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CSBG Archive

Five Goofiest Moments in the Thor Feature in Journey Into Mystery #94-98

Every week, I’ll examine the five goofiest moments from a five-issue stretch of a particular comic book series. Here is a list of the moments featured so far.

This week, we look at Journey into Mystery #94-98, all plotted by Stan Lee, with scripts by Robert Bernstein in #94-96 and Lee himself in #97-98. Pencils and inks from Joe Sinnott in #94-96, pencils and inks from Don Heck in the lead story of #98 plus inks on the lead story in #97 and inks on the back-up in #98, pencils from Jack Kirby on #97 and the back-up of #98 and inks from George Roussos on the back-up in #97.

As always, this is all in good fun. I don’t mean any of this as a serious criticism of the comics in question. Not only were these writers certainly never imagining people still reading these comics decades after they were written, great comics often have goofy moments (Kirby/Lee’s Fantastic Four is one of the best comic book runs of all-time and there were TONS of goofy stuff in those 100 plus issues!).

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Man, why didn’t they just do this after Fear Itself?

I love the random ass tests that governments got up to during the Silver Age…

“Yeah, we’re just going to detonate a nuke in outer space. You know, just cuz.”

The Cobra’s origin is basically that he is some moron ex-crook that a scientist tried to rehabilitate but the ex-crook got jealous of the scientist’s success so he killed him with a cobra bite. The cobra bit him, too, but he had the antidote. What he DIDN’T know was that the cobra was radioactive. So it gave him powers. Okay, whatever, that is, in and of itself, goofy, but it is hard to make too much fun of that when that’s the basic premise behind Spider-Man, ya know? However, how do you go from “cobra powers” to inventing all of this hi-tech gear?!?

What a strange code for a warrior to have. “He has my friend captive, but I can threaten him because of my code!”

5. “I love it when a plan comes together” Part I

Really? That’s your brilliant plan, Merlin?

How did you know your crypt would EVER be opened?!?

4. But you just said you had telepathy…

Later in Journey #96, Merlin thinks about his powers…

and yet he is defeated by a BLUFF!

Professor X would shake his head in shame at that display of telepathy, Merlin.

3. Odin does NOT mess around…

He went all Homer Simpson on Loki’s Bart.

2. “I love it when a plan comes together” Part I

The best part about Loki’s plan here is the visual display of the human skull…

So that’s extremely goofy. How could it not be number one? Read on…

1. Talk about a renaissance man!

Yes, in the grand fashion of Marvel doctors everywhere, Donald “I am only a medical doctor” Blake…created an ANDROID!!!!

WOW.

5 Comments

The U.S. and Soviets both exploded nuclear devices in outer space, the U.S. first in 1958.

Keep in mind that they *did* test at least two nukes in space in the Sixties. The results (the US test caused an electromagnetic pulse which blacked out much of Hawaii) encouraged the adoption of a treaty to ban the testing of nuclear devices in space. (Unfortunately, this also doomed the Orion nuclear pulse project, which could have opened up the solar system to manned exploration. Ah, well; that’s politics. :-)

randypan the goatboy

February 21, 2012 at 5:23 pm

yes we know that much Mrs. lincoln….but did you enjoy the play?…but did you guy’s think it was funny or are you going to ” COMIC BOOK GUY” this thing to death?

Donald Blake: smart enough to build a super-intelligent, nigh-invulnerable android. Dumb enough to build it so that it can accidentally be turned into a bomb.

“the destruction I wrought while under Loki’s spell” sounds suspiciously like “vehicular homicide while under the influence of mead”. Which means “erased from the minds of men” = “expunged from the Odinson’s criminal record pursuant to an agreement with the Odinattorney”.

“The missile is not heading away from Earth” is basically Stan Lee’s way of saying “Screw you, Strunk & White!”

I like the sound of the Cobra’s origin – “a scientist tried to rehabilitate him” – but that’s only if I factor in how Marvel usually depicted scientists as lunatics in lab coats. The guy probably caught Cobra breaking into his garage one night and wound up strapping him to a table in his basement to see what effect antimatter would have on burglars. The proposition that a snake could become radioactive by being in the vicinity of a Marvel scientist isn’t the least bit unlikely.

If Thor’s hammer is his “main source of power” I sincerely hope the second source is his pirate boots. Because otherwise, WTF pirate boots?

Of course Merlin knew his crypt would be opened – he’s MERLIN. One of his major character traits is that he lives backwards. Dude knows who’s going to win the 2064 World Series but can’t remember why he started wearing that damn hat. Everything that ever happens to him, he just has to assume he had a good reason for it. He’s like Memento except all his psycho body tats are astrological symbols.

I never noticed Loki’s ponytail before. Between that and the giant horns, you couldn’t say “Hello, ladies!” any plainer unless you actually wrote “I have a mighty eight-legged stallion in my codpiece” across your face.

I kinda feel sorry for Greenberg the Android. And yet, at the same time, his brief existence was hilariously action packed. “Dear Internal Event Log, today I was born. Green for some reason. Did some math onstage for a crowd of idiots. Contemplated the vastness of the universe by extrapolating from visible evidence. Blonde guy smacked me with a rock fastened to a stick. Determined that my invulnerable composition will long outlast the heat death of the universe. That will be boring. Closeted homosexual proposed using me as a tool of war. Decided annihilation was preferable. Calculate 99% probability that blonde guy is an alter ego of the Creator, perhaps adopted to publicly indulge his fetish for pirate boots. Detonation in 5-4-3-2….”

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