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I Love Ya But You’re Strange – That Time Wolverine “Fought” a Little Lisping Girl Robot Bomb

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Every installment of I Love Ya But You’re Strange I spotlight strange but ultimately endearing comic stories. Here is the archive of all the installments of this feature. Feel free to e-mail me at bcronin@comicbookresources.com if you have a suggestion for a future installment!

Today, in response to folks asking to see her on the Top Five Wolverine Female Friends list, I figured I’d spotlight the utterly bizarre (but awesome) character, Elsie Dee!

After a quick cameo at the end of Wolverine #37, we get a quick cameo of Elsie Dee and Albert, but Wolverine #38 (by Larry Hama, Marc Silvestri and Dan Green), first sees them in action, as they drive around robbing people…

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We learn that this is all part of Donald Pierce’s evil plan, as he built a Wolverine robot to draw Wolverine into investigating, and then a cute lisping little girl android who would then have to be “saved” by Wolverine, only to then explode and destroy Wolverine…

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I love how incompetent the Reavers are.

So anyhow, Elsie now improves herself and the robot Wolverine, who she names Albert…

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At the end of Wolverine #38, Wolverine catches up to Albert and kicks his ass, but this leads to Elsie implementing her prime directive…

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Storm is around, so at the start of Wolverine #39 (by Hama, Silvestri and Green), she tries to put out the fire, but Elsie has to stop her…

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This leads to Wolverine having to literally walk through the fire to save the “innocent girl”…

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Awesome artwork.

Go to the next page to see the heartwarming sequence where Elsie reveals her true nature to Wolverine, but Wolverine won’t accept that she is just her programming…

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44 Comments

The sad thing is, this _is_ one of the best Wolverine stories ever.

And it entirely fails to work nonetheless. Sorry, Brian, but that is how I feel.

Plot worked well enough Doctor Who stole it for ‘Victory of the Daleks.’

Man, half and issue of Larry Hama’s Wolverine dialect talking to Elsie Dee’s lisp somehow makes up for years of Claremont dialect tics.

Beautiful story. Had nothing to do with anything, completely crazy idea, really really makes you like Logan like not much else does. Well,me anyway.

I like how Storm gets the TM in there for Audio-Animatronic. Did she say it as an aside? Sotto voce? Heh.

I encountered Albert and Elsie-Dee in Wolverine 51, the first issue of that I bought. No idea what was going on, and it still confuses me!

Man, a few days ago, that was 24 years since I got that issue, and that’s where I started collecting comics hardcore! Hoo hah!

Laurence J Sinclair

January 9, 2016 at 2:42 am

Did Sabretooth call Wolverine his son in that helicopter fight?

I read these when they came out. I think it was this story that made me realize what a deeply weird comic Wolverine was. Larry Hama is something else.

Silvestri’s art here is fantastic. He’s one of those artists that looks better on newsprint than glossy paper, IMO.

Yes, yes, just the artwork is beyond awesome. Silvestri truly killed it on Wolverine. In all honesty, I rember reading it and thinking the whole time how stupid this is, but at the same time also how cool:)

C’mon, seriously, did you actually expect something other than this kind of crap from LARRY HAMA????

Goofy but yes,it works for me—and Wolverine stories usually don’t.

Elsie Dee sucks. There, I said it.

Elsie Dee was great and Michael P’s wrong. There, I said it.

Someday, perhaps, she’ll come back, along with her twin sister Ellie and her hippy older brother Ellis.

How do any of those characters stand up on those non existent ankles?

Feet are rare for Silvestri. There always seems to be some dust to kick up when the X-Men or Cyber Force are around.

Also, a lisp is turning “s” into “th”. What Elsie Dee, who sucks, has is called a rhotacism. And it’s a very big reason why she sucks.

Michael P was absolutley right that Elsie Dee sucks. And all these years later she still sucks. And in retrospect she sucked in all the Wolverine issues that she was in.

There I said it.

I was never really ll that interested in Wolverine’s solo series. I dabbled a bit in its heyday, c. 1988-1991, but it never really could keep my attention, despite being an X-Men completist during that period. But these issues seem like a lot of fun, even though I usually prefer my super-heroes played straight and not for laughs.

So is Elsie Dee is rigged to explode when Logan comes close due to her “proximity circuit,” shouldn’t Logan think to find out whether the circuit might deactivate if he leaves her proximity? Wouldn’t it make more sense for Storm to stick with her while Logan backs off to see what happens? Or at least to ask Elsie if that might not work?

Fun to see how comic fans are always the same sad angry whiny types that need to insult weird cute characters even 25 years after a story has been published.

I only saw Elsie Dee in one Wolverine issue but I could already tell she was great. :)

Thanks for showing the whole story.

Some people really seem to be obsessed with feet in comics. Why does it always pop up? Yes, we all heard about the lame Liefeld feet complaint, but even there it just jumping on a train being on a dead track for ages.
Seriously, what are artists supposed to draw? 20 pages of feet? Get over it.

Anybody out there remember the game Wolverine: Adamantium Rage? She was in there as well, along with a whole bunch of enemies from Wolverine’s rogue’s gallery.

I’d love to sit down and read those early Larry Hama issues. I read an interview recently where Hama said that the first year was where he had the most amount of freedom on the series, and in stories like these, they really show. Elsie-Dee and Albert sound like a wacky idea on paper, but he pulls it off, eh?

They also showed up in Exiles #85 & 86, along with every other conceivable Wolverine (Zombie Logan, too). Unlike the majority, Albert and Elsie Dee were central characters. There was no backstory so I had no idea of their whys or wherefores, just that they were very weird, very neat, and very heroic, mostly. Some of those Exiles books were off the charts awesome.

i liked how elsie dee and albert proved that even a machine is more then its programing. even if when she was originaly going to fulfill pierces plans and blow him up she gave storm some attitude. plus seems pierce when bone breaker revealed he gave elsie the power to override her programming and stop the countdown pierce forgot to give the reavers full intelligence programs.

How great was Silvestri? Loved his facial expressions and he was great with humor, just look ate Jubilee and Elsie Dee at the diner.

How great was Silvestri? Loved his facial expressions and he was great with humor, just look ate Jubilee and Elsie Dee at the diner.

You’re not kidding. One of my all-time favorite Silvestri issues is the introduction of Jubilee in Uncanny #244. There’s a panel of Dazzler squealing “Let’s go SHOPPING!” which is priceless. Plus all sorts of panels of Storm looking uncomfortable in fancy clothes, and other fun stuff.

I love Elsie Dee and Albert. They’re simply great in their kookiness. :)

“I love how incompetent the Reavers are”

In Bonebreaker’s defense, he was distracted by a temporal storm caused by Wolverine and Deathstrike, iirc.

“Fun to see how comic fans are always the same sad angry whiny types that need to insult weird cute characters even 25 years after a story has been published.”

None of this sad, angry ad hominem whining changes the fact that Elsie Dee still sucks. 25 years is not going to make her… unsuck.

These were great issues. Elsie Dee’s accent was annoying at first but once she got to be an interesting character I got over it. I’m reading Tieri’s Wolverine and this reminded how great Wolverine solo issues can be.

While I wasn’t a huge fan of Elsie Dee and Albert, I did enjoy those issues that they appeared in. Hama made a goofy idea into a very fun and entertaining story. IMO, Hama is tied with Claremont and Byrne as my all time favorite Wolverine writers and Hama’s WOLVERINE run is my all time favorite run on any solo WOLVERINE comic.

Bernard the Poet

January 10, 2016 at 3:08 am

No-one has mentioned that Elsie says “Cocoa butter is wank.”

In British English that is really foul language.

This was both a weird and great time for the solo Wolverine book.

Just before this story we had a time-displaced Wolvie and a pre-shrinkage Puck duking it out with Nazis and Lady Deathstrike during the Spanish Civil War with a Hemmingway cameo!

Doesn’t get any crazier than that. By all rights none of this stuff should have worked on paper but Hama always manages to take the fantastical and absurd and somehow makes it seem logical and most importantly, readable.

Ferb Morgendorffer

January 10, 2016 at 5:15 am

Warren B, next time just save everyone some time and say “nuh uh, does too suck!”, it’s about as mature.

A Horde of Evil Hipsters

January 10, 2016 at 6:33 am

Larry Hama is/was such a delightfully bizarre writer. These Wolverine stories in particular, but also the G.I. Joe stuff with Cobra as some kind of a pyramid scam run by a frustrated used cars salesman (or something like that, it’s been 20+ years since I’ve read those comics). Warren Ellis once described Hama as “insane”, and meant it as a compliment. I would agree.

Hama is weird, and he writes weird stories on a single title forever. His runs are so long on characters. He’s awesome like that. Frankly, when people try saying how run of the mill this era was with the character, I assume they didn’t actually read these stories.

Also, it was a rare bit of fortune that someone who wrote wolverine actually had a thorough understanding of Japanese culture.

Becca Danny's Wife

January 10, 2016 at 5:12 pm

When did a simple speech impediment (shades of Elmer Fudd!) become a lisp? A lisp is pretty thpethific, if you will.

Bit of an aside, but I think it’s interesting that Sabretooth actually refers to Wolverine as his “son,” here. Looks like Claremont’s original plan to have Sabretooth be Logan’s father was officially canon for a while, eh? That could be an “Abandoned and Forsakened” entry of its own, perhaps…

Will everybody please refrain from discussing whether Elise Dee sucks or not? I find Wolverine’s lack of clothes (while holding an underage girl) disturbing enough as it is.

BTW Albert and Elise Dee were transported into a parallel dimension (that might or might not have ceased to exist when Jubilee who had been captured by Abcissa rejected Mojo’s offer to _become_ Abcissa in exchange for saving Wolverine’s life) by Spiral who in turn took possession of their cruise missile and who promptly forgot about it as per the rules of time travel and is therefore unable to retrieve them (even if said dimension still existed) during an adventure that involved Wolverine destroying the universe while riding the aforementioned cruise missile in order to save it.
In short, just another Larry Hama story.

I’m surprised that the creative team took into consideration that even though she’s a robot, Cable would still be back-handing a little girl so they move her off-panel.

I can’t believe he made Avenger status before his dad. ;)

I remember Erik Larsen used to always say how Silvestri was unquestionably the best natural, effortless artist of all the original Image guys, and it shows here.

Count me in as a Silvestri fan. Although I admit Jim Lee had a much slicker, polished product, it lacked a lot of the life and fluidity of Silvestri. He drew great emotions, his panel to panel continuity, especially in fight scenes, was far better than Jim Lee’s (a perfect example of Jim Lee’s weird storytelling is that story Brian featured recently where an X-Men/Imperial Guard fight ends abruptly and off-panel). I always personally preferred Silversti and wish he did more work that was attached to a good writer (I couldn’t tolerate his Cyberforce stuff because of the writing).

Whether you liked Elsie Dee or not, the stories themselves were comics gold!

Wolverine, Cable, and Sabretooth, all fighting in the sewers of New York during flood conditions? Come on!

If you can’t enjoy that, you just aren’t American! ;p

I loved this storyline. One thing that I think you didn’t really underscore here was the actually rather sweet relationship between Albert and Elsie. They mostly just care for each other, and I think Albert would have been happy to just take care of her if his programming didn’t keep forcing him to try to kill Logan. Their time travel storyline was mega-weird, though.

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