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CSBG Archive

Temptation’s Page Voting Time!

A couple of weeks back I told you all about our new art contest – I give you an actual script page from a comic book and you draw the page. A whole pile of you (over50!) responded and now we have all of the entries to show you all!

The top entry will be announced Sunday, based on YOUR votes, plus a judging panel that will include Andy Diggle, the noted comic book writer who wrote the page in question!

Enjoy!

Before I go on, here’s the page in question again:

PAGE 6
1) The Killer FIRES right at us with the other Uzi; a deep perspective, in-yer-face image —

KILLER
EAT IT!

2) Batman DIVES through a narrow serving hatch which leads from the back of the living room into the kitchen; the trail of bullet impacts tracks him relentlessly —

3) Over the shoulder shot. The Killer aims into the darkened, open doorway of the kitchen. Blackness within.

KILLER
THAT’S RIGHT, FREAK! YOU BETTER HIDE!

4) Same angle. The Killer swings the weapon to the right, now aiming through the open bedroom doorway – straight at the BABY GIRL, who stands in her cot, watching quietly, oblivious as to what’s about to happen…

BABY
(jagged)
WAAAAAH!

KILLER
NOW THEN. WHERE AS I… ?

5) The Killer FIRES – just as Batman SWINGS IN from the kitchen door-frame, KICKING the Uzi aside! It fires wild, up and away —

KILLER
(off-panel right)
.OH YEAH …

6) Batman delivers a powerful and precise STRAIGHT-LEG KICK, his body tilted back to line up perfectly along the line of force, delivering every foot-pound of pressure straight into the Killer’s abdomen. The Killer flies back as if his butt was tied to a speeding car, the machine pistol spinning from his hand —

7) The Killer CRASHES back into a coffee table –

The entries are listed in the order I received them. Click on the name of the artist to go to their website (to let you know if they gave me a website, I marked their name with an asterisk)!

Douglas Nelson*

Emiliyan Valev and Stanimir Valev

Mike J.C.

Gregory Woronchak*

fl33c3 bot

Noor Rahman

Slim Whitt

Eugene Argent*

Jackson Edge

Rebecca Gunter*

Till Felix*

Steve Broome*

Steven Stockton

Gerard Straker

Chris Fequiere

James David Rees

Alfredo Lopez

Dan Budge

Daniel Glassberg

Taylor Stauft

Jacobus Dixon

c1_4w

William Drio

Drazen Brkic

Charisis

Mannix Francisco

Jason Welborn*

Alfredo Bermúdez

Reuben Hamilton II

Daniel Flores

Leigh Chalker*

Davinder Brar

Jason Book*

Gozie Morah

Ken Steven Chun

Francesco Silva

Chris Dodd

Jannick Choon Wai Teoh

Alexander Ryan*

Hughes Castonguay

Kevin Pringle

Jon Brown

Art Lenn

Dominike Stanton

Patrick H. Gómez

Alonso Nunez

Peter Fodor

Josh Strickland

Chris Caldwell

Tommy Saltz

Sebastian Jimenez

There are your choices! Now as for voting, I was just going to do a poll, but then I figured that ballots would be more accurate. So to vote, cast your ballot in the comments below. Rank your top five favorite pages (in order), numbered 1-5. Include ACBC in your comment somewhere so it will be a secret ballot. I will only count ballots that contain your top five choices. Don’t just name your favorite artist. Name your top five favorite artists (numbered 1-5). And include the codeword “ACBC” so it will not be visible to anyone but you and me.

I’ll announce the winner next Sunday!

219 Comments

Mannix Francisco

OmegaSanction

March 6, 2011 at 9:39 am

Rebecca Gunter

Granth Mohrisson

March 6, 2011 at 9:43 am

Chris Dodd

[…] EDITH: Jetzt sind alle Seiten online, und zwar hier –>Link […]

Wow. A LOT of people went off-script. Like, good god, waaaaaaaay too many face kicks (and even a punch) instead of the kick to ribs. And while that might not seem important, it kind of is. Especially in terms of what the contest is supposed to be. Also a lot of people who didn’t seem to factor where the letter would be putting stuff. Kind of an interesting experiment in that regard alone, actually.

Alexander Williams’ is fun for the JH Williams-esque layout, but the actual combat lacks impact and the leg on the initial kick looks…weird.

Love Gerard Straker’s Anderson Silva-esque front kick. Love it.

Rebecca Gunter’s might be my favourite overall. Just really great, straightforward comics art.

Jackson Edge’s colour scheme and funky layout interest me. Brendan McCarthy-esque.

Peter Fodor’s is neat, but the storytelling doesn’t feel too clear by the end and at times all the black makes it hard to see. Cool style though, and with work could be AWESOME.

And I don’t know if Eugene Argent intended it this way, but his has a really fun surrealist vibe, with hard edges giving an MC Escher type look to the house and the use of the baby being downright ridiculous…really neat use of the elements involved, if not in the tone needed for the scene in question. I don’t know that it works for the script, but it could be interesting to see a Batman comic done in a style like that.

I looked at all the contest entries without reading the script first just to see if I could tell what was going on without reading the script beforehand.

Way too many choices for me to make a quick decision right now, but I will say that a major deciding factor for me will be how clearly the artist was able to convey that the dark room with the empty door isn’t the same room as the lit room with the baby in it. Only a few convey that easily without words. Most of them look like it’s a dark room, then the light switches on and you suddenly see a baby inside that previously dark room.

I think much of that confusion came from people not understanding the “Same Angle” instruction Andy Diggle gave. I took the instruction as “keep the same camera angle POV on the room in both panels.” It seems other people took it as “keep the same camera angle POV on the villain’s back in both panels.” I think the former interpretation would have worked better to clarify that the room Batman jumped into wasn’t the same as the room the baby was in.

Tough choice, but I really like Ken Steven Chun’s,

rebecca Gunter.

There were some other layouts I liked as well, but her’s has some weight to the characters, and the panel layout follows nicely.

(Alexander Ryan = AJ Ryan)

Rebecca Gunter is my favorite as well. (I’m deeply biased)
She has a great layout teamed with fantastic pencils.
Her anatomy is spot on, as well as he technical details in the objects and backgrounds.

Brendan T, did you mean me when you said “Alexander Williams?”

Quite a few of these people definitely have a future in comics but I would like to see Ken Steven Chun on a bat-book immediately.

@Scud
Ken Steven Chun has a nice style and some fun ideas for layout, BUT the storytelling is muddy. I think, it would be really hard to understand what is going on in those panels if we didn’t know beforehand.

Jimothy Leendon

March 6, 2011 at 11:21 am

I vote for Jim Lee

Rebecca Gunter

March 6, 2011 at 11:29 am

Alexander Ryan’s page has a great layout, and shows that you can digitally ink without sacrificing character in the linework. The page also breathes really well, which would usually be difficult to pull off with bold lines and backgrounds in every panel. And if I can make a weirdly specific comment – I really like Batman’s abs and the digital camo on the guy’s pants – awesome touches.

Dominike Stanton’s work is so snazzy and clean – really gorgeous pencils, I would almost hate to see them inked over if this were in print. The shadows are especially well done and I’m loving the last panel – and if it’s not too weird to obsess on, the well-rendered closet door vents. Great action.

Alfredo Lopez created some eyecatching backgrounds with a lot of enjoyable personal touches – the stylized shape of the kitchen serving hatch, the exposed brick on the wall. I particularly like his climactic rib-kick-shot, and his inclusion of the murdered woman.

It’s really neat to see everyone’s takes on the script!

Jannick Choon Wai Teoh!

Mannix Francisco. It’s the best, no question. The only one that comes close is Gerard Straker’s.

Mannix Francisco

Peter Fodor

Davinder Brar

Stanton…all the way!!!!

There were some really good submissions here, and a couple caught my eye. For those that did, I would like to post some comments. For the rest, feel free to look at the comments I have for these guys.

Rebecca Gunter – Clean pencils. Nice camera angles in the last three panels, but the direction of the kick works against the flow of the panels in the fifth panel. The foreshortening of the legs is a bit off in the last panel.

Gerard Straker – Dynamics in the first two panels are awesome, awkward camera angle change in the second and third panels, timing in the fourth and fifth panel doesn’t make sense (fourth panel technicall shows the bad guy successfully shooting the baby, and the fifth panel implies the bad guy is being kicked AND is flying at the same time), nice angel on the last panel, but I don’t think it flows with the previous one.

Drazen Brkic – Good consideration of word balloon placement. Direction of the gunshot in the first panel may be distracting. Camera angle in the second panel makes it a little confusing to understand that the shots are coming OUT of the shaft, and not shooting AT the shaft, until you see batman coming OUT of it. Because a good sense of setting wasn’t established at the beginning, panels three and four can be confusing. Fifth panel is nice, but a different camera angle would make it more dynamic. Foreshortening of batman in the sixth panel is off, and the bad guy seems smaller than he should be, nice sound effect in the last panel, and flows really well with the previous panel.

Mannix Francisco – Nice clean pencils. First panel works, but the direction of the gun shooting can disrupt the flow to the next panel. The foreshortening in the second panel seems off, as batman should be much bigger since he’s in the foreground. Panels two and three work well together. Camera angle in the fifth panel is good but zooming out may provide a little more information. Panel five is great, and transitions well into the last panel, but zooming out a little in the last panel may make it a little more dynamic.

Going to have to come back to this later, but this is going to be fun to finish going through.

Quick argument with one or two of the comments. As a writer, I want an artist who is willing to make his own interpretations and additions to my script. It’s supposed to be a partnership, after all. It can cause problems if a story point gets muddled by the change, but the chance that it will be an improvment is at least even.

Alexander Ryan- Most developed submission, as it’s been colored, and looks very clean. Foreshortening of both the bad guy and batman’s feet are a bit off in the fifth panel, as batman’s feet should be longer, and the bad guy should be much bigger into the foreground. The last panel is SICK, but the bad guy needs to be much bigger into the foreground there as well.

Dominike Stanton- Another submission with nice clean pencils. Zooming in and out with the camera is done very well, and appropriately throughout the piece. First two panels are very dynamic. Second panel gets a little hard to understand, but the third panel recovers it. The gun flying into the foreground makes the fifth panel another dynamic one, but the foreshortening is SLIGHTLY off with batman (the head needs to be slightly smaller, and the legs need to be slightly bigger). The last two panels work well.

Alonso Nunez – Great lettering! Not only is it the only submission that actually had lettering, but it was done very neat and professionally. First panel is nice and detailed with the different font sizes in the background. However, it would be nice to see that level of detail in the second panel. The foreshortening of batman in the second panel is off too, as he should be much bigger into the foreground. Watch the perspective in this panel as well. Third and fourth panel work very well. The rest of the panels have nice camera angles, but the fifth and sixth panels have some foreshortening issues.

@Patrick Rennie I agree. And since we’re talking about a contest, where we don’t really have direct access to the writer to talk about the script, it’s even more so that some things will be left to interpretation. The “shaft” in the second panel definitely threw me off.

Also, I hope I haven’t offended anyone with my comments. I would appreciate it if people critiqued my work just the same, as I feel that it would make for a more meaningful experience, and produce improvements in next month’s submissions. I for one feel like my pencils became hard to understand at places due to the blacks, so I will definitely look toward fixing that next time around.

I think I’d have to tie it between Mannix Francisco and Alexander Ryan. All the entries were really good, but I like Mannix’s art and the way Alexander does the panels.

I mean, Alexander’s art and panels are great, as well and Mannix Francisco’s. However, what grabs my attention most is Mannix’s style of drawing, and the way Alexander arranges the panels and paces the action.

Correction on the last half of the first sentence in my last post. “as well as Mannix Francisco’s,” not “and.”

Have to say Mannix Francisco is my favorite. When do we get the next page? This was great fun!

Ok Eugene Argent gets mega points for not using the traditional bad guys hockey mask and the dumb baby t-shirt. I did lol. So many entries! Now to try to vote for one.

That Dude says

March 6, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Noor Rahman — First, good character design. Your Batman looks like a force of nature, something that would actually strike fear into the hearts of superstitious and cowardly criminals. And your killer is fat, which makes him stand out and gives him some visual weight when Batman kicks him later on.
I like your rendering, its tight enough to color off of in a pinch, but loose enough to let an inker interpret it. It screams late 1990s early 2000s DC to me. I could see you drawing Spawn or Nightwing in 1999 and not looking out of place at all.
Good angle on the first panel and great zooming out transition into the second. Word balloon placement in the third panel would seriously disrupt the flow of the page, but if you moved the killer shouting into the second panel it would actually improve the flow (which reminds me, I like the way you basically ignore the framing directions in the script and instead just draw what looks good, even if that causes some problems with the action). Its a bit of an awkward reverse angle transition between panels four and five, although panel six provides enough context I can sort it out. Same with panels six and seven, you can tell what’s going on, but how the two actions connect is not only a mystery, but completely counter intuitive. Panel eight is great, its flows really well from panel seven and Batman’s ready-for-action stance and little “gotcha” smile really sell the fight.
All in all a good page.

Mannix’s page is the best, hands down….Great job…definitely put me in my place. lol

a few of these pages are actually kinda bad…not like mine is da vinci…but cmon son

other things I like:

Noor’s page is pretty good…panel 2 was a little hard to figure out as far as the detail around bats….and the third panel is really hard to understand as was the last panel…but overall I felt this page was real solid and close to a professional level

Rebecca’s page is solid…some good lighting and detail but some of the figures/anatomy/proportions could be tighter….I really like the panels where he points the gun into the rooms

really disappointed that Gregory Woronchak* page wasnt more complete because it looked like some solid basics laid down

Taylor Stauft did the best at conveying the darkness of the apartment….

Gregory Woronchak

Even though I went off script a bit, I like mine the best. I realize that may sound arrogant, but what the hey :)

Oops, my smile emoticon didn’t work! Thanks Kevin and Roman for making my day! I left mine rough because I’m of the Old School belief that the inker should have some creative say in how the finished page should look. This contest certainly was fun!

Ok I have made my choice. Mannix Francisco almost took the ball home, he is a close second. Yet my winner is Rebecca Gunter. I would call them a tie but someone had to win and I happen to have a copy of Two Face’s coin. Lots of great entries but there were two things that stood out. Almost everyone nailed the opening shot of the bad guy firing his gun. The baby messed up all but the best entries. It seems drawing believable babies is really tough.

That Dude says

March 6, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Also, I gotta say, I think that, from a pure art perspective without taking into account word balloon placement and coloring (which can make or break a finished page), Davinder Brar’s page is one of the best and I would hate to see it get passed over. Its not the most polished page around (that would go to Gerard Straker and Mannix Francisco) or the most dynamic (Noor Rahman, hands down) but it has a great energy to it and its designed in such a way that it has an almost 3D sense of place, if that makes sense.
I think its because he designed the page so that the panels subdivide in ways that are never static, and the killer is always in motion until Batman is, a sort of reversal thats more Meta. In panel one he leans around panel two to shoot at Batman. Panels three and four might as well be panels three, four, five and six with our eyes tracking the arc of the killers gun across them in a single suspenseful motion.
And then Batman swings back through the heavily darkened door he just dove into, out of one static panel into another motion filled panel to kick the killer who is in third once again static panel in a way that drags our eye back across the page at only to stop it short so we can absorb the action’s impact (highlighted by the baby’s grayed out doorway).
And the last two tightly rendered panels (with lovely foreshortening, I might add) the killer is a rag doll bound by the panels and Batman has the offensive. Its a great three act reversal and IMHO the best action choreography of all the entries.

I would appreciate any constructive criticism that anyone would like to take the time to give. I’m always looking fir ways to improve my work. Much thanks.

@That Dude says Thank you for taking the time to do such an in depth critique of my submission. Thanks for picking up on all the things you thought I did well, as I was going for all the positives you noted about my piece; most notably, the fact that I wanted Batman to be a “force of nature to actually be feared,” which I think a lot of artists overlook, despite the fact that that was one of the major character traits that the character was built upon. Thanks for noting all the places to improve as well. Hopefully I can address these issues in the next page.

@Kevin Pringle Thanks for your critique. I agree Batman’s cape gets muddy in the second panel (one of my biggest errors on the page, among others..). The last panel is something I’m a bit more proud of, but I can understand that it too can be a little hard to understand… “That Dude says” does a good explanation of that last panel in fact, but I will definitely try to be more clear next time =]

to Slim whitt:

I think the actual drawings are well rendered, and I like that you drew your own tones.
I think the tones could have more character though, and the composition of the panels could use more creativity.

The most visually dynamic panel is the one with Batman behind the killer, about to strike. The other panels are drawn just as well and some of them have great action, but that shot is more visually interesting than the others.

Also, I feel like the point of view is either too close or too distant in several of the panels. I like the variation, but the extent of the zooming and panning is something I find jarring.

Lastly, and this is just about online presentation, I feel like your shading would have benefited from higher contrast. This is something that can be handled by an inker, but if you are presenting your own line work on the internet it would help to up the contrast in photoshop or a similar program. (I know not everyone has access to such things, so no big deal if that is the case.)

Ok Slim whitt I will bite. Dude get some backgrounds. Your character work is pretty good.. You had the bad guy firing his gun at Batman in the other room but all we saw was a grayed out space. Other panels totally lacked any back ground. The panel with Bats leaping away could have worked but seemed too wide screen compared to the rest of it. I hope you take this ok ….you did ask.

Noor, your page was great.

I like that you employ such a dynamic style and still manage to get the background details in without sacrificing the action.

While I think some of the panels are a little too busy, I really enjoy how much character there is in your line work.

Slim Whitt – Very nice and understandable pencils. The foreshortening in the first panel is great, but the black area behind him is left wasted. Maybe raising his right arm up, and arching his body a little would add the motion this panel needs to make use of the empty space in the back (along with some speed lines for some flare lol). The second panel is drawn well in terms of perspective and background, but Batman seems to be floating because he’s so straight in the air, and easy fix would to draw his path behind him. Also, I can see the gunshots hitting the wall, but I had to look for it, so maybe pronounce those more (or just add a hell of a lot more), and put the killers shooting arm in the extreme foreground to the right. Looking at the next panel, you realize batman was jumping for the door, and not the horizontal window, so taking that window out in the previous panel would probably make his destination more clear. Nice use of light to indicate the killer’s rotation toward the baby in the third panel. Panel four needs more emotion, if you’re going to take a strictly face-shot like that. Nice layering in the fifth panel, but the killer’s trigger hand would be a lot bigger, and more emotion is needed on his face once again. Arch the killer more in the sixth panel; you want to be as dynamic and far-fetched as possible in comics. The last panel is good, but if the table was broken, it would be more dynamic and meaningful, think action/reaction, and avoid stuff in the middle; that’s for animation. Hope this helps! =]

@AJRyan I agree completely. Will fix next time. Thanks =]

Thank you guys! I really hated that second panel and struggled with it. I’ll remember all your critiques and do better next time. Thanks again!

These are all really great. I know this is a pencilling exercise, but I’m fascinated by Mr. Fodor’s colors.

[…] You can vote on the contest Here […]

Alex Ryan. mos def

I like Dan Budge’s page…I like how the page begins as continuous action, develops through, and then ends letting you know that there’s more to the scene. I like that the vantage point of the baby is used more than once, too, even to end the scene, as Batman looks back in concern to baby, and arguably, at what’s to come next. These things set it apart from many of the other submissions to me.

1. Jackson Edge
2. Jackson Edge
3. Jackson Edge
4. Jackson Edge
5. Jackson Edge

This was so fun to do and alot of you cats have some pretty rad ones as well. I just can’t make Batman not psychedelic. Too many of the reruns of the old tv show I guess. Can’t wait until next month.

Dustin Venard

March 6, 2011 at 3:51 pm

jackson edge!

I think Steve Broome’s piece is worth singling out for praise.
The way he handled Batman jumping through the serving hatch was excellent.
His solution to that complex panel is probably my favorite rendition among those shown.

I wish the line work were better presented rather than having so much grayscale.
The shading overpowers the detailed line-art and gives it a CG look that feels awkward.

Noor Rahman gets my vote for sure.

…But if I had to have a second pick, it’d be Gerard Straker, because everything about that page is great except for the last panel, which just kinda looks weird. Dude’s got a great style though.

Steve Broome

@Adam Kirby Thanks =] I agree, Gerard’s piece is definitely one of the more dynamic ones.

1. Jackson Edge

arthur gordon scratch

March 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Chris Fequiere, obviously the most dramatic, dynamic, and great aesthetic too. Some details could be even finer, but, seriously

Chris Caldwell was interesting as well

Chris Kaufman

March 6, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Manix Franscisco or Gerard Straker; great stuff throughout though. You should do more of these

Noor Rahman

Nice One, Ken Steven Chun! c”,)

Francesco Silva

March 6, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Anyone willing to give some constructive criticism or advices for my piece? I would really appreciate to know what you people think I did wrong or what I could improve.
Thanks ahead!

Ken Steven Chun, I think he put all the details in this single page because it’s just one page if the contest would have been a 4 page it would be much better paneled. SO i vote for him! Good Luck!!!

i vote for ken steven chun… nice detailed work!

to Francesco Silva:

Using the Xs to mark solid black areas for an inker is fine if that is what you are drawing it for, but for presenting the piece in a contest like this, you would have been better shading in all those dark areas. I would also advise doing more to separate the panels.

Aside from that the only thing I would change is tweaking Batman’s anatomy on the panel where he swoops down. His upper body is too big and it looks over-exaggerated. The panel beneath it where Bats kicks the guy looks a lot better.

The poses are good, the action is fluid, and the backgrounds are detailed. Its a very solid page that would probably benefit from inking or more finished pencils.

Francesco Silvia – Overall, you have some nice camera angles, but you want to try to create more panel borders and avoid panel breaks until you’ve developed more and understand when and how to use it. Also, try to get a better grasp of anatomy, as it’s crucial in superhero comics. Nice foreshortening in the first panel. Obscuring the details at the front of the gun goes well with the speed of the bullets coming out of it as well as the light produced by the shots. Nice angle in the second panel, but Batman is way to small compared to the couch. It’s good that you understand to use the x’s to represent the spot blacks, but I think it would be much more helpful if you actually shaded it in to give you an idea of the finished product (I find using a lighter lead helps prevent smudging for this). Third and fourth panel are fine, but I would recommend splitting the panels to make it a little easier to read (and LOOK like a comic for that matter). Interesting camera angle for the fifth panel, but the foreshortening is off with batman; his legs should be bigger. Last two panels are okay, but they look more designy than a comic, so it would be nice to see some borders around them. Hope this helps. Keep at it, and ull get there ;]

Francesco Silva

March 6, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Thanks Noor and AJ! Definitely writting those advices down and taking them in consideration in my future works! Let´s hope this contest comes next month again to try and get better!

Steve Broome

Christopher Asuncion

March 6, 2011 at 7:24 pm

i vote for Ken Steven .. :)

Jackson Edge

Most of the artwork posted here are either generic or too simple. But what I like about Ken Steven Chun’s artwork is that his art offers somewhat fresh and unique.

His art has the simplicity that you could understand the story. Even though the Panels was too cramped.

And His detailed artwork also gave him the edge. So overall ….

I vote for Ken Steven Chun

fildrich ventigan

March 6, 2011 at 7:44 pm

ken steven chun the best work here .

Solomon Grundy

March 6, 2011 at 7:54 pm

This was all very interesting, but I think that Alfredo Lopez had the best look. Also, I thought Jacobus had an interesting look.

To reiterate, I’m not counting anything but ballots containing your top five favorite artists of the 51 entrants, numbered in order from 1 to 5. Add in the codeword “ACBC” to make it a secret ballot, but if you forget the codeword, it’s not a huge deal, as I can moderate it. I can’t moderate the other four votes for you, though, so that you have to do on your own. That is, if you want your vote to affect the results.

wahahahahahahaha

Do we just vote in the comments here?
My pick:

1) Gerard Straker
2) Dominike Stanton
3) Alfredo Lopez

1. Chris Fequiere
2. Davinder Brar
3. Alfredo Lopez

I hope none of these commenters (commentators?) ever took one of those tests where the instructions say “Just answer the first question.”

This was tough–the script isn’t specific about time of day, the kind of furniture in the apartment, the specific placement of entrances and exits, not to mention the build of the gunman or the make of his weapon–all of these choices and more were in your hands
These pages represent a magnificent effort made by every contestant–regardless of personal style, relative skill, nor command of the medium
That in mind, some of the entries show an extraordinary grasp of the language of comic storytelling, relating clear, economic, and entertaining action that’s as easy as it is fun to read

[I edited Matt’s vote out and put it somewhere else for counting purposes, but I didn’t want to take away his nice post, so I left it here, sans vote -BC]

Thanks to all for entering, and hope to see more work from all of you in future contests, and hopefully, in the funny papers
Cheers,
M

@Brian Cronin I think some people missed that since it was at the end of all 51 submissions lol. I think it might help to put it in your introductory paragraphs next time.

Steve Broome!

Could someone rip my page apart. Chris Caldwell (all the way at the bottom almost.)

to Chris Cadwell:

The figures look good, and the layout is visually appealing. I think your style is awesome and the heavy shading is very well done.

However, I feel like the layout is also confusing and the alternating shots of the thug aiming the gun don’t convey enough information for me to get what is going on without knowing ahead of time.

Batman doesn’t look very intimidating or powerful, which can certainly be a stylistic choice, but I think it would help.

I really like the way you drew the thug, there is a lot of talent in your line work and modeling.

On another note, I want to congratulate everyone on the fact that they read “How to Draw Comics: the Marvel Way” chapter on foreshortening! I am very impressed that you can figure out perspective…

If you want to make an impression on someone that could possibly look to employ you… don’t make a big deal out of having a rudimentary skill. It’s like going to an office for an interview and showing off the typing class graduation certificate.

Jackson Edge’s is great. I’m voting for it and so should you.

Josh strickland

March 6, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Yeah josh strickland all the way………….what…………….? ………no…….? damn thought this was american idol……. No It was cool to see everyones stuff. some strong entries for sure. Noor your entry has some cool stuff going on. I like how yours is the only “heavy set” murderer here. Alot of the “realistic” entrys seems t have alot of buzz…. always wondered if my “cartooney style hurts me or not. Ill comment on everyones tuff tomorrow when my eyes feel lighter :D

Steve broome all the way

Mannix Francisco hands down. The characters have a good weight, and move well. His layout isn’t as obviously inspired as some of the others, but his subtlety wins out in the end.

AJ —Thanks much needed advice, I knew i needed to change some things around but time got in the way. But hey I’m sure everyone was pressed for time. Good Job to everyone it was awesome to see so many takes on the same thing. Anyone else have any feedback for me I sure would appreciate it.

Steve Broome

Dang. That was difficult with so many choices. If there’s going to be that many (or more!) entries next time, I think I’ll pass on voting. I’m more for picking my top 3 from a list of ten. It will be interesting to see the results.

Jackson edge!

Reuben Hamilton II all the way his was the best and you can see that if your a real artist

Chris Caldwell had the best page I liked the story telling and pacing. Anatomy was great. Loved the 2nd to last panel with batman kicking the dude. Very Fun style.

Can anyone offer some constructive criticism on my page. I would love to hear ways that I can improve.

i vote for ken steven chun.. nice drawing very unique style of presenting the story… a little confusing on how the sequence of event toke place but still understandable

i vote for mannix,,the best!!!!!,

I gotta give it to Reuben Hamilton II

I vote for Ken Steven Chun
The Best Art Work…..

Noor Rahman did it like a pro
Dominike Stanton stirs up some action
Mannix my former officemate did a clean drawing
Gerard Straker nice drawing too

Dominike Stanton’s dynamic figures reminds me of Joe Mad’s style….

@Noor— I wished you review my entry…William Drio…It seems you’re more mature in doing a page…I’ll take it as constructive criticism…many thanks ^_^

@Josh Strickland
Your style is cool and that second panel is absolutely fantastic. But the transition between the third panel and the fourth one is a bit unclear and in the sixth panel Batman’s leg is all wrong from an anatomical pov ;)

@Gozie Morah
I like the way you draw Batman :D

I think maybe you should establish the room in the first panel from a different angle. Right now there are some perspective problems with Batman being too small and too close to the thug in that first panel.

In the fourth panel the perspective is a bit crazy too. On the other hand, the last three panels are pretty good. They are quite dynamic.

Hi,
anyone like to say something on my page?
Much appreciated!

cheers!

William Drio

[ Buen estilo si usted mira más cerca! ]
Nice art Style !!

i vote for Ken Steven Chun

Richard Purnell

March 7, 2011 at 6:58 am

My favorite is from Mannix Francisco. Its so well drawn, and it shows the scene very well. Thats hwere my vote goes.

@Noor–your characterization was great as well as your camera angles….the only flaw that I saw is your perspective….there is a torrent video on the net-basic form drawing by Scott Robertson…I learned a lot from that video, he explained itso vividly….I admire your work here…please look for it

@mannix–walang personalan ser ha ^_^–your work is superbly clean and well detailed…but you lack in dynamism.This is supposed to be an action scene….and the coffe table I cant recognized it anymore

@Dominike Stanton—This is what I am saying action in a real sense..I can feel it…I’m looking forward for this guy improve and become a pro some day

Mannix Francisco most deff

I like Mannix Francisco’s entry/contribution. Because the guy is really, really into the whole feel of it.

William Drio – Thanks for the useful information, I will definitely look into my perspective more and take a look at that video. With that said, your perspective is spot on throughout your submission. So good job with that. I love the clean but dynamic pencil work on the uzi in the first panel. I think yours is the only one that pointed it to the left and made it the most dynamic, nonetheless I personally preferred it pointing it right as to not disrupt the flow of the storytelling. You have some really intricate, yet clean backgrounds which is apparent in the first panel, but the foreshortening on the killer’s arm may be a little TOO over the top. Nonetheless, the added reaction by Batman was a great touch, and draws out the action. So good pacing decision there. The background and perspective are great in the second panel, but I would recommend you do the same thing I suggested to Slim Whitt in an earlier post, since you both have similar panels there. Fourth panel is fine, and once again, good job with the perspective in the fifth panel. However, despite the perspective working great, it doesn’t necessarily fit in context in the fifth panel, as it suggests a very LONG and spacious home, which isn’t the case in this scene. So I would probably keep the accuracy, but decrease the length of the hallway. Sixth panel is okay, but Batman becomes a little obscure because it seemed like you were trying to squeeze him in. I had a problem with this too, and one solution I found was to make his size much smaller in order to accommodate the kick. Be careful of the placement of the impact, because it seems like he’s kicking horizontally, but if you look at his upper body, he is swinging in diagonally. Last two panels are great, but these are the panels I would go an extra step to pose batman in a way that has a little more flare lol (because you’re at the point in these two panels where you can think about frosting-on-the-cake like that). Overall, great page; great perspective. Hope this helped =]

Ooooh, critique me, critique me!

@Noor–thank you very much sir!^_^ there is another video of him about how to draw cars

Joseph Olesco

March 7, 2011 at 8:28 am

Mannix francisco is hands down the best of the bunch.

I think Dominike Stanton killed the baby off-panel in panel 5 :)

dont know why my piece is not included here..anyway good luck guys!

I disagree with William. The point is everybody illustrated it how they see fit. It is not for us reader-dweebs to question what was left out, what should be in. The details are superb. Not just Mannix’s work, but everyone as well. Unless we see the previous or the next pages, I don’t think we can comment otherwise. We are just voting for who and what we like. I wish I could draw as well as you young guns. Good luck to allayah!

Alexander Ryan and Douglas Nelson.

Mannix Francisco – That guy is fantastic.

I vote for Ken Steven Chun

Mannix Francisco

Tomislav Sutlar

March 7, 2011 at 10:04 am

My vote for Dražen Brki? !

@screaming mango–oh I’m very sorry if i hurt your feeling about the guy.You see I’m just telling where he can improve more….I’m one of admirers of his comicbook art since I saw his work. He is my former co-employee (one of my superiors) at an animation studio here in the Philippines and he is one of the best entry in this contest…I’m not in some form degrading him…I thought everyone here is open minded…Im sorry,just ignore me it is just my opinion

@screaming mango-if you looked up my previous post MANNIX is one of my favorites ^_^ God bless!

@Gerard Straker–wow this another good entry…coolness

It’s interesting that almost none of the artists visited Andy Diggle’s website, which was linked in the original article. The website has the full script:
http://www.andydiggle.com/downloads/BatmanROE1.pdf
It has a lot of additional information: The Uzis are silenced and laser-sighted (I didn’t use the lasers either) and a batarang koocked one out of the killer’s right hand. -> A batarang and the Uzi are lying on the floor in the living room, and there are bloodprints, broken glass, a shoe on the carpet, halfway to the bedroom door and a newspaper under the window. The other Uzi is in the Killer’s left hand. (Well, yeah… On my pic, the killer changes hands between panel 3 and panel 4, but it turned out confusing…)
The mother’s body is there, but the script said “This should be an “all ages” book, so we need to suggest the horror of the murder rather than show it too explicitly”.
It’s night-time, the living room is dark, the kitchen is “black” (it was stated on page six’s description) and light comes from the bedroom. I think the blackness in the kitchen is important, because the Killer aims to the direction where Batman should be. He does not see him, but he thinks the dark knight is dead, that’s why he turns to the baby again. So, i don’t really like that a lot of people drew the kitchen from the inside on the second panel. (I don’t like mine either, the second panel is the worst on my page.)
Oh, and there are “happy, smiling animals on the baby’s cot mobile”. They suggest that the mother was poor but she really loved her child.

OK, these are not really important here, because we had to draw the 6th page and the it wasn’t suggested in the article that we should read the full script, but I like when the artist gathers every information before she/he starts working on the comic.
When it’s only one page, you has a lot of freedom. When it’s a full comic, all the little things can be important later. E.g. I really like Noor Rahman’s page, but the overweight killer is not really practical. (Later he tries to jump over a gap between rooftops.)

About the artists:

Douglas Nelson: It reminds me of old daily newspaper comic strips, brings smile on my face. :)

Emiliyan Valev and Stanimir Valev: Very colorful. :)

Mike J.C.: Is that a Batman Beyond costume? :) Panel six is awesome.

Gregory Woronchak: You need a good inker and it would be very good.

fl33c3 bot: Mirror the pages and we have the next Batman manga.

Noor Rahman: It’s really good. You should illustrate Spawn. Your killer = Clown (Violator), Your batman = Spawn.

Slim Whitt: Very clear art. I like the room on the second panel.

Eugene Argent: Wow! It’s really unique, but I like it. DC should make an “Adam West Batman comic series” and hire you to be the artist. it’s a praise not sarcasm.

Jackson Edge: You should do a Joker story. Very interesting color choices.

Rebecca Gunter: I like your panel six and your art but I would prefer to see a Spider-Man book from you.

Till Felix: Very dynamic. You should make a B&W independent book if you haven’t already made one.

Steve Broome: Reminds me of Jonathan Luna’s art. Second panel is very good but i don’t really Batman on the last page. In general, your backgrounds are very good but you should work on your characters.

Steven Stockton: Very clear pencils. It would be much better with inks and a little more shading.

Gerard Straker: Very nice art. Panel one, six and seven are awesome. Your Batman is very good. I don’t really like the killer’s mask, but it’s just my personal taste, nothing is wrong with it. My only problem is with panel five, it could be more dynamic.

Chris Fequiere: Your baby is the best, but it looks like a boy. The killer’s mask is kind of weird. I like panel four, it suggests that the killer thinks Batman is dead and the style on this panel reminds me of Frank Quitley’s.

James David Rees: It looks more like a webcomic than a printed one, but it’s not a bad thing. The killer’s head is too flat on panel six and something is wrong with Batman’s waist on panel five. Try to do some shading and draw more details. Oh, and interesting Batman design. :)

Alfredo Lopez: I don’t like the killer’s mask, but it’s not really a problem. Panel two is very good. The dead body is a good idea, but the woman should be more deformed if she was shot with uzis, I wouldn’t show her full body, maybe just her arm. (Actually, I show her arm on my page.) The last two panels are awesome.

Dan Budge: Too much staright lines. It’s like you used a ruler for everything on this page. Good job on panel two.

Daniel Glassberg: Interesting style but it’s hard to understand some panels. I like Batman’s pose where he kicks the killer.

Taylor Stauft: It’s not your fault but the pencils are too bright. The art is good, my biggest problem was that Batman’s leg is twisted on panel five. I like the cape on panel two. The first and last panels are good too.

Jacobus Dixon: Your Batman somehow reminds me of Robocop and it’s hard to figure out the order of the panels. I ilke the Joker over the baby. :) The art is simple, bu not bad.

c1_4w: Try to do more detailed backgrounds. You should practice drawing characters, the arms and legs are too short on some panels. I like Batman on panel five and six.

William Drio: Interesting perspective on panel one. Strange, but good. I ilke the room on panel three. It’s a good idea that you zoomed on the baby’s face.

Drazen Brkic: Panel one is good. The lowest bullet-line on panel two is strange: It comes in the kitchen, then mirrors back to the hatch. :S Panel five is really good and I like panel seven too, but Batman looks strange on panel six.

Charisis: The proportions are not really good, e.g. the couch’s arms on panel two. I like the way you draw Batman’s cape.

Mannix Francisco: Good art. Panels 1-4 are really good, I like panel five too, but Batman looks too fat on panel six and his ears are very short (well, it’s your design, but I prefer the longer ones). Oh, and I visited your page on deviantart and clicked on the X-Men sample pages. You are a good artist, but I didn’t recognize Emma Frost until she dressed up in her costume and I think it was the main thing your agent didn’t like: Emma Frost does not look like Emma Frost and Cyclops does not look like Cyclops on those pages. It can be a problem when you draw well known characters no matter how good everything else is. E.g. Greg Land’s women all look the same and I can’t tell who is who when he is the artist. So, try to adapt the look of the (franchise) characters when you draw them and you will be a very very good artist. But I see that you became better since then. Sorry for this comment, I’m an Emma Frost fan, that’s why I wanted to tell you this.

Jason Welborn: It has an ‘independent comic’ look. Simple, but good.

Alfredo Bermúdez: Panel five is very good and I like batman on the last panel.

Reuben Hamilton II: Interesting designs, I like them. It has a cartoony feel, with some changes, you could do a Batman TAS comic. My only problem is with panel two, somehow the jump looks strange.

Daniel Flores: Very very nice pencils. I don’t really understand the look of the killer’s mask, but it’s not a big problem. The last panel is too dark.

Leigh Chalker: It’s a very fearsome mask! I like your pencils, but panel five and six looks strange to me.

Davinder Brar: It looks like a Batman manga too. Panel five and panel seven are very good, panel six is strange, but I like it.

Jason Book: Keep practicing. Try to copy photographs and comic books but at the same time, develop your own style. Watch for details. I like the way you drew panel two. :)

Gozie Morah: I would be much better with some shading. And pay attention to proportions. The door should be much more bigger on panel four. It’s hard to figure out the order of the panels too. Batman looks good on panel one and two.

Ken Steven Chun: Nice art, with some flaws. The Bat-shadow is interesting on panel one, but I wouldn’t like it in the real comic. Batman’s head is strange on panel two and seven (but I like panel two). The three last panels are too dark and hard to figure out what’s going on.

Francesco Silva: Batman should be bigger on panel two, and the killer’s neck is too long on panel one. I like the last three panels (the killers arms look funny on the last one, but it’s not a problem and maybe it’s just me).

Chris Dodd: panel two is very strange. It looks like we see the killer’s back but he’s firing at us and it seems like the bullet hit Batman. The last two panels are two small. I like the kicking Batmans on panel five and six.

Jannick Choon Wai Teoh: Panel two is very good and I like Batman’s eyes on panel five. The killer looks good, but Batman has a weird pose on panel six.

Alexander Ryan: Good composition. Simple, but nice art. Batman’s pose is strange on panel five, but maybe it’s just your style. I don’t like the baby, but maybe she is just too small. The last panel is epic. :)

Hughes Castonguay: Very good first panel. Batman’s head is too flat on panel six and it’s hard to figure out what’s on panel seven.

Kevin Pringle: Too bright, but it’s not your fault. Something is wrong with the chair on panel two. Panels 5-6-7 are good.

Jon Brown: 90° :) It’s too small, next time rotate it. Batman looks good on panel six.

Art Lenn: I don’t think that the close-up on panel one was a good idea. Batman looks good on panel two. Panel four should have been panel one. Love the crying baby’s mouth. :) I like the last two pages but they looks kind of funny (e.g. Batman’s face).

Dominike Stanton: Very nice Deadpool on panel one. :D Panel two is epic. Panel three is ‘epicer’. Panel five is very good. The last two panels could be much more better, but I like Batman’s shadow on the last panel.

Patrick H. Gómez: Interesting panel composition, but you left too much dead space. I like Batman on the last panel.

Alonso Nunez: I like theart and the lettering. Second panel is very good. Batman looks good too, but his leg is too long on panel six.

Peter Fodor: That’s me. :) It’s hard to compare it to the others. I always color my work, without colors, my art is naked. I think it’s too dark and I don’t like my panel two and five. And a couple of other problems…

Josh Strickland: Panel one is good and I like batman on panel two, but it’s hard to understand what’s going on on panels 3-7.

Chris Caldwell: Good compositon and nice pencils. The character designs are very good.

Tommy Saltz: I like the characters but try to draw backgrounds. It looks empty without them.

Sebastian Jimenez: Interesting style. Not perfect for Batman, but I like it.

@alfredo lopez—i miss this guy earlier…nicely drawn too…good idea putting the dead lady in the scene…here is the last of my favorites

@Peter Fodor
Thanks. I would love to write/illustrate an Adam West themed Bat-comic. That’s one of my dreams.

@William So that’s Scott Robertson? lol Sorry for not recognizing him sooner, but I actually watched some of his video on how to draw cars in perspective, but because of other things I was focusing on in my art, I didn’t apply it much. But great artist, and killer car designs! =P

@Peter I really appreciate the critique….

speaking of which…

since we are all aspiring artists, this is a great platform for healthy critique….

Im open to all and welcome you guys to send me your 2 cents on my page…I know it needs work, but I want to know what YOU see and feel….lemme know PLEASE! it can only make me better

#tigerblood

@Peter Foder Wow! I tried to give some in depth critiques on the entries I thought were good, and then for anyone else who asked after that, but taking the time to critique EVERY entry is something. I actually did take a look at the original script, and it was definitely informative, but I did take my own artistic license for a lot of things lol both to my benefit and undoing, but I would definitely recommend reading up on ANY extra information given in a contest such as this. In fact, if you look up the artist for the original book, it was Whilce Portacio, one of the Image Comics founders, AND if you look at the published page, Whilce himself took some artistic license on the script himself (and personally a lot of the submissions were in fact superior to Whilce’s version, no disrespect to Whilce, but that’s probably because he had to do the whole book for a deadline whereas we just had to do a page =P). I actually did a set-up splash page that precedes my submission, which you can check out at my Deviant gallery at: http://noorrahman.deviantart.com/#/d3aanto.

@Noor I totally agree with this: “if you look at the published page, Whilce himself took some artistic license on the script himself (and personally a lot of the submissions were in fact superior to Whilce’s version” and I know that my pic isn’t perfect and script-accurate either. It was just an observation. I usually don’t mind “artistic licence”, somethimes the artist’s vison is much better than the writer’s. But usually it’s important to know what will happen later in the story. For example, you draw the first 21 pages, and on the last page the script states the main character was a giant hippopotamus in a Batman costume the whole time. :)
I ilove the set-up splash page. :)

@Peter Agreed. Thanks for taking a look at the splash page =]

Kevin Pringle – Exaggeration is everything in comics. I personally prefer toning something down that’s been over-exaggerated, than not being exaggerated, and falling short in the first place. With that said, the first panel is well done in terms of the foreshortening of the arm. I have preferred the shooting arm to point right throughout all the submissions, so it’s nice to see yours pointing right lol. However, the expression on the killer’s face can be more exaggerated. Great second panel; Batman jumping into the kitchen was done nicely, as well as the bullet trail. However, the chair should be much bigger into the foreground, as I initially thought it was a separate panel completely. I think if you ended it at the edge of the door, it would be just as powerful of a panel. Batman should be bigger in the fifth panel, but I like that you considered the twist of the killer’s body from the kick. It’s good, but more exaggeration would make it more dynamic. Batman’s kick in the sixth panel is great, as well as the killer’s body’s reaction to it (if you look at my submission, you’ll see I pretty much did the same thing lol), but I would suggest an alternate camera angle in both this panel and the last, to make it more dynamic. The last panel is great. Nice foreshortening of the legs, and this one even has a nice camera angle; you want to do this more in the other panels. Overall, good job. One tiny thing I would suggest though, is to darken your pencils, just so your submission doesn’t get drowned in the other 50 submissions next time (and that’s more a of a technical note, but definitely something to think about). Hope this helped =]

Kevin Pringle

March 7, 2011 at 4:15 pm

@noor….THANK YOU! I really do appreciate you taking the time to help me out with your input…seriously means the world to a guy like me….you got the #tigerblood

I look forward to next months contest…we should all be getting better and better.

[…] art contest/jam I told you about here? Well, the pages are in and you can check them out here. But be warned, there’s over 50 entries, and looking at the same page of script interpreted […]

@screaming mango—another thing i want to point out to you is that in comicbook art storytelling comes first before detail…look at alfredo lopez’s art it is not as good as mannix but the storytelling is better…even better than mine

Josh strickland

March 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Hey thanks for the earlier crits. If any one else would like to give me one I’d really appretiate it. Haha I’m the moron who gave the murderer a ski mask instead of a hockey lol. I’m on my iPhone so it’s ghats for me to give frites now but wil tonight. As a side note props to moot for his crites and vein activly involved in this thread. :)

my vote is for Dominike Stanton! Great job real professional!

Ken Steven Chun

March 7, 2011 at 6:02 pm

I guess i learned alot :)

My votes
1. Reuben Hamilton II
2. Hughes Castinglay
3. Kevin Pringle
4. Josh Strickland
5. Leigh Chalker

My votes
1) Ken Steven Chun
2) Dominike Stanton
3) Alfredo Lopez
4) Gerard Straker
5) Chris Caldwell

1.Noor Rahman
2.Dominike Stanton
3.Gerard straker
4.Alfredo Lopez
5.Mannix Francisco

John Alexander

March 7, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Mannix Francisco has a very unique/crisp style. Excellent! I like his Batman concept.

Kevin Pringle

March 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm

@angie you just earned a special place in my heart…THANKS!

Wow! You guys liked the exact same thing. You should exchange info. It could blossom into something beautiful.

Kevin Pringle

March 7, 2011 at 7:44 pm

@jackson

hahahahahahaaa

Josh Strickland – Overall your piece is super dynamic, which in my book is top priority. Your first panel starts off dynamic right off the bat. Love the expression, and the foreshortening of the gun. Second panel is okay, but the part with Batman jumping through the window is a little confusing, probably because the edge of the door becomes the edge of the wall/window where Batman is jumping out of. Love batman’s pose though, you’re definitely on the right track with that, but I would make him a little bigger to make it that much more dynamic and bring him into the foreground. Fifth panel works, but I would make the killer much bigger to bring him more towards the foreground. Same goes for the sixth panel. I would also choose a different camera angle for the sixth panel because it’s pretty much the same as the panel before. Last panel works. Love the way you made the killer’s face cartoony (I love caricature designs lol). Overall very dynamic, but work on your foreshortenings =]

Peter Fodor: Thanks for the critique! It was very helpful. I also noticed that the kitchen was supposed to be darkened, but maybe I could have done something a little different to make it more interesting. I really liked the coloring of your piece and the way it conveyed the mood. I’m in no position to critique anyone’s work, but I think maybe your piece was a little too dark in some panels. I had a little trouble distinguishing Batman in the second panel. On the other hand, I loved the the killer in panels 3 and 4. You have him “acting” in a very realistic manner. Thanks again everyone for the critiques.

Noor: I checked out your splash page and liked it a lot! Very dynamic! I actually liked it better than your contest page. Please don’t take that the wrong way, it was good too. I agree that you’d be good on a Spawn comic.

Rebecca Gunter

@ Slim Whitt Thanks for taking a look at that lol, and no I don’t mind (I agree). My submission was like the first comic page I pencilled in a while, and I wasn’t completely satisfied with it (or my past pages for that matter). But that splash page I did AFTER I drew the submission and I feel it was MUCH better, and I feel I improved a lot between the two, and I intend to improve even more for next months contest =]

@noor rahman–I saw your other artworks you are really good…Slim whitt’s right, Mr.Mcfarlane should hire you as new artist of Spawn

Jackson Edge – Your piece is definitely the most moody and surreal. The first panel is good, but parts of the anatomy “dangles”, like the left arm. The right arm also kinda slouches downward, and both these things make your composition lose energy, and making it dynamic is what I go for, but then again you were going for more surreal, in which case anything goes… Nonetheless, I’ll be looking at it in a more general comic sense. Second panel conveys the idea of Batman swinging through a window, but I think he’d be much bigger. Second and third panel gets tricky, I understand what you’re trying to do, but it looks like two people at first sight. Perhaps make his legs at the center converge into one as to convey the idea that it’s the same guy (it shouldn’t be a problem since the whole page is surreal anyway). I love how you can see batman’s eyes in the window though. The fourth panel is a little hard to understand because of a few things. The main thing is the extreme warped foreshortening, even so, Batman would be smaller than the killer since he’s coming from the back, and I think the gun would come out of the killer’s hand from a kick from Batman lol. Last panel actually works despite the warped foreshortening because the size of batman and the killer makes sense there. Taking a more surreal and warped direction isn’t a bad idea, but certain things have to be constant so it makes it tricky to discern what to do and what not to. But overall a very daring and interesting piece =]

@William Thanks guys. Spawn and Todd McFarlane are a big influence for me, but Greg Capullo, from whom I’ve learned a lot and have studied, has actually done everything I would ever have thought of for that character. I think Todd and I both agree he was the definitive artist on Spawn, so I really don’t see anything more to say in the Spawn universe for me.

@Peter Fodor and @Kevin Pringle thanks for the critiques, I appreciate it. Next month’s will be better.

@Noor Awesome man. This was my first page of sequential art ever, and I think I’m in love with the art-form. I’ve been hemorrhaging pages ever since. I was going more for effeminate and over gesturing than slouchy on the killer(whom I imagined the dandy lil’ skin head with his fancy zebra mask) ;and thought the shared gun-smoke and boot heel would work in the third panel sans anatomy sharing, but maybe your right. I really enjoyed compressing the characterizations and world building into a page in the middle of a script with just the hint of description of what’s going on outside of that. My scrawny Bats is like second year into being Batman, and very well might have not kicked the gun out of the killer duder’s hand. I was trying to show it right at impact. Your page is pretty rad too. Really reminds me of when of the second generation stuff coming out of Image when I was a kid and just about to take my rock n’ drug induced hiatus from comics. Not my bag stylistically, but I really like your really spry for being morbidly obese killer, speed lines for days, wicked fat babay, and Batman having a MAXXesque knife arm shield thingy and stubble. Only critiques would be maybe to not be afraid to show some type of emoting somewhere in your characters expressions or body language, give us a little bit of background with your settings or be more careful with it’s design(this would help with discrepancies like shifting in the killer’s locale in panels 3 and 6) , and the killer looks maybe three and a half feet tall in panels 2,3, and 6(that might have been a stylistic choice though…or maybe the apartment is huge). Good show though , good luck with the contest, and can’t wait to see your stuff next time.

@Peter Fodor Thx for your feedback :)

Gerard Straker is the only one who stayed on script. So he gets my vote. Mannix Francisco’s is very well rendered but lots of empty space that could have looked better with more detail.

@Jackson Edge Thanks =]

Daniel Flores

March 8, 2011 at 7:44 am

@Peter Fodor – Thanks for the crit. The mask is a modern goalie mask. I didn’t want to go with the classic ‘Jason-esque’ goalie mask, even though I’m pretty sure that’s what was being called for.

The last panel is very dark, I think had I used speed lines instead of just darkening the room, it would have shown more action of the antagonist falling/crashing through the table.

For those of you who haven’t seen it already, Mr.Cronin has posted the original published page, by Whilce Portacio here: http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2011/03/07/whilce-portacios-take-on-batman-confidential-1-page-6/

Is it just me or did alonso nunez swipe 2 panels (3 and 4) from Chris fequiere (5 and 6)

my vote goes to davinder brar

“Gerard Straker is the only one who stayed on script. So he gets my vote”

That is a pretty blatantly false statement.

Straker’s page is excellent, easily one of the best, but he took several liberties with the script just like everyone else.

Dominike Stanton.

mannix francisco.
and i would love to see it inked and colored

Mannix Francisco. Very well done.

Can’t wait to see the next contest!

Davinder Brar

mannix francisco’s entry is the best!

@NOOR–another thing seems off to your page,the separation of blacks..front object’s black is being absorbed by the blacks of the back object..it is somewhat confusing

comicbook art is like culinary art and the comicbook artists are like chefs…They are obliged to make food presentable,more pleasant to the eye…But they must not forget that they should create a tasteful storytelling, which is the main reason…For the delight of the reader’s taste buds ^_^

id like to share this link to the batman page i made which i turned in last saturday but unfortunately it didnt find its way into this contest.

http://jpadre.deviantart.com/art/batman-confidential-200187207

@William I agree lol, will definitely look into that next time. Doing a Batman comic is actually pretty tricky in many ways. In a scene like this (or any scene really) Batman’s usually in a dark environment, and at the same time he has a dark costume, so it’s a challenge to not make him blend into the background, which I had trouble with apparently. It’s also a challenge to color (if any of you have read “DC Comics Guide to Coloring and Lettering Comics”; great book btw, despite the title it has a lot of universal information in terms of color theory that can be applied to any type of art) since warm colors tend to come towards the foreground, and yet Batman is mainly dark colors, it becomes tricky to prevent him from receding into the background, as opposed to characters like Daredevil whose costumes lend themselves to being easily brought toward the foreground… So it’s definitely a tricky character to work with, but definitely rewarding when pulled off correctly (Alex Sinclair does a pretty good job at this, with Jim Lee on the Batman Hish run) =]

@Jerome Sorry to hear about your submission not making it into the contest, but definitely try again next month (if the contest continues which I think a lot of people have shown interest for), and try to submit it earlier. Not just to make it in, but it will also grant you a space towards the top since it’s in order of reception. I also noticed our layouts were very similar lol, so that was cool. Overall, good job; love the money shot (panel 6) =]

thanks noor. i did notice the similarities in our layouts. i posted the link because i just want to show my stuff .good or bad comment is welcome…though i dont know why someone with an alias of jacksonjedge hate my page so much…god bless you jj

@Noor–That’s ok youre still on top of my list. I love the way you depicted the page in dark and edgy style.I also have that book but partly read it…The book that I read from cover to back that so remarkable to me is Making Comics by Scott McCloud.It’s like watching a documentary film about comicbooks.It is more on how to tell a your story effectively.That guy is a genius…You should grab a copy of that book,it’s a good read.I’m still polishing my skills, how i wished i could draw a page like you guys

@William Don’t sweat it, you’ll get there. All of the entrants need some more work before they can say they’re pro me included without a doubt. A lot of it is also because we’re NOT pro already lol, so like we don’t have to worry about deadlines, so our work output is substantially less than someone in the industry who has to produce a page a day, so what it really comes down to is getting good enough to get your foot into the industry, and once you’re in you’ll be in a position to be ABLE to go the extra mile. I’ve read Scott McCloud’s book and I agree it’s a universal, in-depth, look at comics, and it’s used by colleges and professionals in other industries as well. You should look through the DC Coloring book though as it has valuable information on color theory and uses examples from comics to make it interesting lol.

i vote for mannix francisco

i vote for mannix francisco

somebody told me that for my vote to be counted i should post a top five.so here they are

1Mannix Francisco
2Mannix Francisco
3Mannix Francisco
4Mannix Francisco
5 hmmm. lets see oh I know! MANNIX FRANCISCO!

Good luck with that ballot getting counted.

Cyntrell Stanton

March 12, 2011 at 5:14 pm

All of the artwork is fabolous!!!! BUT if I had to make a choice, I would totally pick DOMINIKE STANTON alllllll the way. Just a little biased but what can I say Dominikes artwork is dope and I cant wait for DEADPOOL to come out in APRIL .

Rebecca Gunter

March 13, 2011 at 8:32 am

Just want to thank those who thought my stuff was worth voting for, and Noor (whose Batman face was my favorite of all those drawn) and Kevin Pringle for the critiques! I’m excited to work and improve for the next round.

@Rebecca Thanks =] I loved your clean pencils, something I will definitely be looking into fixing in mines next time.

“I’ll announce the winner next Sunday!”

Yeah, so uh…
what happened with that?

Was there a delay or did you mean “two Sundays from now?”

Yeah, I wonder what’s going on with the judging, I was really looking forward to the results, and furthermore, another contest…

who won? a lot of hard work went in to these who won!

@Dave J go to your happy place and find your spirit animal.

Was there a delay

Yep.

Figured you’d all rather wait for a full decision rather than me cobbling together a panel. The results will be up by Wednesday. I was going to do an announcement yesterday but no one said anything so I figured I’d wait until the results went up, but now ya know! :)

Thanks for the update.

The update is greatly appreciated, Brian.

Honestly, I have been refreshing this page for like 48 hours straight.

I didn’t ask anything yesterday because I didn’t want to be rude considering that this is something you put together at no real benefit to yourself and all of us are just lucky to have an oppurtunity to get some eyeballs on our work.

Again, thanks for setting this up and good luck to everybody who entered.

Wednesday can’t come soon enough.

I did not even enter and I’m curious as to who won.

1. Chris Fequiere
2. Dominike Stanton
3. Davinder Brar
4. Jackson Edge (why not?)
5. Chris Caldwell

@BrianCronin Maybe 9 pm is too early to ask, but was there another delay?

I have the results! What would be better – putting them out tonight or wait until I can get a front page link to the results on Saturday?

tonight tonight :)

tonight would be cool… just excited.

Front page link?

Did I get the answer right? What’s my prize?

A front page link would be great and I am sure it would help get more attention for the contest, though I would guess many of the artists are more intresteted in seeing the results at this point.

Honestly though, I really have no idea.
Speaking just for me, I am very anxious to know if the contest will continue and what the next page will be if it does. I’m dying just to know what book or series the next script page might be from.

Either way, I had a great time working on my page and getting to see everyone elses.
Thanks again for putting this together.

Okay, I’ll put them up tonight, before midnight on the West Coast.

Thanks Brian can’t wait till the next one. You The man!

Sounds good, are you posting the link to the results as a reply on here?

Rebecca Gunter

March 16, 2011 at 8:57 pm

@Noor

I think if you refresh http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/category/temptations-page/ …new posts relating to the contest should show as they’re posted!

No, it’ll have its own post.

Can i know where the result is posted?

is the result shown? where??

reverend treblig labo

May 22, 2011 at 11:15 am

Mannix Francisco is THE ONE!!!! Haven’t you heard? ….HE’S FROM GOTHAM…FER CHRISSAKE!!

Here’s my Best Five:

1) Mannix Francisco

2) Ken Steven Chun
3) Dominike Stanton
4) Alfredo Lopez
5) Gerard Straker

Charles Manson

May 22, 2011 at 11:20 am

In behalf of THE FAMILY and Warden Jack Snuff ….here’s a vote from..SOLITARY CONFINEMENT:

MANNIX FRANCISCO.. IS THE BEST IN THIS LIST..

1.) Mannix Francisco
2. Hughes Castinglay
3. Kevin Pringle
4. Josh Strickland
5. Leigh Chalker

Dominike Stanton

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