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CSBG Archive

A Useless Sunday Daydream- Team Edition

This one’s just for fun. Fanboy speculating and goofing off. Completely and utterly nerdy. You were warned.

*

I don’t know if it’s March Madness or what, but suddenly people are sending me all sorts of links about odd superhero matchups and teams and so on. Of course we’ve got all the stuff here on the blog, and also several friends have pointed me to this site– Super-Team Family: the Lost Issues.

Basically the site’s just one man with Photoshop skills and a dream, but I defy anyone who loves comics– particularly if that person loves the glory days of Marvel Team-Up and The Brave and the Bold — not to find an issue they wish really existed, probably within the first thirty seconds of visiting the site. Here are two I would have snatched off the stands so fast they’d have left a smoke trail.

Anyway, that was a diversion I wasted way too much time on between various work-related panics this week. But it kind of kickstarted the back of my brain into thinking about impossible crossovers… and then our own Pol Rua put up this challenge…

…with an invitation to assemble our OWN dream team.

I laughed and went on to the next thing, but the idea kept bugging me. Childhood heroes dream team. If I could have ANY-damn-body on my team from my childhood favorites, who would I pick?

The thing that makes the challenge tricky and interesting isn’t just the time frame, though that comes with its own limits too. It very specifically says “CHILDHOOD” heroes. For example, I’d love to be able to have Black Belt Jones on my team but I’d never have been allowed to see an R-rated film in my youth, so he’s out. Likewise the Six Million Dollar Man, because I was thirteen when I found out about Steve Austin and that’s when I was a teenager, not a child. (That would exclude Black Belt Jones too, actually, the movie came out in 1974.)

Otherwise these would have been my FIRST TWO PICKS, believe me. But they’re both out. You have to work within those limitations– childhood heroes in both time frame and familiarity.

For me that means I have to stay between the years of 1965– when I was first old enough to comprehend what I saw on my TV– and 1973, before I turned thirteen. And they have to be heroes of mine from that time, from my childhood. Even totally legit picks from between 1965 and 1973 like the Vision or Mr. Spock– if I didn’t know about them and love them before age thirteen, then I can’t use them.

Plus, when you’re putting together a team of good guys for a story, if you’re being conscientious you want to be sure you have a mix of talents and personalities along with fighting skills. The Strong One. The Smart One. The Mysterious One. The Specialist. The Crabby-But-Still-Dependable One. And of course the Leader.

So who did I get? Here’s my roster.

Tarzan 1966. That is to say, not the Burroughs Tarzan– though he would be an awesome asset to have– but the television Tarzan, Ron Ely’s version. The one that was operating as a sort of loinclothed cop in 1966 Africa.

Not as badass as the Burroughs version, but not somebody you’d mess with.

He’s a Specialist– can command the animals, knows all the African jungle, can function as a diplomat and go-between anywhere in that part of the world. He’s great in hand-to-hand combat and has spectacular endurance. Week after week some evil white poacher would shoot Tarzan or push him off a cliff or whatever, and he’d wake up, decide it was just a flesh wound, and go clean their clocks. This was a never-miss show for me when I was a kid, and I’m glad it finally got a legit DVD release. Holds up pretty well, as long as you know going in that it’s not the Burroughs Tarzan.

Next is Callisto. Friend of Matt Mason, for those who are too young.

Callisto was the alien scientist that worked with Major Matt Mason and his Moon exploration team. He’s our Smart Guy– I mean, look at that brain, you can SEE it throbbing with intelligence! If I can’t have Spock, I’ll take Callisto. Plus, we can put him into our Mysterious One slot,as well… since that was literally all anyone ever said about him– according to his Mattel box, he’s a “mysterious alien with advanced mental powers.” That’s it. That’s all we got. I’m not sure we were ever even told what planet he was from.

Most of you are probably too young to know this but Matt Mason was to my generation what Star Wars action figures were to the generation that came after. They were amazing toys, but not built to last; they were essentially the same rubber-over-wire as Gumby, and an active kid would soon find himself with a set of quadriplegic heroes if he wasn’t careful. The accessories, though– the Space Crawler, the Space Station, the Space Bubble, and so on– those were AWESOME.

I’m going to say that having Callisto on my squad means we get that equipment as an asset, too.

We’ll need some good hand-to-hand fighters. Here are my three picks for the baddest dudes I knew in my childhood… Kato, Linc Hayes, and James West.

Kato is obvious, but some of you may be scratching your heads wondering about the other two. (“Linc from the Mod Squad? Seriously, dude?”)

Seriously, dude. I would absolutely have put either one of them up against Kato in any given episode of The Green Hornet. James West, especially, thought nothing of taking on five guys at a time hand-to-hand and he always won in a fair fight. Invariably, to pull out a win, the villains ended up having to gas him or the double-agent girl would drop a vase on his head or something, but in clean hand-to-hand, West was unstoppable. He’d even spot the other guys their horses. (Check out this collection of stunt clips and see for yourself.) And Linc had moves too… it was supposed to be a ripped-from-the-headlines drama, but my little brother and I didn’t care. When we watched The Mod Squad we knew that at ten minutes to the hour Linc and Pete would be beating the shit out of some roomful of thugs, and that was the whole point. (Check out this clip and you’ll see what I mean.)

Incidentally, these three guys were often wary and untrusting, too, and will neatly fill our Crabby Guy Who Is Nevertheless Dependable slot, along with being Specialists.

Without question, the biggest heroes of my early childhood were the ones from Saturday morning television. As such I have to recruit Space Ghost, and also Igoo the Rock Ape from The Herculoids.

God bless Alex Toth; my childhood would have been a hell of a lot bleaker without him. These two will fill our Strong Guy spots, I think. Although you could slot Space Ghost into a number of different places, his specialty is overwhelming force, and Igoo… hell, all he does is growl, break stuff, and lift heavy things.

So that leaves our Leader.

Well, I have two candidates but I can’t decide.

The first is the Bronze Age Superman.

I liked the Silver Age Superman, as I knew him from the 80-page Giants I grew up reading.

My gateway to superhero comic books was largely the Filmation Superman and Aquaman cartoons, and those were really faithful adaptations for the most part, there was no transition trauma there for me from TV to the comics at all.

But it was Superman’s Bronze Age incarnation I truly loved, when Clark Kent became a TV newscaster.

You had Kirby tearing it up on Jimmy Olsen with the Newsboy Legion and Project Cadmus, you had Kryptonite Nevermore, and you had all sorts of other great things. Morgan Edge, Steve Lombard, all of that. It was really new and exciting and I was just barely old enough to understand that it was all new and exciting. That version of Superman is still my favorite, and that guy would make a great team leader.

However, that leaves out my favorite childhood hero of all…

…the Adam West Batman.

There’s no way I wouldn’t have that guy on my team. He knows everything. He’s thought of every contingency and usually has a device in his Utility Belt ready to deal with it. He never lost in a fair fistfight and often beat even the cheaters. Everyone in the world respects him. And if you posit that this is the same Batman that was in the comics and on Super Friends, well, even Superman defers to him.

The solution? Clearly, Superman and Batman are co-leaders. My squad is headed up by the World’s Finest.

So there you go. That’s my team.

But that’s the EASY part. Picking folks for a roster isn’t really much of a challenge, even within the limitations I was given. The hard part is putting all these people into the same story. How in the hell would Callisto’s path ever cross Jim West’s? Or Tarzan meet Space Ghost?

The story is what’s hard. Making it plausible– at least, superhero-comics plausible– and figuring out how to get all these guys into it is what made it interesting. That was what was floating around in the back of my head all week. As I’ve said before, I’m really not able to turn off the part of my brain that spins Useless Stories. There’s no off switch there.

So here’s the scenario:

There is an interstellar scientist, a horribly unethical one, stealing specimens of various animals from a variety of planets in order to build and test an unstoppable weapon no species can withstand. We’ll call him Drang.

One of Drang’s captures is Igoo, the giant rock ape. The Herculoids enlist the aid of Space Ghost, who takes off in pursuit. Space Ghost follows Drang in the Phantom Cruiser, and the chase takes them into our solar system, into low Earth orbit, where a huge battle takes place. Space Ghost is knocked unconscious when his Heat Force ignites Drang’s ship’s exhaust stream into a huge ion blast. The Phantom Cruiser is crippled and drifting, inviso-power and shields gone. In a few hours the orbit will decay and the ship will burn up.

Drang’s ship is crippled but he manages a crash-landing on Earth…. somewhere in central Africa. Igoo smashes his way out of the ship and disappears into the jungle.


Meanwhile, on the Moon, Matt Mason’s space station crew has noticed their instruments showing some sort of weird conflagration in Earth orbit. They are the only ones in a position to launch a rendezvous operation to look for survivors. Callisto begs to be allowed to accompany the search team, despite Mason’s government mandate to keep the alien’s presence on the Moon crew as covert as possible. “Please, my friend Matthew. I cannot tell you why but if my suspicions are correct I must accompany you. It could mean life or death for your world.” Reluctantly, Mason agrees.

In the Hall of Justice, Superman and Batman have also noticed the orbital conflagration and are determined to investigate. They managed to track the ship’s crash in central Africa but have also picked up evidence of some kind of super-powerful life form drifting in the orbital wreckage. They decide to split up– Batman will take Africa, while Superman checks out the space wreck.

In Africa, as it happens, the Wayne Foundation has sponsored a charitable expedition in cooperation with the Peace Corps to teach young native children to read in one of the emerging nations there. Britt Reid is covering it for the Daily Sentinel, and while he’s interviewing the program director in the village his chauffeur Kato has nothing to do. Bored, he enlists one of the Foundation’s volunteer tutors to take him on a short hike away from the village. The volunteer is Linc Hayes, on sabbatical from the LAPD, trying to find himself and his place in the world. They set off into the jungle together. As they are walking down the trail, they see a ship spiral into the jungle nearby and crash. Because they are who they are, they run to investigate.

Fighting their way through the jungle Linc and Kato soon realize they are hopelessly lost… then a man in a loincloth drops out of the trees. “I’m Tarzan. I need you to clear the area.” Argument ensues, with Linc saying it’s more important to locate crash survivors and Kato bristling at being told what to do by ANYONE not named Britt Reid. The argument is cut short when a giant ape– seemingly made of solid ROCK!– comes smashing out of the jungle growth, roaring his rage…

Meanwhile, Superman has run into the Mason team as they approach the drifting Phantom Cruiser. They decide, for the sake of discretion, that this is best handled at Mason’s Space Station One on the Moon. They take the still-unconscious Space Ghost with them, Callisto looking unaccountably relieved. Whatever he was expecting, Space Ghost and the cruiser weren’t it. Superman follows, easily taking the Phantom Cruiser in tow with one hand.

In Africa, at the crash site, Batman has found the wreckage of Drang’s ship. Drang surprises him and a huge fistfight ensues. Batman is winning until Drang emits a shrill, unhuman whistle, at which point one of the creatures still caged spits an alien venom at the Caped Crusader, rendering him unconscious.

Drang chuckles. “It’s the Vortex for you, Masked Meddler!” He produces a sort of projector and aims it at his captive, but Batman regains consciousness just in time and hurls his Batarang. The projector is knocked loose and its rays envelop both Batman AND Drang.

They materialize in the middle of a crowd, in a dusty desert town. Batman instantly recognizes the town, the era, and the bearded man at the podium. Drang does not, but he heads for the bearded man anyway, thinking he’s the most important person and would make a great hostage. Batman tries to follow but he’s tackled by a man in a beautifully-tailored blue suit who seems to have amazing athletic prowess. A legendary fistfight ensues as Batman tries to get past Secret Service agent James West to prevent Drang from harming President Grant and changing all history…

Meanwhile, on the moon, Space Ghost is regaining consciousness. He’s lying on a cot in Space Station One’s sick bay. Mason’s crew is gathered around him, including Callisto. Space Ghost sits straight up and points at Callisto, his expression full of righteous fury. “I should have KNOWN Drang would seek allies! Where is he?”

Superman steps in between them. “Callisto is under MY protection. Suppose you tell us who YOU are.”

Space Ghost is baffled, but Superman’s presence is enough to calm him. Still, he doesn’t get it. “Superman? The last Kryptonian? Why would you be protecting a… BADOON??”

Callisto looks ashamed. “Then it WAS one of my race…”

Just as all is about to be revealed, both Superman and Space Ghost stiffen. “There’s some sort of disturbance…” Superman says, “My super-senses are detecting–”

“TIMEQUAKE!” Space Ghost roars, and jabs at a button on his gauntlet. “This calls for my FORCE FIELD!” Instantly a bubble of pure invulnerable Energy Force surrounds Space Ghost, Superman, Callisto, and the rest of the crew of Space Station One. The quake subsides a moment later and everyone looks around, wondering.

“Is everyone all right?” Superman asks.

“We are,” Callisto says slowly. “But your world is not.”

He points at a part of Station Control that was outside the bubble. The panels and insignia have all changed. Now, everything is done in red and green, and looks far more advanced that it was before. But it’s the flag hanging over it all that gets everyone’s attention. It’s deep-maroon red, and in the middle is a green scaly hand holding up a swastika.

“Somehow,” Callisto says grimly, “This Drang has changed all history. Now your Earth belongs to.. the brotherhood of the Badoon.”

“And somehow…” Superman’s voice drops to a horrified whisper. “… they’re NAZIS!”

….

I could keep going, but I think that’s probably enough. I wish I had the Photoshop software (and skills) to put together some visuals for it. You can take it on faith that it gets bigger and bigger, races across all time and space, and the big final donnybrook will include the Herculoids AND probably also the Defenders and the Guardians of the Galaxy and the Justice League of the early 1970s. Against the entire BADOON NAZI EMPIRE!

Fuck yeah!

Let’s see somebody top THAT. It would be the greatest Childhood Heroes Epic ever.

So what have YOU got?

(Seriously. Have at it in the comments if you like. Don’t forget to play by the rules though!)

….See you next week.

33 Comments

nice that story would be a cool cross over. for want to now know how superman and co get things back to normal. but i would have thrown in wonder woman and jane and an alien queen and a couple gijoes to help them out.

There’s pretty much no scenario that could have all my team meeting each other, just because they’re all from such different milieus. But here they are, nonetheless:

Leader: Optimus Prime
Second-in-Command/Jedi Knight: Luke Skywalker
Crowd Control Fighter/Scientist: Spider-Man
Weapons/Robotics Specialist: Mega Man
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle: Michaelangelo
Detective/Official Team Jerk: Sherlock Holmes
Financial Backer/All-Around Badass: Scrooge McDuck

Crap, add one more:

Bounty Hunter: Brisco County, Jr.

Fun! I didn’t discover superhero comics until I was in high school. I grew up on Disney and Archie comics, so my team comes from TV and movies I went nuts for when I was a kid. (We’re talking 1985 – 1991, I guess.)

Leader: Princess Leia (she was friends with the Ewoks!)
The snarky one: Peter Venkman (I made myself a proton pack out of styrofoam once.)
The brains: Penny and Brain (She had an ipad before all’a you all)
The stealthy one: Danger Mouse. (He’s small! He can go unnoticed.)
The strong one: She-Ra (Come on. She could kick He-Man’s ass. We all know it.)
The comedic relief: Bananaman (Also, strong.)
The transport: RC (There’s a female Transformer?! Mind. Blown.)

I win for gender balance! Girls kick ass. They did when I was 10, they still do. :P

WorldbreakerGrimm

March 24, 2013 at 4:31 pm

Monster-on-Demand: GODZILLA (Original Toyo version)

The Strong Guy: HE-MAN (80′s Cartoon)

Scientist: DONATELLO (TMNT, 80′s Cartoon)

Invisible Stealth-Monster: PETE’S DRAGON (Disney)

The Odd Couple: THE PREDATOR & ALIEN DRONE (Think Sabretooth & Wild Child from AOA)

The Badass: WOLVERINE (X-Men: TAS, 90′s)

Repairs, Limb-Ripping: CHEWBACCA (Original Star Wars Trilogy)

The Funny Guy: SPIDER-MAN (Erik Larsen’s version)

Spirit of Vengeance: GHOST RIDER (Danny Ketch, 90′s)

Pilots, Radical Squadron: THE S.W.A.T. KATS (Razor & T-Bone, 90′s cartoon)

Team Leader: BATMAN (Animated Series, 90′s)

Quite the eclectic group of heroes, but that pretty much covers them from the very first (Pete’s Dragon) right up to age 13 (Batman and the other comic guys). Awesome challenge! Thanks!

My timeline is late 70s to 1986. So — Luke Skywalker, Snake-Eyes, Ookla the Mock, K.I.T.T. , one or more Dukes of Hazzard, and led by Optimus Prime.

Jeez, it’s immediately obvious I’m gonna spend way too much time at that site.
As far as a childhood heroes team, the first ones that come to mind are He-Man(the early comics version, definitely not the bland Filmation animated interpretation), Mr. T, the Incredible Hulk, Batman(late silver/bronze age comics version), the Frankenstein Monster(Karloff version, he was most definitely the good guy in my eyes), Foxy Brown(I LOVED watching tapes of Pam Grier movies whenever my Mom was out of the house), Ash(Evil Dead 2 version), and Macho Man Randy Savage. I feel like there’s someone fairly big I’m forgetting, but that sounds like a pretty damn solid lineup all the same. I acually have some drawings from years ago of little impossible teamups of a couple of these characters, but never really thought about making a full-fledged team. My hands are itching to draw this now.

That’s my blog, I am glad you enjoy it! One slight correction – the covers posted so far were made with MS Paint, not Photoshop. I will, however, be switching to Photoshop covers as of next week. So stay tuned, there’s a new cover every day and I have hundreds waiting to be posted. Thanks for the shout out!

1970-1976 (pre-Star Wars)

Strength/speed: Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man (also vision and speed)

Strength/charisma: Wonder Woman (TV — Lynda Carter). Note she’s not the comic-book Superman-level strength, and manages to get captured frequently if solo. (Odd thought — who’d win a battle of Steve Austin vs. Diana Prince? Tough call, seems they’d be pretty easily matched (similar throwing people and similar sound effects!) so long as she didn’t manage to capture him with her flipping magic lasso.)

(If neither of them was available, I’d go to Rocky Balboa, but not let him talk or make decisions…)

Cranky guy: Jim Rockford, from the Rockford Files (also provides wheels, detective, bare knuckles and attitude) (and no, he’s not at all super-powered) (and no, he wouldn’t be able to put up with Rocky Balboa at all, that’s a non-starter)

Brains/ethics: wait for it… Mr. Rogers! The leader, if he can stand the violence.

Dexterity/distance/derring-do: Robin Hood. What came out during my childhood was the Disney animated version, but I read whatever I could get my hands on and went as him one Halloween.

Spook/special: Barnabas Collins from Dark Shadows. Though I can’t remember whether he actually had much in the way of vampire powers…

Kind of a knight-type group, actually. Unfortunately I wasn’t allowed to watch the Mod Files or Mission Impossible (afternoon, I think). Also didn’t get into comics books until college.

I’m also working from late 70′s through 1986. I originally had Thor on my team but I had to dump him because he was just way more powerful than everyone else. I had a couple others that were very close calls as well that I wanted to fit in but couldn’t quite squeeze in.

Anyway, since you have nine members, I will also go with nine:

The Strong One – ROM: Spaceknight

The Smart One – Skywise (from Elfquest)

The Smart One – Trixie Belden

The Mysterious One – Snake Eyes

The Specialist – Dart (from Atari Force)

The Specialist – Alex Wildstar (from Star Blazers)

The Crabby-But-Still-Dependable One – Han Solo

The Crabby-But-Still-Dependable One – Evel Knievel

The Leader – The Trash Heap (from Fraggle Rock)

There’s also the Ultimate Showdown, which is really what this article is all about!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WgT9gy4zQA

Bernard Woodhams

March 24, 2013 at 10:52 pm

I go from very late 60s to about 77. Leader of the group would no question be Dr Who (grew up in New Zealand so different TV). Strong guy the Thing (my favourite comic figure of the time) and/or bronze age Superman. They would also be in charge of group transport. Tracker/stealthy guy Davy Crockett (we were getting repeats of the Disney series still) supported by Robin Hood (story book version). Brains courtesy of Spock. Detective skills would be Colombo. I loved the Adam West Batman and Captain America also, but I don’t think I have specific roles for them.

My time would be early to late ’70s, so I can pick the bionics and Trek characters as I was watching and loving all of that stuff as a pre-teen. Here’s my group:
Steve McGarrett (Jack Lord version, obviously) – the leader; from about grades 1 to 3, I could not miss an episode of Hawaii 5-O. I thought McGarrett was so damn cool.
Both Steve Austin ($6 Million Man) and Jamie Summers (Bionic Woman) – also loved both shows (and had a bit of a little boy crush on Lindsay Wagner) and watched them quite regularly.
Wonder Woman – the TV version, I only bought the comic back then very irregularly. Although I preferred the first, WW2 season, for my group it’ll have to be the modern-day version that works for an intelligence agency.
Luke Skywalker – back then, I always preferred Luke to Han Solo. Even had a Luke Skywalker T-shirt and action figure.
Spider-man – the comic-book version, without question.
Spock & McCoy – I would have picked Kirk, too, but I’ve already got a leader.
Mark Harris, the Man from Atlantis – now I’m almost embarrassed to admit how much I loved this show while it lasted (kind of like it’s embarrassing to admit how much I loved the Bay City Rollers from about ages of 5 to 8).
Not a very balanced out team, but hey, those were my heroes among the pop cultural offerings of the time. If I were being completely honest, I’d also have to include Gandalf, Bilbo Baggins and Bugs Bunny, but there’s no way I could work them into my a big team-up story.

Anyone, here’s the basic idea:
Luke Skywalker, fleeing from an imperial battle cruiser and countless Tie fighters in a badly damaged X-wing fighter flies into some sort of wormhole-like space anomaly and emerges on the outer edge of Earth’s atmosphere, above the Pacific Ocean. His fighter finally goes kaputt and he goes hurtling toward the sea, his ship finally plunges into the water in the vicinity of some islands – where Mark Harris, searching the sea floor to follow up on some vague rumors of underwater people near the Hawaiian islands, sees the rapidly sinking spacecraft and rushes to rescue its lone pilot…
Switch scene to Peter Parker arriving in Hawaii, ostensibly to take photographs for the Daily Bugle’s summer vacation supplement, but also to attend a series of special lectures at the local university by a famed and mysterious physicist from some Latveria-like central European country who has apparently made a ground-breaking discovery in spatial/temporal mechanics that he intends to unveil to the world public (also the villain of the story, haven’t really worked out the details in my head – maybe a version of Kang). Steve Austin and Jamie Summers are both there providing undercover security for this event (and also to keep an eye on scientist himself), just as secret agent Diana Prince is also on duty, coordinating surveillance of the various spies from other foreign powers who have flocked to Honolulu.
Also there are Spock and Dr. McCoy (conspicuous in Hawaii in the early summer, as both are wearing dark 3-piece suits, and Spock has a hat pulled down tightly over his ears), who have traveled back in time through the Gaurdian of Forever to this point in history, after a fatally injured Gary Seven (remember him?) just appeared in the Enterprise’s sickbay and, in his dying breaths, warned them of some potentially catastrophic event in late 20th century Hawaii that may disrupt the timestream irreparably.
Now, here’s where I haven’t worked out the details (primarily because I’ve already wasted way too much time on this), but the evil physicist reveals that he already has a working prototype of a spatial/temporal wormhole generator (yes, he’s responsible for accidentally bringing Luke Skywalker here while running some initial tests), and he intends to use Hawaii, and then Earth as a whole, as a base of an empire that will span extend throughout the universe and project both forward and backward into time (yeah, maybe he is Kang). He puts his device into operation, causing all kinds of disruptions to local power and communications, minor earthquakes, etc. Mark Harris, pulling along a still groggy Luke Skywalker, sees some strange lights over Oahu as he swims toward the beach. And this is where Steve McGarrett enters the picture, first telling his subordinates to “seal this island off!” And then the action really begins. And that’s all I’ve got. . .

Mine would be:

The Bionic Woman, Liquidator from Earth Corps (Inhumanoids), Sport Billy, Jaime Jaren from Lazer Tag Academy, Rubik the Amazing Cube, Raven’s Claw (the dragon from Galtar and the Golden Lance), Zodac from He-Man and Janice from Head of the Class for comic relief.

Captain Nice and Mr. Terrific (the TV one, Stanley Beamish). Though I’m conflicted as to whether it would be a team-up or a versus.

It might be one of the cliched encounters where the heroes mistakenly fight when first meeting then reconcile and join forces.

Knowing these two, though, they would start out declaring their intention to work together, then wind up in an all-out fight which destroys the bad guy’s plans through sheer accident. The fight would end when both of them run out of power in mid-punch, and they knock each other out.

Man, the only two I know for sure would be on my team are Batman and Snake-Eyes. There’s too many to choose from for the rest. Do I pick both a He-Man character and a Thundercat character, or only one? How do I limit myself to only one Star Wars character? Someone from Transformers or someone from Robotech? There’s just too many options!

I’ll add a ninth – the Man out of time: Swamp Fox as played by Leslie Nielsen. He somehow ends up where all those other fools are (the 1980s) and is incredibly confused.

Can’t see this kind of team without Thundarr the Barbarian

Really good. I’d love if you did a follow-up, except with an all-star team of villains.

This reminds me of when I was a kid and wrote what I’d now call a fanfic connecting the plotlines of all of the NES iterations of Double Dragon, Ninja Gaiden, Contra, and obscure game Wrath of the Black Manta.

Time period: 1990-97

Team Leader: Batman (TAS), duh.
The Smart One: Beast (combo between animated series & comics era circa his return to the X-Men after X-Factor) & Spider-Man (Mark Bagley era) could fulfill this role
The Specialist: Nightcrawler (Excalibur era) with his teleporting powers
Strong One: Bumblebee (cartoon) I guess by default because he’s a freaking Transformer
Crabby but Dependable fighters: Wolverine (X-Men Animated Series), Raphael (TMNT cartoon), & Darkwing Duck
Mysterious One: Snake-Eyes (GI Joe cartoon)
Young Upstart: Robin (Tim Drake circa Knightquest when he was out on his own, as a kid I pictured him being about 16-18).

Others Considered: Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Iceman, Aladdin, Kyle Rayner, Superboy from Reign of the Supermen, Iron Man, the Thing, Iron Fist, Optimus Prime, Mighty Max, Leonardo, Kit Cloudkicker from Talespin, Dale & Monterey Jack from Rescue Rangers, Max Goof from Goof Troop, Timon & Pumbaa from Lion King, Scrooge McDuck from DuckTales, Inspector Gadget, Conan from Conan the Adventurer TV series, Sonic the Hedgehog, Allo from Dinosaucers.

1979 (age 2) – 1989 (age 12)

Leader: Hannibal from the A-Team. He loves it when a plan comes together.
Brains: Perceptor (Transformers): the one who turned into a microscope.
Weapon specialist: Roadblock from G.I. Joe. His action figure was the first G.I. Joe I had. Still my favorite.
Stealth: Manimal. Obviously.
The Big Guy: The Hulk. Strongest one there is.
Tech/ transportation: Michael Rider & K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider. Because the General Lee didn’t talk.
Tech/ transportation: Doc Brown & the Delorian: In case the team has to make sure their parents hook up so they’ll be born. You’d be surprised how often that comes up.
Mystic: Dr. Strange. Sorcerer Supreme. ‘Nuff said.
Speed: Cheetara from Thundercats. I’m no furry, but if I was…

Captain Kirk.
Race Bannon.
Emma Peel.
Enemy Ace.
Hawkeye.
The Rat Patrol.
And Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.

Being a kid of the ’90s, here are mine, with attempts made to use characters from as many different series as possible:
Leader: Picard. No contest. He is the greatest leader of anything ever, bar none. He could be hard or soft as the situation depended, and was never afraid to make the difficult choices. He was classy when he could be and badass when he needed to be.
The Badass: Wolverine. From the moment he insisted he go back for Morph he was my favorite X-Man.
The Brains: Rhinox, from Beast Wars. A Transformer and a scientist.
The Specialist: Luke Skywalker. Because hey, Jedi Master. Awesome.
The Smartass: Spider-Man.
The Strong, Sweet one: Broadway from Gargoyles. A great gentle giant kind of character.
The young hotshot: Batgirl.

To me, that would have been1976-1990. Things get complicated, because American stuff came very late here in Brazil, sometimes years later, and I can’t be sure of exactly when I first read/watched something. Some stuff from my teen years may seep in.

I also can’t separate by strong one, smart one, etc. I didn’t think like that when I was a kid, I’d just throw in all the characters I most liked.

COMICS:
- Spider-Man (something between the Roger Stern comic version and the cheezy TV version)
- Wolverine (Claremont version, soon after the death of Phoenix)
- Rorschach (Watchmen impressed me greatly when I was 12)

MOVIES:
- Marty McFly
- Indiana Jones
- Batman (yep, Michael Keaton)

TV Shows:
- Murdock (A-Team)
- The Great American Hero
- Eric, from Dungeons and Dragons
- Probably the heroes from Changeman (a Super Sentai show that was big here in Brazil)

I usually liked the characters that had the most idiosyncratic personality. The crazies and loners. They couldn’t really work as a team!

Man, I’ve got pretty much the entire 1980s to work from here (not to mention all the older cartoons I watched on 80s cable), so it becomes a hard team to make.

My leader would have to be Captain Power, almost certainly still really sad after the death of poor Pilot.

My Strong Guy would have to be Ultimate Warrior, clearly the strongest man that ever lived (sorry He-Man).

On the tactical side, Matt Trakker would have to be the transportation guy and for expediency, he can bring all the MASK vehicles with him too. If need be, he could always call in reserve members Stringfellow Hawke (w/ Airwolf) and Michael Knight (w/ Kitt) and the guy that combined both of them, The Highwayman.

Snake-Eyes and Raphael would be the team ninjas and working alongside him would be Wolverine, a character I mostly knew for much of the 80s because he had a really cool action figure from the Secret Wars line. That would keep the action level on high.

Superman would be my powerhouse and probably serve as babysitter to my other two favorite characters from Super Friends, the Wonder Twins.

Indiana Jones would serve as the team’s travel guide/guy with a whip.

Wicket W. Warrick would be the team’s survival expert and could serve as a reluctant replacement for Gleek.

Rounding out the team would be the brains of the operation, Velma Dinkley, and her young protege, Encyclopedia Brown.

Oh, and Skids would be the team Transformer, because what kid that grew up in the 80s isn’t going to include a Transformer.

Really good. I’d love if you did a follow-up, except with an all-star team of villains.

Ha! Well, I’m glad you liked it. But if I was going to burn down any more time on a non-paying fanfic I’d either finish this one or go back to the League of Kenneth Johnson Gentlemen and finish THAT one.

Anyway, the villainous version would be pulling from pretty much the same pool, so I don’t think there’d be that much difference. The Frank Gorshin Riddler, 1970s Luthor, Doctor Zin from Jonny Quest, Dr. Miguelito Loveless, Metallus and his robot horde…. I’d have essentially the same set of problems to solve getting them all together.

1972-1978

The Strong One: Gigantor
The Smart One: Professor Phineas J. Whoopee (“the man with all the answers!”)
The Mysterious One: Enik (evolved Sleestack)
The Specialist: Ricochet Rabbit (trick bullets)
The Crabby-But-Still-Dependable One: Fish (just because Abe Vigoda)
And of course the Leader: Charlie (I guess his Angels can hang out around the headquarters, too)

In thinking about my childhood (late ’70s to early ’80s), I realized that most of the heroes I admired in books, television shows and movies were children themselves. So here’s my All-Kid Superstar Team:

The Leader – Jeffrey Jones, time-traveling adventurer (Voyagers!)
The Reluctant Warrior – Will, resistance leader (The White Mountains/Tripods series)
The Hidden Badass – Katie Welker, telekinetic pre-teen (The Girl With the Silver Eyes)
The Gadgeteer – Richard “Data” Wang, intrepid inventor (The Goonies)
The Survivalist – Sam Gribley, falcon-friendly teenage Thoreau (My Side of the Mountain)
The Eccentric Detective – Jupiter Jones (The Three Investigators series)
The Con Artist – Tom Fitzgerald, genius grifter (The Great Brain)
The Maverick – Andrea, high-flying heroine (Mail Order Wings)
The Heart and Soul – Kevin, speaks truth to Evil (Time Bandits)

I was always way more interested in the women heroes when I was a kid than the guys, which pretty much set up my attraction to powerful women throughout my life. But here’s the thing: I didn’t necessarily know the difference when I was a kid between the new stuff (A-Team, Knight Rider) and the old stuff (Batman, Get Smart). Still, much as I’d love to use Batgirl from the Adam West series, I’ll restrict myself to the stuff that was actually new when I was a kid. Just for the heck of it, I’ll leave out comics entirely.

The Leader: Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter, natch)
The Brains: Sabrina Duncan (Kate Jackson on Charlie’s Angels)
The Heart: Isis (live action TV version)
The Argumentative One: Colonel Wilma Deering (Buck Rogers TV show)
The Field Agent: The Bionic Woman
The Unstable Heavy: Ursa (Superman II)
The WIld Card/Comic Relief: Dyno-Mutt

Much as I’d love to include Foxy Brown, Electra Woman or Kate Monday from Mathnet, I didn’t discover them until much later.

@Omar you absolutely have to rewrite that. Bonus points if you include Solid Snake from the NES Metal Gear. Even more bonus points if you work it all into the backstory from the Metal Gear Solid console games.

The Leader – Jeffrey Jones, time-traveling adventurer (Voyagers!)
The Reluctant Warrior – Will, resistance leader (The White Mountains/Tripods series)
The Hidden Badass – Katie Welker, telekinetic pre-teen (The Girl With the Silver Eyes)
The Gadgeteer – Richard “Data” Wang, intrepid inventor (The Goonies)
The Survivalist – Sam Gribley, falcon-friendly teenage Thoreau (My Side of the Mountain)
The Eccentric Detective – Jupiter Jones (The Three Investigators series)
The Con Artist – Tom Fitzgerald, genius grifter (The Great Brain)
The Maverick – Andrea, high-flying heroine (Mail Order Wings)
The Heart and Soul – Kevin, speaks truth to Evil (Time Bandits)

I love this one SO MUCH. Jupiter Jones, Tom Fitgerald, AND Katie Welker?! … someone should change the names and write this one. I’d buy it.

Not for nothing (since this is the only Mod Squad footage I’ve ever seen), but are we SURE that Linc isn’t Morpheus? Because he’s sure got Morpheus’s super Matrix-manipulating fightin’ moves down pat!

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