Drawing Crazy Patterns Archive
by Brian Cronin |
July 1, 2011 @ 12:21 AM | 38 Comments |
Here are all of the installments of Drawing Crazy Patterns that we have published so far. They each feature five comic book moments/scenes that coincide with a particular theme or topic. The latest additions are at the end of the list. I also specially marked each example of what we call a CLAREMONTISM, something that Chris Claremont specifically liked to repeat in his work.
1. Times Hal Jordan received blunt head trauma during the Silver Age.
2. Times Juggernaut’s helmet was removed
3. Times a character “Bwah Ha Ha”ed.
4. Patriotic Comic Book Moments About the United States
5. The SHIELD Helicarrier Crashing
6. Elektra’s sais cutting through people’s backs and flesh but being halted by the fronts of their shirts
7. CLAREMONTISM: Psylocke telling everyone that her psychic knife is the “focused totality of her telepathic powers”
8. Superboy telling everyone he has tactile telekinesis
9. The Hulk complaining about why humans never leave Hulk alone.
10. CLAREMONTISM: The X-Men Playing Baseball
11. Times Someone Other Than Colossus Has Done a “Fastball Special” With Wolverine
12. Failed attempts by Mister Fantastic to cure The Thing of his cosmic mutation
13. The Joker falling to his “death”
14. Dramatic Last Page Reveals of Magneto
15. Comic Book Decapitations (WARNING: Some of the pages contain, well, you know, decapitations – you might not want to see that)
16. Wolverine Threatening to “Pop” His Middle Claw
17. People Learning Batman’s Secret Identity Right Before Dying
18. Avengers Announcing a New Roster With a Press Conference
19. People Who Look Exactly Like Superman/Clark Kent
20. Fastball Specials Without Colossus OR Wolverine!
21. Batman Using Special Costumes
22. Doctor Doom Seemingly Being Killed
23. Flash Stories Ending With Iris West Complaining ABout Barry Allen
24. Jean Grey “Dying”
25. Green Arrow Copying Batman
26. Hawkeye Quitting the Avengers
27. Grant Morrison-Penned Characters Threatening to Inflict or Actually Inflicting Brain Trauma
28. Green Arrow(s) Quitting the Justice League(s)
29. Women Who Just Look Exactly Like Lois Lane
30. Lois Lane Trying to Learn Superman’s Secret Identity
31. Spider-Man Lifting Heavy Objects
32. CLAREMONTISM: Cannonball Explaining How He is Near Invulnerable WHen He is “Blastin'”
33. Batman Vanishing on Commissioner Gordon
34. The Watcher Interfering While Noting That He Cannot Interfere
35. Steve Rogers is Captain America No More!
36. Peter Parker is Spider-Man No More!
37. Other Characters Lifting Thor’s Hammer
39. CLAREMONTISM: Wolverine and Colossus Execute the Fastball Special!
40. Captain America; Unbreakable Shield Breaks!
41. Just How Easy Was it to Travel to Krypton Before it Exploded?
42. Superhero Spankings!
43. Avengers’ Quinjets Crashing!
44. The X-Mansion Being Destroyed
45. Iron Man Has to Go Back to Using an Old Armor!
46. “Nick Fury Is…Dead!”
47. What is it With Spider-Man and Bridges?
48. CLAREMONTISM: “No Quarter Asked, None Given”
49. CLAREMONTISM: “Bang. You Dead!”
50. The Thing’s Floating Superhero Poker Game
51. S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents Become Super-Villains!
52. The Inmates All Escape From Arkham Asylum
53. Thor Encounters Ragnarok
54. Kitty Pryde Gives an Impassioned Speech
55. Marvel Characters Visiting the Offices of Marvel Comics
56. CLAREMONTISM: “I’m The Best There Is At What I Do”
57. Comic Creators Officiating Superhero Weddings
58. CLAREMONTISM: “I Got Better”
59. Jason Todd’s Memorial in the Batcave Getting Smashed
60. Daredevil’s Dead Girlfriends
61. Avengers Falling for the Scarlet Witch
62. Batman and Superman Meeting for the First Time!
63. Lesser Known Batman Impersonators
64. Justice League of America Headquarters Being Destroyed
65. The Many Dead Loves of Wolverine
66. Wolverine Crying
67. “It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…It’s Some Guy!”
68. The Entire Marvel Earth is Destroyed! Wait, Now It’s Back!
69. “Ach, Nein, Not ANOTHER X-Jet Destroyed!”
If you have suggestions for future installments, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org! Don’t post your suggestions in the comments section (this way, they remain a surprise).