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They Are Only interested in Two Things…

When it comes to determining what solicited covers need to be edited, DC seems to follow the Frank Zappa school of thought…

34 Comments

The turner cover is Liefield levels of ridiculous.

But is fuel for odd slash fiction worldwide.

I’m not sure why exactly, but I find that particular cover quite disturbing in a way that some other, similarly themed cover images aren’t.

Zappa had a song called “Breasts & Beverages”? Live & learn …

I can’t understand why they even bothered editing them in the first place it’s not like either of these books is aimed at kids.

“Breasts & Beverages”

…. Almost.

“The turner cover is Liefield levels of ridiculous.”

Why do you hate America?

That one on the left is the only comic book cover that’s ever actively offended my mom.

Random Stranger

January 15, 2009 at 7:22 pm

“I’m not sure why exactly, but I find that particular cover quite disturbing in a way that some other, similarly themed cover images aren’t.”

It’s that completely freakish spine on Power Girl. Really it’s poorly drawn in general but the mismatch of posing and body shape is horrifying.

Are women with large breasts so hated by the world that they shouldn’t be allowed to appear on the cover of a comic book?

Are women with large breasts so hated by the world that they shouldn’t be allowed to appear on the cover of a comic book?

Big breasts are sexist! They promote the stereotype that some super-powered kryptonian women have big breasts! It’s not like the men in comic books all walk around sporting L. L. Cool J muscles.

Seriously, the only problem with that cover is that it’s boring. You can’t blame Michael Turner for trying to use tits to spruce up a boring cover trend set by Alex Ross.

Power Girl has always had large breasts. Kudos on the side-boob on Black Canary.

And is that a reference to moving to Montana and raising dental floss? Because I don’t know what the Frank Zappa School Of Thought (Now With Added Moral Fibre!) is.

Am I the only one who finds those beer bottles to be unusually tiny in the second cover? Is that the edit?

Lemme guess; they edited the Action cover so Supes and Papa Supes are drinking ROOT beer instead of the real thing; cuz alcohol is just like kryptonite, right?

FunkyGreenJerusalem

January 15, 2009 at 9:50 pm

Are we sure they are breasts and not some sort of growth or tumor or alien egg infestation?

Because they don’t look like breasts, they aren’t really positioned like breasts, and they seem to be draining any and all body fat off of her body…

“Why do you hate America?”

Because America’s dumb and ugly. Stop asking that.

See, I would have guessed Stravinsky, and, uh…

Wait…I’m not holding my pickle!

Bravo, for the reference, Brian.

That cover on the left has plenty of reasons it’s awful that don’t involve breasts.

Not interested in the second cover…

The only two things of interest are on the first cover! :-)

Seriously though, even Adam Hughes never drew Kara THAT big… I seem to remember Bart Sears making them large, but they were in proportion to the rest of her (she was bigger and bulkier all over – muscle bulk) which made sort of sense to me…

That costume makes her look like an air-bagged Porn Star in a “Medieval Wench”™ outfit… One movement and she goes from PG-rated to X..

Okay, I’m a HUGE PowerGirl fan, but Swollen-Olsen-Girl-Cos-Players make me nauseous…

…and it’s not an anti-Turner thing… I loved him in moderation Fathom for example… but this… :-(

Yeah, that one’s pretty ridiculous. Looks like fan art. Sure, Power Girl is now officially considered to be “big”, but as someone mentioned, she’s occasionally in reasonable proportions.

This sudden new-found fame for Power Girl this past few years is something, isn’t it. I mean, c’mon, a rather high percentage is simply the breasts. Interesting that one of her more popular artists lately is a woman, Amanda Connor. (I think that’s the name.)

Yeesh, I’ve just noticed how wrong that body is. The entire upper body doesn’t go with the bottom half. Terrible.

Lemme guess; they edited the Action cover so Supes and Papa Supes are drinking ROOT beer instead of the real thing;

Close…they didn’t even bother trying to make it that subtle. They just badly ‘shopped on generic ‘soda pop’ labels.

The result is obvious, and silly looking. (Which makes me wonder if the artist didn’t think the whole idea was silly, and just botch it on purpose.)

Here’s an amusing anecdote regarding Power Girl’s generous proportions from an interview Amanda Conner gave to Newsarama back in 2005 (while she was doing the art for the JSA: Classified arc on Power Girl’s origin):

“It’s all in the boobs,” Conner said, laughing. “I’m not too great at mimicking the styles of other artists, but I know that Wally Wood was a boob man. Adam Hughes told me a story he’d heard about Wally Wood doing Power Girl. The legend goes this way: Wally said that in each issue, he was gonna make Power Girl’s boobies slightly larger than in the last issue, until the editors catch him. I think he made it all the way up to his 11th issue before the editors said, HEY!!! NOW CUT THAT OUT AND BEHAVE! I’d love to take a close look at those eleven issues and see what went on with that.”

I don’t know if the story is apocryphal or not, but man, I hope it’s true.

I quite like that there’s a super hero who has a distinct body type rather than just having the same figure as everyone else – though in the case of Power Girl I always go with the Bart Sears body-builder version. The problem with that Michael Turner picture is not the size of the boobs. It’s just the ridiculously bad anatomy that makes those extra large boobs look extra ridiculous. Adam Hughes could have pulled off that size without anyone batting an eyelid.

That moon is freaky.

At the risk of being the guy pissing in the punch bowl, I have to ask: At what point can we stop pretending that Michael Turner’s art was not universally terrible?

“The problem with that Michael Turner picture is not the size of the boobs. It’s just the ridiculously bad anatomy that makes those extra large boobs look extra ridiculous.”

Well, Turner didn’t have varying body types (his Witchblade looked the same as his Fathom who looked the same as his Supergirl, etc.), so he basically took what was his default look and slapped on a pair of saggy EEs.

“At what point can we stop pretending that Michael Turner’s art was not universally terrible?”

Until you figure out a way to revert Ed Benes to his pre-JLA form, because he’s waaaaaaay worse at this point.

Damn, Inside Joke beat me to the FZ Stravinsky nod. Nice reference, Brian.

“I got me two beers and a fistful of downs, and I’m gonna get ripped, so &%*#$(@# you clowns!”

Now I’m gonna have that song in my head all night.

Yeah. not Turner’s best work here. I think he had a really good sense of overall composition and design, but his figure drawing looks like…

Well, the ‘bove example. So having him JUST do Alex Ross style background-less pin-ups was probably about the worst use of his skills possible.

Well, as it was printed, the Turner cover did have the background that linked up with the other JLofA covers from the Lightning Saga, from which this comes, so the figures above were, presumably, photoshopped into the background that was on a separate layer. So even though I do agree that it’s not great work, it wasn’t intended to be floating on a black bg.

And it’s “I got me THREE beers…” from where I quoted above.

Hey Brian, don’t they pay you good for the stuff that you do?

Hey Brian, don’t they pay you good for the stuff that you do?

Well you know, I can’t complain when the checks come through.

Geez, I thought I was the only one who didn’t like Turner’s stuff. I hate to speak ill of him now, and I know he had a reputation of being a super nice guy and all that, but it always looked like a mashup of the worst of all the Image guys back in the Nineties to me.

…And as much as it pains me to admit it, I’m not as up on my Zappa as I should be, so would somebody please help the slow child in the group with the reference?

FunkyGreenJerusalem

January 18, 2009 at 6:33 pm

I know he had a reputation of being a super nice guy and all that

Hey, Rob Liefield’s apparently a nice guy, and he really loves comics… doesn’t make his art any easier on the eyes though.

Mike- I don’t want to spoil the dance around it that’s going on here, so let me suggest going to wikipedia and looking up Zappa in New York…

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