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The Pithiest Reviews Ever (Slightly Less Pithy Than Advertised)

Paragraphs and complete sentences; these things are unnecessary when reviewing comics. All I need is sentence fragments and pop culture references. Okay, there will be footnotes for the slow members of the class.

Agents of Atlas #11- All right!

Amazing Spider-Man #605- MJ: Fuck Yeah!

Batman and Robin #4- Yup.

Beasts of Burden #1- Aww!*

Blackest Night #3- Meh.**

Brave and the Bold #27- Wow, this is good. Wait; why? Batman, stop! Don’t speak!

Citizen Rex #3- Dropped! Trade maybe.

Dead Space: Extraction- Yeah, okay.

MODOK: Reign Delay- Marry me!

Uncanny X-Men First Class #3- Blarrgh!***

Wedensday Comics #11- Eh. Later.****

*This may finally make me drop stupid ass Buffy, as its all the paranormal comics I need.

**I just… I don’t care! I’m trying! At least trying to try! But I was flipping through it and there’s bit where old Firestorm is menacing new Firestorm’s girlfriend or whatever and I’m thinking “Yeah, Geoff Johns, I get it. I’m not needed here. You’re doing okay without pandering to me. You could have just sent me an e-mail.”

***Involuntary response to Banshee speaking. Funny, it never bothered me in the Claremont stuff, but it’s been so long since I’ve read it that I don’t know if it’s Gray or me. I literally can not read this comic, and I liked the first two issues. Of course, I could read years worth of stories of cultural relativism involving Nightcrawler and the Inhumans.

****Sure did lose enthusiasm for that at the end. At this point, all I can be bothered to want to read are Kamandi, Adam Strange, and Supergirl. See, I find Hawkman so lame that not even Kyle Baker and a T Rex can hold my interest for long. Well, I’m also looking forward to how quickly I can skim Titans. That’s fun. But Batman? Superman? Flash? Green Lantern? Zangief? Chun Li? Blanka? Hot Rod? Superfly? Dirty Sanchez? All of these serials are just playing out the string. The sooner this ends, the sooner we get the theoretically commissioned and awesomer WC 2, with Jim Steranko’s Mr. Miracle, Bruce Timm’s OMAC, Frank Miller’s Orion, and Adam Warren’s Zatanna. I wish they’d go ahead and just get that one out. That’s gonna happen, right?

17 Comments

I’ve been pretty disappointed in WC as a whole, but if you think Flash is “just playing out the string”, full stop: seriously: you are fucking insane.

Well, thanks. I just don’t care for it as much as you and the rest of the internet.

But hey, full stop! Classy!

Also; weren’t you the guy who was all “fuck you if you don’t get the Vonnegut references in Captain America” at Savage Critic? There’s a pattern here.

Furthermore! Why did you not come to the defense of Dirty Sanchez and Hot Rod? Huh? I’m disappointed in you, David.

And!!!! You are ignoring me, but no “oh yeah, that Timm OMAC, I want that too.” From anyone? How did all of you people ever even get here? Because Brian’s so committed and genial? Shit!

Brad – Wow.

Ditto. Is the message that we’re not needed here?

Short and to the point.

ALL reviews should be like this! ;-)

“At least trying to try!”

Do or do not. There is no try.

Omar Karindu, with the power of SUPER-hypocrisy!

September 20, 2009 at 7:23 pm

You’re a real pither, Brad.

Where’s your pith helmet?

I thought Dirty Sanchez really dropped off after week six, when it hit a bathroom wall and accidentally turned into a Stinky Hitler.

I hereby demand that Uzumeri get his own column — “Filthiest Reivews Ever.”

Okay. You win, Metron.

I’ve stopped reading Flash also.

I might go back once all the issues are out and reread it to see if makes more sense the second time around. For now, however, the story doesn’t even make any sense to me, let alone allowing me to decide if its good or not.

This, I suspect, may be entirely due to the first two issues of ‘Flash:Rebirth’ annoying me so much I’ve completely lost any interest I have in The Flash, so I reckon Wednesday Comics should get another chance once I have calmed down a bit.

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