CSBG Archive
A totally non-comics, real-world post
- by Greg Burgas
- in General
- 19 Comments
Yes, I’m going to intrude for a moment. Forgive me.
As some of you may know, my daughter has a traumatic brain injury, sustained when she was 7 months old. For the past two years, I’ve been part of a support group for men who have kids with special needs, as most groups focus on the mothers, the assumption being that moms are the primary caregivers. Men, however, often get ignored due to the long-standing stereotype of men going out, earning the money, and being emotionally distant. Divorce is extremely common in families with special needs kids, however, and often it’s because the parents don’t know how to deal with what they’re feeling about the kids. Women have an outlet, and the founder of our group thought men needed one too. My lovely wife thought it would be a good idea for me to go, not necessarily because I have trouble with the emotional aspects of our marriage or dealing with our kids (I’m the primary caregiver, after all, so I spend the majority of the time with Mia and her sister and deal with them rather well, if I do say so myself), but because she thought I needed to get out of the house more, which was probably true. The group has come a long way since I started going, and recently we finally got a web site up and running. This post is just to plug that web site – Dads 4 Special Kids (it’s almost as if Prince named it!). We have a nascent blog and forums (fora?) which we hope to improve on in the coming weeks and months, but we also have several articles linked to about dealing with some of the more unique situations that come up with special needs kids. If you’re a dad with a special needs kid, I invite you to head on over and check it out – there might be something there you haven’t yet discovered, and as we get more people involved, we’ll get more stories about the kids themselves. One of the things that’s nice about getting together with other dads is swapping stories about what their kids are going through, especially when you can get tips from dads whose kids are older and give tips to dads whose kids are younger. And if you happen to read this blog, have a special needs kid, and live in Phoenix, I invite you to come to our monthly meetings, information about which you can find on the site.
I know Comics Should Be Good! has a large readership, which is why I asked Brian if I could plug something that has absolutely nothing to do with comics or even geeky pop culture on this blog. Don’t worry – I’m working on a post that proves once again what a huge geek I am! We all have real lives, though, and I’d like to thank you for indulging me every once in a while to write about the most important thing in my life.
Seriously – the most geeky thing ever, possibly. It’s coming!
19 Comments
Mike Loughlin
February 22, 2009 at 12:26 pm
I’ll be sure to pass along your site to the fathers of my students. So many of my students, past and present, are being raised by single mothers, but I do see some father’s doing the best they can for their children. It’s a testament to you, your wife, and the strength of your relationship that you have been able to rise to the challenges your daughter’s condition presents.
T.S.
February 22, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Awesome dude, I’m not a special needs person, but I’d wish my dad would be as caring as you are.
Crash-Man
February 22, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Keep up the good work, Greg.
Guy LeCharles Gonzalez
February 22, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Greg, this is great! My wife and I went through a similar experience when our daughter was DXd as autistic back in 2005, and while she found a great online community of mothers (several of whom have become and remain great friends), there was no similar network of fathers that I was aware of and my group of male friends were almost all single and/or childless, some ignorantly equating their pets with raising kids. I’m poking around the site now.
Brian Cronin
February 22, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I dunno, you’ve set the bar pretty high with “Death and Sex in Comics.”
But seriously, good work, Greg. Your girls are lucky to have a dad like you.
MarkAndrew
February 22, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Not a dad…
But speakin’ as a guy who drives a school bus full of special needs kids, there’s some really interesting stuff there. I’ll definitely pass this on to some of my parents, if the opportunity arises.
layne
February 22, 2009 at 3:14 pm
My girlfriend works with adults with disabilities and does some volunteer work with people with special needs – I’ll pass this on to her, maybe she knows some folks who could contribute or benefit!
RAB
February 22, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I’ve gotta say, as a reader of many years standing, one thing I’ve always dug about CSBG is precisely the level of engagement with the real world shown in posts like this one — or in Greg Hatcher’s Friday posts, for another example — and in the comments which follow. This post is a good thing.
Apodaca
February 22, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Anyone who would complain about this kind of reaching out and sharing a part of yourself is not worth worrying about.
Nitz the Bloody
February 22, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Having some neurological conditions myself, and being there to support loved ones who do as well, I can see the desperate need for this organization from both sides, and applaud you for your participation both within the group and spreading knowledge of it out here.
Bill Reed
February 22, 2009 at 10:45 pm
My manlove for you is great, Greg.
Greg Hatcher
February 22, 2009 at 11:54 pm
I can think of two of my student dads right off the bat who need to know about this. Awesome.
Graeme White
February 23, 2009 at 3:53 am
This is an awesome idea. As a father I can only imagine what you have to go through, but just the knowledge that a resource like this is available to fathers of special needs children is a great comfort.
It’s good to know that there are those out there who recognise that a father’s love is not necessarily any less than a mother’s.
The Dude
February 23, 2009 at 6:15 am
Damn you Greg for tearing my heart in twain!
I’ve had my issues with you in the past regarding your snarky comic reviews but after this you’ve more than proved yourself a good man and an amazing father.
Good job,man! I’ll try to spread the word about this website as best as I can.
Dan Bailey
February 23, 2009 at 6:49 am
Not a father, but as someone with a Down syndrome sister, I can only take my metaphorical hat off to all involved.
Greg Burgas
February 23, 2009 at 6:55 am
Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I guess to live up to the kudos, I’ll have to reconsider selling the kids to the gypsies …
Zane
February 23, 2009 at 8:15 am
From one geek to another….
Life can sometimes deal us outlandish hands …and to see someone deal with it as gallantly and heroically as you….hell, all superheroes aren’t on the printed page.
Peace to you and your family.
Blackjak
February 23, 2009 at 10:44 am
My cousin’s daughter has “Angelman’s Syndrome” something that I’d never even heard of before her birth.
Toughest thing I’ve ever seen anyone have to deal with.
My heart and soul goes out to you and all people in a similar situaton.
Keep up the good work. I don’t know if there is an equivalent support network in the UK but there should be.
And for the geeky bit – may your reward be finding a Mint copy of Action Comics #1 in a safe somewhere!
Best Wishes,
Tim
joecab
February 24, 2009 at 6:14 pm
What a wonderful site. I’ll be sure to spread the word.