CSBG Archive
Scenes from an Instant Message Window
- by Bill Reed
- in General
- 12 Comments
In which Bill pitches his new X-Book
Bill: Or maybe I’d launch a new series called Brand X that stars only the really freaky mutants.
Like a rebeaked Beak!
And some poor schmuck who’s made entirely of arms and eyes.
Ian A: ha ha ha
Bill: Frank Quitely will draw the covers, and only the covers, and the entire book will just be covers of Quitely drawing freakier and freakier shit until we get cancelled four issues in because the retailers ordered the first three months sight unseen and oh shit hey there’s no pages in here man, we just paid half the cover for some staples
Ian A: hahahahahah
“Five dollars for a cover?!”
“It’s oversized.”
“Oh.”
Bill: “Cardstock, bitches!”
“Why, sir, I say! Such balderdash. Terrible. I won’t stand for it. Do you have the variant cover?”
Sixteen variants, every issue, all of them part of one huge sixteentych that lines up with eight hundred freaky mutants all tangled together and writhing around like some horrendous orgy, different colored limbs poking out, daring the reader to open to its nonexistent insides.
12 Comments
Michael
June 29, 2009 at 6:28 pm
This has already been done. Its called “Morrison’s entire stint on X-men”.
Sebastian
June 29, 2009 at 7:07 pm
And it was AWESOME.
Ian A
June 29, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Ha ha ha ha ha. You’re so funny, Bill Reed
Joe
June 30, 2009 at 2:39 am
This is either too ambitious to work or genius enough not to fail.
But I don’t think Frank Quitely could handle a sixteentych a month, when he can’t handle 22 pages of story. One month in we’ll see delays and by the third issue we’d have to have fill-in artists to help complete his sixteentychs. Maybe if he switched off arcs along with other artists like he’s doing on Batman & Robin.
Ian A.
June 30, 2009 at 5:03 am
I have an impersonator!
Splendid.
Thank you for using a comma in the right place, fake me!
And, wow, yeah, I was pretty jovial in that chat session.
Bill Reed
June 30, 2009 at 7:26 am
I’d rather someone type out their manic laughter than write the dreaded “lol” or whatnot.
The fake Ian A’s impression isn’t that great, really. He’s got the grammar down, but the mannerisms are all wrong.
Sijo
June 30, 2009 at 9:57 am
How do you know that was an intentional impostor? Only a few months ago I posted in one of the CBR columns only to find that somehow my post was attributed to somebody else! Either someone played a prank on me, or that was a weird system bug.
Sijo
June 30, 2009 at 10:00 am
That IS weird!
Bill Reed.
June 30, 2009 at 10:01 am
By the way, remind me to post this hilarious zinger I said to the guy next to me on the subway.
Nick Marino
June 30, 2009 at 10:38 am
i’m really looking forward to this book, although i heard that Quitely’s already behind schedule…
Omar Karindu, with the power of SUPER-hypocrisy!
June 30, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Typing out maniacal laughter is almost as fun as actually laughing maniacaly.
Herm. Hee. Hee-hee. A-hee. A-hee-hee-hee. Hee-hee-hoo-hahaHaHahahahahaaaaaaa! HaHaHaHooHeeHooHaahaaahaaaaaa!
The Mad Monkey
July 1, 2009 at 12:23 am
Thank you for that, Omar.
The world truly does need more maniacal laughter.
Now…excuse me while I go yell at those kids to keep their damn ball off my lawn.
*grumble*