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What I Bought

What I bought – 15 August 2012

“Stories have no point if they don’t absorb our terror.” (Don DeLillo, from Mao II)

What are the odds of her falling down right in front of tiger graffiti???? This is a good cover because at first glance you might not notice how nasty it is! Man, that's busy It's back! ... and then, it's gone again No, that's not an Adam Hughes cover She fears ... the reader! Yeah, I have no idea what the crap is going on here Farewell, Pigs! Because that makes sense! Um, spoiler alert? Darwin really ought to pay attention to the giant floating wolf head behind him There really is a pretty decent in-story reason that we get to see that magnificent ass! I now own three copies of this! Gabriel Hardman is good, yo! Yay, another printing! I keep hoping these will be great! More sexytime comics! Well, this looks ... weird Will it get good again????
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What I bought – 8 August 2012

“People who claim that they’re evil are usually no worse than the rest of us.” He sighed. “It’s people who claim that they’re good, or anyway better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of.” (Gregory Maguire, from Wicked)

Everyone likes an adult beverage now and then! This cover references absolutely nothing in the comic! Well, it's about time The 'eyes' have it! STOKOE!!!!! Take that, pirate! I got nothin'Still nothin' So sad! Two-fisted adventure! Dang Damned dirty Russkies!
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What I bought – 1 August 2012

“It is only petty men who seem normal.” (Umberto Eco, from The Name of the Rose)

Luckily, she has insurance Holy crappity-crap Shop ... at .. Target ... Somehow I don't think that dinosaur will respect a fighting stance like that Freaky! Seriously? Yeah, I have no idea either It's the Three Faces of Shadow! What are they doing to that poor chap's head? It's all metaphorical and shit! Take your time, guys - I can wait!
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What I bought – 25 July 2012

“It’s all right. Keep right on lying to me. That’s what I want you to do.” (Ernest Hemingway, from A Farewell To Arms)

That HAS to be a fire hazard! Time it takes her to braid her hair? Six hours! How nice! A bedtime story! Just when you think it can't get any more insane ... I should walk around with a toe tag on and freak people out Markham just enjoys ... hanging out Not a dream!  Not a hoax! Is Clor praying? You'll be smarter after you read this ... trust me! The end is nigh! This better be worth it! Vampires will be slayed! Nazis will be slayed! Hot welding action!

As you might be able to figure out, there’s a NSFW panel below. No gold star for figuring out which comic it comes from! I just thought it would be better to tell you now!
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What I bought – 11 and 18 July 2012

“How do you feel, Yossarian?”

“Fine. No, I’m very frightened.”

“That’s good,” said Major Danby. “It proves you’re still alive.” (Joseph Heller, from Catch-22)

Where's the octopus in this book, damn it? She'd look a lot more bad-ass if it weren't for that STUPID COSTUME!!!! Symbolism! I'd be too busy freaked out to fight! Look at that hair!!!! Man, this is insane ONE HUNDRED FOUR PAGES, BITCHES!!!!! Dang, that's an ugly cover Why does he have a four on his chest? Holy crap, that's an awesome cover Oh, John, you rascal! Dude, keep your hands on the handlebars! Touch it!!!! That's some bad breath right there Let's debate this cover below! Where's the credit? Trippy! TWO supine female characters?  Does Kelly know about this? Is she the princess or the warrior? No wonder cats hate water It's a kids' book! Does that sword whistle when he uses it? What are they looking at? Gotta catch up! Am I going to hell for supporting this? Clint, no! Dang, that's a big sword
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What I bought – 4 July 2012

“The parts that don’t matter hurt. It’s the places where it doesn’t hurt that the real damage is done.”

“Sounds like life.” (Simon Mawar, from The Gospel of Judas)

I love how the stitches spell out words It's all reversey and shit! I don't get this cover Dang, another awesome cover Motherfuckin' DAZZLER!!!! Hey, look, it's like a computer - how clever!
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What I bought – 27 June 2012

“The question is can you cure the disease before it kills you? Once you set out consciously to cure the disease, as I did even before I knew the word cancer, you run the risk of catching it. Comprende? Whatever you set your mind to, your personal total obsession, this is what kills you. Poetry kills you if you’re a poet, and so on. People choose their death whether they know it or not.” (Don DeLillo, from Libra)

Rejoice! Two in the same week?  Are you kidding me? No, I don't know why the other heroes are on this cover She doesn't need to get dressed to kick ass! FDR doesn't tell good jokes! Well, holy shit Still not the greatest recoloring In Technocolor! Pirate Conan! Wow, the Dodsons managed three whole consecutive issues! Behold my two penis substitutes! I have no idea what the fuck is going on with this comic anymore This will be good, right? Eddie Campbell is weird It's all olde-tyme! Keep lookin' ...
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What I bought – 20 June 2012

For them it might stave off what he could not help but see with clarity: that the world was silent and cold and bare and that in this lay its terrible beauty. (David Guterson, from Snow Falling on Cedars)

Poor little Sentinel! I like how she's going to fight all those bad guys with that little weapon More freaky than you are! Sure, let's go around again! You'd think that ghosts would be beyond modesty BLAMMO!!!! Yet another exhibit of why dolls are freaky This would be a lot cooler if it weren't so dark Man, Bisley is good at these! That is a REALLY shiny knife My retailer squirreled away a lot of the best ones, but I do dig this card! I really expect more from Francavilla Talk about phoning it in! He's a cool assassin because he smokes weed! My mind is full of stuff like that all the time! I love the scarf! Get it??? It's all mod and shit! It's olde-tyme Lemire! Admit it: you totally thought this dude was naked! Tardi FTW! Now, where's my Blueberry omnibus for a side-by-side comparison?!? Steampunk?  Really?
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What I bought – 13 June 2012

For, if one can ask and receive eternity from God, then we can take the opposite of eternity – time – only from Satan … (Milorad Pavić, from Dictionary of the Khazars)

Come on - you know you want to sing the song whenever you see this comic! Bolland-tastic! I can't help thinking of porn variations of this title This too Conveniently, the Apocalypse in this book is scheduled for 2012 Kirby Hale - everyone's favorite rogue The Hobgoblin debuts and Marvel reprints a Vulture cover? I'm not quoted on the back of this, which fills me with rage!!!! I'm wary of anything that claims to be 'historically accurate' Computer-generated, but pretty cool-looking!
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What I bought – 6 June 2012

“That’s what I came to tell you, that I can’t free our people from the rule of the Romans.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not true freedom. Any freedom that can be given can be taken away. Moses didn’t need to ask Pharaoh to release our people, our people didn’t need to be released from the Babylonians, and they don’t need to be released from the Romans. I can’t give them freedom. Freedom is in their hearts, they merely have to find it.” (Christopher Moore, from Lamb)

Why does Hazmat have Parkinson's? I like big butts and I cannot lie Well, it's not a hook hand, but it's close enough! So much barf I don't get the title of this issue Three chicks on the open highway! Everyone loves Cairo! Does he live on the Moth Moon?
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What I bought – 30 May 2012

People often die in the night, devoured by their own nightmares. (Greg Bear, from “Petra”)

The end of many eras! I don't know why he looks depressed - I would love to watch movies in an empty theater! None more black Is it morally reprehensible to buy a comic with a cover by Darwyn Cooke? That awful logo almost ruins this cover I doubt if he was the only one Oh, the rage!
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What I bought – 23 May 2012

“That’s one of the Devil’s main tricks, of course. Fill a man with faith. What evils, what absolute horrors the noble sword of faith sends pouring into the world!” (John Gardner, from Freddy’s Book)


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What I bought – 16 May 2012

It is demonstrably plain that, were the whole matter of victualling the world on a non-national footing taken right out of the hands of the strutting male and handed over to a dozen sensible women who do not want to have their children killed, politics, which are nothing but a glorified form of housekeeping, would long since have been deflated to the problem of running a canteen. (William Gerhardie, from God’s Fifth Column)


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What I bought – 9 May 2012

He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden behind the dark mustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother. (George Orwell, from 1984)

Hey, that dude has no head! She doesn't look happy! Man, that's some clear water, ain't it? More covers than you can shake a stick at! I'm not sure who he's supposed to be confronting SOOOOOOOK!!!! Never trust the woman! Now THAT'S a team-up! Burn that Bible! I just don't get the Beatles
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What I bought – 2 May 2012

Has the world lost its joy? Is that why we’re in such a mess? (Madeleine L’Engle, from A Swiftly Tilting Planet)

So much good stuff! This is a wildly deceptive cover Power to the princess! RAGE!!!!! Brian Bolland, doing what he does Her eyes follow me!!!! I don't know who that's supposed to be I'm LOVING the new costume! Why so angry, Mr. Star? Only crazy people don't like Rafael Albuquerque! It's time to read some DC trades! Look at cute l'il Howard! I hate every ape I see ...
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