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CSBG Archive

Randomest Thoughts: I Win!

Now that that’s over, and Nevett is soundly drubbed and crying in the corner, here’s some crap I can’t be bothered to find a unifying them for. So, yeah, it’s every post I’ve ever done ever. Get something to drink! Hydration is important!

Really enjoyed the two part story in Brave and the Bold 14 and 15. Hawkman was used perfectly, in my opinion; he used his archeology background, hit things with a mace, and did nothing else. Also, any comic where Deadman and Dick Grayson talk about their history in the circus gives my heart many boners. So I’m gonna have to get Blackest Night: Batman, aren’t I? Damn.

Also read some more Wolverine Omnibus. It’s always fun to remember that, no matter how big a geek you are, there will always be some X-Men continuity so convoluted you will forget it ever happened for your sanity. Like why Wolverine had to wear panty hose over his face and not use his claws for a while. Also; John Buscema. He was the man. He could make Razorfist not entirely laughable. Razorfist! He has razors for fists! How does he eat/poop/anything but stab people? John Buscema probably saw that, whinced, rolled his eyes at Claremont’s script, and still drew the hell out of Razorfist anyway. Because he was a real man, that’s why.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 remains awesome. Even Penance (who I will remind you is Emo Speedball and literally has armor that cuts him) is fun to play as. Especially when Deadpool’s on his team, because the hack writer in me imagines the conversations those two would have.

Does anyone else think the reason that Static Shock was not a springboard to more Milestone cartoons was Static Shock being an awful cartoon? I dunno, I could never get in to it, because Static’s voice bugged me. And I’m part of DC’s stupid, racist conspiracy of racist stupidity (or NAMBLA), but I was only ever there for that one meeting where they had free pizza. I was in college. I sat through worse things for free food.

One day, I’m going to collect all of my missing *s for an epic post, explaining where they all went. I’m hoping to bring on Geoff Johns to plot it, just so everything ties together in excruciating detail.

Does the Falcon count as a sidekick, or was he more of a co-star? Black Widow? Amadeus Cho? Some lists I made on Facebook depend on knowing these answers!

I can’t wait to hear what Dan Bailey thinks of Facebook. Really can’t.

I guess I have to suffer whatever Apodaca thinks, too. Oh well.

Does Cronin force some of you to comment on every single post, or are your jobs that shitty, or do you all have OCD, or what?

Oh shit, new comics are out today! Why am I even here right now? Later, jerkasses!

37 Comments

No Chris Sims mention?Are you sick?

I just picked up the Wolvie Omnibus this weekend. Looks like I am in for some good stabbing-related times. Plus, I would like your permission to create a dramatic monologue depicting John Buscema’s reaction to Razorfist based on your post, to be performed at comic book conventions and any other gathering of geekdom.

>>I can’t wait to hear what Dan Bailey thinks of Facebook. Really can’t.

I just got through responding to an old co-worker’s post about my creative way with profanity back in the newsroom in Little Rock, as it happens. So there.

Facebook certainly has its annoyances, but after my first day I’d already spent more time there than I had on Myspace ever. I think that’s the only other (anti?)social site I ever had anything to do with.

Is Ultimate Alliance 2 good? I was actually too much of a nerd for the first one. If I’m playing as Thor, I should decimate Bullseye in one shot, not have to bash at him with my hammer several times. I couldn’t get into that, “well, it’s a game and he’s the level boss” logic. Like I said, I was actually too nerdy for the game. Is the second one more consistent with the comics in that nerdy way that I love (for reference, I was addicted to Smackdown vs Raw 2009 all summer because it was so “realistic”).

Meanwhile, being old & easily confused, I would like to formally protest the similarity between your name & that other guy’s. Sure, “Curran” & “Nevitt” aren’t easily confused — except that both have two syllables, though yeah,I can live with that — but c’mon: “Brad” & “Chad”?

I mean, what are y’all, the ************* *********** (see above reference to creative use of profanity) CSBG Bobbsy Twins? Bad enough that half of everybody else here is named Greg. What next, “Kip & Corey,” or something?

All I know about you two is that one’s in Canada (presumably the one who spells oddly) & the other is in Texas (though the fact that you tend to put words together with something indicating at least basic intelligence leads me to believe that while you may be *in* Texas, which god knows is bad enough, you are in no wise *of* Texas).

I demand — *demand* — that one of you start going by either a middle name or just a surname (like Apodaca, who clearly has ceded all “Dan” rights to me).

Also, I see that you at least spell your name right. NevItt can’t be arsed to, as the Brits might say.

There’s not that much Dick n’ Boston interaction in Blackest Night Batman so far, surprisingly.. Which is a damn shame.

If we don’t comment on each Cronin post, he might turn the CSBG Time Warp engine into overdrive. Then, instead of only having all of the posts from today before he catches up with his daily series think they’re still yesterday, the effect could well spread until, as the prophetess Joplin once said, ‘Tomorrow never happens, man’.

The Falcon is a man-kick. Black Widow is what we call a “girlfriend.” Hercules is Cho’s sidekick.

Falcon is a tough one; he’s either a co-star or a sidekick depending on who is writing him at the time. Cho is a sidekick. But Black Widow was definitely a co-star. She had her own series in Amazing Adventures prior to being added to Daredevil & Black Widow, and I think the move was intended to prop up Daredevil’s sales, not the other way around. And they even did the old Laverne & Shirley “let’s move to the west coast to keep things fresh” gimmick at the same time.

Ultimate Alliance 2 is cool, and Thor is quite powerful in it. Probably too powerful, to be honest, I found using him to be a bit unbalanced in certain encounters. The main problem with playing as Thor, though, is the voice acting — he sounds like Ben Franklin in those “Ask a Freemason” radio commercials. I suppose Ben Franklin could also control lightning, though, so maybe it makes sense…

These responses are interesting, given the varied nature of the responses and the fact that my instincts concur with none of them completely. I’d call both the Falcon and Black Widow sidekicks, lesser selling entities brought in briefly in an attempt to boost the sales of a better selling character, then just as quickly jettisoned when that didn’t work so well. Their primary roles, barring a one off issue or a subplot or two, always seemed to be to run interference or provide back up for the main character. Daredevil and Captain America’s books are very much their own, with an “except for that one time” feel. I’ll buy Black Widow as a girlfriend, too. It’s not an either or question.

Cho is a weirder case, and probably the closest thing to a real partner on the list in terms of the actual dynamic between the characters. However, he’s not named in the title, Hercules is still the driving force of the book, and even when he’s outsmarting Herc, there’s sort of a parental vibe there.

The only solid mutual partnership in the Marvel U, is, of course, Power Man and Iron Fist, who had more success together than they ever had apart, were the driving force for storylines about equally, and who continue to enjoy about the same level of mid-range B-list success today.

Come to think of it, the mere fact that you know which one of a pair to ask the question about implies that there’s something less than an equal partnership going on there. Is there a word for “something between a sidekick and a partner?”

No Chris Sims mention?Are you sick?

And no footnotes! He must be on his deathbed.

The Falcon wasn’t a huge sales draw, but he had his own subplots, supporting cast, and (well one) unique villain. And Captain America CALLED him a partner.

Captain America is never wrong.

Also: I’ve never actually watched the Static cartoon – It never looked as cool as the last 18 distinct Batman cartoons (Future Batman! Batman in Space! Surfing Batman opens a health food store!) that I also didn’t watch. The comic was great, though!

I am actually every single commenter on this blog. If it weren’t for my commenting on every post, this place would be empty.

The “T.” personality is the most difficult to maintain. I keep expecting it to be too obvious that I’m making his dialogue as ridiculous as I can.

FunkyGreenJerusalem

September 23, 2009 at 6:50 pm

The “T.” personality is the most difficult to maintain. I keep expecting it to be too obvious that I’m making his dialogue as ridiculous as I can.

Yeah, you really stretched it with linking Greg’s daughter picking up a ninja into an attack/praise of DC/Dragonball.
It’s only funny when it’s believable.

Actually, he is, in fact, quite sick. How appropriate.

I didn’t like Static Shock much either. When I first heard of him I thought he was a crappy teen rip off of Black Lightning. “Why the fuck does Teen Black Lightning have his own cartoon?”
This was before I started reading comics again back in ’06.

Somebody please explain the NAMBLA reference for me, please. I don’t get what NAMBLA (the North American Man Boy Love Association) has to do with race.

Wesley: On Jon Stewart’s Daily Show, whenever he gives the name of an organization he doesn’t like, he summarizes with, “or NAMBLA.” For example, “The National Rifle Association, or NAMBLA.”

Hmmmm….Falc’s definitely a partner. Cho’s a sidekick. Black Widow was a sidekick in Daredevil. I remember her getting captured and rescued a bit. BTW, how does Cho kow he’s the seventh smartest person in the world? Do they have worldwide IQ tests or something?

Actually, yes. He won a soap box prize contest.

So who are the five smartest? Banner claimed he was probably the 8th, right?, and in the latest issue of Amadeus’s story the villain claims to be 6… so the top 5 would be Richards, Stark, Doom… who else? T’Challa? One of the X-Geniuses (Beast, Forge, the Prof himself?)? Not Pym surely? Who am I missing?

“Does anyone else think the reason that Static Shock was not a springboard to more Milestone cartoons was Static Shock being an awful cartoon?”

One of the reasons, sure. But not the only one.

Icon as a cartoon? Timm’s Superman wasn’t exactly burning up the airwaves, so why would a Black Superman with teen female sidekick heroine do better?

Hardware? They’d be better off doing a STEEL cartoon and play off the Superman connection.

Blood Syndicate? Well, first they’d have to change the name to STREET SYNDICATE or something (probably even more of a change because “Street Syndicate” still sounds more like street thug gang – oh wait, the Blood Syyndicate IS a gang!), because we know perfectly well the word ‘blood’ wouldn’t have been acceptable with the censors. Then, all the cussing would have to go out the window, as well as all the characters speaking in their ethnic tongues instead of English would have to go. Seeing as these are two main components of the writing of that series, I see no point in trying to make that a cartoon and then having kids try the comic (assuming they recognized them visually).

Xombi? That might make an interesting Adult Swim toon, but there was no Adult Swim back then. It certainly isn’t a concept that lends itself to Kids WB fare.

Frankly, you should be surprised Static Shock got made, not that it wasn’t a springboard for more cartoons. None of those concepts lend themselves to general audience cartoons.

Falcon and Black Widow both got their names on the cover, so I’d say they were co-stars, but Falcon was definitely in the sidekick role, while Black Widow was more of a partner/girlfriend.
Amadeus Cho is the star of whatever story he’s in. Hercules seems like the sidekick to me.
Mastermind Excello!

“Surfing Batman opens a health food store!”

I miss that show that never existed.

Also, I’m feeling better; I just think the Sims links and footnotes are so played out that I’m only bringing them back for special occasions.

“Plus, I would like your permission to create a dramatic monologue depicting John Buscema’s reaction to Razorfist based on your post, to be performed at comic book conventions and any other gathering of geekdom.”

I want producer’s credit, but sure.

“Ultimate Alliance 2 is cool, and Thor is quite powerful in it. Probably too powerful, to be honest, I found using him to be a bit unbalanced in certain encounters. The main problem with playing as Thor, though, is the voice acting — he sounds like Ben Franklin in those “Ask a Freemason” radio commercials. I suppose Ben Franklin could also control lightning, though, so maybe it makes sense…”

Thank you for that. I was wondering where I’d heard that voice before.

And now I’m just going to pretend he’s Ben Franklin anyway.

“Yeah, you really stretched it with linking Greg’s daughter picking up a ninja into an attack/praise of DC/Dragonball.
It’s only funny when it’s believable.”

I really wish I was still blissfully ignorant of the fact that happened. I really, really do.

I know this is nitpicking at this point, but I wanted to respond to something Andy said:

“I’d call both the Falcon and Black Widow sidekicks, lesser selling entities brought in briefly in an attempt to boost the sales of a better selling character, then just as quickly jettisoned when that didn’t work so well.”

I’d like to point out that Falcon first got his name on the cover of “Captain America and the Falcon” with issue #134 and remained on the cover (with the exception of #200′s anniversary cover) as a co-star until issue #222, a period of nearly 7 1/2 years. I would agree with someone else’s comment that there’s probably a middle ground between co-star and sidekick, and if there isn’t, I think we need to invent one. Anyone who fills that nebulous role could be called “a Falcon”. Cap is clearly still the star of the book, but in the stories themselves they are partners and Falcon does get billing on the cover as well.

I’m willing to concede Black Widow, though. Even though she entered the book as a permanent guest star with #81 she didn’t get her name on the cover until #92, and then only stayed there until #108. With or without Widow, this series was demoted to bi-monthly and was nearly canceled several times during these years, something that anyone who has had the misfortune of reading these stories can easily understand. The Gil Kane covers are about the only saving grace, along with a cool Hawkeye guest spot in #99.

Cho is a sidekick, though. And Stefan, Pym is one of the people above him on his brain chart. When Cho and Pym met in Mighty Avengers, Cho demoted himself one notch now that Pym had returned to Earth from skrull exile. And that and a dollar will get you a cup of coffee.

Co-Kick will work to describe Falcon
DFTBA

although maybe side-star would be better?
DFTBA

man-crush?

bro-mance?

i’ve got to get a life and get back to work
DFTBA

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