O Say Can You See: The Greatest Patriotic Super Heroes of All-Time
At least I got this out before the Oscars.
In an effort to try something slightly different with these annual retrospectives, I will now present to you not necessarily the best in comics– I’m not the scholar for that– but the five comics published in the year of our King Kirby 2009 that possessed the most raditude. These are the comics that got drunk and made out with my brain while leaping the gorge on a skateboard that was on fire– only the bitchin’est, most awesome comics need apply. Onwards!
I thought about relaunching with a new #1, but I think the fans care about the title’s prestigious history.
Special anniversary issue! U-DECIDE the caption!:
A.) Game shows are gonna suck in the future.
B.) It may defeat the purpose if the doors are transparent.
C.) Captain Comet never thought his sexual inclinations would be revealed in such a manner.
Goodbye, cruel world! You’re not going to have Comics Are Awesome to push around anymore! Well, okay, you might, maybe, at some point. But for now, enjoy this one, last, super-final, ultimate special extravaganza that will BLOW YOUR MIND.
Stay awesome, comics.
Boy howdy, they sure liked to strap suspicious-looking gorillas into chairs back in the Silver Age.
112% Rex the Wonder Dog. (Kisses, MGK.)
Eight thousand prizes is almost too many prizes.
Also, this was the original premise for Shel Silverstein’s “Where the Sidewalk Ends.”
Why yes, that would be quite unexpected.
Special Valentine’s Day episode!
I really feel like this is something that would be expected, as he would have to have taken the skeleton out of his little box and walked onto stage with him, unless the skeleton was a master of disguise, as the story title implies. Again, I prefer to think of the ventriloquist as a fellow who had a psychotic break and so murders little people and takes their skeletons onto stage with him, because it is funnier.
Add another one onto the “Actually a Skeleton!” cover meme. From decades ago.
SWIPE FILE time!
Then again, I suppose there’s only so many ways you can draw a gorilla strapped into a chair. But, man! Only seven issues apart? Was audience turnover that fast, or is this a long-running plot thread where Captain Comet commits murders in the body of a gorilla and blames it on other people? Because that would be awesome.
This issue seems slightly less astonishing than average. “YOU WILL BELIEVE A MAN CAN OPEN A DOOR!”
I can’t explain it, but this cover just makes me laugh and laugh.
(suggested by sgt rawk)
Why read those three books when you can read the Roy Thomas-penned Marvel Illustrated versions? Eh?
Anyway, those aren’t the three books required to conquer the world. The following three, however, would do just nicely:
1. If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor, by Bruce Campbell
2. The Dilbert Future, by Scott Adams
3. There’s a Monster at the End of This Book, by Grover
Do you dare wield the STAGGERING POWER!?
(If you only want to conquer part of the world, however, you can substitute in The Areas of My Expertise by John Hodgman, Superfudge by Judy Blume and Everybody Poops by someone who poops.)
“BAT”BOY GET IT? GET IT?
1. Where is the rotor?
2. Who is flying this thing?
3. Has the artist ever seen a helicopter?
4. I love comics.
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