SPIDER-MANDATE: The Lowe-down on "Secret Wars," Tie-Ins and Stacey Lee
(Disclaimer: This is satire. Or parody. Some sort of comedic, protected speech that no one can sue me, Brian, or Jonah over. Trust me. It’s also 100% a figment of my imagination. So, hopefully, I’ll only face scorn from the comments section over not being “funny” or “coherent” or “not worthy of existing”, or whatever pretentious liberal artsy criticisms those snobs have.)
“You sure did me a solid by writing that awful JLA comic,” Loeb was overheard saying to Robinson at Comic Con, according to Broken News’s crack spies on the convention floor.* Continue Reading »
Dear Comic Book Bloggers,
I get it. The first issue of James Robinson’s Justice League comic is bad. Really, really bad. Terrible. Risible. Like a Frankenstein’s monster of all the hacky cliches everyone hates about modern superhero comics (or it’s an average DC comic, if you’re T.). It is the worst thing in the history of ever, at least until the next issue comes out, or Jeph Loeb ups the ante with Ultimatum 2: Ultimatumer, Or: There’s Still Some Meat On Ultimate Wasp’s Corpse! Get To It Blob!
So, if you wanted even people who were pretty well ignoring it (including Joe Sacco, apparently) to know it’s risibly bad, mission accomplished. I’m pretty sure they know on the moon now. So, really, unless you are Abhay, Jeff Lester, or someone else who I like to read no matter what dumb crap they’re reviewing, you can all shut the hell up about it forever now.
The One Guy On The Internet That Did Not Purchase This Comic And Missed Out On A Chance To Mock It Before It Became Cliched, But Is Not Bitter About It At All, Seriously, And Can You Believe This Is Also On My Business Card? That cost a ton,
P.S.: Is it still funny to point out that the logo looks like it says “Gay for Justice”? Was it ever? Is Chris Butcher going to put me on “the list” if I say it’s funny? Does Chris Butcher have a list? Does he still read this blog despite our fear of penises being on par with the women in South Park? Is Cronin pissed because I brought all that up again? Will Omar Karindu and Apodaca ever admit their secret love for one another? When did this turn in to a Days of Our Lives teaser?
Whether you like it or not! Because no one demanded it! Fake news with comics book creators! Continue Reading »
It’s– pretty much exactly who you’d expect. With some exceptions. So, it’s still worth reading possibly. Definitely maybe! Continue Reading »
Following on the heels of this Earth-Shattering, if not particularly well proof read, announcement, word has just come in to CBSG’s crack staff of investigative reporters (i.e., a group of trained monkeys and Greg Burgas’s children) that all of comicdom’s most prominent self publishers have decided they want to chase that dollar dollar bill, y’all, at the expense of all their accured credibility.
Integrity in Comics Industry dead at 35 after a long illness; mourners asked to burn X-Men comics in lieu of sending flowers Continue Reading »
Whenever a new work written by Grant Morrison is released, there are usually two very extreme reactions to it; either it’s a staggering work of kinetic genius, or it’s a bunch of incomprehensible, pretentious gobbledygook. So, a critic taking the second opinion isn’t usually such an Earth shattering thing (unless he’s Greg Burgas or something and has invectives and other metaphorical feces hurled at him). Except for the fact that this time, it was Grant Morrison himself. Continue Reading »
“Everybody laugh at the funny joke!” adds Dan Didio Continue Reading »
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