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I Love Ya But You’re Strange – Judging Their “Avengerability”

Every day this August I’ll be spotlighting strange but ultimately endearing comic stories, one a day (basically, we’re talking lots and lots of Silver Age comic books). Here is the archive of past installments of this feature.

You folks wanted to see what the counterpart was to the Wasp and She-Hulk rating the male members of the Avengers on their “hunkiness.” Well, I hate to disappoint you, but it was much less provocative, if still somewhat odd. It is Captain America rating the “avengerability” of his teammates in Avengers Annual #18.

Nothing says comic book fun more than peer evaluations!! This is some early writing work from Fabian Nicieza.

Ta da!

Now if only someone would do a back-up where Wolverine and Spider-Man dish on their female teammates!

27 Comments

I_Captain Blanco

August 12, 2011 at 6:57 am

“Now if only someone would do a back-up where Wolverine and Spider-Man dish on their female teammates!”

A *back-up*? Hell, Bendis could get an entire issue out of that!

This is a pretty clever sort of handbooky-thing, actually and I like how Steve’s personality sort of shines through even with the corny quasar joke and the apology for it towards the end. (Nicieza is good and was back then too). I really liked the Heroic Age: Villains dossiers book that Marvel put out around a year ago written in Cap’s POV. It’s worth tracking down.

I’m sorry, but I can’t let it go uncommented:

“I’ve held Mjolnir, and it is magnificent” is a hell of an innuendo for an (at the time) new writer to slip in

I’m not too familiar with Wonder Man, but if he has a jet belt that enables him to fly, you’d think those things would become standard issue among non-flying superheroes.

Yeah, pretty neat exposition of who’s who of Avengers and Cap’s voice does come though.
But still it’s a shame of not having, say, Starfox and Hercules to rank their fellow Avengers.

“Hell, Bendis could get an entire issue out of that!”

Wolverine: You like her?
Spider-man: Dunno.
Wolverine: Really?
Spider-man: Yeah.
Wolverine: ‘kay. How ’bout her?
Spider-man: Pretty good.
Wolverine: Good?
Spider-man: Yeah.
Wolverine: Just good?
Spider-man: That’s what I said.

Rinse and repeat for entire issue.

And it’s the best selling issue of the month.

Now if only someone would do a back-up where Wolverine and Spider-Man dish on their female teammates!

I’d read that.

Man, those Dwyer pages are really clumsy. I like that Lee Weeks one a lot, though.

And you guys are being unfair to Bendis. He could easily keep that up for six issues.

randypan the goatboy

August 12, 2011 at 9:12 am

im thinking cap enjoys knocking boots with the young starlets based on his comment about wonderman…yeah simon is kind of awkward on team assignments…but we all got laid last weekend at the playboy mansion….when captain america throws his mighty shield….heh heh heh

What makes the Keiron Dwyer pages even worse is that they are sandwiched by pages from such clearly superior artists. They really did him no favors putting him directly in the midst of those others.

On the jet belt thing. Wonder Man’s invulnerable. Jet exhaust coming down the sides of your legs is not something the non-powered hero really wants.

That’s only about a tenth of the costumes Wasp has worn shown in that panel :P

Also, the jets draw their power from Simon’s ‘ionic energy’. Most people would require bulky fuel tanks.

Kieron’s art was usually much better. He must’ve been rushed.

Odd that they’d have Kevin Maguire, master of expressive faces, draw Iron Man (he did a great job, of course, but still…)

Lee Weeks would’ve killed on a Vision & Scarlet Witch comic. He brought out the creepiness inherent but often unused in those two characters with just one pin-up.

Indeed – way back when, when I first saw the ad for the Vision and Scarlet Witch limited series, I thought it was a series about two villains (didn’t help that they were on the same side of the page as Ultron, Nekra, and the Grim Reaper).

I’m never any good at remembering which artists I like or dislike, so when I read the comment about Dwyer from Buttler I had to try and figure it out, I didn’t originally see the names of the artists but the one that snapped out as being rather “not good” (to be kind) was the Wasp and Hank Pym. So I have to say I agree with Buttler on his comment.

The Spidey and Wolverine dialog written by Bendis would have a ton of adolescent sexual undertones(or even over the top sexual innuendo) and Bendis can easily do that for six issues. I sometimes think Bendis would make a good writer for Knights of the Dinner Table type of superhero book(although that book shouldn’t be called Avengers)

God, how do I miss Paul Ryan…

i never liked Paul Ryan, his art is very mediocre for my tastes. i don’t like Dwyer much either, but i really like his Hank Pym panel. The size comparisons & Goliath holding up the panel. It was creative at least!

I wasn’t reading Avengers (or comics, really) around the time this came out, so I’m a bit out of the loop. I recognize Peggy Carter from the into sequence, but who’s “Michael”?

That’s Michael O’Brien, otherwise known as the Guardsman. He was an old Iron Man supporting character who had his own Stark-designed suit of armor. Eventually, they mass-produced his armor for guards at the supervillain prison, The Vault. When that happened (and he no longer was unique), Michael became the head of security for the Avengers (previously, when he was still using the armor, he was the head of security for Project Pegasus).

This is a much better idea than the Wasp and She-Hulk rating the male Avengers as `hunks.’ But one little aspect strikes me as a bit odd — I would never imagine Cap shirking the duty of preparing information for the team. He’s too dedicated for that!

A big team like the Avengers, you would think that they would also do some kind of mental evaluation of their members. Like when one of them ‘forgets’ her mystically created kids, they might think she might not be totally stable and could end up destroying the entire team and then cause “no more mutants”. Nah, she’s probably good. Let’s just worry about the fact that she’s not interested in hand to hand training.

This Annual was one of the first comics I ever owned, it’s packed full of good stuff – especially a back-up of Quasar’s ‘initiation’ featuring Firelord. I have fond memories of this ‘Avengerability’ bit because it got me up to speed with every character.

@Logan: Well, when this particular story came out, your concerns weren’t important. Bendis hadn’t broken into the comics industry at this point and it would be well over a decade before Bendis’s wretched crapfest saw the light of day.

Besides, considering the fact that the Avengers spent their first several issues fretting over the fact that they couldn’t convince the Hulk to join and stay on the team, and would, just a few issues later, accept Wonder Man into the group (who immediately sold out the group) and a few short years later accepted into the group a man who admitted to killing Hank Pym (of course, it was Pym–in his new Yellowjacket guise; speaking of Pym, I’d say that the Avengers should’ve instituted psych evaluations after Yellowjacket was revealed–this was also the guy who created Ultron), I’m not really sure why you think Wanda is any worse than any of the rest of the team.

[…] Wasp and She-Hulk play “Hot or Not” with the Avengers.  Also who rates highest in Captain America’s “Avengerability” Analysis?  Thank you again Cronin! Share this:FacebookMoreTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this […]

Anonymous – “Also, the jets draw their power from Simon’s ‘ionic energy’. Most people would require bulky fuel tanks.”

And Simon’s powers evolved to the point where doesn’t need to jet pack to fly anymore.

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