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CSBG Archive

Random Thoughts! (June 9, 2009)

It’s Tuesday! Again! That means only one thing… It’s random thoughts time! Get excited!

Random Thought! Rereading 52 reminded me of something in the “One Year Later” Superman story that’s always bothered me. Hal Jordan offers a powerless Clark Kent a Green Lantern ring, so he can be a hero again… why wasn’t this offer ever extended to Clark when he was Superman? Or why not Wonder Woman? Or any other superhero who isn’t just a regular hero in case, oh, I don’t know, something happens to the ring and you don’t have a defenceless person out in the middle of space? “Gee, shall we give this ring to a fighter pilot who has a habit of jumping into situations without thinking, or to that reasonable, level-headed Kryptonian who can also exist in the vacuum of space unassisted?”

Random Thought! Okay, not all that random, but I want to direct you towards my recent GraphiContent post on the ten best and five worst Joe Casey Comics.

Random Thought! While talking with my retailer, Tim, this week, I learned that, at my shop, Final Crisis outsold Secret Invasion. Both Tim and I were appropriately surprised.

Random Thought! I know a lot of people named Tim when it comes to comics. My Splash Page co-writer and fellow CBR reviewer is named Tim; both the owner and main employee at my old shop in London are named Tim; and my current retailer is named Tim. Weird.

Random Thought! Continuing my delving into my “Random Company Ideas Archive” file for various plans/stories/whatever ideas for corporate-owned superhero characters. This is the first chunk of an ongoing idea that I called “Deadpool: R is for Retard,” thought up as a Marvel MAX book:

Deadpool is the biggest retard in the world. Seriously, the guy is a fucking moron and the comic should reflect that more. In the past, the comic always focussed on these stupidly big plots involving all sorts of characters and shit, but fuck that. This comic should be like a sitcom or Aqua Teen Hunger Force or something. When other Marvel characters show up, it should be done in such a way that they are taking things very seriously, while Deadpool just doesn’t give a fuck and doesn’t do anything to help. In fact, he does everything he can to fuck things up more. Well, that, and he tries to kill them.

For this series, I want to make every issue half the regular size aka 11 pages of story with 9 pages of ads and for half the price.

Issues 1-2: The first story is a two-parter. The first issue is titled “Stabbing Is A Lot Like Having Sex . . .” and the second is “. . . You Stick Something Pointy In, Take It Out, And Repeat Until The Screaming Stops.” Deadpool has forgotten the joy of killing, so he goes on a cross-country killing spree to rediscover it.

Issue 3: The second story is called “Not Having Babies Is For Gays” and it begins with Syrin or Typhoid Mary or some other bitch showing up at Deadpool’s place with a baby that’s his. Instead of the usual “try and take good care of the baby but funny shit happens” story, Deadpool decides to kill the fucking brat. What the fuck does he need a baby for? His only problem is that the mother wants to raise the kid with him, so he can’t just, you know, shoot the kid in the face, he has to do it accident-style. What makes it more complicated is when he realises the kid has his healing factor as well, which makes killing it even more difficult.

Issue 4: The third story is called “The Golden Shower Age” and has Deadpool being hired to kill all of the surviving Golden Age heroes in the Marvel universe. It’s twenty-two pages of killing the elderly until all that remains are Namor and Captain America. So, you know, Deadpool kills them. Deadpool is actually hired by Reed Richards just to kill Namor, but Deadpool suggests that he kill a bunch of old people so it looks like a pattern and isn’t traced back to Richards. He wants Namor dead because his fucking slut of a wife keeps bringing that name up every single fucking time he doesn’t pay constant attention to her. What kind of bitch does that? “Reed, can we talk about my feelings for a minute?” “Uh, yeah, Sue, can we do this later? I mean, I’m right in the middle of curing cancer here.” “Oh. Well, I bet Namor will have time to talk about my feelings after I fuck his brains out in front of a webcam . . .” Who the fuck needs that?

Issue 5: The fourth story is called “Deadpool Does The Defenders” and is a continuation from the previous issue. After killing Namor, Deadpool is confronted by the Defenders, who want revenge. Highlights include him shooting the Hulk in the ass, beating the Silver Surfer with his own board, and setting Dr. Strange on fire.

I can’t remember when I thought this series up, but it really was whatever submoronic ideas came to me at the moment. Total “first dumb thought” plotting. I bring it up here only because I introduced my girlfriend to Aqua Teen Hunger Force this weekend and was telling her how that show inspired my ideas for this book… and she kind of liked it. Not the ideas specifically, but the tonal approach, which seemed logical to her. The title “Not Having Babies is for Gays” is a quote from the animated series Bromwell High. The Mr. Fantastic wanting Namor dead plot comes from my endless frustration with the Fantastic Four being heralded as such a great family when the wife has a habit of bringing up this other guy at any given chance to make her husband jealous and, in some cases, actually going off to spend time with that other man doing god knows what. Note that in issue four’s text, I called for 22 pages of killing despite one of the key parts of this idea being that each issue is only 11 pages. I am a moron. Next week, I’ll post more, which begins with the six-part “Deadpool Sex Slave Search (insert year)!” If it helps, I am rather embarrassed by large chunks of this.

Random Thought! Seaguy #3 was better than Batman and Robin #1.

Random Thought! I will be buying Captain America #600 on Wednesday next week. My shop is closed Mondays and they are none too pleased with Marvel. Neither is my old shop. Or, from what I gather, many shops in North America. Which is a shame only because the title is one of Marvel’s best books and it seems… wrong to see it reduced to these dumb marketing ploys. Then again, you can’t say that Marvel isn’t supporting the title, which is what we always want them to do with quality books.

Random Thought! I rather enjoy Brian Michael Bendis’s Avengers books. Not the best books in any given week, but enjoyable reads much of the time. It is possible to like them and the lesser-selling cult books. It’s not necessarily an ‘either/or’ situation.

Random Thought! That said, I can’t stand the way that Noh-Varr has been depicted post-Marvel Boy right up to his ignorance at what sort of group his teammates are in the latest Dark Avengers. And yet I buy the book, partly, because of the character. That’s really, really messed up. I feel kind of bad. And dirty. Mentally dirty. Blah.

Random Thought! This Sunday’s Extreme Rules pay-per-view was kind of… well, bad. The undercard matches were good, particularly the Chris Jericho/Rey Mysterio Intercontinental Championship match (then again, I’m a bit biased being a huge Jericho fan). That John Cena/Big Show match may go in history as the worst submission match ever. There was one major plus: Edge divorcing Vickie. About damn time, eh?

Random Thought! Was I the only one who, after reading Tom Bondurant’s ‘Grump Old Fan’ column on DC Challenge! last week, kind of had the urge to hunt down those 12 issues and check this glorious mess out? I haven’t done it yet, but I will at some point.

Random Thought! If I were to adapt a comic into a film, I would choose Red by Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner. I know it’s already being done, but, before that was announced, I put it on my “books I’d adapt if I could” list. The full list (as of October 9, 2007):

  • Et Tu, Babe by Mark Leyner

  • Devils by Fyodor Dostoevsky (a TV mini-series)
  • The Man Who Japed by Philip K. Dick
  • “Pearls are a Nuisance” by Raymond Chandler
  • Every Philip Marlowe story by Raymond Chandler (TV series)
  • Red by Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner

Random Thought! Reason #73 why I just can’t get into the Justice Society of America is that they’ve got a dirty old homeless man as one of their founding members:

Random Thought! In all seriousness, if they did a storyline akin to the Chris Jericho story where he kept calling out old-time wrestlers as glory-hogs and then beating the hell out them in Justice Society of America, I would be all over that comic. Then again, I have longstanding issues with these old men from World War II still fighting crime in the 21st century.

Random Thought! I’ve been thinking about this since I mentioned books I’d adapt given the chance (as I write these posts over the week whenever a random thought comes to me) and I’m not sure which Joe Casey comic I’d try to adapt. Many of them wouldn’t work for various reasons. I like the idea of doing a movie of The Intimates with a constant infoscroll and picture-in-picture shots for those panels that provide more information. But that book didn’t really have that much of a plot. Automatic Kafka also lacks a unifying plot — but it’s also a comic book about comics books in a big way, so a film adaptation would seem to miss the point a bit (*COUGH*watchmen*COUGH*). Doing Wildcats volume 2 would be interesting in that it would be a very post-superhero sort of movie where all of the typical superhero stuff happened in the past. His Deathlok run is a decent enough high concept to work as a summer blockbuster… sort of Terminator meets Big meets Primary Colors… The three of you who have read that run know what I’m talking about. Yeeeeeeeeeeeah.

Random Thought! Say what you will about Casey’s Uncanny X-Men run, but that annual with Ashley Wood and those two final issues with Sean Phillips were some damn good comics. Plus, he concluded his run with the best comic issue title ever: ROCKTOPIA PART 8 OF 5

Random Thought! The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson is my favourite late night talk show. I only mention that because the show just ended. It was funny.

Random Thought! Marvel’s Ultimate Alliance 2 Civil War game is kind of fun… except finding an opponent can take some time. I chose the anti-registration side, because… well, Iron Man is an asshole. So far today, though, the game has been VERY buggy. That has worked to my advantage since the game couldn’t log one of my losses.

Random Thought! It still bothers me that so many registered heroes in Civil War were fine with going after non-registered ones. You’d think a sizeable majority would go, “Well, I agree with this law, but I’m not hunting down Captain America! Are you insane?”

Random Thought! Despite working for CBR as a reviewer, I have no idea what the coffee stain over the logo means. Nor to whom the countdown refers to.

Random Thought! Wow, this is my longest Random Thoughts! post!

76 Comments

I would buy a TPB of DC Challenge! And I would challenge them to do it again with today’s creators. But then again, that is probably how Countdown came into being. *rimshot*

The three works of fiction I would like to personally adapt to film:

- Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, by Douglas Adams
- Cat’s Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut, shot documentary-style
- Seaguy, by Grant Morrison and Cameron Stewart– rotoscoped, and starring Ernest Borgnine as Chubby da Choona

My shop isn’t getting Cap #600 until Wednesday either. Advantage? If the big announcement is a bust, we’ll have 48 hours notice as to whether it’s a “must have” issue or not. This may actually backfire in the reader’s favor.

I really agree with you about Marvel boy being used for Dark Avengers. It was not really thought out that much by bendis.

I think Superman was offered the ring by Hal because Kal El of Krypton was originally going to be the Green Lantern of Krypton… though I could be misremembering.

i would buy that Deadpool series. not sure what that says about me, but there it is.

The Late Late Show is the best late night show on tv.

Random Stranger

June 9, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Yeah, with every year that goes by the founders of the Justice Society still being around gets harder and harder to deal with. I like the characters but keeping them active these days is such a cop out that it hurts. If they have to keep publishing them (and as we all know they do that in part to keep the trademark) then I’d rather have an Astro City style series about them where they’re placed in historical context. Let some creator plan out a history for a core group of characters and run with that for a while.

“Despite working for CBR as a reviewer, I have no idea what the coffee stain over the logo means. Nor to whom the countdown refers to.”

On the latter, the thing about being prepared to be pissed off makes me think it’s some replacement for Lying in the Gutters. The countdown looks like the one on the site Rich Johnston moved to before it went live. But who will this replacement be? I have no idea either.

Random Responses

Hmmm… I touched on a couple of points recently on my new blog, which to my knowledge no other human being has ever read. It actually feels kind of weird having just started it, because while I know its publicly out there for all to see, it also just kind of feels like I am writing for myself.

Seaguy # 3 was definitely better than Batman & Robin # 1. I prefer my Morrison relatively unconstrained by editorial control over licensed characters, so will almost always take his work for Vertigo over his DCU work.

I too also enjoy Bendis’ Avengers work AND smaller books like Captain Britain. And I’m sure we’re not the only two people in the world who feel the same way. I guess it is a natural response to blame something that is more popular when something you like is overlooked, like blaming crappy reality shows for the cancellation of better shows like Life on Mars, or Veronica Mars (come to think of it, maybe there just shouldn’t be any shows with the word “Mars” in the title).

I also would now love to read DC Challenge. Somewhere in the back of my mind I can almost remember owning an issue or two as a kid, but I’m probably thinking of something else entirely.

Finally, Bill, the idea of a Seaguy movie elicits only one possible response: “Da Fug?!?”

I’d sell my grandmother to read DC Challenge.

@ michael

I second that, I too would sell his grandmother to read dc challenge.

I’ve read DC Challenge — it’s indeed worth Michael’s grandmother!

Adam — Well, I’ll be buying Captain America #600 no matter what because I love that series, so the big announcement means very little to me in relation to buy/not buy.

If it helps, I am rather embarrassed by large chunks of this.

It does.

I dig the plots, and the story titles are terrific, but you overused the fuck out of “fuck” in your descriptions, which definitely hampered the delivery. Eliminate, like, 90% of the “fuck”s, and you’re golden, I think.

I haven’t read a Bendis book since Powers ended its run at Image. Almost five years ago.

Wildcat and D-Man need to throw down. Battle of the Bindles!

Wildcats, vol. 2, would work pretty well as a “what comes after?” type of story. We’ve seen so many damn origin movies now that it’s about time we get to the post-hero phase. 3.0, though, wouldn’t work today, given how vilified corporations are. But, yeah, Casey’s gritty stuff is probably the most cinematic. The “music video” chapter of Codeflesh is only possible in comics, but the series as a whole could translate well to the big or small screen. Nixon’s Pals would also make a decent flick.

Chelsea Lately is the only late night talk show I watch with any regularity.

I have no comics off the top of my head that I would adapt for film (although all this talk of Marvel Boy makes me think that might be a cool-looking movie), but for some reason I always thought two kids’ books would make great movies: Danny the Champion of the World by Roald Dahl and The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin. But what do I know?

You’re missing the most obvious Joe Casey work that might be a cool flick: Godland. Cosmitastic indeed!

Andrew Collins

June 9, 2009 at 4:44 pm

I’d rather have an Astro City style series about them where they’re placed in historical context. Let some creator plan out a history for a core group of characters and run with that for a while

While not quite Astro City-level in quality, DC did something like this with Roy Thomas’ All-Star Squadron and Young All-Stars series. Both featured the Golden Age characters in their classic context. Both were good comics, though Crisis screwed them up almost as much as it did the Legion books.

I love JSA myself, and have been reading it continuously since its revival in 1999, but I’ll agree, it is getting weirder and weirder to see men born in the 1910′s/1920′s still running around like they haven’t aged a day. It’s even more bothersome to me to think that ANY of them would have kids in their teens/20′s. You could get away with Hawkman since he has the whole reincarnation angle, but Alan Scott, Ted Grant, and Jay Garrick need to finally be retired I think. More room for the modern Mr. Terrific, Dr. Mid-Nite and others to shine in the JSA book.

And I would totally buy a 1940′s set book, especially if DC brought Thomas back to write it, but in one of his most recent interviews, Didio dismissed the idea with a craptastic answer about “only looking forward” with the characters. Fuck the heck??

I’m so happy “fuck the heck” has spread among the commenters here. Too bad Fire Joe Morgan is defunct, or we’d get more usage of it!

Now that Power Girl has her own series, Wildcat is the most underrated character in DC comics not getting his own series.

I don’t buy this “to protect the copyright” crap. I know there was one JSA title in the mid 90s before the current run (considering Justice Society of America and JSA to be one title because they pretty much are), but before that, when was the last time “Justice Society of America” was the title of a series? The early 50s? Maybe??

And they did that storyline with the young punk beating down the old-timers, except it was Randy Orton and it sucked because the legends are called that for a friggin’ REASON!

I liked your Joe Casey list. I need to check out Wildcats, vol. 2. I always kind of avoided it because I thought (for some reason) it would be much more mundane than 3.0, but you make it sound good!

I just noticed that coffee stain last week! Has it always been there?

Please don’t post any more of that Deadpool proposal.

FunkyGreenJerusalem

June 9, 2009 at 5:31 pm

That said, I can’t stand the way that Noh-Varr has been depicted post-Marvel Boy right up to his ignorance at what sort of group his teammates are in the latest Dark Avengers. And yet I buy the book, partly, because of the character. That’s really, really messed up. I feel kind of bad. And dirty. Mentally dirty. Blah.

Yeah, it’s great how Jemas didn’t like Morrison’s idea, and wanted something different, and when Morrison wouldn’t do that, refused to publish anymore.
You da man Jemas!

I loved this mini when it was coming out, and the other week, picked up the hardcover Marvel recently released of it – the original issues are god knows where – and couldn’t help but laugh at the blurb on the inside cover ‘You know him from Illuminati and Secret Invasion… no I fucking don’t.
Never read them.
Nice that they feel to tie in a Grant Morrison book to such schlock though.
Would’ve thought with someone like him, you make it look as though it’s as accessible and standalone as it.

Marvel should adapt that bitch into a film – only no one at MArvel Studios is allowed to have any input.
It’s too good for them.

(Also hilarious to see the issue with music recommendations – Primal Scream and Goldfrapp. I was shocked at the dea that Primal Scream were still going in 2000, and laughed that Goldfrapp was probably unknown to most when it was released).

As much as I love the Golden Age heroes I agree it is time to retire Jay, Alan & Ted. As another poster said Hawkman makes sense with the reincarnation angle. Since JSA is about legacy heroes you could replace Jay with Wally. Alan with Kyle or John. And Ted now has his own son to replace him.

FunkyGreenJerusalem

June 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm

Please don’t post any more of that Deadpool proposal.

I can post my old Epic proposal ‘Power Pack & Lockjaw: Take It To The MAX’ if you want.
It’s a MAX book, combining a fulfillment of the pre-release hype of what FF: 1234 would contain, with a Lost Girls type exploration of a pet being part of the family.
‘Four Mormon children at the brink of sexuality, one dog who can take them where they want to go’.

Craig Ferguson is totally under-rated.

And I second the no more Deadpool pitch.

Chad, I have a (dumb) question on your Joe Casey rankings. Did you rank “Wildcats vol. 2″ as the best of the best and “Wolverine/Cable” as the worst of the worst? Not that I disagree with those rankings; it’s just that the best list counts up and the worst list counts down, so I wanted to make sure I was reading them correctly.

I bought New Avengers: Illuminati issue 4 despite not buying any other issue in the series JUST because Noh-varr was in it. After reading that issue I decided, for the sake of my sanity, I should avoid any comic with him it. I know I should be over it buy now, but it bugged that heck out of me that the Illuminati kept talking about Captain Marvel as if Noh-varr should give a shit. He’s a Kree from an alternate timeline, what does he care about this dimension’s Kree legacy?

Plus the whole bit where they lectured Noh-varr about declaring war against the human race when their ranks include Namor and Black Bolt. FUCKERS!

As for the Wildcat: He’s not dirty! He’s Rugged! I eagerly (in a non-creepy way I swear!) await a Wildcat mini drawn by Steve Sadowski.

FunkyGreenJerusalem

June 9, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Plus the whole bit where they lectured Noh-varr about declaring war against the human race when their ranks include Namor and Black Bolt. FUCKERS!

So as a chap on a diplomatic vessel, shot down whilst in inter-dimensional waters by a government affiliated organisation, and he was wrong to see it as an act of war?

According the Illuminati? Yes and then they had Namor BEAT him to show how wrong he was for using violence.

Chad Nevett said:

“…a storyline akin to the Chris Jericho story where he kept calling out old-time wrestlers as glory-hogs and then beating the hell out them…”

Chad, you do know that wrestling shite is staged fakery, don’t you?

Mr Wesley said:

“I don’t buy this “to protect the copyright” crap.”

Mr, you meant trademark, I’m sure. Copyright is always protected (well, for the most part). Trademark isn’t. Don’t use a trademark, and you risk losing it. The ‘S’ on Superman’s chest is a trademark. If DC didn’t use it for 2 or 3 years, they might lose the rights to it. But I agree with your point.

Random Thought – I stopped reading the post and skipped to the bottom and agreed with your assessment.

PS – What I did read was a good post – hit the publish button too quick.

Trademark, not copyright.

Sorry, my bad.

Technically, Namor and Black Bolt are kings of non-human kingdoms.

Anonymous 5:53 — Yes, the best count from 1-10 and the worst from 5-1. I structured it that way to match Tim’s column. Dunno why he did it like that. Though it does mean you go from the best at the top to the worst at the bottom.

Lawrence — Yeah, Illuminati #4 bothered me quite a bit for its weird irony… Noh-Varr declares war on humanity and Namor is… mad? Because he’s one to talk.

Alan Coil — It’s staged in the sense that it’s scripted, yeah. It’s fiction just like any other scripted show on TV. Except with more athleticism. You can still appreciate the stories, characters, and performances like any other scripted show. That’s what I do.

yoo i see u got deadpool #6 going and i like where u goin wit the series so far soooooooooo i was thinking if u let me co write #7 wit cha?..heres my pitch..its got called “Not such a good day at the office(social security office!!)” At the end of #6 he randomly finds a social security check under the name SLADE WILSON for 20 grand. After losing all his money in a single game of “SHOOTIN DICE” in the hood(washington heights) he desperately teleports to the closet SS office near chinatown(picked up duck). As he walks in he notices 30 different non alist heroes and villans from the golden age, he notices one of the heroes in a walker wit his medication in hand along wit 2 viagras..deadpool takes the meds and has a mean “DEADpool O vision trip” of naked elderly gun packing zombies and fat puerto rican lady nurses wit dirty hair and red high heel pumps. Under DPOvision he murders innocent golden age heroes and villans. When he wakes up from DPOvision he remembers to cash that check, MODOK ends up being the clerk(oo shit) MODOK gives DP crap about knowing who he is and that he cant except his id bcuz he cleary sees that DP wrote SL over the W wit a black sharpie. DP moves to the next window where a pretty ass young asian clerk is on her shift and he tries his DP charm little that he knows thats the MANDARIN’s niece, he sleeps wit her(viagra included) and gets his checked cashed after banging her. As he finally walks towards the office exit he gets attacked by the MANDARIN and a pack of A.I.M agents, he beats all down walks out the ofiice and plays his whole check in chinese dice game and loses..O BOY DEADPOOL… DP kills everyone in the chinese dice game in a rage, takes his cash and the robs the bodies and comes wit the idea to bet all the money in a game of blackjack @ Herc’s Uncle PLUTOS casino in NJ…huhhuhhuh????

I can’t be the only one who finds this hard to read despite being in easy to read bullet form right?

Also, over the past several months there have been increasingly too many wrestling references in the posts (and I actually like wrestling). It’s become an annoying crutch for a couple different writers.

I tend to reference wrestling for a couple of reasons:

1. I like it, so it’s on my mind at times.
2. I find it similar to comics in the way it tells stories, its presentation of characters, and, to some extent, its fanbase.

I stoped watching wrestling after Owen Hart Died…”I am NOT A NUGGET!!!” that was the best writing ever. RIP the 90′s wwf was the ishhh

“Random Thought! Marvel’s Ultimate Alliance 2 Civil War game is kind of fun… except finding an opponent can take some time. I chose the anti-registration side, because… well, Iron Man is an asshole. So far today, though, the
game has been VERY buggy. That has worked to my advantage since the game couldn’t log one of my losses.”

Oh my god, fuck you for getting me addicted to this.

Regarding the OYL Superman Story; if Clark had all his powers at the time Hal offered him the ring, he wouldn’t have needed the ring. A yellow sun-powered Kryptonian is strong enough that a GL ring wouldn’t give them any substantial capability they didn’t already have; the offer was basically as a superhuman prothesis for a disabled comrade, and the best of the hero community at that.

The Guardians do have an incredibly inconsistent record of giving rings to those of worth, but Clark deserved the ring, and if he intended to become a superhero again at that time, would have needed it to survive.

Honestly? You should be embarassed by the Deadpool proposal. The way you used retard and bitch in there had me cringing and backing away. Severely uncool. This is the sort of thing that gets lots of people riled up, and ends in hurt feelings and tears. If I wanted that sort of offensive stuff, I wouldn’t be on CBR.

Adam K — I’m sorry. Are you pro- or anti-reg?

Nitz — I understand why they offered the ring to Clark… it just seems like offering it to him when he’s Superman would make a bit more sense — someone who doesn’t rely on the ring 100% in action seems like something the Corps would want.

The Mad Maple

June 9, 2009 at 10:52 pm

I will say this: your “Deadpool” proposal makes me feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better about the “Forgotten Heroes” one I’ve been working on. :)

(And hey, I’m a fan of Craig Ferguson and Chris Jericho, too!)

I, for one, would love to see those Deadpool comics. That baby issue sounds like the single greatest concept ever. I almost woke up my girlfriend by laughing when I read it (it’s 2:30 am here). I’ve never even read any Deadpool comics and I’m in to it.

This column has fast become my second favourite, after Comic Book Legends Revealed.
Fuck you firefox, I spelled favourite correctly.
Seaguy 3 was indeed better than B & R 1, though I still loved B&R1.

Michael M is such a RETARD..stop being a little BITCH(shouts out to Baseketbal)lmao..where did the guy use the words “bitch” and “retard”??

Hey guys im already in the mode for some marvel mayhem so I pre ordered marvel vs capcom 2 already…ahhh I need my fixxxxx …im such a fucking crackhead when it comes to this CRAP ahhhhhhh :( +)

I assumed that the Guardians wouldn’t give a ring to someone who already has superpowers, as that would give them too much power, which would lead to corruption. Of course that’s contradicted by Sodam Yat. Surely a ringed Superman would be hard to write.

“Adam K — I’m sorry. Are you pro- or anti-reg?”

Anti, like any good American.

Though it seems like none of those pro dudes want to play like, ever. Trying to hold on to their lead, I guess.

FunkyGreenJerusalem

June 10, 2009 at 12:04 am

Nitz — I understand why they offered the ring to Clark… it just seems like offering it to him when he’s Superman would make a bit more sense — someone who doesn’t rely on the ring 100% in action seems like something the Corps would want.

But Superman knows fear….

Which would mean Clark shouldn’t be able to operate it, unless his only fear comes from his Super powers…

I must read more Casey. I loved his Cable stuff. On top of having good stories and putting Cable to the best use ever (not that that’s saying much), it was drawn by Ladronn. La-fucking-dronn. What a man.

Now that I know Dillon and Phillips worked on Wildcats, I’m a lot more interested in that. While I didn’t enjoy what I read of his Uncanny run, I’ll try track down the issues you mentioned. Everything I’ve heard about Automatic Kafka leads me to believe that I must find it.

As for Bendis’s Avengers books, I dropped them after Secret Invasion. Sometimes they’re okay, but when there’s plenty of other good stuff out there I can’t justify spending cash on mediocre superhero books.

His use of Marvel Boy really rubs me the wrong way. For me, Marvel Boy’s story ends at the end of Morrison’s run (unless Morrison and Jones decide to do more). Bendis made the same mistake with Sentry. The original seroes by Jenkins was an entertaining and fun little experiment (with some great art), but it should have been left there. I expect Spider-Ham to join the Avengers any day now.

o.t.o.:
Michael M is such a RETARD..stop being a little BITCH(shouts out to Baseketbal)lmao..where did the guy use the words “bitch” and “retard”??

Well, “retard” is in the NAME of the storyline, “R is for Retard,” which shouldn’t make it too hard to find. And “bitch is in the first line of his third issue.

So there’s that.

The Man Who Japed? Interesting … I’m a major, major PKD fan — haven’t read Voices from the Street yet, but otherwise I’ve read everything of his available, the vast majority of it at least twice, & I’d rank Japed among his 5 least novels. And I’d say that’s a pretty common view.

Not that that means I’m right or in any way invalidates your idea, but it does make me curious.

Minor nitpick:

Wildcat was not a founding member of the JSA, nor much of a player during the Golden Age.

Isn’t anyone else just getting bored by Chris Jericho coming out and calling everyone hypocrites every week? The guy used to be entertaining, now he just whines every week. What happened to the days when the heels had the good lines? Now they’re all complainers.

comicbookreader

June 10, 2009 at 6:56 am

I’m glad I’m not the only one who really likes and remembers Mark Leyner’s “Et Tu, Babe.” An absolutely hysterical, over-the-top novel. I really wish he was still writing, but I don’t think he’s published any new novels since 1998′s “The Tetherballs of Bougainville.” Shame.

Also, I would buy the f*ck out of that Deadpool MAX series you propose.

Dan — Something about that novel just appealed to me while I was reading it. I can’t explain it.

Carl — Jericho’s current character CAN get a little tedious, but his in-ring ability (one of the few guys who makes the other guy ALWAYS look amazing — hell, his last two matches with Mysterio have been Mysterio’s best work in a long, long time), and his confidence on the mic still make him interesting. I loved his little tirade at Extreme Rules and how he kept threatening any fan who touched him as he walked to the ring. Classic heel.

comicbookreader — Have you seen War, Inc.? Leyner co-wrote that with John Cusack and another guy. I got it on DVD a month ago and it’s pretty funny. The only way I could describe it as Grosse Pointe Blank as filtered through Leyner’s mind.

comicbookreader

June 10, 2009 at 7:06 am

Chad — Thanks for the heads-up on War, Inc. I didn’t know Leyner co-wrote that and I’ll have to check it out now. I guess he’s been focused on Hollywood work these last ten years?

Also, thanks for reminding me about Joe Casey’s Cable run. Is that collected anywhere? Its one of those books I read and really enjoyed at the time, but that had just kind of slipped my mind later on. Its funny, because I’ve read most of the stuff on your Casey list, and used to count myself as a big Casey fan, but somewhere along the line his appeal waned a bit in my eyes. That’s probably based on his X-Men run, which I had really high hopes for but never lived up to, or even approached, expectations.

That’s probably why I haven’t checked out Godland yet. Its definitely on my radar now, though, and I’ll be picking up the first trade soon.

” Nitz — I understand why they offered the ring to Clark… it just seems like offering it to him when he’s Superman would make a bit more sense — someone who doesn’t rely on the ring 100% in action seems like something the Corps would want. ”

I realize that I’m splitting hairs quite a bit by getting into this, but the Corps have several members who aren’t ” helpless ” when deprived of their rings. Kilowog is the first to come to mind, but there are plenty of others with combat talents unrelated to ring-slinging ( isn’t there a rocky-skinned GL who almost never actually fires the ring, preferring to fight hand-to-hand? ). They may not have Superman’s raw power, but they’re not dependent on their weapon alone. Hell, even Hal himself would fall into this category, given his experience with sucker-punching authority figures :P

Ultimately the reason why the Guardians might not immediately give a Kryptonian-level power a ring is because they’d prefer a well-rounded military force to one lopsided with overpowered individual troops.

“Carl — Jericho’s current character CAN get a little tedious, but his in-ring ability (one of the few guys who makes the other guy ALWAYS look amazing — hell, his last two matches with Mysterio have been Mysterio’s best work in a long, long time),”

Well, aside from that AWESOME Edge / Rey match on Smackdown. That was great.

And, yeah, I agree with the sentiment that wrestling is basically comic books, except played out with real people. If you take a good comic storyline and make it work in wrestling, you’ll draw money. If you take a good wrestling storyline and make it into a comic book, you’ll sell. It’s all about building up strong bad guys and making people want to see the good guys beat them.

aboynamedposh

June 10, 2009 at 8:20 am

I laughed way too hard at the Deadpool proposal.

Regarding Casey’s best: I would love to read Superman as a pacifist. Does anyone know if those issues are collected in trade?

comicbookreader — Leyner also co-wrote three books about medicine meant to be funny. I recall the first one was titled “Why Do Men have Nipples?” Never checked them out myself.

Neal K — Casey’s Cable run is uncollected. But, you should (hopefully) be able to find the issues cheap. Just don’t forget to get issues 48-50 that James Robinson wrote since Casey took over the book mid-storyarc.

Stephen — The Edge/Mysterio match WAS pretty good… not quite near the Jericho/Mysterio matches, though.

Rebus — Those issues are uncollected as well. The funny thing is, if Casey hadn’t had Superman say he’s a pacifist in one issue, I don’t think anyone would have noticed (which points to how viable a pacifist Superman is).

I enjoyed your Deadpool proposal. But then again, I’m a sick fuck.

Chad & Dan, I’m a ‘Japed’ fan myself.

Chad, how did you get a copy of Marvel Alliance 2 already? I didn’t think they’d even announced a release date for it

It’s not the actual game, it’s just a fun little strategy-type game you can play with others. Basically, you pick a side of the ‘Civl War’ and then fight people on the other side for control of territory. Before each battle, you pick your four-person team and each character on the teams gets a turn each round. Fun and addictive. I seem to have found a four-character team that’s working (Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man and Storm) as I’m on a six-battle winning streak.

“Random Thought! That said, I can’t stand the way that Noh-Varr has been depicted post-Marvel Boy right up to his ignorance at what sort of group his teammates are in the latest Dark Avengers. And yet I buy the book, partly, because of the character. That’s really, really messed up. I feel kind of bad. And dirty. Mentally dirty. Blah.”

Man, I can’t echo this random thought enough.

Noh-Varr was originally set up as a super powerful, hyper-intelligent and arrogant super hero. With “modern” capabilities that have mostly been forgotten. I was really excited that he was finally going to be used, but every step of the way they seems to have missed the point. Bendis is really slowly bringing him down. From the Secret Invasion moment where he shows up at the big battle. Wasted opportunity #1.

So over looking the fact that he joined this new Avengers team, it has just gotten worse. He is being handled as a “low to mid-card” hero when the power set he had been given before should make him higher than that. To continue the wrestling analogy, Bendis and co. have failed to “push him” as strong as he needs to be right now. At the end of Dark Avengers #4, he gets a “you did ok kid” from Moonstone. Which just burned me, because he should be able to take Moonstone without a second thought.

And yeah, he’s being played too dumb. He shouldn’t be this easily tricked.

JR

Back in Action Comics Weekly we learned that Abin Surs ring grabbed Clark Kent first. Clark met the minimal requirements, but upon closer examination Abin found that Clark is not native to Sector 2814, and therefore ineligible to be the GL for said sector. To be a GL he would have to go back to whatever sector Krypton was in. In OYL the Guardians decided to make an exception.

Fiction I would like to see on film: Any of the Rogue Warrior novels.
Also, I’ve read a tv series is being developed that focus’ on Dick Grayson before he became Robin. That seems stupid and pointless. A better DG series would be a bridge between Robin and Nightwing. Perhaps with DG as a cop assigned to the Gotham Major Crimes Unit. Having had a falling out with Bruce he would be all over the “Get ‘em before the Bat does” motto.

Love the Deadpool pitch, although I think Lobo might have already covered a few of those plots. Ah, what the Hell? HOMAGE ISSUES!

FunkyGreenJerusalem

June 10, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Is any of Casey’s Superman work collected?

He’s got some stuff in the volumes for various crossovers like “Our Worlds at War” or “Ending Battle.”

FunkyGreenJerusalem

June 10, 2009 at 7:28 pm

I think I’ll pass then… crossovers are never the best time to sample someone’s run.

That entire era seemed to be overshadowed by ‘It’s A Bird…’, which despite my current (and coming out of nowhere) love for Superman is still one of the best Superman comics ever.

The GL Corps gave the ring to a Daxamite. Isn’t that the same as giving it to Superman?

“Also, I’ve read a tv series is being developed that focus’ on Dick Grayson before he became Robin. That seems stupid and pointless. A better DG series would be a bridge between Robin and Nightwing. Perhaps with DG as a cop assigned to the Gotham Major Crimes Unit. Having had a falling out with Bruce he would be all over the “Get ‘em before the Bat does” motto.”

True, but remember that the network it’s being pitched to is The CW. You can’t get a show on the air there unless it’s aimed at young teens, hence Dick during his circus days as the lead.

my shop isn’t Cap unti Wednesday shipment either, but they usually get their shipment in on Tuesday and they are allowed to put the Cap book out as soon as they get it, so they said they’ll have it sometime after 4PM on Tuesday.

oh wow, that deadpool stuff is hilarious, i think the issue 3 could actually work

hey chad…if it doesn’t work out you can always do your life story
L…is for Loser and the follow up I….is for ignorant.

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