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Cracked Shows How The Watchmen Movie Could Have Been Worse

Well, that’s the idea, at least. To be honest, some of the things in this are better than anything in the movie or the book. Like this:

DR. MANHATTAN grapples with THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION, the pair of them rolling outside where they grow to titanic size, striding across the Antarctic landscape, exchanging helicopter kicks and ion blasts. They lock in a clench, eyes burning. Suddenly THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION breaks his grasp, twisting his opponent around. From behind, he seizes DR. MANHATTAN by his DIAPER, yanking it violently upward. A CRY emits from DR. MANHATTAN’s mouth that splits the heavens. A sick grin spreads across THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION’s face, as he twists the diaper in his cruel hands. Suddenly the diaper rips, freeing DR. MANHATTAN. He falls to the ground and immediately sweeps the leg, sending THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION to a distant galaxy with his mighty blow.

Which sounds like Watchmen as filtered through the ISB. Which I believe trumps all of the literary and storytelling merit of the original. Hopefully Zack Snyder films this scene (and the alternate ending) for the DVD.

4 Comments

link?

Atonishingly, the Cracked parody of the initial scene with Rorschach and Dan a isn’t so far off from Sam Hamm’s attempt at writing a Watchmen adaptation back in 1989 in terms of taking Alan Moore’s writing and deadening it for a mass audience. Read that and you’ll find that in reality it really could have been a lot worse…

Graeme, thanks for pointing out Hamm´s script. It´s absolutely hilarious!

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