot and decked out here in her gown with her tiara. I can send my prom pic as ref if you want to see what my date wore in 1989, even though she wasn’t even nominated as queen. Depending on how you frame it, if we can see any of the background, it should be of balloons and glitter and all that prom shit, with any signs again for Joel Barlow High School Prom or JBHS 1989. Our theme was “Wonderful Tonight” if you wanted to include that. I’m just giving details here, so feel free to use or disregard whatever you want.

Caption: Never got lucky with the prom queen.

Page One, Panel Three

Cut to the outside of the back of a schoolyard near a parking lot. There should be a couple of old wooden benches and on them are seated a bunch of stoner chicks. Back then, Jerry Garcia was alive and the Dead were still touring and there were plenty of Deadhead chicks at my school. So there should be three or four of these chicks seated here, ripped jeans, tie-dyed shirts, flip-flops, rings, bracelets, anklets, dreadlocks, braided hair… however far you feel like going. They’re all just sitting around smoking cigs and chatting as an old boom box plays some tunes they’re grooving to.

Caption: Those kinds of girls always required too much effort.

Caption: I always found it easier to trade cigarettes with the stoner chicks for a quick hook-up in the parking lot.

Page One, Panel Four

This is a small inset panel in the bottom right corner of panel three. It’s a simple shot of a young C.B. here, smiling or winking at the reader, as he enters the story.

C.B.: Just kidding.

Page One, Panel Five

Establishing shot of C.B. here now, dressed much like he is on the cover of Wonderlost #1: jeans, t-shirt, sambas, Rossignol cap, and black and yellow JB soccer jacket. He’s on his own, maybe holding a notebook and a text book under one arm, as he walks down a crowded high school hallway lined with lockers.

Caption: I mean, sure, I was your typical, horny high school teen, looking for love in any place I could find it.

Caption: Most often in the pants of any girl who’d let me in.

Page One, Panel Six

C.B. now standing in the same hallway in front of the lockers with a cute little dark-haired hottie, dressed casually in jeans and sweater and Keds or something similar. She has her back up against the lockers as he leans in and over her and they make goo-goo eyes at each other.

Caption: But now that I’m older, reflecting back on all the different girls I dated…

Caption: …I’ve come to realize that the ones I slept with are the ones I remember the least.

Page One, Panel Seven

Tighter on just their faces as they stare in each other’s eyes.

Caption: My fondest memories are of the girls I didn’t hook up with.

Caption: The small moments I shared with them are the ones I’ve never forgotten.

reed1.jpg

ROUND 3

Page 1:

Invincible is flying toward us, cool, iconic shot, he’s bursting through clouds, smiling, having a grand old time.

His fun is interrupted as he looks down at the ground, casually at first, then sees something distressing and starts to fly down toward us.

reed 11.jpg

ROUND 4

Page 3:

The boy trips hitting the ground face first. As he recovers, a boot steps in front him. He looks up to see whose boot this is. A hand reaches down to help him get up. The reveal: it’s Saturn Girl. She helps him to his feet. He’s relieved to see her. But wait! He looks behind her and goes bug-eyed…

Page 4:

Splash. The bigger reveal: she is accompanied by various members of the Legion. Put in who you want. I’m leaving it up to you, but I want to see a cool shot of them looking up at the machines and looking ready for a big fight.

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ROUND 5

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Now is also the time when I give the results of the Comic Book Idol 3 contest I posted on the blog awhile back.

Two contestants correctly picked Jon Reed and Charles Paul Wilson III as the two finalists, Scott (of Legion Clubhouse fame) and Kevin Collazo.

To decide between the two, I virtually flipped a coin, courtesy of random.org’s virtual coin flipper function.

Scott was first, so I made him heads, and Kevin tails.

Here are the results!!

You flipped 1 coin of type US 25¢ – Delaware:

reverse.jpg

Timestamp: 2007-11-20 05:47:37 UTC

You flipped 1 coin of type US 25¢ – Delaware:

obverse.jpg

Timestamp: 2007-11-20 05:48:33 UTC

You flipped 1 coin of type US 25¢ – Delaware:

obverse.jpg

Timestamp: 2007-11-20 05:48:48 UTC

The winner, therefore, is Scott!!

Congrats, Scott! Send me an e-mail with your mailing info, and I’ll have your prizes sent out promptly!

COVER THEME GAME

As always, here is the game. I show three covers. They all have something in common, whether it be a character, a trait all three characters share, locale, creator, SOMEthing. And it isn’t something obvious like “They all have prices!” “They all have logos!” “They all feature a man!” etc.

In addition, please note that you must have some familiarity with comic book history to correctly guess these comics. You cannot guess the connective theme just by looking at the covers solely, you must have some knowledge beyond just the covers.

Good luck! A cool point to the first person to figure it out!

1.

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2.

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3.

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SNARK FREE CHALLENGE

Who would win in an arm wrestling contest – Hawkeye (Clint Barton) or Green Arrow (Oliver Queen)?

THE COVER GAME

This week’s game is as follows…

Find me a cover featuring Green Arrow and Hawkman on it…

Floating heads don’t count!

And NEW rule! No using those “Every Justice Leaguer/Avenger/X-Men ever!” covers they do sometimes (mostly for anniversary covers)! That isn’t very fun!

Here is an example (which you can’t use!)….

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Remember, only one cover per commenter!

Good luck!

WHO IS IT?

Remember, tell me who it is and what number clue gave it away!

1. This character was a member of the Justice League.
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2. This character has had a sidekick.
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3. This character was killed.
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4. The character has returned from the grave.
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5. This character technically debuted in an issue of Fury of Firestorm.

Who is it?

Well, that’s it for this installment of Snark Free Corner.

Hope you had fun!

29 Comments

Who Is It? Blue Devil, on 5. Specifically, on the word “technically,” since there was a special preview insert before the first issue of BD’s own book.

Cover Challenge: Justice League of America #57 http://www.comics.org/coverview.lasso?id=21417&zoom=4

Is the answer to the cover theme game that they all feature flashlights? Granted, the last one’s more like headlights but I’ll venture the guess.

I’m pretty sure that’s Blue Devil, although until clue 5 I was thinking Green Arrow.

Here, I will share the entries by Jon that I posted in Snark Free Corner over the course of the contest…

oh, yer killin’ me!

oh, yer killin’ me!

Hehe, I will admit that a bit of me was thinking, “Oh man, yo go re is not going to like this.” :)

Let’s see… that first cover has the golden age Sandman after he was revamped to be more superhero-ish, and the second one has the revamped Secret Six, who are wearing costumes while I believe the original version was some sort of spy story. I have no clue about to Impulse cover, but I’m going to guess the overall theme has to do with spandex makeovers.

I’ll go out on a limb and say that all issues feature characters who died in the very next issue?
Just a guess.

Also, Green Arrow would win, because he plays dirty, and Hawkeye sometimes wears a skirt.

Hawkeye would win, because Green Arrow would underestimate him.

Because EVERYONE underestimates Hawkeye.

Hawkeye wins because he is a carny. NEVER go against a carny in a one-on-one contest. They rig the game.

Plus, Jarvis’ home cooking beats chili.

Cover Game: http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/justice-league-of-america/213-1.jpg

The first JLA comic I ever read.

Cover Challenge:

I thought it might be all characters who were revamped in the late 80′s, but Mercury/Quicksilver was the early 90′s.

My first thought on the cover challenge is characters named “Bart.” We have Bart Allen as Impulse. My rusty brain thinks that he guy in the lower left corner of the Secret Six cover is named Bart (but i would have to dig up an old Action Weekly to confirm. And the guy on the Adventure Comics cover looks like a Bart. I mean, C’mon…purple? Only Bartman could pull that off!

Never mind. No Bart. A Vic, a Mitch, a Luke, and a Tony, but no Bart. There should have been a Bart. It would have been better (an a cool point)

Cover Game: Hmm, if the theme is simply “revamps”, then recall that Max Mercury was the revamp (new name, costume) of a Golden Age character named Quicksilver. It feels too simple, though.

Matthew Lazorwitz

November 20, 2007 at 8:27 am

Cover game: http://www.comics.org/coverview.lasso?id=91065&zoom=2

That’s Green Arrow #12 from the most recent series.

Also, for the Cover Theme Game:

I had been thinking revamps too. Although could it also be that all of those characters have died? I know Wesley, Bart, and Max have all kicked it, no idea about the Secret Six though. Knowing how DC’s been lately though, it wouldn’t surprise me.

For the Cover Theme Game, they all feature DC characters (or DC-owned characters, in the case of Quality Comics’ Max) with names that would later be used for Marvel Characters: Sandman, Mockingbird and Quicksilver.

Also, all three of the Marvel namesakes would join the Avengers at some point or another (in Sandman’s case very fleetingly).

Who Is It: Blue Devil on four, only because I figured GA would probably be too obvious for this game. Actually, you know what, I just recalled the Justice League issue where Blue Devil sexually harrases Power Girl into taking action, and you know, I may have to backtrack on some statements I’ve made elsewhere.

Snark Free Challenge: Totally GA. Hawkeye is cool and all, but Ollie has that salty sea dog vibe about him. He’s the sort of guy who was born to win arm wrestling contests.

My money would be on Hawkeye for the arm-wrestling contest. No question that I’d bet on Ollie over Clint in archery, but it’s for the same reason; Hawkeye’s just not as committed to it as Green Arrow is (just look at how often he’s abandoned it altogether to become a totally different kind of superhero), and as a result I’d say his training is a bit more well-rounded.

Also, all three of the Marvel namesakes would join the Avengers at some point or another (in Sandman’s case very fleetingly).

I love the confidence that I have that, no matter how obscure the question is, someone WILL get it. :)

I think only one Cover Theme Game has not been answered correctly yet.

Excellent. And here I thought I was geeking out a bit too much with the Avengers thing.

Cover Game:
http://www.milehighcomics.com/cgi-bin/backissue.cgi?action=fullsize&issue=44007723690%20115

I think this would have been a lot harder had we not had Infinite Crisis to draw from.

Also, no snark on this, just disappointment: I’m not satisfied with the winner of Comic Book Idol 3. Of course, I *could* have voted (right?), so I guess I don’t have room to complain.

But all the really promising contestants failed to advance past the first round

I think only one Cover Theme Game has not been answered correctly yet.

Sounds like it’s time to bump that thread about the unanswered Cover Themes, then. I can think of at least two I never saw answers for…

Dang! You’re totally right!! There are a LOT of cover theme games that have yet been unanswered. I guess I was just thinking of the one prominent one that no one seems to be able to get (the Atom Smasher/Clark Kent/Nightwing connection).

I’ll do that entry in a moment!

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