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Nostalgia November Day 10 — Primortals #1

Each day in November, I will read and review/discuss/whatever one comic taken from a box of some of my childhood comics. Today, it’s Primortals #1.

The Nostalgia November archive can be found here.

Primortals 1_largePrimortals #1 by Kate Worley and Scot Eaton is actually officially titled “Leonard Nemoy’s Primortals,” because someone thought it was a good idea to base a comic series in an idea by Nemoy. That person: so fucking wrong. So so so so wrong. Oh, that person was Isaac Asimov? Well, he was wrong. As this issue proves.

I hesitate to sum it up this way, but imagine if Transformers wasn’t about cool transforming robots and was, instead, about humanoid animals evolved from creatures taken from Earth prior to that meteor that killed the dinosaurs. Now, imagine that Optimus Prime was a pacifist that did everything to avoid violence? And that the humans, instead of being mechanics, were the people at SETI, searching for proof of extraterrestrial life. And imagine all of the cool parts of Transformers were also muted under horrible dialogue and scenes that lack any sense of drama, clearly acting as means to move characters from one point to another.

Far be it for me to jump on a character for choosing peace, but, I bought this comic in 1995 because Primaster looks badass on that cover. Instead, he’s a whiny leader afraid that someone will get a papercut, which results in the bad guys escaping and taking hostages — the head bad guy heading towards Earth. Optimus Prime wouldn’t have put up with that shit. You’ve all seen Transformers: The Movie, right? Optimus Prime is hardcore — he is a Decepticon-killing machine (no pun intended). This comic was such a disappointment as a kid. A cool-looking character that just stands around and does nothing. And also says nothing of any consequence. There’s no show or tell, it’s all… I don’t know what it is when neither of those two things exist.

I never bought another Tekno book again. I don’t regret that.

22 Comments

At one point, I inherited every single comic put out my Tekno and whatever they put out when they changed their name to Big Entertainment.

Mr. Hero the Newmatic Man was awesome, Lady Justice was alright from what I remember, Primortals was stupid, I-bots was slightly cooler, Mike Danger was the illest shit ever, Teknophage was weird and I don’t remember it, Neuro Jack was ugly as shit.

I kinda wanna go get all of these again just to see how I feel about them ten years later.

Oh, they were the Mike Danger guys? I liked that one.

I’ll admit, I liked the design of Mr. Hero… that was one cool-looking robot.

I also remember them running house ads for forever for a From Dusk Til Dawn comic that as far as I know never actually came out. That was weird. 90’s comics, you are weird.

FunkyGreenJerusalem

November 10, 2009 at 10:51 pm

Teknophage’s first storyline was one of the first stories I ever read where the protagonist lost and died at the end, and the villain, Teknohage, won.
It puzzled and confused me, but also made me feel I was reading something very different and mature.

Rick Veitch did the arc I believe.

Steven Grant wrote about Tekno comics either last week or the week before.
Apparently Nimoy was the most hands on of the creators, whilst Asimov was the least hands on, being dead and all.

That is a considerable handicap.

That’s just a rumor though. He might have Pac’d it.

Sounds pretty cool to me.

Actually Tekno did publish an adaptation of From Dusk Till Dawn in the form of a $5.95 prestige format one-shot. It’s pretty awful with bad art and a story that is as dull as the movie was awesome. Cool painted cover by Dan Brereton though.

The only Tekno series I enjoyed were IBots (love that George Perez artwork) and Mr Hero.

The Teckno imprint didn’t last too long either.

AND Nemoy is spelled NIMOY unless you were delibrately insulting him.

Nope, that’s just a case of me being stupid.

But…but….some of the aliens are anthropomorphic ferrets. FERRETS!

[…] #75 Nostalgia November Day 08 — Marvel Team-Up #148 Nostalgia November Day 09 — What The–?! #16 Nostalgia November Day 10 — Primortals #1 Nostalgia November Day 11 — All-Star Squadron annual #1 The Reread Reviews — The Death of […]

I still have a bag full of Tekno swag from the San Diego Comic Con way back when. Anyone want a highly collectible frisbee or beer cozy?

James Vance has been telling his memories of writing books for Tekno and what a nightmare experience it was. I believe he’s also talking about his late partner Kate Worley’s experiences too, and she had it just as bad.

(An acquaintance of mine was the original author for Primortals #1 and it went through numerous drafts — most with changes from new sets of notes that were radically different from the previous sets of notes from editorial — and finally he was off of the book. When it was published, in addition to some dialogue being changed, the entire book had its pages shuffled in order. And that was a minor change in the grand scheme of things.)

“Actually Tekno did publish an adaptation of From Dusk Till Dawn in the form of a $5.95 prestige format one-shot.”

Then that is officially the one Tekno book I’ve never owned or even seen proof of. Now I feel like I need it.

Chad, it sounds like you are saying that the Transformers movie was actually, ya know, Good or sumfin’.
As we all know, it was a tremendous pile of absolute crap! [Unless you are talking about the animated version]. Of couse, this comic actually sounds just as bad. Thanks for sharing the putridness!
DFTBA

I was speaking of the animated one, which was offically titled Transformers: The Movie — the live action one was simply Transformers.

FunkyGreenJerusalem

November 11, 2009 at 4:16 pm

I cried in the cinema when I saw that film.

I actually read all the Teknophage and Mr Hero comics and thought they were (at least) very good. From memory Rick Veitch, Bryan Talbot and Al Davison did a lot of the work on Teknophage so not surprised that it was a wee bit different. I enjoyed it a lot from beginning to end.

In case of Mr Hero thought first half dozen issues were strongest, but certainly liked all series…. substantially more than a “typical” DC or Marvel comic.

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You can always tell an expert! Thanks for cotutibnring.

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