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I Love Ya But You’re Strange – Evil Girl Legion Dance Party!

Every day this August I’ll be spotlighting strange but ultimately endearing comic stories, one a day (basically, we’re talking lots and lots of Silver Age comic books). Here is the archive of past installments of this feature.

Today we look at the issue where the girl members of the Legionnaire try to do away their male counterparts, and it ISN’T some sort of noble scheme!

As you all know by now, Legionnaires routinely would seem like they were doing mean stuff to their teammates but it would turn out that it was all an elaborate ruse and they were really trying to HELP their teammates. Like when Mon-El found out that you could resurrect Lightning Lad only by sacrificing yourself, so he kept it to himself because he planned on giving his own life up for Lightning Lad. Except Saturn Girl presumed he was jealous and wanted to keep Lightning Lad dead.

But in Adventure Comics #326’s “Revolt of the Girl Legionnaires,” these girls are actually out for evil!

First off, I love what they’re all up to when Saturn Girl tells them their “get rid of the boys” mission is on…

Supergirl is feeling a little bit guilty, no? “We were just…experimenting…”

And so THAT’s how the Legionnaires all stay so trim. Plus, what the heck is “Knowledge Condensotron”?

First up, we have the gay Element Lad trying to talk himself into a woman…

You have GOT to love the looks John Forte give the women in this episode. And the way they use sex as a weapon is striking.

Finally, after they won, the girls have their evil girl Legion dance party but find out something’s wrong…

You have got to love that. “Wait, it was WRONG of us to hate all men? SHIT!”

Also, commenter Jason makes a great point about how bizarre it is that Jerry Siegel named the evil feminist planet, in effect, Feminazi. Jerry Siegel sure did bring the trippy.

The end of the story involves the guys all bemoaning (in their thoughts, of course) the fact that the ladies were only pretending to be interested in them. You got a whole pile of raging hormones in that clubhouse.

30 Comments

Femnaz?

FEMNAZ?!?

Wow, I guess the other comics DC were running had used up all of the subtlety that month.

It’s sick, it’s twisted, it’s weird, it’s stunted — it’s the Silver Age!
And it’s so much more fun than 98 percent of today’s comics.

Hey — can we borrow that Knowledge Condensotron and lend it to the House of Representatives?

and i though the early wonder woman stories were twisted over the man hating but seeing this legion story and learning superman own creator did it . this story proves that even the legion can be a little crazy when it comes to the battle of the sexes.

Hey! Where can I get one of those “cellular trim rays”?

Plus, what the heck is “Knowledge Condensotron”?

It seems to be an equivalent of what they had in The Matrix movies, a condensed way to cram learning. “Condensed knowledge.” My guess is by just using those scientific earphones, they can learn volumes of information in a fraction of the time, without actually reading or attending lectures. Kind of like how Prometheus could upload info into his brian.

So if a moon is split in two, the pieces will immediately fall out of orbit? I really need to bone up on Newtonian Physics again.

“It’s sick, it’s twisted, it’s weird, it’s stunted — it’s the Silver Age!
And it’s so much more fun than 98 percent of today’s comics.”

I suppose misogyny and anti-feminism are the type of thing most comic book nerds findd amusing. What a sad, sad, state of affairs. I really should stop reading these comment threads.

Man, Siegel brought the innuendo too. Triplicate Girl sure did add insult to injury with Brainiac 5.

Ironically, F.D., comments like yours are the reason I often don’t read these threads!

(It’s not the misogyny that’s fun, it’s the goofy over-the-top convoluted silliness of it.)

I_Captain Blanco

August 18, 2011 at 7:31 am

I don’t know which line of dialogue is funnier:

“I guess she won’t mind if I steal a kiss! Wow! How thrilling…!”

or

“Awp! I’m d-dwindling down to TINY SIZE!”

Also gotta love Triplicate Girl’s “He’s…kissing me!” Like she wasn’t quite sure…

randypan the goatboy

August 18, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Is this still in continuity…I believe the legion needs to have a little discussion with the queen of femnaz. it just seems so odd that there would be a large percent of females in the galaxy that hate men that much. That never happens in real life does it?..gasp

Eh, typical LOSH mystery: someone or something acts contrary to normal, then it turns out in the end to have been caused by a villain or a scientific effect. Rarely (back then) was it due to more logical causes or personal flaws. Admittedly, it is a strange story idea to have the girls try to kill the boys- I guess the Weisinger-controlled titles WERE misogynistic, intentionally or not.

And for the record, Element Lad was not gay at the time this comic was written, and in fact the story confirms it.

I wonder if any of those gadgets (like the knowledge machine) were ever used again?

Element Lad and Light Lass could be exploring their sexuality. I think it’s fairly common for gays who are unsure of their sexuality to try straight relationships first. That’s probably why they were attracted to each other: because they each sensed the other was different.

The kiss must have addled Element’s Lad brain. He could easily defeat Light Lass by turning the air around her to nitrogen or trapping her in inertron. Even if he doesn’t want to assault her, how hard is it for someone that powerful to get off a mountaintop? Turn the parts of the mountain blocking your descent to gas, genius.

Does Rush Limbaugh know about Planet Femnaz? I wonder if they ever went to war w/ Planet Testosteroid?

This plot was so good it is repeated with a twist later in the Adventure Comics run. That story replaces sex with boosted powers.

And this is pre-Reboot Jan and Ayla so effectively they’re both gay or bi in this story…which makes it far more fun. Well if you have a sense of humour it’s fun…

I read this story as a reprint some time ago. It is pretty hilarious. The ladies do look pretty good in this story. Light Lass has a great body that she wants to slim down. That scene where they are all dancing is pretty awesome. This is a pretty sexy story, there’s a lot going on between the sheets…uh lines.

As anonymous points out, the condensatron was some kind of educational device. Teaching by computers downloading into the brain (while you were asleep, even!) was a standard speculation back then, even making into the mainstream (like the Prisoner episode, “The General.”).
While the condensotron wasn’t specifically referred to, there was a later story where a teacher grumbles about students learning while they’re awake (“Isn’t old-fashioned sleep-learning good enough?”).

“Hey, Triplicate Girl, thanks so much for coming out and using a pantograph to save time instead of actually giving us real autographs! It’s not like you had a super power that would help you do it more efficiently while still retaining some pretense of giving a crap.” Really, that’s the part of this story that bugs me. Everything else…well, the guys in the Legion are pretty much dicks anyway.

Oh, and Light Lass thinking she’s going to starve a guy who can transform anything into anything else. She might as well have tried that trick on Matter-Eater Lad.

Kind of ironic that Element Lad tried to make himself heavy in the loafers. Also note the bit where Saturn Girl says “Will the real Supergirl please stand up?” This is a reference to a popular game show of the time, called To Tell the Truth, which had a panel of celebrities attempting to pick out a fascinating central character from two impersonators. Each episode would end with the announcer saying, “Will the real [fascinating character] please stand up?”

Incidentally, To Tell the Truth had a major connection to comic books; the host of the show was Bud Collyer, who had played Superman in the long-running radio program during the 1940s.

It’s interesting, Pat. I have a feature on the blog based on explaining pop culture references in old comics that people don’t know anymore. But my “problem” is that I tend to think more things are well-known than they really are. Like your To Tell the Truth point. I would think that that would be a well-known reference even today, but you’re absolutely right, it really ISN’T. With that in mind, I think there’s a lot more fodder for my “explaining pop culture references in old comics” feature than I first thought!

The older I get, the more I notice this. Look at how many people didn’t know the back story on that Dark and Stormy Night Batman story.

Heck, for a comics reader going to college today, Dick Grayson has never been Robin. That says a lot.

Heck, for a comics reader going to college today, Dick Grayson has never been Robin. That says a lot.

Heck, forget just going to college, Dick stopped being Robin 28 years ago!

Yeah, for a modern reader, the “please stand up” thing would seem like an Eminem reference. Prescient!

I know, Brian, but I keep thinking of this stuff in terms of that Benoit College “what college students today know” list.

Yeah, for a modern reader, the “please stand up” thing would seem like an Eminem reference. Prescient!

Oh, how about “Readers going to college this year have never known a world without Kyle Rayner.”

And Brand New Day erased the only serious love interest Peter Parker had in their lifetimes.

And Barbara Grayson has always been a paraplegic crimefighter codenamed Oracle.

Or if they’re just getting into comics now, she never was.

There was a new version of To Tell The Truth, which ran throughout the ’90s. Some college-age people may remember it.

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