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Best description of Secret Invasion?

You know, I often read Abhay's reviews over at Savage Critic(s), even though they're often incoherent messes. He's damned funny, after all. But his latest review of Secret Invasion #7 is surprisingly lucid and not as filled with ridiculous profanities as his reviews usually are. It's a nice long post that breaks down why Secret Invasion #7 doesn't really work, and Abhay sums it up with a hilarious description of what reading the book is like. It's a tiny bit offensive (if you're easily offended), but it's really funny. Trust me!

  • Posted on October 25, 2008 @ 08:05 AM

19 Comments

That review reminds me of "Planes, Trains and Automobiles." Specifically, the part where Steve Martin tells John Candy that his stories would be so much more fun to listen to if they had a point.

I found it neither offensive nor funny, is there another description for it?

I have no idea what he was talking about the entire time.......maybe I'm just dumb.

This was his best review. I also had issues with it supposingly being this huge fight for the survival of Earth yet coming off flat. I couldn't put my finger on why.

He did. In 7 easy steps.

Yeah, Ahbay's a freakin' genius, pretty much.

Nice review, pointing the many flaws of SI so far...

A nice 101 of comic epic...

Why are people constantly complaining about Secret Invasion and Final Crisis? Do they even like comics? What are they possibly looking for? Do they just want their stories spoon fed to them like they were as a kid?

Feh. My problem with Secret Invasion is that if the Skrulls had anything resembling effective intelligent leadership, they would have already conquered Earth. Instead, they're led by a princess who blindly follows her religion and who seems to be more interested in bringing about the Skrull version of the End of Days than in actually conquering the Earth.

I'd claim Princess Veranke is an attempt to be a George W. Bush stand in, except that goes completely against about 4 years of Marvel's direction, and it's not like Bendis is trying to play up this comparison at all.

"O" the Humanatee!

October 25, 2008 at 1:36 pm

Why are people constantly complaining about meals they get at restaurants? Do they even like food? What are they possibly looking for? Do they just want their meals to taste good and be worth the price they paid?

Why are people constantly complaining about problems with their vehicles? Do they even like cars? What are they possibly looking for? Do they just want their cars to operate smoothly and reliably?

Why are people constantly complaining about problems with their government? Do they even like America?* What are they possibly looking for? Do they just want their officials to act ethically and in the public interest?

P.S. to comics snob: If you'd actually read Abhay's review, you'd see that he contrasts Secret Invasion with other comics that he does like to highlight what he feels is wrong with Secret Invasion. You'd also see that none of his criticisms have to do with an absence of "spoon-feeding," but with a lack of craft and consistency. But reading his review might cut into your not-thinking time, so I can understand if you didn't.

* If you're not American, feel free to substitute your own country.

Nothing in that review makes me inclined to read any more at that site.

What a great review, though the first half was bland. I just like to point out that the background skrulls seem to be queuing for something in this issue, looked like my local post-office. And all the poses later in the fight seem to be swiped from Austin Powers.

Humanatee wins decisively.
Comic snob's notion that SI is in some way on a higher level of sophistication and that any complaints about it must mean that one wants their comics "spoon fed" to them is comically deluded. We're talking about an action packed crossover event from one of the big two here, not some experimental piece from the heyday of RAW, dude.
This just reinforces my conviction that Bendis is well suited to dialogue and small character bits; all his attempts at widescreen big action, epic large canvass stuff just results in stuff that, beyond just emphasizing his weaknesses, ends up consisting exclusively of his weaknesses. I do honestly enjoy him when he sticks to the stuff that he's good at, SI just doesn't fall under that category.

Thomas C (AKA cap'n yesterday)

October 25, 2008 at 7:20 pm

This is completely true, I think part of the problem is the fact that it's left to the various tie-ins to do the more complex storytelling, while leaving the main book to do broad impressionistic strokes of the battle. Plus, you can tell that most of this is filler, the interesting part of the story is being held back for #8. which begs the question: why not just put the story from #8 and #7 into one book?* I'm beginning to think I should've just waited until the trade shows up at my local library, but I'm a completist, so, uh, yeah, okay, alright, sure, mm-hmm, etc.

*if you can't figure out the answer on your own, here's a hint: gigantic wads of cash.

I don't know, Brian. I'm thinking it's not a "bizarro" version of CIVIL WAR at all, although I guess I can see his point.

I was thinking the best way to describe SECRET INVASION was that Bendis went through his comics collection, pulled out the DC MILLENIUM and DC INVASION miniseries from 1988-89 respectively, and decided to attempt to shoehorn the major elements of these two "events" together into one whole story and apply it to the Marvel Universe.

How do I figure this, you ask?

In DC MILLENIUM, the Manhunters are a cult like android / robotic race that has made copies of persons close to the heroes, mind-controlled others close to the heroes, and made deals with yet others who are close to the DC Heroes, all silently awaiting to strike. In SECRET INVASION, the Skrulls are alien shapeshifters who have a cult-like attitude due to a prophecy that they are to take over Earth, so they take the place of characters close to the heroes and even some of the heroes themselves, silently awaiting to strike.

In DC INVASION, The Dominators form the Alien Alliance to take over the Earth because supposedly Earth's heroes were always interfering with their affairs. One of their alien allies are the Durlans, which as you may recall are shapeshifters like the Skrulls. And so of course, we see the same stratagem of replacing officials or heroes to that effect with the Durlans. Whee. The real reason the Skrulls have invaded Earth is because of Earth's heroes intervening in the Kree-Skrull War, and of course Reed Richards' ability to ward off Galactus, which eventually lead to the interalactic disposal unit feasting on the Skrull Homeworld instead. (Which begs the question, why doesn't Galactus just hunt down Ego the Living Planet? I mean, surely that's gotta be more of a challenge, chasing a mobile planet throughout the galaxies like live prey, rather than occasionally stopping at the nearest "living energy" planet as his heralds find them.)

Further, the Skrulls in SECRET INVASION apparently have (off camera) secretly been pseudo-scientifically manipulating themselves so that they can duplicate the powers of all of the Earth Heroes. This, of course, was the Dominators' entire scheme in INVASION - to capture and experiment on Earth's Heroes in order to breed their own metahuman army.

Ironically, Chris Claremont parodied the entire INVASION! storyline in one single issue of UNCANNY X-MEN (ironic because Greg Burgas just made mention of the issue in question in his latest column, "A long, strange trip"). Seems to me that if the God of Drawn Out Comics Storytelling can sum up this whole thing in one issue, What is Marvel actually doing here, spreading it out over 100 issues with the tie ins? Hell, Claremont did the pun of the "Jean Bomb" against the Gene Bomb in DC INVASION. And in SECRET INVASION? Well, Jean Grey's dead again, so they made Wasp a "bio-bomb" instead. But I'm sure if Jean were around, they'd have found a way to tie her into it.

So ultimately (and you'll just have to pardon that pun, seeing as how Bendis "ultimately" does little more then recycle Silver and early Bronze Age Spider-Man content for ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN), SECRET INVASION is just recycled comics.

And that's the real reason why it doesn't work. And even if it DID work, I suspect many readers would feel cheated, just the same.

Secret Invasion remains entertaining. Bendis is a wonderful writer.

I agree with Tungsten Man. I've been excited for every issue and have enjoyed them.

It's great that people like SI, but this discussion and Abhay's review would seem to demand a bit more from SI's proponents than uncritical declaration so personal pleasure or Bendis's "wonderful"ness as a writer.

Or, in shorter terms: wonderful how? And excited why?

Feh. My problem with Secret Invasion is that if the Skrulls had anything resembling effective intelligent leadership, they would have already conquered Earth. Instead, they’re led by a princess who blindly follows her religion and who seems to be more interested in bringing about the Skrull version of the End of Days than in actually conquering the Earth.

I’d claim Princess Veranke is an attempt to be a George W. Bush stand in, except that goes completely against about 4 years of Marvel’s direction, and it’s not like Bendis is trying to play up this comparison at all.

Wow, the description of a group without effective leadership but rather leaders who blindly follow religion and seem more interested in bringing about the end of the world as we know it rather than conquering and ruling? And your first thought is George Bush rather than radical muslim terrorists? Your first and only thought as to who that could describe is George W? I find that kind of depressing, but i guess the media is doing its job on the public then.

I also think they are probably a stand in for Muslim terrorists because of the scene where the bleeding heart welcoming committee show up.

[...] Invasion #7- So, Greg already pointed out Abhay’s stellar dissection of the comic in question. So, I mean, that [...]

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