The Anchor #2 ("Five Furies Part Two: Bark and Hide, Bone and Root") by Phil Hester (writer), Brian Churilla (artist), Matthew Wilson (colorist), and Johnny Lowe (letterer). $3.99, 22 pgs, FC, Boom! Studios.

We continue the first arc, as we get a bit of backstory about "Clem" on the first two pages, hearkening back to when the Vikings roamed the seas and men lugging anchors crawled out of the ocean. Then we're back to the present, and our hero and his new pal, Hofi, head to Scotland to battle a half-man, half-elk, who, unfortunately, can't keep his mouth shut. Oh, and the ghost of a teenager joins the cast. And some mean United States government people show up, because the United States government just can't keep its grubby little paws out of things, can it? It's mostly plot-building, although Hester does a nice job with it, and Churilla does a great job with the fight between Clem and the Elkman. Churilla makes the Elkman really frightening and majestic - he's a formidable challenge for Clem. And Churilla has fun with the brief scene in Hell, too.

As always, I'll give this series an arc and see where we stand. It's still an intriguing idea, and Hester has a good idea of where he's going with it (or so it seems), even though I wish the United States government wasn't quite so sinister. But both the writing and art are strong in this book, and Hester has a lot going on here.

Batman and Robin #6 ("Revenge of the Red Hood Part Three: Flamingo is Here") by Grant "All right, you bastards, next issue you get Cameron Stewart - are you happy now?" Morrison (writer), Philip Tan (penciller), Jonathan Glapion (inker), Alex Sinclair (colorist), and Patrick Brosseau (letterer). $2.99, 24 pgs, FC, DC.

I've been defending Tan on this book, and I still don't think he's awful, but he screws up the Flamingo, and it's a shame. It doesn't help that Quitely draws him on the cover and Tan draws the interiors, because we can compare a good version with a not-so-good version. Quitely's Flamingo is suave and dangerous, while Tan's is just nutty. He's just another somewhat dull Batman villain, and it's too bad. Batman's villains are often as well-defined by their look as by their characterization, and Tan's Flamingo lacks the flair that makes him a truly great Batman villain (I guess technically he's a Red Hood villain, but you get my drift). He's just a wacko. Robin's line, "I was expecting scary, not gay," doesn't work too well, because Tan's Flamingo isn't as "gay" as Quitely's. Tan does a few things well - his Scarlet lying on the ground, beaten to a pulp, is a tragic panel - but his biggest problem when teamed with Morrison on Batman is that he lacks the slight cartoony edge that Morrison's scripts seem to demand. Quitely has that, and so does Stewart, while his collaborators on his earlier run are more like Tan (with the exception of the ever-changeable Williams III). If this issue weren't quite as "brutal" in the way Tan draws it, Flamingo's abilities might feel more brutal, if that makes sense.

Because, for a fight issue, it's pretty effective. Flamingo's lack of speaking makes him more creepy, and Damian's slow journey to non-bastardness reaches an important signpost in this issue. Morrison also does a nice job at the end, when Jason confronts Dick about his feelings toward Bruce, because it's accurate. The entire epilogue of the issue is well done, from that confrontation to the fate of Scarlet to the scene with Oberon Sexton. I'm sure smarter people than I am can delve into the "W" on the back of El Penitente (I'm going to assume that's El Penitente), but I am unsure why the final page is supposed to be dramatic. Can anyone help?

Anyway, everyone who couldn't stand Tan's art can relax now. It's certainly not great, but for the most part, it did its job. And Morrison continues to have his moments of brilliance in a solid story. I'm glad he's doing something with Damian, because I'm still annoyed that Bruce is "dead." It's frustrating reading his take on Dick and Damian, because we know Bruce is coming back, so Morrison can't do too much with establishing them as the true Batman and Robin. This doesn't bug me as much as it does Jog, but it's definitely hindering the God of All Comics, it seems. When Morrison focuses on the good guys versus the bad guys, he does a good job, but the world-building isn't as strong.

The Black Coat: ... Or Give Me Death #1 and 2 by Ben Lichius (writer/colorist), Adam Cogan (story), Francesco Francavilla (artist, part one), Dean Kotz (artist, part two), and Chris Studabaker (letterer). $4.50, 44 pgs, FC (mostly), Ape Entertainment.

Man, I've been waiting for The Black Coat to return, and here it is! Life is good! Now, if only the next two issues could come out in a timely fashion, I'll be a happy camper!

For those of you who don't know, The Black Coat tells the tale of a mysterious vigilante in 1775 New York who fights the "tyranny" of the British (who weren't all that tyrannical, after all) as the colonies gear up for war. The Black Coat fights weird supernatural beings in league with the British and an evil organization called the League, and at the end of the first series, he battled a scientist who had created an immortality serum. They both ended up in the harbor, seemingly dead, but they both had ingested the serum, so of course they're still alive! At the beginning of this comic, the Black Coat's lady friend, Ursula, finds his body in the harbor (she's wearing a diving suit and traveling in a submarine, don't you know) and manages to get him home, where he eventually revives. Of course, he needs to keep taking the serum or he'll go nutty, and there's very little serum left. So he has a problem - he needs to create more serum, or all will be lost!!!!!

Lichius and Cogan not only give us a story about the Black Coat's quest for the scientist's brother, who may be able to synthesize more serum, but also a larger story about the beginnings of the war and what the colonists are doing to rebel. Lichius places it in a larger framework of supernatural evil, which doesn't work perfectly (it always bugs me when writers attribute war to grand machinations of the few when men are perfectly willing to kill each other without any nudging in that direction), but I don't mind in the context of the story. It's a terrifically exciting comic, with a giant gargoyle menacing our hero, back alley dealings, a creepy bandaged dude, and the Black Coat going slowly insane, which adds nice tension to the proceedings.

Francavilla started on art, but the delays in the book meant he moved on, which is a shame (although I'm certainly glad to see him on Zorro; it just would have been nice if he could have finished this). However, Kotz is quite good (I don't like him as much as Francavilla, but he's still good), and he's a good fit to finish the series, because he has a similar style to Francavilla. He draws a mean-looking gargoyle, too.

I know this is going to sell about 200 copies, which really stinks. It's an exciting, interesting, nicely-drawn comic that remains grounded in historical reality (sort of) even though Lichius and Cogan take it into supernatural territory. They don't go overboard, however, which is nice. The build-up to the war is as interesting as the supernatural stuff. If you've missed The Black Coat until now, it's time to rectify that oversight!

Comic Book Comics #4 ("Leagelese!") by Fred van Lente (writer) and Ryan Dunlavey (artist). $3.99, 40 pgs, BW, Evil Twin Comics.

Speaking of long-delayed comics, it's the fourth issue of Comic Book Comics!!!! Yay!!!!

I have no problem with this taking so long, because of a few reasons. First, it's 40 pages for 4 dollars. Second, Dunlavey packs the issue with detailed panels full of wacky sight gags, so if takes him a while to draw it, that's cool. Third, van Lente has to, presumably, do a ton of meticulous detail for these (I imagine he doesn't know all this stuff off the top of his head), which takes a while but makes each issue a blast-and-a-half to read. Fourth, given the fickle comics-buying public, I'm sure van Lente and Dunlavey make no frickin' money at all on this, so they have to earn a living somewhere and fit this in when they can (like, one of those nights when you've eaten too many Doritos to sleep and your subscription to Skinemax has been cancelled and you figure it's time to work on an issue!). Van Lente and Dunlavey can take as long as they want with this, in my opinion.

This might be the best issue of the series yet, probably because the Fifties through Seventies are a bit more documented than the early days of comics, and several people involved are still alive, so it feels like van Lente gets deeper into the dirt behind the creators, which makes it more interesting. It's funnier, too, presumably for the same reason. Dunlavey is also able to cut loose a bit, which again might have to do with my familiarity with the material, so I get more of the jokes. Maybe. But the subject matter, from crime comics of the 1950s to the Marvel explosion of the 1960s to underground comix of the late '60s and 1970s, lends itself to satirizing and weirdness a bit more than the earlier stuff. This certainly feels the most joyous of the series so far. Plus, it features Metaa, The Thing That Walked Like a Man That Walked Like a Thing That Walked Like a Man! Of course it did!

If you haven't been buying Comic Book Comics, there's no reason to find the first three issues, because each issue is pretty much self-contained. Seek this one out, because it's a wildly fun comic. And I do hope van Lente and Dunlavey can finish this (buy the new Action Philosophers! trade when it shows up soon, so you can give them some funds!), but they can take as long as they need to. I'll be here when issue #5 comes out!

Fables #90 ("Witches Chapter Four: Ozma") by Bill Willingham (writer), Mark Buckingham (penciller), Steve Leialoha (inker), Andrew Pepoy (inker), Lee Loughridge (colorist), and Todd Klein (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

It's always so difficult to review an issue of Fables, especially when it's in the middle of a story arc. Willingham sets them up extremely well, often doesn't end them too strongly, but in between, he just lets the plot carry the characters along, and it's a pleasure to read. We get Bufkin figuring out how to defeat Baba Yaga, and it's quite nifty. We get the witches deciding that Ozma should take the leadership of the group because Totenkinder has disappeared, and for some reason, I don't trust Ozma. We get Geppetto plotting with an oak tree (come on, it's Fables - of course he can do that!). We get Totenkinder still helping the Fables even though she's ... elsewhere. We get the return of Dunster Happ! Yay! And it's all wonderfully drawn by Buckingham.

See? Willingham just turns the characters loose, and they do their thing. I love reading each issue. They make me happy.

Plus, there's a preview of Gabriel Bá's and Fábio Moon's Daytripper. Goddamn, it looks awesome.

Rapture #5 (of 6) by Taki Soma (writer/layouter), Michael Avon Oeming (writer/artist), Val Staples (colorist), and Thomas Mauer (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

I'm fearing the final issue of Rapture, because the way Soma and Oeming set it up, it feels like it's going to be a superhero fight, and I'm really hoping it's not. The early part of this issue is actually quite good, because Evelyn finds Gil under the absolute worst circumstances, and their reunion is definitely not what she was hoping it would be. Of course, she did tell Gil that she needed "space," so she has only herself to blame, but the pages on which they argue, with a young boy who has turned evil insensate at their feet, are gripping to read. The art shows Evelyn's isolation nicely, too, from one panel that has her in a long shot to another where her eyes are black holes of despair. Even Gil's decision about what to do with the boy is handled well. Then the weird dude who gave Evelyn the spear shows up, and it goes sideways a bit. The art still looks great, but the set-up to the final issue indicates that Evelyn and Gil are going to fight it out, and that would be disappointing.

I will, of course, read it, and hope that Soma and Oeming have something up their sleeve. That would be nice.

Starstruck #3 (of 13) ("Mirage à Troi" and "Buy, Buy, Birdy!") by Elaine Lee (writer), Michael Wm. Kaluta (artist), Charles Vess (inker, "Buy, Buy Birdy!"), Lee Moyer (painter), Todd Klein (letterer, "Mirage à Troi"), and John Workman (letterer, "Buy, Buy, Birdy!"). $3.99, 27 pgs, FC, IDW.

There's a nice post about the history of Starstruck here, in case you're interested. The author wonders why this latest incarnation isn't getting the love he feels it deserves. Well, I'm trying, man! I'm trying!

I think the problem with Starstruck is that it's so extremely dense that it's very hard to judge it based on the individual issues. I can rave about Kaluta's art all I want (and I will continue to do so, because it's amazing), but as interesting as Lee's story is, it's obvious that each issue is a tiny part of a much, MUCH bigger whole, and she's not really interesting in telling a shorter story in each issue that leads into a bigger story, she's just interested in telling the large story and the issue ends when IDW doesn't want to put any more pages in it. (I should point out that because of the ways this was originally released, I doubt if Lee had any intention of making it fit into a 22-page format, so I don't blame her in the least.) I'm not even sure if this is how the book was originally released - a few things I've read about it (including the link above) seem to indicate that some of the Epic Illustrated stuff is not here. So there's that.

I'm not going to go as far as the writer of that post, who compares this to Watchmen - at least not yet. It is refreshing reading something like this, however, because Lee is throwing all sorts of interesting stuff in here, from sexual politics to space opera to a fairly standard rebels-vs-establishment kind of fight, yet with plenty of twists, to a critique of objectification. Plus, both the main story and the Galactic Girl Guides are really funny. Lee has created this entire insane universe from scratch, and it shows on the page, because she confidently writes about this made-up world as if she's lived there her entire life.

I still like reading it, but I have a feeling I'll appreciate it a lot more when it's all done. Until then, I'll just revel in the artwork. It's so damned gorgeous!

And in the back of the book, there's an advertisement for J. Scott Campbell's "Fairytale Fantasies" calendar. You know, I don't know if I can watch my daughters' Disney DVDs ever again without thinking of stuff like this:

I know that Zenescope has been doing this for years, but Campbell is a bit higher-profile than they are, so this will get more pub, I expect. Sigh. The IDW link has Ariel, by the way. Sigh.

S.W.O.R.D. #1 ("No Time to Breathe" and "Not Yet") by Kieron Gillen (writer), Steven Sanders (penciler, "No Time to Breathe"), Jamie McKelvie (artist, "Not Yet"), Craig Yeung (inker, "No Time to Breathe"), Matt Wilson (colorist, "Not Yet"), and Dave Lanphear (letterer). $3.99, 30 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Let's consider S.W.O.R.D. #1. I have been on the Kieron Gillen bandwagon since Phonogram #1 came out, over three years ago. I told you to buy it. I ordered you to buy it. I begged you to buy it. I bribed you to buy it. I blackmailed you to buy it. I offered sex, booze, and video games if you bought it. And none of it worked. You didn't believe me when I told you that Gillen (and McKelvie, of course, but he's a different subject) was awesome. Then he started writing for Marvel, and far hipper people than I like Chris Sims told you to read his Beta Ray Bill stuff (to be fair to Sims, he also recognizes the awesomeness that is Phonogram). I've accepted that you're not going to listen to me, because I'm, you know, square. But if you don't believe Sims, then I just don't know what to tell you. There's just no hope.

Which is a roundabout way of saying that S.W.O.R.D. is pretty frickin' keen. I've been skipping Gillen's Marvel stuff, not because I don't think it would be good, but because I really don't have a lot of interest in Thor and Thor-related stories unless Walt Simonson is writing and drawing them. But I was jazzed about S.W.O.R.D., not because I have a fondness for Joss Whedon's run on Astonishing X-Men, but because it sounds like the kind of series that Gillen can just go nuts on, probably because (as I mentioned when it showed up in Previews), no one will read it and the PTB will ignore what he does until the sales figures come back. You know, kind of like The Order. I certainly hope that it smashes sales records and Gillen gets to write it for the next decade (even though, as I pointed out at his blog, that would mean he'd be too big a star to talk to me next year at San Diego), but it's always a tough go with new series that don't star one of Marvel's big guns, and when your biggest gun in this issue is Henry McCoy ... well, I think that speaks for itself. But hey! it's a Marvel book, and maybe someone who avoids indies like the plague will pick it up and think, "I wonder what else that Gillen bloke has written ... Phonogram, you say? The next issue of which comes out next week? I'll give that a whirl!" That happens all the time, right?

Of course, I should probably write a bit about the actual issue, shouldn't I? Well, it's mostly set-up, but a very entertaining set-up, as we get the internal tension between Henry Gyrich and Abigail Brand, co-commanders of S.W.O.R.D. (Sentient World Observation and Response Department). Gyrich wants Abigail out, obviously, and Gillen sets up a nifty sub-plot in which Gyrich wants to kick all aliens - all of them - off the Earth so that something like "Secret Invasion" doesn't happen again. Of course, that was secret, so how would it stop that? But we'll run with it. We get a quick look at the inner workings of S.W.O.R.D. - some aliens want tribute or they'll steal North Carolina - before Abigail learns that her half-brother is running from a bounty hunter and has requested sanctuary. When she gives it to him, the bounty hunter simply takes him and skedaddles, leaving Abigail, Henry McCoy, and Lockheed - who's drinking himself into a stupor because Kitty Pryde is "lost" (not dead, as we learn in the second story) - to go fetch him. Oh, yes, the bounty hunter is Death's Head. Oh, those wacky British writers and their love of Marvel UK characters! Death's Head is, of course, goddamned awesome. And he has a big motherfucking gun.

In the second story, Abigail explains to Lockheed how they're trying to save Kitty. Lockheed doesn't think she's doing a good enough job, so he visits the robot in the basement. This is the same robot who helped Abigail in the first story, and Gillen is trying (and, to be fair, succeeding) in making him kind of creepy. I can't wait to see what he does when he (inevitably) gets out.

It's been some years since I read Five Fists of Science, which is the only place I've seen Sanders' art, but it's quite good - his Abigail looks slightly less repressed than McKelvie's, with hair out of place and stylin' sunglasses on. His Death's Head is quite menacing, and he draws some other keen aliens, too. The only problem I have with the art is Henry McCoy. Frankly, he looks like a goat. It's not a good look. The second story is not necessarily built to show off McKelvie's strengths - he does a fine job with the Kitty Bullet and what it's doing out there in the universe, but that doesn't give him much opportunity to show off - but the final page, where Lockheed speaks to the robot, is a nice page, on which the robot looks even creepier thanks to the way McKelvie draws him (that is, cheery as hell). I'm always happy to see McKelvie's art, but I'll be much happier to see it when the next issue of Phonogram comes out, which ought to be (if that lying Brit Gillen can be believed) next week.

So S.W.O.R.D. is pretty cool. Gillen doesn't go for the one-and-done big crazy issue, deciding instead on a longer arc, but with established characters, that's not necessarily a bad way to go. And it features Death's Head, for crying out loud! Can Motormouth be far behind?????

Vengeance of the Moon Knight #3 ("The Bushman Cometh") by Gregg Hurwitz (writer), Jerome Opeña (penciler), Paul Mounts (colorist), and Joe Caramagna (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Man, Opeña is really good. I mean, I've known that for a while, but it's worth noting again. I just love his casual tiny Khonshu thing (whatever that thing is haunting MK these days) checking out the museum after our hero takes out the punks. On the same page, I love the panel showing enough of Marlene's face to let us know that Moonie's getting lucky tonight! This is just a beautiful issue, and the fact that Opeña switches easily from the big gaudy superheroics in issue #1 to the extremely dark invasion of Ravencroft Asylum in this issue is very cool.

As you might have heard, this is the beginning of "Knightfall," in which Bane breaks all of the inmates out of Arkham to soften up Batman before the coup de grace. Oh, wait a minute, no, this is where Bushman breaks all of the inmates out of Ravencroft to soften up Moon Knight before the coup de grace. You can see where I'd get things confused a bit! Seriously, Marvel and Gregg Hurwitz - you guys thought this would be a good idea? I realize "Knightfall" was almost two decades ago, but comics fans these days have really, really long memories, and when commentators for years have called your character a Batman rip-off (I've never been one of those people), it's probably not a good idea to mimic one of Batman's most famous stories from the past 30-40 years or so. I mean, it's just ... well, it's silly, even by the standards of comics, where stories get recycled all the time. It gets back to the tone of this series so far, where I'm not terribly sure if Hurwitz is satirizing superheroes in general. I mean, this reads perfectly straight, but I can't decide if Hurwitz is pointing out the idiocy of "Knightfall" and the revolving door policy of prisons and asylums in the Marvel and DCU or if he's not that subtle. I mean, this hews so closely to "Knightfall" that I can't believe Hurwitz isn't making some kind of comment on it. Bushman could easily get an army from any number of sources, but he deliberately breaks inmates out of an insane asylum. His freakin' face is tattooed like a luchador (despite the fact that he's an African mercenary), much like Bane's was, for crying out loud (yes, I know Bushman predates Bane, but work with me, people!). The Scarecrow is even in this issue! It's just ... odd. Hurwitz writes is fairly effectively, but it's still weird.

But damn, it's nice to look at. And it's an exciting issue, for all the ripping off of old Batman stories. So I'll stick with it and see what Hurwitz is doing with it, but that's just very strange, the way they've set up this story.

So there it is: the week in comics. Any thoughts?

And look! totally random lyrics!

"I'm gnawing on the knowledge
That I have been burned
And I'm learning things that I
Should've already learned
Everyone I ever knew
Was so kind and coy
I was with a girl
But it felt like I was with a boy"

Sing it loud! Sing it proud!

40 Comments

• At November 12, 2009, Wraith wrote:

  Re: "J. Scott Campbell's "Fairytale Fantasies" calendar"

  Yeah, someone's going to Hell. And, since I clicked on the link, I suppose ...

• At November 12, 2009, sgt pepper wrote:

  Yay! Comic Book Comics is my favorite comic.

  And yes, everything Kieron Gellen has done is pretty much gold. ...

• At November 12, 2009, Nitz the Bloody wrote:

  I don't know what the last page was supposed to signify either, but the password to open that case-- " ...

• At November 12, 2009, Matt K wrote:

  Good to hear about S.W.O.R.D. (and the last time I'll be using the acronym). I just got the Beta ...

• At November 12, 2009, bongoes wrote:

  I think the last page was Bruce's body. Zur Enh Arrh was just the password.

• At November 12, 2009, JP wrote:

  What, no The Unwritten #7? It was such an awesome issue!

• At November 12, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Yeah, I read somewhere that it's Bruce's body. I thought it might be, but then what the heck is ...

• At November 12, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  JP: I saw that The Unwritten was coming out, but I didn't see it at my comics shoppe. I ...

• At November 12, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  Anyway, everyone who couldn't stand Tan's art can relax now. It's certainly not great, but for the most part, it ...

• At November 12, 2009, Capper wrote:

  Nice "Heathers" reference. "How would he have felt about a limp wrist with a pulse?"

• At November 12, 2009, Reno wrote:

  Wasn't the Flamingo a Joker pastiche in the Big Bang universe? In fact, he's the arch-enemy of the Knight Watchman, ...

• At November 12, 2009, StrongWall wrote:

  Batman & Robin = dead in the water. All momentum for this book was killed the minute Phillip Tan's name ...

• At November 12, 2009, s1rude wrote:

  The Violent Femmes are A W E S O M E. My s.o. was recently commenting on how freakin' ...

• At November 12, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  not sure how that jives with what we saw in Final Crisis

  Well, as Dick is acting on words from Jason ...

• At November 12, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  Death's Head!? Why didn't anyone tell meeeeeee

• At November 12, 2009, Mary Warner wrote:

  I've only been reading Marvel lately. That's not on any weird principle or anything, it's just that my funds ...

• At November 12, 2009, Nitz the Bloody wrote:

  " Yeah, I read somewhere that it's Bruce's body. I thought it might be, but then what the heck is ...

• At November 12, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  Best case scenario; Zombie Batman. :)

  Which would make sense as #7 has to be held off until the next ...

• At November 13, 2009, Chris Jones wrote:

  Wait, is that story ACTUALLY called "The Bushman Cometh?"

  ACTUALLY?

• At November 13, 2009, Michael wrote:

  God dammit, J. Scott Campbell.

• At November 13, 2009, Dan Bailey wrote:

  >>even though I wish the United States government wasn't quite so sinister.

  Same here, though at least it's not nearly as ...

• At November 13, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  s1rude: According to Gillen, some issue of Phonogram got out even though Diamond requested that they be pulped because ...

• At November 13, 2009, Rebis wrote:

  I agree, you're going easy on Tan. He's not a great artist to begin with, but his output has been ...

• At November 13, 2009, Neal K wrote:

  Violent Femmes!!! Yes!! Excellent to see one of my faves in that lyrics box every once in a while. ...

• At November 13, 2009, Tekende wrote:

  I really, really wish Tan hadn't been drawing B&R #6, because story-wise it's probably my favorite issue so far.

  I've ...

• At November 14, 2009, Anonymous wrote:

  Damn you J. Scott Campbell. Only Alan Moore is allowed to sexualize children books characters!

  Though I have to admit he's ...

• At November 14, 2009, Bright-Raven wrote:

  Burgas:

  I don't know which is sillier. The notion that you think Chris Sims is "hip", or that you're using him ...

• At November 14, 2009, Bright-Raven wrote:

  I should say it undermines the credibility of his blog to my mind's eye, not in general context.

• At November 14, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Bright-Raven: I was joking, for the most part. :) I just figure if I can't get people to ...

• At November 14, 2009, Pedro Bouça wrote:

  "If you haven't been buying Comic Book Comics, there's no reason to find the first three issues, because each issue ...

• At November 14, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Well, yeah, that goes without saying. But the first three might be hard to find!

• At November 14, 2009, Ed Buskirk wrote:

  I don't think you're succeeding in spreading the Starstruck gospel, Greg, as not one comment so much as mentions it. ...

• At November 14, 2009, Mary Warner wrote:

  I bought SWORD today, because you told me to. I hope you can deal with that sort of responsibility.

  Is ...

• At November 15, 2009, Kieron Gillen wrote:

  Mary: It's an ongoing, but we're using a pretty firm arc based format. In other words, you can totally treat ...

• At November 15, 2009, Mary Warner wrote:

  Wow. I've never had an actual author respond to my comments directly. (Except for two occasions with Peter David ...

• At November 15, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Mary: If you like Gillen, you should DEFINITELY check out Phonogram. It's his Image series, and it's great (don't ...

• At November 16, 2009, Dan Bailey wrote:

  >>It features Jamie McKelvie on art (he drew the back-up story in SWORD)

  Damn. I wish you hadn't mentioned that, because ...

• At November 17, 2009, Kieron Gillen’s Workblog » S.W.O.R.D. 1 Out For Nearly A Week wrote:

  [...] O’Brien, House To Astonish: “The dialogue is great.” Greg Comics Should Be Good: “I certainly hope that it smashes ...

• At November 21, 2009, Drew wrote:

  Greg: Hey, thanks for your great review of S.W.O.R.D. #1—I'm glad I'm not the only one who loved the issue ...

• At November 21, 2009, Oeming wrote:

  Thanks for the review Greg- hope you also check out Powers next week!

  M!

Dark Horse:

There's a new Solomon Kane mini-series on page 28 (13 January), if you're interested. According to the quote on the page, Kane is the "only Puritan" Ed Brubaker has been a fan of. What about Roger Williams, Ed? He was a pretty cool guy!

On page 34, we get a hardcover collection of Blacksad for $30 (24 March). I've heard plenty of good things about this - anyone want to reaffirm the kudos?

DC:

I have no interest in DC's "final issue" thing that they're doing (although it's a clever enough idea), but I suppose I'll have to buy Suicide Squad #67 (page 69; 6 January), as it ties into Secret Six. It's another issue to test Bill Reed's patience, as Ostrander and Simone write it, but Jim Calafiore draws it. Poor Bill!

As much as I'm jazzed by Batman and Robin #7 (page 71; 27 January) because it's drawn by Cameron Stewart and features the Knight and Squire, it appears to be a "Blackest Night" tie-in. Goddamnit, even the God of All Comics can't resist!

Why is Spawn guest-starring in Batman #695 (page 71; 13 January)?

So the solicitation text for Supergirl #49 tells us that Lana Lang dies (page 77; 20 January). That's not what concerns me, though. It's this: "She is survived by ex-husband, former president of the United States Pete Ross ..." I know why Pete was president, but stuff like this just reminds me how very, very stupid comics can be occasionally.

The Mighty gets cancelled on page 83 (6 January). I guess that's my fault.

Hey, look - Mike Grell draws Warlord #10 (page 86; 6 January). Will it be enough to save the book????

The second Hitman trade gets a new printing on page 88 (24 February). Buy it. It does not suck.

The fourth Planetary hardcover is offered on page 97 (3 March). Will there be a complete Omnibus (with the specials included) in the future?

Some dude named Grant Morrison has a book called Joe the Barbarian on page 108 (20 January). If you like shitty, non-linear, pretentious comics which probably don't feature enough ass-kicking, that is.

David Lapham draws an issue of Fables (page 113; 13 January). Look at him, getting work like that!

DC is re-releasing the first two volumes of The Losers as one book (page 114; 27 January). I was ambivalent about this book through the first trade, but it gets a lot better as it goes along.

Joëlle Jones draws an issue of Madame Xanadu (page 115; 27 January). Nothing against Amy Reeder Hadley, but they get some dynamite fill-in artists on that book. Speaking of which, Michael Kaluta's arc is collected in trade on the same page.

Image:

There's a new Jack Staff comic on page 140 (27 January). That monthly Jack Staff book worked out pretty well, didn't it?

If you buy Dynamo 5 in trade, the latest one is on page 145 (27 January). It brings us up to date while we wait for the relaunch.

Proof comes to an end with issue #28 on page 156 (6 January). I hope it was just a natural place and not because sales are terrible. That always sucks.

Marvel:

Max Fiumara draws an issue of Amazing Spider-Man (page 21; 6 January). I still won't buy it, but Fiumara is really good.

Geoff Johns' run on The Avengers is collected in trade on page 100 (20 January). Is this the arc where the Wasp and Hank Pym were having icky sex?

Continuing Marvel's policy to put out a trade for everything (which is a nice policy, even if some of their choices are head-scratching), we get the first seven issues of Iron Man from 1998, written by Kurt Busiek and drawn by Sean Chen and Patrick Zircher. If you were jonesing for these issues, here they are!

That's some really unfortunate placement of that console there, Marvel.

More Visionaries volumes on page 116: Another Peter David Hulk one, collecting issues #383-389, and another Alan Davis Excalibur one, collecting issues #51-58 (27 and 20 January, respectively).

You know what time it is ... time for the back of the book!

SLG offers Animal Crackers, a collection of early work from Gene Luen Yang, on page 178. I imagine it's pretty good.

Over on page 183, Antarctic Press gives us ... Obamouse!

Dear Sweet Lord.

Hey, "Rob Liefeld's fallen angel, Avengelyne," returns to comics from Arcana on page 184. Did you miss her?

Also on page 184, Archaia offers Tumor by Joshua Hale Fialkov and Noel Tuazon. You missed their last collaboration, Elk's Run - don't miss this one!

No Hero comes out in trade on page 191 from Avatar. I'm sure you're dying to see the dude tie someone's spine onto his crotch and brandish it like an erect penis, aren't you? (Isn't this the comic where that happened?)

I haven't been reading Swordsmith Assassin from Boom! Studios, but I've read some good things about it, and there's a trade on page 202. If you're in the mood to check it out!

I shouldn't point out anything to do with Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose (page 204), but Jim Balent makes it so tough with awesome covers like this:

Well, Dynamite Entertainment does it again, with Robocop #1 on page 214. I don't know if it'll be any good, but there it is!

Dynamite also has the second Zorro trade on page 219. It's a hardcover, so you might want to wait until the softcover comes out, but it's a pretty good story.

In case Chad Nevett wants a new edition of Hicksville, Drawn & Quarterly has it on page 223!

D & Q also has Adrian Tomine's first book, 32 Stories, in a new redesign (page 223). It's sure to be caustic!

IDW has some things you might be interested in. On page 242 they reprint The Wizard's Tale by Kurt Busiek, which isn't bad. On page 243 they have the trades of The Veil, which is quite good, and Fallen Angel: Reborn, which is pretty decent.

Rick Veitch and King Hell have Abraxas and the Earthmen and a new edition of Brat Pack on page 248. I've never read these, but someone has!

Chuck Dixon writes Airfighters on page 248 from Moonstone, which means it will feature kick-ass war stories featuring brightly-garbed heroes! Can you resist????

Oni has a new printing of the Local hardcover on page 252. It's very good. Then, on page 253, the first 13 issues of Wasteland (including the prose shorts) are collected in a giant hardcover. This too is very good.

Page 256 gives us another title from Radical Comics: Aladdin. I don't know if it's going to be any good, but Ian Edginton is writing it, and he's a fine writer.

And so we reach the end of another Previews. As usual, there's some good stuff in there, if you're willing to dig! So get to it!

19 Comments

• At November 1, 2009, Shaq-fu wrote:

  Those are awesome Rick Veitch comics!

• At November 1, 2009, Apodaca wrote:

  I don't know that I'd call 32 Stories caustic. It's more maudlin,or contrived. It's Tomine's extremely early work. It's interesting ...

• At November 1, 2009, The Dude wrote:

  I know almost nothing abot Joe The Barbarian, other than it's written by Morrison.

  Can you tell me what it's about?

  I ...

• At November 1, 2009, Nawid A wrote:

  Proof isn't cancelled. Issue 28 is just the end of the first season (currently the plan is to have at ...

• At November 1, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  No one knows much about Joe the Barbarian. It's said to be a kind of Narnia-esque journey into a world ...

• At November 1, 2009, Joshua Long wrote:

  Joe the Barbarian is about a diabetic kid who, when he forgets to take his penicillin, hallucinates all of these ...

• At November 1, 2009, Tom Fitzpatrick wrote:

  I've read Rick Veitch's Abraxas and the Earthman waaaaaaaaay back in those days of EPIC ILLUSTRATED magazine. A futuristic ...

• At November 1, 2009, Zdenko wrote:

  Blacksad is very, very, very good. If it doesn't bother you that you have things like sex, racism, drugs, mafia, ...

• At November 1, 2009, Dan Felty wrote:

  Tom F.--The One is still available from King Hell Press at http://www.rickveitch.com/store/ I just picked up a copy last ...

• At November 1, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  Over on page 183, Antarctic Press gives us ... Obamouse!

  And also President Evil #4 (#4!) with a cover depicting Obama ...

• At November 1, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  Oh, god.

  I found the solicit for Obamouse.

  And, this is real:

  The economy is crumbling like stale roquefort. We are at ...

• At November 1, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  Heh, my dumbfounded-ness made me misspell "Penguin".

  Still. Wow.

• At November 1, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Dan: I've only read one Adrian Tomine book, and it was caustic, so I just assumed they all were. ...

• At November 1, 2009, Joshua Fialkov wrote:

  Thanks for the kind words about Tumor and Elk's Run, Greg! Anybody who wants to check out the book ...

• At November 1, 2009, buttler wrote:

  Good lord. With names like that, Roy Thomas and Scott Shaw! should get some sort of royalties from Obamouse. ...

• At November 1, 2009, Pedro Bouça wrote:

  Blacksad is great, get it!

  And Mike Grell has been drawing Warlord for some time now. I fear that many others ...

• At November 1, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Whoops! I did not realize that Grell had been drawing it. The one issue I got didn't feature ...

• At November 1, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  I don't know that I'd call 32 Stories caustic. It's more maudlin,or contrived. It's Tomine's extremely early work. It's interesting ...

• At November 1, 2009, Apodaca wrote:

  Neat. I didn't know there was such a thing.

  Yeah, it is interesting to track his evolution as an artist throughout ...

The upshot of this, of course, is that it's very late in the day, and although I thought about skipping a week, I did get a metric ton of comics, two of which I received for free and therefore ought to review, and many of which were very good. I can't say these will be the best reviews (keep your snide comments about how none of these posts are the "best" to yourself!), but I did want to point out some books that came out a week ago that you might have missed. Let's fire it up!

Beasts of Burden #2 (of 4) ("Lost") by Evan Dorkin (writer), Jill Thompson (artist), and Jason Arthur (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

This issue is even creepier than last issue, which is saying something. It's pretty terrifying, and Dorkin does a really nice job with two things: Making these animals truly animalistic (they do a pretty nasty thing) but also tapping into some universal emotions that make their nasty actions more understandable. It's a tense, action-filled issue, stunningly illustrated by Thompson. It's nice that Dorkin is doing these as one-and-done stories, because you don't need to have read the first issue to enjoy this. So if you see this lying around, pick it up. It's totally freaky!

Chew #5 ("Taster's Choice Part 5 of 5") by John Layman (writer/letterer), Rob Guillory (artist/colorist), and Lisa Gonzalez (color flats). $2.99, 24 pgs, FC, Image.

Speaking of freaky, the first arc of Chew comes to a close with Tony solving the central mystery and getting in a lot of trouble because of it. Layman experiments a little bit with the format, giving us a first page with snapshots of Tony getting into deeper and deeper trouble, then going back in time and filling in the spaces that led him to those dramatic moments. It's as gross as ever, of course, but Layman still manages to bring his black sense of humor to the proceedings, which alleviates the sickening central premise. And the solution and the fallout from it nicely sets up the rest of the series. Guillory, naturally, is phenomenal, with a two-page spread of such shocking violence (even more than the rest of the book) that we feel the pain of the character intensely. It's a stunning comic artistically.

This arc will be out soon in trade. Check it out, because this is a very interesting series that's getting better as it goes along. I'm looking forward to the direction Layman and Guillory are going with it.

Ex Machina #46 ("Pro-Life Part Two") by Brian K. Vaughan (writer), Tony Harris (artist), JD Mettler (colorist), and Jared K. Fletcher (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Wildstorm.

You know the drill. Flashback; some politics; some violence; a cliffhanger that ties back into the flashback. I know that some people don't like the formula, but I do. It's keen. Plus, it's getting to the end, so we are getting some answers about the series. Good to see. Only a few more issues to go!

FVZA: Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency #1 (of 3) by David Hine (writer), Roy Allan Martinez (artist), Kinsun Loh (painter), Jerry Choo (painter), Richard Starkings (letterer), and Jimmy Betancourt (letterer). $4.99, 44 pgs, FC, Radical Comics.

As usual, the fine folk at Radical sent this to me, and I'd like to thank them. It's always cool to get free comics, even if I don't love them completely. And I don't love this completely, but that might be because of the subject matter. I'm just not the biggest fan of vampires and zombies, so a book about a federal agency that destroys vampires and zombies isn't really in my wheelhouse. Hine does only one nifty thing with vampires, when he points out that vampires might not actually enjoy being vampires, which is a pretty good observation. Other than that, the vampires and zombies aren't that distinguishable from any other vampires and zombies.

That's not to say the comic is bad, because if there's one thing Hine knows, it's horror. He does a very nice job setting up this mileau, in which the United States government set up the FVZA in the 1860s and almost eradicated them from the country, to the point where the agency was disbanded. Of course, now they're back, and two young siblings, Landra and Vidal, whose grandfather was a big wheel in the earlier incarnation of the FVZA, are tasked to instruct new agents. Hine does a nice job with the set-up, as Landra stands over her grandfather with a gun, presumably because he's been turned somehow, and then tells the story in flashback. Hine does a good job building the horror of both the vampires and zombies, and even though we know what's coming, he's still effective. Martinez's art is better when it's not painted because it's rougher, but he does have a few truly horrifying scenes that complement Hine's story pretty well.

As with a lot of the Radical comics, FVZA has a lot of positives in it. The production values are stunning, and to go back to last week, their books often have good "hand," because this feels like a good chunk of comics. I wish Hine would do more with making the vampires and zombies more unique, because the idea of the federal agency (which isn't his, of course) is a pretty decent one.

Hellblazer #260 ("The Long Crap Friday") by Peter Milligan (writer), Simon Bisley (artist), Jamie Grant (colorist), and Sal Cipriano (letterer). $2.99, 20 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

What's cool about Milligan writing this series is that he didn't even make any pretense about John being noble. Most of the other times I've read the book, the writer tries to set up John as some kind of damaged yet somewhat decent fellow who eventually gets tempted too much to meddle and it all ends horribly. Milligan has simply shown us, from the beginning, that John is a scumbag, which makes all the crap that is happening to him in this run kind of fun, because we indulge in a little schadenfreude and never worry if maybe, this time, John has changed. Milligan is making this a different kind of Hellblazer run, because nothing John is doing is noble, even tangentially. His proclamations regarding Phoebe in this book don't even ring true, because we saw how he treated her, so we know it's bullshit. Perhaps Milligan is going this way so that John can actually earn some redemption. Perhaps not. Either way, Milligan is writing a nasty little comic, and it's pretty cool.

Incarnate #2 (of 3) by Nick Simmons (writer/artist), Matt Dalton (inker), Dami Digital (colorist), and Rob Steen (letterer). $4.99, 53 pgs, FC, Radical Comics.

I still feel the same way about issue #2 of this series that I felt about #1 - Simmons is an interesting artist, with a ton of energy in his pencils and glee in his horror that's somewhat refreshing. The fight scene at the end of the issue is fun to look at, with lots of blood and crazy monsters and wacky choreography. Simmons does give us a bit more about the characters and what the heck they are, and presumably we'll learn all in issue #3. But the problems are still there, and they come from Simmons's storytelling abilities, which are pretty raw. In issue #1, there was no reason to care about the characters, and as we knew very little about them, no other reason for us to be involved. In this issue, Mot is imprisoned by Sibyl, who forces him to be her bodyguard. It's obvious that Simmons is building a romance between these two, but it's mainly because that's what they'd do - Mot is a Goth dude who has a secret, while Sibyl is a blonde Catholic schoolgirl. Of course they're going to be attracted to each other! But just because their "types" would be attracted to each other doesn't mean Simmons can skip the actual relationship between them, and he does. The writing in the book is strangely enervating, with Simmons simply doling out information without spicing it up too much. It jars with the art, which crackles along.

It seems like this would work better if Simmons weren't trying to be "deep." As a strange mystery about demons who slaughter humans, it's not bad. Simmons seems to want to deepen the emotional resonance of the book, but he's not quite as good at that. But, like FVZA, this is a huge chunk of comics for not a ton of money, and it's nice that Radical is giving us our money's worth!

The Last Resort #3 (of 5) ("Part Three: Surf and Safari") by Jimmy Palmiotti (writer), Justin Gray (writer), Giancarlo Caracuzzo (artist), and Chris Mowry (letterer). $3.99, 20 pgs, FC, IDW.

Now that is a keen cover. Darwyn Cooke cracks me up (yes, Tom, I know a lot of things crack me up, but come on - check out that cover!).

Here's another reason why I would not be a good character in a horror movie: If I were on a plane that exploded on the runway and then, when I reached the terminal, there was no one around, I'd stay with the group. I know that most of the people in this comic don't know about the flesh-eating zombies running wild on the island yet, but two pairs of people break off from the group to wander around alone, and not surprisingly, one person pays a pretty horrible price. People in horror movies (and horror comics, I guess, as that's what this is) are unbelievably stupid. The victim I'm talking about here (there are others in the comic, but they're not stupid) deserves what she gets, because she's so obnoxious that we're cheering for her to get eaten. Now, I might still get killed in a horror movie, but it wouldn't be because I'm stupid.

There's a bit of a lull in this issue, as the characters regroup and try to figure out what the hell is going on, but it's still sheer bloody fun. And yes, that cover does depict something that happens in the book. Very stylistically, of course, but still.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto #3 ("Born and Made") by Brett Matthews (writer), Jonathan M. Abrams (writer), Vatche Mavlian (artist), Marcelo Pinto (colorist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $4.99, 32 pgs, FC, Dynamite Entertainment.

We find our heroes at the circus, where the human cannonball has died under mysterious circumstances and the Lone Ranger and Tonto take it upon themselves to solve the crime. It's not a terribly good mystery, but that's okay, because Matthews and Abrams are more interested in examining the idea of outcasts and what binds them together, from the circus freaks who form the community to the Lone Ranger and Tonto themselves, who set themselves outside of society. It's not a terribly deep examination of this theme, but it's an interesting one, especially as our heroes peel back the layers of secrecy surrounding the carnival. Mavlian is fantastic, despite a few problems with clarity (which might be the fault of the colorist; I don't know). He has a nice rough style and the scenes where Tonto fights the bear are magnificently powerful.

I wish the regular series came out more often, but the specials are always pretty good. And they give you a nice single story, so there's no commitment to more!

Poe #4 (of 4) by J. Barton Mitchell (writer), Dean Kotz (artist), Digikore Studios (colorist), and James Dashiell (letterer). $3.99, 22 pgs, FC, Boom! Studios.

This turned out to be a pretty good mini-series, even if the idea of Poe-as-detective was abandoned quickly, mainly because he figured out the whole thing too easily. It turned into a spooky supernatural tale, much like one Poe himself would have written, which is somewhat interesting but a bit unfulfilling, because if we wanted a supernatural tale much like one Poe himself would have written, we'd probably read a supernatural tale that Poe did write. I would have liked Poe being more of detective, but oh well. What's best about this is the way Mitchell brings in aspects of Poe's life and fiction and uses them in the story, and he shows why Poe is not only a good writer, but a good man as well. Mitchell takes the tragedy in Poe's life and shows why it can be triumphant, and that's the interesting part of the tale. The action bits are fine, but not the best part of the book. Kotz, meanwhile, continues to do a good job on the art - this issue is far brighter than issue #3 (although it's still fairly dark), and we get some cool flaming skeletons and ghosts and whatnot.

Check out the trade when it shows up! It's worth a look.

Power Girl #6 ("Space Girls Gone Wild: Conclusion") by Justin Gray (writer), Jimmy Palmiotti (writer), Amanda Conner (artist), Paul Mounts (colorist), and John J. Hill (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC.

I usually give new series six issues to make a decision about whether to keep buying it or not, so we've reached the moment of truth with regard to Power Girl. I'm still torn, which means I'll probably drop it, because it's just not thrilling me. That pains me, because I simply adore the art, and it's almost - almost - worth the money. I do appreciate that Palmiotti and Gray aren't simply giving us dull hero-vs.-villain stories and that things get wrapped up in non-traditional ways, like the way PG takes care of the three alien hotties, and that the stories tend to blend into each other, but nothing is really wowing me. It's too bad.

Am I being too hard on the comic? I dunno. But damn, I love Amanda Conner's art. She needs to draw Grant Morrison's Adventures of Rogue and Psylocke. Now that would be a comic!

Robotika: For a Few Rubles More #3 and 4 by Alex Sheikman (writer/artist), David Moran (writer), Scott Keating (inker, issue #4), Joel Chua (colorist), and Norman Felchle (artist, "Dr. Agon"). $4.99, 60 pgs, FC, Archaia.

Boy, I really wish this series (and Archaia books in general) came out on a decent schedule. Sheikman's work deserves a much, much bigger audience, and it's not going to get it with the scheduling of the book. As always with Robotika, this is a visual feast, with beautiful individual panels and breathtaking choreography. In the second story, Sheikman divides the page into three long horizontal panels and tells two different stories that gradually converge, and it features stunning fight scenes. This is such a beautiful comic, and I would love to see Marvel throw a ton of money at Sheikman to draw a Dr. Strange mini-series. Or DC could let do some Jonah Hex. He'd kick ass at it.

The writing isn't great, although Sheikman and Moran do a good job wrapping up the story and setting up a new one. It gets the job done, and although it's still a bit messy, that's okay. Sheikman has such a strong visual sense that he's smart enough not to overwrite, allowing his art to tell the story. He needs to get better at writing, but he is getting there, so there's that.

Even without the best writing, this is totally worth the five dollars. Sheikman is that good. He's tremendous.

Spider-Woman #2 by Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Alex Maleev (artist), and Cory Petit (letterer). $2.99, 21 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Another cool-looking decompressed mess. Come on, BMB, get moving!

As far as Jessica's abilities with secreting chemicals, remember when Gambit could do that? Sort of? Claremont brought it up in, I think, his first appearance, and I don't know if anyone's ever mentioned it again. It was kind of cool. Oh well.

Sugarshock by Joss Whedon (writer), Fábio Moon (artist), Dave Stewart (colorist), and Nate Piekos (letterer). $3.50, 24 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

This is mostly impressive because of Moon's art, which is fantastic as usual. Whenever there's a chance to revel in Moon's art, I'm probably going to take it, unless he's drawing something by a writer I really hate, and I don't hate Whedon. Of course, I don't love Whedon either, and this is a good example why. It's a bunch of randon stuff strung together, some pretty good and some that doesn't work at all. I mean, the anti-Viking sentiment makes no sense and isn't funny. Dandelion ignoring Robot Phil's requests for his legs isn't all that funny. It's as if Whedon thinks he can make jokes by just saying the punchline, but yelling "Lemur!" in a crowded room isn't clever, and that's what a lot of this comic feels like. It's perfectly fine, and for the price you get a fairly packed story with a lot going on plus lots of sketches from Moon, but it's definitely not as clever as it thinks it is. That's an unfortunate by-product of a lot of Whedon's writing.

The saddest song in the world is kind of cool, though.

Underground #2 (of 5) by Jeff Parker (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), and Ron Chan (colorist). $3.50, 22 pgs, FC, Image.

What's interesting about this series so far is that Parker isn't taking the clicé-ridden route with regard to the story. Not that I thought he would, because he's too good, but it's kind of of cool that the bad guys aren't just gun-firing crazy people, and while they're not terribly concerned about Seth and Wes, they are concerned about doing their "job" correctly without killing anyone. And Parker shows that things aren't black-and-white even in little ways, which is always fun. And Lieber is great as usual, doing a tremendous job with the cave interiors and the claustrophobic atmosphere therein. When the characters confront each other, Lieber squeezes them into smaller and smaller panels, which is a neat effect. This continues to be a nifty series. Why wouldn't you buy it?

Zero Killer #6 (of 6) by Arvid Nelson (writer/letterer), Matt Camp (artist), and Dave Stewart (colorist). $2.99, 25 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

I'll just link to my review of the entire series, okay?

I apologize again for the tardiness and brevity of these reviews. I'm feeling much better now! To prove it, let's check out some totally random lyrics!

"That's right here's where the talkin' ends
Well listen this night there'll be some action spent
Drive hard I'm callin' all the shots
I got an ace card comin' down on the rocks
If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain
Listen I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again"

Damn straight!

23 Comments

• At October 26, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  Now, I might still get killed in a horror movie, but it wouldn't be because I'm stupid.

  It'd be because everyone ...

• At October 26, 2009, Nitz the Bloody wrote:

  Oh my God, that Beasts of Burden issue was the saddest thing I've read in years. Marvelously written and illustrated, ...

• At October 26, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  Your weeklong illness perfectly summarizes my Sunday hangover. Awesome.

  Already ordered the Chew trade.

  You have to keep buying Power Girl! They're ...

• At October 26, 2009, buttler wrote:

  You have to keep buying Power Girl! They're bringing back Vartox! VARTOX!

  Bringing back Vartox???

  Sometimes I can't believe how beautiful this ...

• At October 26, 2009, Philip wrote:

  Greg, are you planning on doing any panel contests anytime soon. It doesn't even have to be for a prize ...

• At October 27, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  You lost thirteen pounds in a week?! Good lord, dude.

  That sounds like the worst crash diet ever.

• At October 27, 2009, Wraith wrote:

  "Come on, BMB, get moving!"*

  Mwa ha ha ha ha. Yeaaaahhhhhhhhhh no. Good one, though.

  (* Seriously, what's the tag in ...

• At October 27, 2009, Brian Cronin wrote:

  < blockquote > < / blockquote >

  Without the spaces, of course.

• At October 27, 2009, Wraith wrote:

  Thank you.

• At October 27, 2009, Alan Coil wrote:

  Tomorrow I go to pick up more new comics, but I haven't started reading the ones from last week. Looking ...

• At October 27, 2009, stealthwise wrote:

  If you're on the fence about Power Girl I'd keep getting it. A lot of series that I've bought ...

• At October 27, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  FGJ: It probably will read better in trade. And you get a gigantic dose of Conner's art instead of ...

• At October 27, 2009, Wraith wrote:

  Hey Greg, that's why we're all here anyway, right? :-)

• At October 27, 2009, Neal K wrote:

  I have a bunch of those books waiting to be read as well. I have been ill, though nothing ...

• At October 27, 2009, Posts about Movie Reviews as of October 27, 2009 | Movie blog wrote:

  [...] was caught cheating on a test (he wasn’t really cheating but his dad doesn’t believe him). What ...

• At October 27, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  VARTOX!

• At October 27, 2009, JIMMY PALMIOTTI wrote:

  you should keep buying powergirl...I heard it's getting better.

• At October 27, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Who could have told you that, sir? :)

• At October 27, 2009, Brian Cronin wrote:

  I'm glad you're feeling better, Greg.

  I figured that was the reason for the delay, so it's nice to see you ...

• At October 27, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Thanks, sir!

• At October 28, 2009, s1rude wrote:

  VARTOX?

• At October 30, 2009, ryan s wrote:

  You got another thing coming!

• At October 30, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  I'm glad someone got the lyrics, ryan!

See?

Dark Horse:

Ugly Cover Alert! Page 22 gives us this:

Usually, I'd be all for two nude ladies on a comic book cover, but Willow looks ... really terrible. Oh well.

There's an Empowered one-shot on page 26 (2 December). I imagine I'm a bad person because I just wasn't impressed with the first volume and I haven't been back since.

The final volume of Rex Mundi is offered on page 33 (3 February). I'm really hoping for a giant Omnibus or two.

The latest B.P.R.D. series comes to an end on page 36. I mention this only because I just heard that Dark Horse isn't planning on doing for B.P.R.D. what they've done for Hellboy; that is, releasing them in those big ol' "library editions" (the third volume of which just came out this past week). That's unfortunate; I suppose I just have to go get the trades, as I've been holding off buying them until I could get the fancy library editions.

DC:

The cover for Green Lantern #49 (page 60; 23 December) shows John Stewart looking through a scope as he's aiming a rifle. There was a cover in last month's Previews on which he was looking through a scope as he's aiming a rifle. What the hell?

Hey, look at the cover of Booster Gold #27 (page 66; 9 December):

Classy!

I like the solicitation for Arkham Reborn #3 (page 76; 23 December): "[I]t's starting to look like the new Arkham Asylum is one big joke." Really? As opposed to the fine security at the old one?

So the DC Holiday Special 2009 is coming out on 9 December (page 83). B'wana Beast stars in it! Remember, 20 years ago, when a certain God of All Comics pointed out that maybe, just maybe, that's a bit racist? But it's so kitschy! Good job, DC, bringing the name back!

There's a Steve Ditko Creeper hardcover on sale on page 91 (24 February). It's 40 bucks, but I would assume it's totally worth it. Of course, I like how it includes stories that were written by people who weren't Ditko and drawn by people who weren't Ditko. That's rather weird.

DC is releasing the Doc Savage mini-series from 1987 in trade paperback (page 92; 13 January). It's written by Denny O'Neil and drawn by the Kuberts (Adam and Andy, not Joe). Anyone want to chime in with a recommendation for this?

Vertigo has Daytripper #1 (page 107; 9 December) by Gabriel Bá and Fábio Moon. Yeah, that's going to kick much ass.

Hey, Peter Milligan's Human Target gets a new trade on page 113 (13 January). It collects the original mini-series by the much-missed Edvin Biukovic and the graphic novel Final Cut by Javier Pulido. Is it worth it? For 15 bucks, you better believe it!

Jamie Delano writes a new John Constantine graphic novel, Pandemonium, on page 114 (10 February). Not only that, it's drawn by Jock. So you know it will look awesome.

The third (and sadly, final) trade of Young Liars is out on page 116 (20 January). Pick it up and have your mind blown!

Image:

The latest "next issue project" is offered on page 143 (9 December). It's Silver Streak Comics #24, and it features Erik Larsen and Paul Grist, among others.

The second Elephantmen trade is offered on page 148 (16 December). Excellent stuff, and it's 312 pages for 25 bucks. Not bad.

Speaking of second trades, the second trade of Phonogram is offered on page 149 (16 December). Considering three issues have yet to come out, I wouldn't hold my breath. I get sad whenever another week passes and an issue of Phonogram doesn't come out. Please tell me they'll come out, Mr. Gillen! (Mr. Gillen reads the blog occasionally, and although I can probably call him Kieron, I don't want to take the chance. He'd probably get McKelvie to beat me up.)

Speaking of tardy comics, Gødland #31 is offered on page 157 (16 December). I miss Gødland.

Marvel:

I won't be buying Avengers: The Initiative #31 (page 4; 23 December), but that's an awesome cover:

Here's the solicitation text for X-Men Noir: Mark of Cain #1 (page 14; 2 December):

"In the dark and steamy jungles of Madripoor, the flashing claws of Logan, the blazing bullets of Cyclops, and the dashing fists of the Angel met with wave after wave of beserk [sic] headhunters, all willing to protect the secrets of the Temple-Tomb of Cytorrak with their lives! The ancient treasure map of mercenary Cain Marko, with its siren-song of the priceless gigantic ruby of the fabled god-king, had lured them only into the icy claws of Death!"

Now, it's written by Fred van Lente, so I'm sure it will be good, but that doesn't really sound like noir, does it? And how nice that these stories sold so well they're getting sequels.

So last month, in the solicitation for Dark Avengers #11, the text claimed, "[A]s the world gets turned upside down and no joke ... someone dies. For reelz!! This month, for Dark Avengers #12 (16 December), they use the exact same text. I guess no one cares what's in the actual book, as long as it's, you know, kewl.

Okay, I don't have much to say about the two Fall of the Hulks specials on page 34-35 (2 and 23 December), but the fact that there's a "Hulk family" is, well, stupid. There. I said it.

Ugly Cover Alert! New Avengers Annual #3 (page 45; 2 December) is drawn by Mike Mayhew, who's fairly decent, but his cover looks like this:

Blech. Really, blech.

So Bushman is back and is letting all of the crazy people out of some asylum in the latest issue of Vengeance of the Moon Knight (page 46; 16 December). If you want to convince us that Moon Knight isn't a Batman rip-off, you probably shouldn't steal ideas from a famous Batman story.

Ugly Cover Alert! What. The. Bleep. (Page 51, by the way.)

Even though we all must love Warren Ellis, in the latest issue of Astonishing X-Men (page 57; 9 December), we learn that there's an "attempt to remove mutantcy from the planet Earth entirely." Sigh. Good plot, there. I realize it's all in the execution, but still.

X-Factor #200 is offered on page 70 (16 December), and the team is back in New York (God forbid a Marvel book take place outside of New York or some fictional location; the X-Men bailed on San Francisco for a fictional location, and now X-Factor has skipped out on Detroit). It's an odd solicitation - the issue is 104 pages, with the listing "new and reprint," but there's no mention of what's reprinted. Usually Marvel makes a big deal about what they're reprinting, so I wonder what's going to be in this one.

Ed Hannigan: Covered is a cool project (page 80; 2 December). It features some of Hannigan's Marvel covers from the 1970s and '80s, and proceeds go directly to Hannigan himself, as he multiple sclerosis. What's interesting, though, is that there will be only one printing of this book EVER (as the text loudly proclaims). I guess Marvel doesn't want Hannigan getting too many proceeds through multiple printings, do they? Still, it's a cool thing to do.

Marvel Masterworks: X-Men vol 8 (page 83; 10 March) is a keen collection: all the X-Men stuff from between the cancellation of the original series in 1970 to Giant-Size X-Men #1 in 1975. That's kind of neat.

For 20 dollars, you can get the Mini Marvels Ultimate Collection trade paperback (page 100; 23 December). I don't know if I can handle all the awesome that this collection will surely have.

Okay, it's time to head into the back of the book. Fear not the lack of superheroes!

Jim Rugg draws Afrodisiac from AdHouse Books on page 188. I don't know if this will be any good (it sounds like a parody/pastiche of 1970s blaxploitation movies, so I'll probably skip it), but Rugg is a damned fine artist, so it will look good.

As you recall, I'm not a big fan of Eric Powell's writing (although I love his art). But many people are, so check out Chimichanga #1 on page 188 from Albatross Exploding Funny Books (which means it's self-published), which is Powell's new series. It's the story of a bearded girl in a circus. Presumably, because it's Powell, there will be gross jokes that I won't find funny.

I would recommend getting the Secret History Omnibus on page 196 from Archaia, because it's a very good series. I'm wondering, however, if Archaia is ever going to finish publishing the original issues. I've been waiting for the final two issues, and don't want to spend $35 to get two new issues. It's vexing. If you haven't bought any of the individual issues, however, this is a very cool series, and the $35-price tag is for a 336-page comic, so it's a fairly good value.

I'm kind of bothered by Avatar's new layout in Previews. On page 205 they offer "Ignition City #5 Auxiliary" edition. I don't know what the hell that's supposed to be. But Ignition City #5, the "regular" edition, hasn't come out yet. This can't be replacing it, so when is it supposed to arrive? These are titles shipping in December, and it's not on their list of books coming out in November. I loathe "convention" specials and "variant" crap - I just want to read the damned book! (That last rant wasn't aimed directly at Avatar, as other companies do it too. Don't worry about the exclusivity of the book, worry about people reading it!)

There's a new printing of the Mysterymen Adventures trade for $20 on page 210 from Bob Burden Studios. I've never read anything by Burden. Tell me, good comics aficianados, should I purchase this?

Com.X has the softcover version of Cla$$war volume 1 (a second volume of which will probably never appear). It's actually not bad - the art quality goes down when Hairsine leaves and the fact that it's incomplete is annoying, but it's pretty good. That's on page 227, right next to a strange offering: 45, in which one man interviews forty-five super-powered individuals because his unborn child might have the gene that makes one superhuman. That's a decent idea, but here's the twist: each page is drawn by a different artist, and according to the solicit, they have some good ones lined: Liam Sharp, Jock, Charlie Adlard, and Dan Brereton, to name a few. Interesting.

Garth Ennis has a new Battlefields series coming out on page 235 from Dynamite Entertainment. This time, we get a young Australian joining a bomber squadron that's about to start runs over the Ruhr valley. It's drawn by PJ Holden, who's quite good. It's always nice to see an Ennis war story, although it would be nice to see him do other wars than WWII. It's called "Battlefields," not "World War Two Battlefields"!

On page 239, Dynamite gives us Dreadstar: The Beginning, which collects the stuff from before the ongoing series began. Yes, it's $30, but I can't wait to get this, as I've never read them.

I doubt if I'll get Death Valley #1 from Desperado (page 242), but it's a Western, it's written by Keith Champagne and drawn by Shawn Moll, so if you really dig Westerns, this might be something to check out.

Fantagraphics brings Ho Che Anderson's King back into print on page 252. Is this as good as I've heard it is?

I probably won't get Borgia (volume 3) from Heavy Metal on page 255, mainly because it's volume 3 and it's $15 for 56 pages, but it features artwork by Milo Manara, who's tremendous. And he likes drawing naked women, which is never a bad thing.

IDW keeps bringing these old comics back into print, and I certainly appreciate it. On page 263 they have Winterworld by Chuck Dixon and Jorge Zaffino. I don't know if it's any good, but it sounds like the kind of action comic that Dixon knocks out of the park, and Zaffino is a fine artist. I'll have to check it out.

You can also get a trade of The Life and Times of Savior 28 (page 267), J. M. DeMatteis's deconstruction of a superhero who decides he wants to change the world by becoming a pacifist. It's not perfect, but it's pretty good.

Abby and the Crusader get married in Love and Capes #12 (page 269, Maerkle Press). I should get this series more. It's quite charming.

Justin Gray and Lee Ferguson bring us Mr. Keen: Tracer of Lost Persons on page 270 from Moonstone. It's the story of a woman who hires Mr. Keen to find a man who is "sheer evil." Oh dear. It's a good creative team, and I might have to give it a whirl.

The second volume of Chris Schweizer's "Crogan" series, Crogan's March, shows up on page 274 from Oni Press. The first of the series, Crogan's Vengeance, was quite good, and now we get a story of a different member of the family in the French Foreign Legion, fighting bad guys and creatures that like to eat people! Man, that sucks.

Atomic Robo and the Shadow From Beyond Time gets a trade paperback on page 284 from Red 5 Comics. You shouldn't wait for the trade on this awesome comic, but if you do, now's your chance to pick it up!

Mercury by Hope Larson is offered on page 285 from Simon & Schuster. Hey! I already reviewed this!

On page 294 we find The Apocalypse Plan from Transfuzion Publishing. Writer Rafael Nieves imagines Heaven and Hell as corporations that track souls instead of sales. It could be a clever idea, and Dan Dougherty draws it, so it will look pretty good.

I'm sure you're dying to get your Zan and Jayna T-shirts (page 330):

The question is: would wearing the Zan one and promising that you have a Jayna one for her repel a woman or attract her? The mind boggles! (Considering they're brother and sister, perhaps it's best not to think about it.)

This figure features "cast-off clothing." Ewwwwwww (page 376).

Page 385. Blood Energy Potion. We're in hell:

Okay, maybe going too far into the back of the book isn't that good of an idea. But you can still stop before you get to the truly creepy stuff! Grab that Previews and start digging! You know you want to. Who wouldn't?

38 Comments

• At October 4, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  Damn, that's a lot of goodness in one month, even without comics shipping the last week.

  I seriously did not ...

• At October 4, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  I dunno, if I saw a Zan shirt at Kohl's for like ten bucks, I might go for it for ...

• At October 4, 2009, Wraith wrote:

  Damn, that's a lot of awful in one month. Greg, I gotta share just about every criticism you made in ...

• At October 4, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  I thought Detroit was fictional. Didn't they invent it for Robocop?

• At October 4, 2009, T. wrote:

  Mike Mayhew is usually pretty good but he really seems to have channeled his inner Greg Horn for that cover. ...

• At October 4, 2009, Sijo wrote:

  Mr. Burgas, you have a REALLY strange sense of what an ugly-looking cover is. Especially since you didn't seem to ...

• At October 4, 2009, Nitz the Bloody wrote:

  Yet Warren Ellis' Astonishing X-Men has been, for all its delays and status quo irrelevance, the best X-Book on the ...

• At October 4, 2009, Jack Cheng wrote:

  I like the MysteryMen, but I don't think it's Bob Burden's best work. If you've never read anything by Burden, ...

• At October 4, 2009, Dean wrote:

  Jim Rugg draws Afrodisiac from AdHouse Books on page 188. I don't know if this will be any good (it ...

• At October 4, 2009, Omar Karindu, with the power of SUPER-hypocrisy! wrote:

  That Buffy cover reminds me of a question I've always had about comics licensed from TV shows: given that the ...

• At October 4, 2009, Omar Karindu, with the power of SUPER-hypocrisy! wrote:

  Also, Nitz, no: I'd say X-Factor is more consistently good than Ellis's Astonishing. Ellis has superior technique in his ...

• At October 4, 2009, Nitz the Bloody wrote:

  " This isn't to say Alyson Hannigan or Buffy are necessarily someplace I'd expect this, givent he show's attitudes and ...

• At October 4, 2009, Scavenger wrote:

  I never could figure out the racism in B'Wana Beast's name. I've googled and searched and have never figured ...

• At October 4, 2009, Anonymous wrote:

  It's always nice to see an Ennis war story, although it would be nice to see him do other wars ...

• At October 4, 2009, funkygreenjerusalem wrote:

  T'was me.

• At October 4, 2009, Omar Karindu, with the power of SUPER-hypocrisy! wrote:

  http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bwana

  "Bwana" is sort of like "sahib" in India: a word the natives were expected to call the guys in pith ...

• At October 4, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Scavenger: "bwana" is a "respectful term of address" in parts of Africa, but I believe it's usually associated with natives ...

• At October 4, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  D'oh! Too quick for me, Omar!

• At October 4, 2009, funkygreenjerusalem wrote:

  FGJ: I was thinking of his Spanish Civil War story in "War Stories," which was very good. I wouldn't mind ...

• At October 4, 2009, TimCallahan wrote:

  You will like Burden. Read his stuff.

  You will not like the O'Neil/Kubert(s) "Doc Savage" mini. Unless you like stuff that's ...

• At October 4, 2009, Nitz the Bloody wrote:

  " 'Do other wars'... just say what you mean Greg - we want him to do Nam! "

  He has done ...

• At October 4, 2009, funkygreenjerusalem wrote:

  He has done it, twice, and excellently, during Preacher. John Custer's experiences in Vietnam show that he's done more war ...

• At October 4, 2009, Michael wrote:

  I see no problem with the Buffy cover; then again, my Hannigan crush is well documented.

  X-Men: Noir sounds more like ...

• At October 5, 2009, Jamie McKelvie wrote:

  Issue 5's been done for almost a month, but unfortunately has been held up on the production side of things.

• At October 5, 2009, Andrew Collins wrote:

  The Doc Savage mini wasn't awful by any means, but it does suffer a bit from "Scrappy Doo" syndrome. The ...

• At October 5, 2009, Craig wrote:

  Eric Powell's Chimichanga looked like it would fit in the vein of Goon... until I noticed that the solicit says ...

• At October 5, 2009, Omar Karindu, with the power of SUPER-hypocrisy! wrote:

  [I]in Punisher it was about Castle and how he was destined to be The Punisher well before his family were ...

• At October 5, 2009, Kieron Gillen wrote:

  Hi Greg

  Issue 5 has been held up at Image for the last four weeks due to a production bottleneck, which ...

• At October 5, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  KG and Jamie: This is why I can't imagine being in your shoes, when you've finished something and it's still ...

• At October 5, 2009, Gianluca wrote:

  Greg. There must be some Radical hate going on since even Stevie Wonder would have caught the The Last Days ...

• At October 5, 2009, Jay Potts wrote:

  Greg,

  Trust me, you WILL want Jim Rugg's "Afrodisiac" collection. Here's why: http://worldofhurtonline.com/tag/jim-rugg/

• At October 5, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Sorry, Gianluca! I did see the book, but Remender is usually hit and miss with me. I'll have ...

• At October 5, 2009, Gianluca wrote:

  Sweet. Steve Pugh and myself greatly appreciate that. I'm obviously biased on Last Days so please excuse my rant. It ...

• At October 5, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  That Buffy cover reminds me of a question I've always had about comics licensed from TV shows: given that the ...

• At October 5, 2009, sgt pepper wrote:

  Kieron and Jamie, that all DJs issue (was that #4? anyway) was masterful, and easily one of my favorite comics ...

• At October 5, 2009, Stefan Wenger wrote:

  Mm, I'd have to say Ellis' Astonishing X-Men has been the least inspired and least exciting core X-Men book (though ...

• At October 7, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=289815

  Beau Smith has no problem with B'wana Beasts name!

• At November 9, 2009, Drew wrote:

  I know I'm joining in on this conversation way late, but I haven't been a fan of Ellis's Astonishing X-Men ...

So, that's what I thought. Instead of reviews under the boilerplate, I'm going to open my three volumes of Schott's Miscellany (Schott's Original Miscellany, Schott's Food & Drink Miscellany, and Schott's Sporting, Gaming, & Idling Miscellany), select passages at randon, then transpose those. Feel free to ignore them; you know that every so often I get a little weird (like when I used poetry to express my thoughts about the comics I bought; wasn't that fun?), and I'm sure by next week I'll be back in a mood to do straight reviews. Let's dive in!

Astra: An Astro City Special #1 (of 2) ("Graduation Day") by Kurt Busiek (writer), Brent E. Anderson (artist), J. G. Roshell (letterer), Jimmy Betancourt (letterer), and Wendy Broome (colorist). $3.99, 24 pgs, FC, DC/Wildstorm.

Final Meal Requests: Since the death penalty was reinstated in the mid-1970s, Texas has had the dubious honor of executing more people than any other American state. The lethal injection Texas employs consists of sodium thiopental, pancuronium bromide, and potassium chloride (at a cost of $86.08). Below are the final meal requests from some of those executed in Texas.

JEFFREY DOUGHTIE (executed on 8.16.2001): 8 soft fried eggs (wants yellow runny), big bowl of grits, 5 biscuits with bowl of butter, five pieces of fried hard and crisp bacon, two sausage patties, pitcher of chocolate milk, 2 pints vanilla Blue Bell ice cream, and 2 bananas.

GERALD MITCHELL (executed on 10.22.2001): 1 bag of assorted Jolly Ranchers.

SPENCER GOODMAN (executed on 1.18.2000): Double cheeseburger, french fries topped with onions and cheese, baked potato topped with sour cream, cheese and butter, 2 fried pork chops, 3 beef enchiladas, and chocolate cake.

WILLIAM LITTLE (executed on 6.1.1999): 15 slices of cheese, 3 fried eggs, 3 buttered toasts, 2 hamburger patties with cheese, 2 sliced tomatoes, 1 sliced onions, french fries with salad dressing, 2 lb. of crispy fried bacon, 1 quart chocolate milk, and 1 pint of fresh strawberries.

JOHNNY GARRETT (executed on 2.11.1992): Ice cream. [John Garrett??????]

RONALD O'BRYAN (executed on 3.31.1984): T-bone steak (med. to well done), french fries and "catsup," whole kernel corn, sweet peas, lettuce and tomato salad with egg and french dressing, iced tea, sweetener, Saltines, Boston cream pie, rolls.

(The Texas Department of Criminal Justice is at pains to note that 'the final meal requested may not reflect the actual final meal served.')

Rapture #4 (of 6) by Taki Soma (writer/layouter), Michael Avon Oeming (writer/artist), Val Staples (colorist), and Thomas Mauer (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

Stanley Cup Winners, 1893-1926 (pre-NHL, that is):

1893: Montreal AAA
1894: Montreal AAA
1895: Montreal Victorias
1896: Winnipeg Victorias/Montreal Victorias
1897: Montreal Victorias
1898: Montreal Victorias
1899: Montreal Victorias/Montreal Shamrocks
1900: Montreal Shamrocks
1901: Winnipeg Victorias
1902: Winnipeg Victorias/Montreal AAA
1903: Montreal AAA/Ottawa Silver Stars
1904: Ottawa Silver Stars
1905: Ottawa Silver Stars
1906: Ottawa Silver Stars/Montreal Wanderers
1907: Kenora Thistles/Montreal Wanderers
1908: Montreal Wanderers
1909: Ottawa Senators
1910: Ottawa Senators/Montreal Wanderers
1911: Ottawa Senators
1912: Quebec Bulldogs
1913: Quebec Bulldogs
1914: Toronto Blueshirts
1915: Vancouver Millionaires
1916: Montreal Canadiens
1917: Seattle Metropolitans (an American team? for shame, Canada!)
1918: Toronto Arenas
1919: no decision
1920: Ottawa Senators
1921: Ottawa Senators
1922: Toronto St. Pats
1923: Ottawa Senators
1924: Montreal Canadiens
1925: Victoria Cougars
1926: Montreal Maroons

No, I don't know why some teams shared the Cup back in the day. Anyone?

Secret Warriors #8 by Jonathan Hickman (writer), Alessandro Vitti (artist), Sunny Gho (colorist), and Dave Lanphear (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

List of contradictanyms (words which have opposing meanings based on the context in which they are used):

You must BOLT the door ... or he will BOLT for the door.
FLOG a horse ... in order to FLOG the horse-meat.
GARNISH that dish ... or I will GARNISH your earnings.
Secure it with a BUCKLE ... or it will BUCKLE under the weight.
Please SCREEN us from ...the film they are about to SCREEN.
Though CRITICAL in his comments ... he was CRITICAL to our success.
You can see the stars are OUT ... once the lights are OUT.
It is everyday CUSTOM ... to have suits CUSTOM-made.
It was an OVERSIGHT ... to give him OVERSIGHT of the project.
I will FIX the gate ... in order to FIX the race.
Bind him FAST to prevent ... a FAST getaway.
He was only a QUALIFIED success ... although he is fully QUALIFIED.

The Unknown: The Devil Made Flesh #1 (of 4) by Mark Waid (writer), Minck Oosterveer (artist), Andres Lozano (colorist), and Marshall Dillon (letterer). $3.99, 22 pgs, FC, Boom! Studios.

According to the latest figures [the book was published in 2005, so they may have changed] from the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) [which actually exists!], Norway is the ideal country to move to if you're idle. There the "average hours worked" per-year per-person in work is 1,337 - compared to 1,792 in the United States and 2,390 in Korea:

Norway: 1,337
Netherlands: 1,354
France: 1,421
Germany: 1,446
Denmark: 1,475
Italy: 1,591
Ireland: 1,613
United Kingdom: 1,673
Canada: 1,718
United States: 1,792
Japan: 1,801
Australia: 1,814
Mexico: 1,857
Greece: 1,938
Korea: 2,390

The conclusion: Europeans are lazy. I knew it! Except for the Greeks. What the hell?

Unknown Soldier #12 ("Easy Kill: Conclusion") by Joshua Dysart (writer), Alberto Ponticelli (artist), Oscar Celestini (colorist), and Clem Robins (letterer). $2.99, 23 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

Some Shakespearean insults:

You are not worth another word, else I'd call you Knave.

Why art thou then exasperate, thou idle, immaterial skein of sleave-silk, thou green sarsenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the world is pestered with such waterflies, diminutives of nature.

Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter.

This woman's an easy glove, my Lord, she goes off and on at pleasure.

False of Heart, light of Ear, bloody handed, Hog in sloth, Fox in stealth, Wolf in greediness, Dog in madness, Lion in prey.

You shew'd your teethes like Apes, and fawn'd like hounds and bow'd like Bondmen.

Like the toad, ugly and venemous.

I would thou didst itch from head to foot and I had the scratching of thee; I would make the the loathsomest scab in Greece.

You fat and greasy citizens.

Like a villaine with a smiling cheek, a goodly apple rotten at the heart.

You common cry of curs! whose breath I hate as reek o' th' rotten fens, whose loves I prize as the dead, carcasses of unburied men that do corrupt my air.

X-Factor #49 by Peter David (writer), Valentine De Landro (penciler), Pat Davidson (inker), Jeromy Cox (colorist), and Cory Petit (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Surströmming:

The Swedish dish Surströmming is a somewhat acquired taste. Small, freshly caught herrings (strömming) are placed in wooden vats and a solution of brine is added. After 48 hours or so the heads and intestines are removed and the fish are again packed into barrels with brine. The barrels are left for 8-12 weeks in the summer heat, "cooking" them at a temperature of 40-60° F. During this time the fish decompose producing a tremendous quality of vile pungent gas. The resulting "delicacy" smells very, very bad indeed, but is regarded by a significant minority as a true gastronomic treat. Sweden's medieval royal legislation, which governs the manufacture of Surströmming, allows for its sale on the third Thursday in August, when the fish is traditionall eaten with beer, aquavit, or vodka.

Now that sounds tasty!

I promise I'll be better next week. I guess I gots the fifth-week blues. I don't know how Chad Nevett was getting 13 books this week. I was looking at the outlay at the comics shoppe and I couldn't believe he'd be getting 13 books, unless he was in the mood to gouge his eyes out. But maybe he'll tell us what he got!

Anyway, feel free to discuss the miscellany or the awesome books you bought this week. Just because I skipped the JLA 80-Page Giant doesn't mean it sucked! Or maybe it does. Beats me!

Let's bring it on home with some totally random lyrics:

"I'm a beast on the microphone, a night stalker
A killing machine, a savage street talker
Jason with an axe, but I put it on wax
To eradicate the suckers who thought I had relaxed
The prince of hip hop, straight from Queens
Kicking it mean, keeping it clean
And you've never seen anybody rock the party
All you funky beat-aholics, this beat's Bacardi
I go to the show, and terrorize emcees, don't you know
Moving my hand like I'm playing the piano"

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's almost time for me to have some Surströmming for dinner (it's sold in cans, after all). I can't wait!

28 Comments

• At October 1, 2009, The Dude wrote:

  This is why, in my opinion you're the best guy posting on this blog.

  I skipped the whole thing after the ...

• At October 1, 2009, The Dude wrote:

  I read the Shakespeare insults after all.

  That guy could write well even when he's calling someone a whore.

• At October 1, 2009, Joe wrote:

  One of my favorite quotes from Shakespeare was something to the effect of "A man isn't a man until he ...

• At October 1, 2009, acespot wrote:

  The reason there may seem to be two winners in any given Stanley Cup year is that for the longest ...

• At October 1, 2009, Tom Fitzpatrick wrote:

  Winnipeg hasn't WON a Stanley Cup since 1902?!?

  Dammitalltohell!!! We NEED a real hockey team!!!! ;-)

• At October 1, 2009, Dean wrote:

  Great. Now I'm wondering exactly how often Texan death row inmates get the last meal they asked for. ...

• At October 1, 2009, Thok wrote:

  "You speak an infinite deal of nothing."-Merchant of Venice

• At October 1, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  I can't wait for the What I Bought that's entirely in Latin.

• At October 1, 2009, stealthwise wrote:

  "Only" 6 issues this week? That's a decent month for me!

• At October 1, 2009, Mike Blake wrote:

  There's an insult I'll have to use: "Thou unnecessary letter."

• At October 1, 2009, fit2print wrote:

  Pointless self-indulgence, thy name is Burgas. Did anyone actually read past the preamble of this patently ludicrous post?

• At October 1, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Dude: Thanks? I guess.

  acespot: Good to know, sir. Thanks for the knowledge!

  Thok: Man, that's mean. But appropriate!

  Bill: ...

• At October 1, 2009, joshschr wrote:

  The only thing more pointlessly self-indulgent than blogging is calling out bloggers for being pointlessly self-indulgent in the comments. ...

• At October 1, 2009, Alan Coil wrote:

  Texas has also executed more innocent prisoners than any other state.

• At October 1, 2009, Tom Fitzpatrick wrote:

  "Texas has also executed more innocent prisoners than any other state."

  A pretty good reason NOT to visit Texas, eh? ...

• At October 2, 2009, Dan Bailey wrote:

  >>No, I don't know why some teams shared the Cup back in the day. Anyone?

  Because Canadians are so absurdly polite, ...

• At October 2, 2009, BDaly wrote:

  You're a strange man, Burgas.

• At October 2, 2009, Tom Fitzpatrick wrote:

  "Because Canadians are so absurdly polite, I'm sure."

  It's a national character flaw. I dunno why, though.

  If it's of any ...

• At October 2, 2009, Brian wrote:

  We need more reviews like this column.

  BTW, I really enjoyed JLA 80-page Giant, with two exceptions: One panel the ...

• At October 2, 2009, Dan Bailey wrote:

  >>If it's of any consolation, Winnipeg is earning the nickname "Mini-Detroit" due to the crimes and murder rates.

  Guess SOME of ...

• At October 2, 2009, Greg Manuel wrote:

  JACK! THE RIPPER! KING HERCULES!

• At October 2, 2009, Dan Felty wrote:

  Hey, Greg! I bought 3 Story: the Tales of the Giant Man because of you! Well, not ...

• At October 3, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Very cool, Dan. I hope you enjoy it.

  Greg: I was worried no one would revel in the glory that ...

• At October 4, 2009, T. wrote:

  When I first saw this piece, I gave Greg credit for trying something new but lost interest soon after the ...

• At October 5, 2009, BDaly wrote:

  Greg, did you get some of this stuff from Schott's Original Miscellany? I was looking through my copy this weekend ...

• At October 5, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  BDaly: Indeed I did! Should I point out that I wrote it above? Skip my purple prose at ...

• At October 5, 2009, Nick Evans wrote:

  Those death row types are really letting themselves go. Can't be good for their health.

  Also, yay for Europe: 4 ...

• At October 5, 2009, acespot wrote:

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_auto-antonyms_in_English

A few years ago, Matt Kindt wrote and drew Super Spy, which was the best graphic novel of the year (in my opinion, of course - take that as you want). Since then I've been waiting to see what he does next, and now it's here: 3 Story: The Secret History of the Giant Man, which is published by Dark Horse and costs $19.95. Can it match the excellence of its predecessor? Can it????

Well, not quite, but it's darned close. In some ways, it's better than Super Spy, and my opinion might be just because Super Spy was so inventive and exciting that 3 Story, which is a bit more conventional in its storytelling, seems a tiny step down. Really, however, I oughtn't compare the two, because I loved 3 Story, and if the love is a little bit less than what I have for Super Spy, it's still an excellent graphic novel.

The title of the book not only refers to the main character's size - he's a giant, after all - but the fact that Kindt tells three different stories about the main character from the point of view of three important women in his life. The main character is named Craig Pressgang (the last name is never explained, although I suppose the way Craig finds his employment is somewhat shady), and throughout the book, he never stops growing. The first story is told by his mother, whose husband is killed in World War II and is left to raise Craig alone. The second story is told by his wife, Jo, who meets him in college and stays with him as he continues to grow, becomes a worldwide celebrity, and is recruited by the CIA. The third story is told by his daughter, Iris, who is searching for him after he disappears into the wild.

Kindt does his usual fantastic job and structuring the story - basically, it's a chronological tale, but some events remain unexplained until later, when they fit into the grand narrative. Kindt does this very well, but that's not really important in the grand scheme of things. What's important is that this is a wonderful look at alienation, as Craig simply doesn't fit in anywhere in society. The metaphor is a tad bit heavy-handed, but that's a minor complaint. Kindt is really looking at how Craig's growth affects the women, and he does this wonderfully. Craig's mother, Marge, is actually somewhat unsympathetic even as Kindt makes her story tragic. It's an interesting contrast, because we want to feel bad for Marge - her husband, after all, was killed in the war, leaving her a single mother. Her son grows too fast for her to even have a normal relationship with him, and she's left alone once again, desperate for something real in her life. She never seems to make an effort to reach out to Craig, instead pining away for Butchy, her husband. Then, when he outgrows her (both literally and figuratively), she acts like a petulant child instead of accepting it. It's a very interesting way to present the relationship, because Kindt shows that he's never going to get too far into Craig's head - we learn very little about him from him. The closest we get is in his conversations with Jo in the second story and a brief recorded journal that Jo listens to. In Marge's tale, Craig is hardly a presence at all - Kindt rarely even shows him in toto, as he doesn't fit into the panels (a function of his height, of course, but Kindt also does it to show how he's moving beyond his life even as a child). Marge is a tragic figure because of what has happened to her, of course, but also because she never considers that the other people in her life might be suffering more than she is - Butchy suffered, of course, because he was killed, but Craig suffered far more, and Marge can't see that.

Jo's story is also a sad one, for different reasons. She falls in love with Craig in college, before he has grown too tall. After they get married, Craig continues to grow, and eventually he grows too tall to have a relationship with her and their daughter. This is a devastating chapter, as Kindt does a marvelous job showing how isolated Craig would become as he grows. He addresses the physiological problems of Craig, as well - not just how he'll support himself as he grows (as his bones would crack), but the issues with, say, his poor eyesight (how will they make a prescription strong enough for him?). Craig and Jo's relationship is doomed from the start, and it's interesting how Kindt explores it. Jo is an architect, and she starts to create dioramas expressing her sadness with her life. Craig is also an artist, and he becomes frustrated by the kitsch value of his art. As they fall apart, Jo's dioramas become more and more twisted, and she realizes that Craig is no longer part of her life - she can't even communicate with him except by writing on a chalkboard, because he's too loud for her and she's too quiet for him. It's an amazing look at the disintegration of a relationship, not because of a loss of love, but because one person becomes so apart from society that even the love of a woman can't bring him back.

Kindt wraps up his comic with Iris, Craig's daughter, searching for him as part of a book she's writing about him. It's somewhat of a summation of his life in general, as Iris discovers secrets about his work for the CIA (for which he was just a courier - his size would never allow him to be an actual spy) and why he stopped working there, and she tracks him across the planet, trying to understand what has happened to her father. The final pages are beautiful and poignant, as Kindt explains why he structured the book the way he did (through Iris, of course, who comes to the realization). Iris may not get the answers she's looking for, but she does get the story of her father, and that's what she wants.

Kindt not only tells a wonderful story, the way he lays out the book is amazing as well. Kindt has a very interesting style, as he uses deliberate distortions of characters to make visual points and puns, and he does it well in this book. I can't decide if the one problem I have with his art is deliberate or not: Craig's size varies even as he ought to be constantly getting bigger, and it's somewhat strange. Occasionally he looks 20 feet tall, while other times he seems to shrink even though the time is chronologically later in his life than the previous time. It's not that big of a deal, but it's a bit strange, especially if it's not conscious on Kindt's part. But the design of the book, overall, is wonderful. In Marge's story, he uses flashbacks to show her and Butchy together, but the dialogue is just her reminiscing about how she can't remember enough about the specifics of the courtship. Jo's architecture comes into play, too, as she designs a house for them to live in that will accommodate Craig, but Kindt also messes with our perceptions, as often Jo is creating tiny versions of landscapes from her life, so she becomes the giant in those situations just as Craig is a giant in "real life." Kindt also places newspaper clippings and other media into the book, and some of them read like regular press releases or advertisements (Craig is a pitchman for many products) while others form snippets of dialogue and narrative between Jo and Craig. It's an interesting device, and like Marge's recollections in the first story, helps keep the book visually interesting when the narrative becomes just Jo and Craig chatting, which might get boring. Kindt is marvelous at this kind of storytelling. The final chapter is a visual feast, as Iris narrates sparingly but follows every lead about her father, from the Bigfoot-like photograph of him in Las Vegas to the lake-like footprints he leaves scattered across the landscape. Iris is chasing a ghost, and it ties back into the isolation Craig feels - his traces are everywhere, but he himself is gone. Everyone remembers the Giant Man, but nobody really knew him, even those closest to him. How could they?

With just a few graphic novels under his belt (this is only the third full-length book he's written and drawn), Kindt has become a geniune top-shelf creator, and I'm anxious to see his next work (he's working on a graphic novel for Vertigo, I know that much). He has become a better writer (I might like Super Spy more, but this is definitely a more thoughtful work) and his pencil work continues to shine while his design skills improve. There's more going on in 3 Story than even I covered in this review - Craig grows up in the Fifties and Sixties, so the idea of social unrest is present throughout, mirroring his alienation from society - and it's the kind of book that you can read again and again and discover a new layer of meaning (I've read it twice already). It's a wonderful comic book, and I think you should put down that video game console and go get this right now! Well, I guess you can finish that game. But then get on it!

Tomorrow at noon: The last review a day? Could it be????

7 Comments

• At September 27, 2009, Dan Felty wrote:

  Matt Kindt is great (St. Louis represent, yo!), and I'm sure to read this.

  You don't mention the Pistolwhip ...

• At September 27, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Yes, I read them, but he didn't write them, so I deliberately left them off. They're pretty good, though.

• At September 27, 2009, steve wrote:

  Love the art. I'll definately have to get this if I see it. Hope it isn't tiny for twenty bucks.

• At September 27, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  Love the art. I'll definately have to get this if I see it. Hope it isn't tiny for twenty bucks.

  If ...

• At September 28, 2009, Dan Bailey wrote:

  Geez. This looks GOOD.

• At September 28, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  steve: If by "tiny" you mean the dimensions, it's about the size of a normal regular paperback. If you ...

• At September 28, 2009, Neal K wrote:

  steve: It's a decent size, and actually I thought the $20 price tag was on the cheap side for a ...

I've been enjoying this comic, but not enough to really love it or order you to buy it (yes, I can do that, and you must obey!), but it's getting better, and this is the best issue yet. First of all, Twiki makes an unexpected cameo, and it's pretty hilarious. More than that, though, Beatty is doing a really good job balancing the ridiculous (the Pack is kind of goofy even though they are, after all, dangerous) with the more hardcore science fiction, and the fact that Buck and Wilma spend most of this issue in 1930s-style spacesuits (complete with jodhpurs!*) makes me happy. Rafael is doing a solid job on art, and Beatty is building the story nicely, not giving too much away until it's necessary and keeping things moving along. Like the other Dynamite licenses I've been reading (Zorro, see below, and The Lone Ranger), it's a sturdy, engaging comic that doesn't promise too much and delivers what it promises. And a wolf wearing a codpiece? Gold!

* Fashion-wise, you can never go wrong with jodhpurs.

Detective Comics #857 ("Elegy Part Four: Rubato!" and "Pipeline Chapter One: Part Four") by Greg Rucka (writer), J. H. Williams III (artist, "Elegy"), Dave Stewart (colorist, "Elegy"), Todd Klein (letterer, "Elegy"), Cully Hamner (artist, "Pipeline"), Dave McCaig (colorist, "Pipeline"), and Jared K. Fletcher (letterer, "Pipeline"). $3.99, 30 pgs, FC, DC.

Rucka does a bit better with the story in this issue, mainly because he finally gets around to Alice doing something, you know, criminal that affects the world at large rather than makes Batwoman grumpy. I lost patience with superhero stories in which the villain does a villainous thing that seems only to affect the hero - why do I care? - so it's nice to see her aim high, and Rucka does a good job with the big fight, as there's plenty of tension and two beautifully laid-out fight scenes. Rucka and Williams do a nice job foreshadowing the ending throughout, both in the words and, notably, in the art. Williams is one of those artists whose page designs actually mean something - they don't just look fancy for the fun of it. This hasn't been the best story, story-wise, but at least Rucka ends on a good note. I will say that Stewart's choice to make Kate zombie-like in her civilian identity really doesn't do it for me, and I'm curious about the drawing of Batwoman when she's flying through the air toward the plane: Why does it appear like her nipple is on the side of her breast? It's really disconcerting.

I know it's a cliché to say I'd buy a Williams-illustrated phone book, but I would. Not only is he a great illustrator, but the way he creates a comic is just so different from pretty much anyone working in mainstream books today, and it really does make reading a comic drawn by him a joyful experience.

Oh, and there's the back-up story. As much as I like Hamner's art on it, I don't dig Renee's blonde hair. I'm also not sure how it gets to be blonde, as we watch her putting on her outfit and her brunette hair never changes color, and then, when she's in full Question mode, it's blonde. I'm thinking too much about this, aren't I? Anyway, I wish she'd just keep the brunette hair. But that's just me.

Elephantmen #21 ("Kill Kill Kill") by Richard Starkings (writer) and Boo Cook (artist). $3.50, 24 pgs, FC, Image.

I'd like to thank Richard Starkings once again for sending me the latest issue of Elephantmen. He's a mensch.

We get another one-and-done story, which has been the modus operandi for this "Dangerous Liaisons" theme that's been running the past six issues, as Starkings is focusing on one character from the book while still moving the overall plot forward. In this issue, for instance, he focuses on Ebony Hide, the elephant cop who often works with Hip Flask, the series' nominal star. Like all the elephantmen, Ebony has a neurochip implanted in his spine that "turned him on" - filled him with bloodlust and made him a better soldier. That was for when he was a warrior, but he still has the chip. In this issue, someone turns it on. Oh dear. Ebony ends up in a dry canal (the Los Angeles river, I assume) facing off against four crocodile hybrids which have also been turned on, and they fight to the death. It's all a test, proving that the hybrids can still be controlled if someone wants to. We're not sure who's behind it (they're obviously connected to Mappo, the company that made the hybrids in the first place), but that, presumably, will be something Starkings gets back to eventually. And the issue ends with a chilling epilogue that portends far more serious problems for the population.

It's basically a big fight scene, but that's fine - Starkings does a nice job with it. Cook, who's not a bad artist, is not as up to snuff on the action scenes - he cuts some corners, it seems, and the figures occasionally come off as a bit too cartoonish. You can see by the cover that he knows how to draw, and some of the panels are absolutely gorgeous (the flashback scenes to Ebony's war are very well done, as is Ebony's pose when he claims victory). But the fight itself is rushed and even a bit confusing, as in a few panels, we're not sure how many crocodiles there are. For the most part, however, Cook does a fine job with the art. The lack of a regular artist over the past few issues hasn't hurt the book at all - Starkings finds good artists, certainly!

It's always nice to read a new issue of Elephantmen. Starkings continues to craft a wonderful science fiction adventure, and I'm always excited to see what's going to happen next.

Fantastic Four #571 ("Solve Everything Part Two") by Jonathan Hickman (writer), Dale Eaglesham (artist), Paul Mounts (colorist), and Clayton Cowles (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

I don't think I like buff Reed. Big Fat Reed, however - now there's a hero!

This turned fairly conventional in a hurry, but I'm still going to read the rest of the arc to decide if Hickman deserves my well-earned coin. I mean, Reed wants to solve everything, so the other Reeds show him the good they can do, the bad they feel they must do, and then the bad guys show up because they're all jealous. Meh. Eaglesham draws the hell out of it, of course, but it's kind of dull. Perhaps because I've never really been a fan of Reed and his massive ego, so when he dismisses Sue like that early on, I want her to expand an invisible air balloon in that big brain of his and show him who's really in charge. The four pages with the entire group at the breakfast table is the best part of the issue, and then Reed goes off to his weird autoerotic club and it's just not that interesting. Hickman has earned a look at least through how he resolves this arc, but I wasn't impressed with this issue as much, because it felt too "super-heroic." But I hope for better!

Hellblazer #259 ("The Cottage") by Peter Milligan (writer), Simon Bisley (artist), Jamie Grant (colorist), and Sal Cipriano (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

There's a cameo in this issue that freaked me the hell out. You know which one I'm talking about! It was pretty awesome, though, but still extremely freaky. Look at Milligan, indulging in some old-school Vertigo continuity! How cute!

Anyway, this is a nasty little issue in which John learns (or remembers) some awful stuff to do with Phoebe. It's a good issue, but that's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about Vertigo's coloring policy. Look at that cover. Bisley draws a freaky monster embracing John, and although the colors are slightly muted, they still pop a bit, and that's pretty keen. Then we get to the interiors. Bisley is a very good artist with an unusual visual style, and he's a good choice for this issue (and, frankly, for the rest of Milligan's run - Camuncoli just doesn't seem to fit, and I like Camuncoli). And then Jamie Grant mutes everything, including that creature on the cover, and everything is gray and brown and dull. I don't blame Grant, actually - we've seen how well he can make a book pop before, after all (All Star Superman, anyone?). I don't know if it's Vertigo's paper stock or just their overall editorial policy, but the books don't look as well as they could. John's demented journey through his past ought to be more hallucinatory, but it's just not. I think of Bisley in the same way I do Brendan McCarthy in terms of wackiness, and when I think of some of the old Shade, the Changing Man comics, with Bachalo being crazy and McCarthy doing that one issue in which Shade goes a bit nutty, I wonder how those would have looked under the current Vertigo regime. The same as most of their other books: dull. I can't think of a Vertigo book that doesn't suffer from this problem - some are a bit better than others, sure, but even the brighter ones are still dull. I really like this issue and I even like Bisley's pencils, but why on earth are Vertigo books so dour? Does anyone know? Am I going to have to go MarkAndrew on Shelly Bond and demand an e-mail? I'M ENTITLED, DAMN IT!!!!!!!

Anyway, that cameo. Awesome.

The Incredible Hercules #135 by Fred van Lente (writer), Greg Pak (writer), Rodney Buchemi (artist), Guillem Mari (colorist), Emily Warren (colorist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Oh, Dr. Japanazi, you with your two evil Axis brains. How can we stay mad at you?

I will say, if this is really what role-playing games are like, I'm glad I never played a role-playing game. Are they really that boring? You roll a die and then explain what's happening? Blah. My friends and I used to smash models of World War II planes into each other while we fought a made-up empire based on a kid who lived down the street and who we couldn't stand. That, my friends, is what childhood is all about.

What redeems the role-playing, of course, is that Amadeus and Pythagoras are battling not just over Pythagoras's RPG, but over reality itself!!!!!! Amadeus is trapped in some strange alternate realities, and he needs to figure out a way to escape, and despite the hot chick with ripped clothes carrying a machine gun, violence won't necessarily get him there. He needs to use his 7th-smartest brain to get out of Pythagoras's trap, and van Lente and Pak do a nice job with that. Plus, they end with a nifty reveal and a set-up for the Hercules special that's coming out soon (Spider-Man was in the solicit in Previews, so I assume that's what it's setting up). This story arc, with Amadeus, hasn't been as funny as Hercules-as-Thor, but Pak and van Lente are still writing a wildly entertaining and fun superhero epic, plus it's smarter than almost anything out there (I'm not talking about the Boltzmann brains, but just the general intelligence of the storytelling). So yeah, it's still awesome. Even with all the role-playing.

Madame Xanadu #15 ("Exodus Noir Part Five: Unto the Furnace") by Matt Wagner (writer), Michael Wm. Kaluta (artist), Dave Stewart (colorist), and Jared K. Fletcher (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

Here's another Vertigo book, with a different colorist, that suffers from the poor coloring. The cover is on the glossy stock and has some nice tones on it - the colors aren't garish, certainly, but they definitely glow more than the interiors do. Inside, it's more of the murk, and although the demon is brightly colored, the scenes in Spain, where it ought to be bright (I've been to Spain, and one of the few things I remember was how danged bright it was), just aren't. I don't mean to harp on it, really, but Vertigo often gets top shelf artists and good colorists, and I think they're doing themselves a disservice by (apparently deliberately) making the books uglier than they should be. Again, I get that events in Vertigo books are often dour, but think how much more effective the scenes in this book set in Spain would be if the glare was overwhelmingly cheerful - the irony would be thick! Alas, it's just a sad little scene that we saw coming from the very beginning of the arc.

As for the arc, well, it's over. I have now read all 15 issues of Madame Xanadu (I got the trade of the first ten issues), and I won't be picking up issue #16. Amy Reeder Hadley is a pretty good artist, and I like Wagner's writing, but the series just isn't grabbing me, and even though this arc (with more Vertigo cross-continuity - what's up with that this week?) is a pretty good read, I was buying it for the art, and now that Kaluta is gone, so am I. If Kaluta does another arc, I might check it out. We'll see. It's not a bad comic, it's just not that great. Oh well.

Power Girl #5 ("Space Girls Gone Wild!") by Jimmy Palmiotti (writer), Justin Gray (writer), Amanda Conner (artist), Paul Mounts (colorist), and John J. Hill (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC.

I wonder if, while Gray and Palmiotti are hammering out a script on this comic, they consult the artist. Ms. Conner is intimately connected to Mr. Palmiotti, after all, and I wonder if she tells them, "You know, I'm going to draw asses this time around. YOU CAN'T STOP ME!!!!!" Wisely, they stay out of her way. And so we get this issue, and these drawings:

I'm totally not objecting to this kind of gratuitous ass-drawing, mind you - in a comics universe where female superheroes wear clothing that they ought to, by all rights, pop out of on a regular basis, these drawings are almost innocent - but I was just struck, in this particular issue, by how Conner managed to work asses into the story. Really, only the final shot of Power Girl is from a POV that would make it necessary. But Conner can do no wrong in my book (she posed with Laura's gnome, for crying out loud!), so I love that she drops ass shots into this book, as well as a fun "Power Girl changing on the roof" scene that is actually necessary (as it introduces a subplot) and allows Kara to say "fucked" without Palmiotti and Gray having to use grawlix. That's always fun.

I'm still not sold on this series (and I usually give new series that don't piss me off in the first issue at least six to impress me), but Palmiotti and Gray are slowly loosening up, and although this issue is mostly set-up, as three babelicious aliens land on earth (in Brooklyn, of course, because aliens would never land someplace gauche like Saskatoon or, if you live in Saskatoon and are now swearing vengeance upon me, Brisbane) and PG tries to track them down and encounters the dude who is chasing them. It's a humorous issue, for the most part, with a gorgeous male android sex slave and the three alien foxes discovering hot dogs and yet another joke about PG's rack and a good cat-washing. Unfortunately, it's not a chimpanzee washing the cat, but I guess we can't get everything! It's certainly getting better, and as long as Conner is drawing it, I'll at least think about buying it. But I might have to bite the bullet next issue and make a decision. If we get another issue like this, I might just keep getting it. Until it gets cancelled. Come on, this can't last, can it? I hope it can, but it doesn't feature dead superhero zombies eating other superheroes, so I doubt if anyone is reading it. Because dead superhero zombies eating other superheroes is, you know, real.

Spider-Woman #1 by Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Alex Maleev (artist), and Cory Petit (letterer). $3.99, 28 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Speaking of cheesecake, that cover disturbs me. Not that much, just to the point where I have to comment on it. Inside, we learn that Maleev used a model named Jolynn Carpenter for Jessica Drew (I would have pegged Jessica as older than 25, but whatever). I assume Ms. Carpenter posed for that cover, too, and I wonder if she was, you know, unclothed. Why? Almost right in the center of the page we see her left nipple, and you can see the slight change in direction as we reach the areola. Again, I have absolutely no problem with this, I just found the "realism" of the breast odd, especially as everything in the painting seems to revolve around it, like it's the sun or something. I'm always disconcerted when we see "realism" in superhero art (which is why Alex Ross's art, despite its craftsmanship, is a little weird), so I just thought I'd point that out. Yes, add this to Power Girl and Detective as comics that made me obsess for a few minutes over female body parts. Deal with it!

I accidentally read a bit of Our Own Chad's review of this comic, and I think I agree with him - it seems really late. I mean, does anyone in the Marvel Universe even care about Skrulls anymore, now that the Green Goblin has taken over the U. S.? Skrulls, like Brad Lidge's skills, are so 2008. In theory, I guess Skrulls are always a problem in the Marvel U., but it seems like this issue loses some sense of urgency because it's taken so long coming out in printed form. That Chad - when he's not rotting his brain by snorting crushed Smarties, he's pretty smart.²

Overall, this is the kind of Bendis book that I like - yes, Jessica is a superhero, but she gets recruited by S.W.O.R.D. (buy the new series by Kieron Gillen, people!) to track down aliens and kill them. So this becomes a weird kind of pseudo-noir tale set in the Marvel U., which works for me, as Bendis did the same kind of thing on Daredevil (and his run is really, really good). Obviously, this feels like it's going to be a bit more superheroey than that comic, but it's still a murky, morally shifty kind of book, and I can dig it! Taken as a discrete issue, this is frankly kind of boring, as nothing much happens until the very end, but I'm patient, and Bendis does a pretty good job catching us up on what's going on in Jessica's life and why she's, you know, suicidal (to tie this into this week's theme). Bendis writes about Wolverine a bit too much, but that's okay.

Maleev is a weird artist, even though I like him. Occasionally his art looks terrible (the splash page, for instance), and occasionally it looks very stiff and out-of-context (the people in the scene when Jessica arrives in Madripoor don't look like they're occupying the same space, for instance). But I can't stay mad at it. He sets up the scenes very well, and his weird use of photo-referencing works for him and, most importantly, for Bendis's comics. It's always strange to consider what Maleev has evolved into over the past decade-and-a-half or so, considering how, well, crappy his art was back in the day. You may not like his art, but he has a cool style that fits what Bendis is doing.

I will say that I'm surprised the people in the Marvel U. are so close-minded. Not like the Men in Black at all, are they? Thirty-two alien races on Earth, and all are unwelcome? Sheesh. Abigail Brand is a meanie.

So I'll give this a few issues. It's off to a pretty good start. And I'd love to see some DC alien races make cameos. That would be fun.

Underground #1 (of 5) by Jeff Parker (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), and Ron Chan (colorist). $3.50, 22 pgs, FC, Image.

I could have read this a while ago, as Parker sent me a link to where you could read it on-line, but I didn't. I suck. I knew I was getting it in printed form, and I just forgot to check it out. You can read it on-line, though. It's in black-and-white, but you cheap bastards out there won't care about that, will you????? Just click the link on the title up there.³

So here's the set-up: There's a cave in Kentucky. A developer wants to, you know, develop it so he can make some coin and, somewhat incidentally, help the depressed economy in the region. Two park rangers who at the beginning of the issue have made the beast with two backs for the first time are trying to stop him, because it would ruin the natural beauty of the caves and shit. Two shady characters are planting explosives in the caves for some nefarious reason. The male park ranger (yes, one is male and one is female - it's family-friendly!) discovers them and one of the explosives goes off, knocking him out and trapping him in the cave. The female park ranger finds him. And ... exeunt!⁴

Parker, of course, does a fine job setting this all up. On the first few pages, he and Lieber blend the pertinent information (in the form of a reporter interviewing various people around the region, a tried and true method) with scenes from the cave as Wesley (the female ... yes, the female) has a dream in which she sees the punks blowing shit up. From there it's fairly straight-forward, but still a darned good read. Parker doesn't make the developer, Winston Barefoot, a purely evil dude, although he's pretty unctuous. The people in town just want jobs to come back, and they're willing to sacrifice natural beauty for a chance to regain some dignity. Meanwhile, Seth, Wesley's new boytoy, isn't completely on her side, but he's also not willing to side with Barefoot, who he thinks is exploiting his Cherokee heritage (Seth is also Cherokee) for profit, counting on the fact that nobody will say "boo" to him because of political correctness. It's a nice character study, and Parker, more than in his Marvel work (which is, of course, fantastic) does a good job making these people real. And it's always nice to see Lieber's art. He has a good, naturalistic feel to his pencils, and the scene where Wesley tries to figure out what to say to Seth after their night together is very funny.

I'm not surprised this is good. I expected it to be good, after all, and it is. Yay, good comics! And the creators' web sites are listed on the inside cover. I like to think that was just for me. Thanks, Image!

Wasteland #26 ("Childhood's End?") by Antony Johnston (writer), Christopher Mitten (artist), and Douglas E. Sherwood (letterer). $3.50, 24 pgs, FC, Oni Press.

As good as Wasteland is, I hope the schedule has been righted now that Mitten, we hope, has regained his sanity following the full-color, double-sized issue #25. Poor Christopher Mitten. He should punch that British git Johnston right in the face!⁵

But we're off on another story arc, and if Warren Ellis can't get you to buy this book (as he's quoted on the cover), then I just don't know what to do with you guys. Johnston returns to Newbegin and begins checking in on the characters who are left, apparently focusing on one in each issue of this arc. In this, he focuses on Yan, the son of the ex-Primate Heddor, who is given a job by the Founder and doesn't really like it: He's taking care of Neelan, the artisian who is under house arrest. Yan doesn't think this is too good a job, but he does it, and over the course of six months, he begins to discover that life is a tiny bit more complex than he thought it was. Johnston ties this into the bigger events of the city, events which will presumably be fleshed out in subsequent chapters.

It's a nice character study, as Yan, a youngster who is certain he knows everything about the world, slowly realizes that things aren't always black-and-white. Yes, that's not a terribly original plot, but plots ultimately don't matter - it's how the writer deals with them, and Johnston does a good job letting Yan discover things on his own and change his own mind. As usual, he takes his time and lets these characters live and grow on their own, and it continues to be a pleasurable read. Mitten, of course, is fantastic, although I'm a bit confused on a few pages, where two characters seem to be substituted for each other at random. Hibberd, the artisian's servant, seems to magically appear in one panel and replace Neelan, who seems to disappear. In a book like this, which has a large cast of characters who often are not identified by name, it's kind of confusing. Hibberd and Neelan don't look anything like each other, which is why the shift is so jarring and obvious. It becomes clear what exactly happens (Neelan leaves the room, Yan talks to Hibberd, then goes into the room where Neelan went), but it's not laid out particularly well. Still, it's a minor complaint. And it's just one page (plus one panel on the previous page).

I'm happy to see Wasteland back, and I hope it will continue to come out on a regular basis. It's too good for these gaps between issues!

Wednesday Comics #12 (of 12). $3.99, 15 pgs, FC, DC.

I thought I'd give you some trivia about Wednesday Comics. Okay, one piece of trivia (trivium?). There were 12 "issues" of this serial, and 15 stories. So there were three stories that didn't get to be featured in the "big circle" at the lower right. Which ones were the ones that didn't get the star section? Can you remember? Thanks to me, you don't have to! The ones that didn't make it were Azzarello and Risso's Batman, Berganza and Galloway's Teen Titans, and Simonson and Steelfreeze's Demon/Catwoman. Why were they shortchanged? Beats me. But there you have it!

Anyway, I was going to delve into this much more, but I'm not going to. Some worked, some didn't, some got better, some got worse, and it's disappointing that Kubert's Sgt. Rock didn't feature Rock killing Nazis in every. Single. Panel. But still. I can certainly understand why people didn't like this and bailed on it, but despite some uneven quality, I kept getting it because it was just such a cool idea and it was fun reading the stories. It was interesting seeing the writers try to create these 12-page stories, one page at a time, and although some failed (you know which ones I'm talking about!), it was still a really keen experiment. We'll see what they come up with next time!

Zero Killer #5 (of 6) ("Nuclear Family") by Arvid Nelson (writer/letterer), Matt Camp (artist), and Dave Stewart (colorist). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

I'll just point you in the direction of my review of the entire series, and leave it at that.

Zorro #16 by Matt Wagner (writer), Francesco Francavilla (artist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $3.50, 22 pgs, FC, Dynamite Entertainment.

See, one Matt Wagner comic I don't really love, while another I think is very good. It's odd when that happens - I can only assume I have more interest in Zorro the character than Madame Xanadu the character, because I don't see a huge difference in actual writing quality in the two books. I do like Francavilla more than I like Hadley, but it's not like I can't stand Hadley. I'm always curious as to why I don't like certain things by a writer when I like other things by the same writer. Oh well. I think Zorro is better than Madame Xanadu. You may disagree!

Wagner continues to look at Zorro through the eyes of those who have encountered him, this time letting a privateer in the employ of Spain tell General Mancado about the time Zorro fucked his dudes up. It's basically an excuse to let Francavilla draw a big fight, and of course he does it magnificently. Plus, Diego lets Lolita know that they must pretend not to love each other because of the old chestnut: to "distract any who might wish [her] harm." Oh, you're a crafty one, Diego! So we'll see where that goes.

Wagner is still setting this thing with General Mancado up, so everything is still simmering, but it looks fantastic. Of course it does!

All right, let's fire up the totally random lyrics!

"When I was a very small boy,
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
That's the price that we all pay
Our valued destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there was just no way of knowing"

Yeah, that's easy. Such is the randomness of totally random lyrics!

Finally, let's think fondly about frequent commenter FunkyGreenJerusalem, who probably woke up this week after napping off a Vegemite and Carlton bender and thought he was on Mars:

Finally (yes, I know I just wrote "finally," but let's ignore that), I'd like to make a request of you guys that isn't comics-related. My lovely wife has Polycystic Kidney Disease, and in a couple of weeks she's participating in a walk to raise money for research into it. If you would like to donate to her, please go to the PKD Foundation web site. There's a button there to "donate to a walker," and if you click on that, it will take you to a screen in which you can search for a specific walker. Her name is Krysta Burgas, and after you search for it, you can click on her name and it will bring up her personal page. On that page is a button labeled "give a gift." If you're so inclined, donate some money. It would be groovy if you could. If not, c'est la vie. And thanks for indulging me.

Let's take it out with a final thought:

"I don't need no Ph.D. to be a doctor of fuckin' misery!" Testify, Mike!

¹ Honestly, I wrote that before Brad posted his Wednesday Comics thing and got everyone riled up. I just happened to be listening to "Lights ... Camera ... Revolution" this week, and as it's, you know, freakin' superb, I figured I'd fire up the quote machine.

² I doubt if Chad does this. I used to do it when I was in junior high. It's a weird rush. Surprisingly, I never graduated from it to cocaine. It seems like an easy transition!

³ I suppose some of you have, you know, bills to pay and family members to feed and lame shit like that. Okay, you're not cheap. We're still friends, right?

⁴ A Shakespeare reference and a stage direction in the same paragraph? I was an English major, bitches - deal with it!

⁵ Once again, I should probably point out that I'm joking. Johnston is a swell guy. Unless I've been misled all these years and "git" is actually a good thing. If so, then he's totally a git!

31 Comments

• At September 24, 2009, Thok wrote:

  Batman probably didn't get the lead since it was the first page when opened. Teen Titans probably didn't get ...

• At September 24, 2009, Chad Nevett wrote:

  I don't do that. Never snorted anything except for water accidentally while swimming and allergy nasal spray.

  And, honestly, I don't ...

• At September 24, 2009, Josh wrote:

  Haha Brad Lidge

• At September 24, 2009, Stefan Wenger wrote:

  I don't have anything useful to say here except I can't believe you're not head over heels in love with ...

• At September 24, 2009, Andrew Collins wrote:

  Can someone spoil who the cameo in Hellblazer is for me? I haven't been reading Milligan's run, but I'm a ...

• At September 25, 2009, rhod wrote:

  Do I get bonus points for identifying both "You can't bring me down" and "True Faith"?

• At September 25, 2009, dreamweaver wrote:

  I agree with Renee's blond hair in question mode. i just don't get it.

• At September 25, 2009, T. wrote:

  Regarding Renee Montoya's hair color change, I'm guessing Rucka and Hamner are doing it as a homage to the original ...

• At September 25, 2009, ZZZ wrote:

  It has to do with the way the mask stays on the Question's face. When he or she puts his ...

• At September 25, 2009, Julian wrote:

  It's always been that way.

• At September 25, 2009, Wraith wrote:

  OKay, FWIW: I just got up like 20 minutes ago, and I've been online for barely 10, and already this ...

• At September 25, 2009, Mike Loughlin wrote:

  Now I have to go the whole day without yelling "YOU! CAN'T! BRING! ME! DOWN!!!! (Bring me down!!!)" out loud. ...

• At September 25, 2009, Patrick Joseph wrote:

  Wraith: Exactly! "A boy told me what he saw in this picture.." Never could figure out what Wertham was seeing. ...

• At September 25, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Chad: I can buy her being suicidal, but I do agree that Bendis tells us too much about it rather ...

• At September 25, 2009, Alan Coil wrote:

  Chad said:

  "Bendis really hasn't done a good job of setting this up..."

  Typical Bendis. Reading Bendis is like listening to a ...

• At September 25, 2009, T. wrote:

  Thanks for the info about the Question's hair color change, everyone. That's ... well, I was going to say silly, ...

• At September 25, 2009, Dan Felty wrote:

  Super-speed, the same way the Flash does anything.

• At September 25, 2009, Dan Bailey wrote:

  As usual, I'm avoiding reading most of these because (a) I don't buy the comic in question, or (b) I ...

• At September 25, 2009, Neal K wrote:

  Alan -

  I don't see that in Bendis' work at all (and I have a four-year-old, so I am familiar ...

• At September 25, 2009, Wraith wrote:

  Greg-

  You have to be one of the most humble and polite bloggers in comics-interweb-land. ...so what are you doing here? ...

• At September 25, 2009, Stefan Wenger wrote:

  Y'know, I can't really listen to any other Suicidal Tendencies stuff anymore, but Lights... Camera... Revolution! does it for me ...

• At September 25, 2009, Alan Coil wrote:

  Neal asked:

  "Care to elaborate with examples?"

  No, thanks. I ranted. I'm done now.

• At September 25, 2009, bebopeva88 wrote:

  Abigail Brand is half alien herself, and will be facing suspicion by Gyrich for it, so she's no meanie -- ...

• At September 25, 2009, Scott Harris wrote:

  Flash's miniature costume that expands on contact with air is great. As for how he gts it into the ring, ...

• At September 25, 2009, Andrew Collins wrote:

  Cool, thanks Greg. Kathy was my other guess, given that Milligan is the one writing the comic. I'll be picking ...

• At September 26, 2009, wwk5d wrote:

  Jessica as suicidal doesn't really work, but, as many people have mentioned, maybe had the book come out much earlier, ...

• At September 26, 2009, Rob Schmidt wrote:

  Did you read the FF-oriented BIG TOWN mini-series several years ago? This What If-style story pointed out how ridiculous ...

• At September 26, 2009, Rob Schmidt wrote:

  Maybe the Flash's costume is saturated with the Atom's white dwarf-star radiation. That would explain how it can shrink.

• At September 26, 2009, Jack Norris wrote:

  Burgas, re: FF:

  'I wasn't impressed with this issue as much, because it felt too "super-heroic."'

  Considering the complaints about previous recent ...

• At September 26, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Jack: Yeah, I suppose, but I haven't been reading the previous runs, so I have no idea where Hickman is ...

• At September 27, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  I can't think of a Vertigo book that doesn't suffer from this problem - some are a bit better than ...

Agents of Atlas #11 ("Terror of the Jade Claw Part III and the Final Issue for the Foreseeable Future Because it Didn't Star Wolverine and God I Hate Consumers Sometimes") by Jeff Parker (writer), Dan Panosian (artist), Gabriel Hardman (artist), Elizabeth Dismang (colorist), and Tom Orzechowski (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Okay, so maybe the title of the story isn't quite as listed. I don't know.

Agents of Atlas will be back, of course, as they fight the X-Men for two issues and then back up the Incredible Hercules for a time, and maybe that's good enough for now. I don't know if these back-up stories (in both DC and Marvel) will help the lesser-tier characters get more leeway, but it would be nice. I'm not sure why Marvel and DC are so eager to rush into an ongoing series anyway - the sales on the original Agents of Atlas mini-series apparently didn't burn up the charts, so why not produce a couple more to see if the buzz grows? It would have helped to keep a regular artist around - this book had at least four artists draw this, from what I can recall.

I certainly don't mind too much that the regular series bit this dust, even though this issue feels a bit rushed. I'm always happy to get 10-15 issues of a really good mainstream comic even though they bite the dust with stunning regularity. At least DC and Marvel try these things. I wish they gave them more time to build an audience, but at least they're giving them some life. I mean, if the Big Two wanted things to sell like they did in comics' heyday, EVERYTHING would be cancelled, so I guess the fact that they let some of these titles tell a nice story or two is okay. I guess. But what do I know? I'm still bitter that Major Bummer died an untimely death.

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? Something explodes, but it's not really gross. But that's our theme this week!

Atomic Robo: Shadow from Beyond Time #5 (of 5) ("From Beyond") by Brian Clevinger (writer), Scott Wegener (artist), Ronda Pattison (colorist), and Jeff Powell (letterer). $3.50, 22 pgs, FC, Red 5 Comics.

The great thing about Atomic Robo, the comic, is that Clevinger is always pointing out the silliness of comic books while still wallowing gloriously in the silliness. Whether it's pointing out that those giant ants couldn't exist or that dinosaur shouldn't be able to talk, Clevinger does a nice job deflating standard comic book clichés but still managing to make this a wonderful, pulpy comic book. Like this issue: How many times have we seen someone build a machine like those guys on the cover build (the dude on the left is named Louis; the dude on the right, sadly, doesn't get a name) and no one thinks twice about it? Robo shows up and points out, logically, that it's an evil computer. "Computers that are evil have all kinds of unnecessary ornamentation," he says. "This thing's venting steam!" Of course it's evil! It's funny because it's true, as Homer Simpson might say. And Clevinger, of course, shows that it is, indeed, evil. Why won't they listen to Robo?

This is the big finale to the big fight against the thing from outside the universe, so we find out what was going on at the end of last issue. It's a twisty time-travel sort of thing, which means it makes my head hurt, but Clevinger, showing how good he is, makes it at least funny and somewhat plausible. And Tesla's reaction is pretty awesome.

I don't know if I can express how joyfully kooky this comic is. Clevinger and Wegener knock it out of the park every time, and it's just one of those books where each issue is a slice of greatness. Long may Atomic Robo reign!

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? Robo fights that thing from beyond space and time. He likes bombs and guns. You do the math! (Yes, math! In a comics post! You should never have skipped algebra to hang out in the smoking alley trying to get into that goth girl's pants! Just because you listened to the Cure and had a Robert Smith haircut doesn't mean she really liked you, you know! Sorry to burst your bubble. She was really into preppies. Man, those goth girls - always teasing you with those ripped fishnet stockings and that black lipstick!)

Batman and Robin #4 ("Revenge of the Red Hood Part One: Red Right Hand") by Grant "Come on, this guy isn't bad, right?" Morrison (writer), Philip Tan (penciller), Jonathan Glapion (inker), Pete Pantazis (colorist), and Patrick Brosseau (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC.

Now, I know Tim Callahan a little bit. Not a lot, mind you, but I have met him face-to-face on two separate occasions, which is a bit of an anomaly out here in the wilds of the comics blogaxy in Internetland, and he's a pretty cool guy who has a lot of interesting thoughts about comics. I do wish he would blog more often and turn his face away from the seductive wiles of Twitter, but if he's comfortable with the Dark Side, so be it. I mention this because this year at San Diego, he told me that Philip Tan would be a drop-off from Frank Quitely on this title, an opinion shared by many around the comics blogosphere. Now that the product is here, I wonder if Tim is changing his mind. I'm not saying he needs to change his mind, but if he liked the art, would he step up and admit it? Because although I wasn't as scared of Tan taking over as most, I will admit I thought the art wouldn't be nearly as good as it is in this issue. It's not quite as good as Quitely, but it's very close. Yes, I just typed that. I'm totally serious.

Where Quitely shines is in his inventive page design, something that Tan apes a bit and, while he's not quite on par with Quitely, he does a nice job mixing things up with regard to the design. The second and third pages, where Lightning Bug runs from the Red Hood and leaps between buildings, is laid out very well, with the gap between the buildings bisecting the splash page and the smaller panels scattered along the edges. Similarly, when the Red Hood crashes the hoods' meeting and slaughters them is nicely done. The biggest problem with the art layouts is on the credits page and on the final page, where the position and the way the Red Hood and Scarlet are drawn are very weird and awkward. But Tan does a good job with the art, and on some pages there's a bit of a Tom Mandrake vibe, and I like Tom Mandrake. So there. I'm not as concerned with the art now, even if I'd rather see Quitely or Cameron Stewart doing it. But that's not Tan's fault. Those dudes are seriously good.

As for the actual story, it's a testament to the God of All Comics that he can make a dull plot like someone taking Batman's schtick up a notch (killing bad guys instead of incarcerating them) and giving it some zazz. Of course, he came up with the plot, so maybe we shouldn't let him off the hook too much. As usual in superhero comics, it's all about the details, and the creepy author and the Red Hood's conversation with Scarlett, for instance, make this a decent read, even if it feels stale. Whenever you put plot in superhero comics above everything else, you're going to hit some dull spots. Witness a couple of Marvel books below this, one of which hinges on the depiction of a character and overcomes a (deliberately) goofy plot, while the other hinges on a plot and therefore feels a wee bit stale (even though I still like it). Whenever Morrison puts words that don't have much to do with the overall plot in his characters' mouths, we get neat stuff. But acknowledging that the plot is a bit shopworn ("But mostly ... I guess this is about the revenge of one crazy man in a mask ... on another crazy man in a mask") doesn't make it less shopworn.

Still, it's a good, solid superhero comic. And Tan is better than I expected, which is neat. (Not surprisingly, I've been reading negative reactions to Tan's art across the Wide World of the Web. Only one I've read so far as done any kind of analysis of why it's bad, preferring instead to wax nostalgic about Quitely. I certainly don't mind people preferring Quitely to Tan, but it would be nice if they gave some reasons. End rant. I promise.)

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? Why, yes! Lightning Bug's neck counts, right?

Beasts of Burden #1 ("The Gathering Storm") by Evan Dorkin (writer), Jill Thompson (artist), and Jason Arthur (letterer). $2.99, 23 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

I'm fairly certain I've never read anything by Evan Dorkin before. I know I have to turn in my "Indy Comics Nerd" card for admitting that, but that's the way it is. But now I have! Can I have my card back?

I mentioned that I saw Thompson's pages for this entire issue at San Diego, and I was totally jazzed to check out the first issue, because her paintings were, typically, fan-freakin'-tastic. She does an amazing job with the animals, making them real animals even as they're speaking to each other. The frogs that fall from the sky, for instance, are really keen-looking, but of course they remain frogs, who are slightly icky, setting up the crisis that develops later in the issue. Thompson does a wonderful job with the battle in the forest, showing how, well, animalistic these animals really are. It's an unsettling comic visually for two reasons: the darkness of the subject matter is contrasted nicely with the gorgeous surroundings; and Thompson makes the animals so real (and often cute) that when they turn vicious, as they must, it's disturbing. You could get this book based on the art alone and not be disappointed.

I missed the first few appearances of these characters, but Dorkin does a nice job introducing them all and alluding to the previous stories without making it necessary to go back and check them. This is a nifty one-and-done issue, so if you want to give it a try without committing to the entire mini-series, you can. Dorkin does set up the rest of the series nicely, but it's still a complete story in its own right. It's a terrifically weird and creepy story, too, with a nice touch of tragedy and a good climax in which ... well, the characters win, but do they really? Maybe something weirder is going on around Burden Hill ...

This is a very good first issue, because it introduces the characters well, introduces their situation well, has a disturbing plot that resolves in this issue but also sets up the rest of the mini-series, and features Jill Thompson's art. If you had any brains at all, you would have seen the listing of Jill Thompson as artist and immediately shut off your computer and run out and bought this! And you have brains, right? I know you do!

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? Most assuredly! And it's strangely beautiful. Such is the power of Ms. Thompson! (Who, by the way, gave the best acceptance speech at the Eisners. She's talented and hilarious!)

Ex Machina #45 ("Pro-Life Part One") by Brian K. Vaughan (writer), Tony Harris (artist), JD Mettler (colorist), Jared K. Fletcher (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Wildstorm.

The wheels are in motion. The BIG! PLOT! is dull (yeah, I'm harping on that this week), but that's not the point, of course. The point is that Mitch will, presumably, find out what exactly is going on with this alien thing. Vaughan does some nice things in this issue - he shows, once again, how difficult politics are to navigate, even when, like Mitch, you're not worried about re-election; and he starts tying earlier story arcs into the main arc more than usual, which is neat. Other than that, it's business as usual on Ex Machina, which means it's a good story and it shore looks purty!

There's a bit of a preview for the last issue of Planetary in the back, and as it involves time travel, it made my head hurt a little bit. I'll probably address this more when the actual issue comes out, but Ellis brings up a problem with time travel that, weirdly enough, was recently discussed in the Penn State alumni magazine (which my parents get, so I was reading it at their house in June). It's the zeitgeist, man! Oh, and I CANNOT FREAKING WAIT FOR THE LAST ISSUE OF PLANETARY!!!!! I just thought I should point that out.

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? Surprisingly, no. There's some blood and violence, but nothing going BOOM! and spraying guts everywhere.

Fables #88 ("Witches Chapter Two: Totenkinder") by Bill Willingham (writer), Mark Buckingham (penciller), Steve Leialoha (inker), Andrew Pepoy (inker), Lee Loughridge (colorist), and Todd Klein (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

I really like that cover. I think it's the word balloons that aren't actually on the page. I don't know why I like that. But I do. Don't judge me with your dead eyes!

Frau Totenkinder finishes her knitting, and if that doesn't scare you, it should. As usual with this book, something as innocuous as an old woman (who is, after all, a witch) finishing her knitting is loaded with portent, both for the other Fables and for her herself. Basically, this issue is her transforming from the old woman sitting around into ... something else. Something not quite as grandmotherly. It's one of those issues of Fables that is extremely fun to read, mainly because threads from earlier in the book are still weaving their way through it and because there's a sense of great evil lurking around every corner. Willingham's track record on this book with regard to resolving his arcs is decent if not spectacular, but the way he builds to those resolutions is usually very good, and this is just one example. Buckingham, as usual, is wonderful - Totenkinder's look as she disappears is haunting. And Baba Yaga is still hanging around being a nuisance.

Very cool issue, as most of them are.

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? Not really, although Baba Yaga's weapon explodes, sort of, and slices and dices some demon things. I guess we'll count that!

The Lone Ranger #18 ("Resolve Part Two") by Brett Matthews (writer), Sergio Cariello (artist), Marcelo Pinto (colorist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $3.50, 22 pgs, FC, Dynamite Entertainment.

As usual with this title, it's difficult to review an individual issue. Matthews has done such a nice job with getting the slow rhythm of a Western down that this is "decompressed" to the extreme, but only in the sense that The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is decompressed (to use a movie I saw recently) - that is, the violence on the frontier was often short and brutal and somewhat out-of-nowhere, and in between, there was a lot of riding. So in individual issues of this title, very often not a lot happens, but Matthews is often more concerned about one scene illuminating the moral fiber of the characters, or allowing Cariello to draw bleak scenes of the American West. In this issue, the plot moves along slowly (the Lone Ranger framed for murder!) but three scenes in particular are what Matthews is trying to get across: the sheriff wants to arrest our heroes but shows that he's a decent man because he gives them a chance to view the victim and explain what happened; there's love in the air between John and, well, his sister-in-law (Linda?); and Cavendish buys weapons and makes an unusual statement when he tests a Gatling gun. It's small moments like this that Matthews is going for, and he just allows the plot to take care of itself. I imagine that makes it read better in trade format, but I do like buying those singles, don't I? Still, Matthews and Cariello are doing their typical good job, and even though this takes its time coming out (another example of decompression?), it's a marvelous comic book.

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? Cavendish doesn't test the Gatling gun on animals or humans, so no.

M.O.D.O.K. Reign Delay by Ryan Dunlavey (writer/artist/colorist/letterer). $3.99, 20 pgs, FC, Marvel.

When this appeared in Previews, I smiled a big fanboy smile and waited eagerly for this week. I mean, come on - Dunlavey, famed for Action Philosophers!, doing a M.O.D.O.K. story in which he moves back in with his parents in Erie, PA? How can that not be awesome?

Well, it can't. Not be awesome, that is, as this is quite awesome. The only thing that gets my goat slightly is that Marvel is charging 4 dollars for this, and the story is only 20 pages. There are two text pages about how awesome M.O.D.O.K. is, but let's face it - we've just read 20 pages with glorious Dunlavey art (in full color!) about how awesome M.O.D.O.K. is, so do we really need someone writing about it? Marvel should have lowered the price on this (especially as it showed up first on-line) or added more material to justify the cover price. This is one of those "fool-me-once" things - I willingly plunked down 4 bucks for this, but next time Marvel does something like this, I really will have to consider my purchase more carefully. The nice thing is that Dunlavey really packs this story with very funny scenes, and it actually feels meatier than your standard Marvel/DC fare, so I didn't feel ripped off. But it's a slippery slope, Marvel!

Anyway, in terms of funny, this is. M.O.D.O.K. wants to get into Norman Osborn's Cabal, so Osborn sends him to Erie to clean things up. Hilarity ensues when M.O.D.O.K. (aka "George") is invited to his high school reunion. Before you can say "Grosse Pointe Blank," M.O.D.O.K. is getting bullied by the same guys who did it in high school, fighting Box of Alpha Flight, and yelling at people at the mall. It's, you know, funny. I don't really know how to explain how funny it is without ruining the jokes, but it is. In the first panel, Osborn's answering machine message tells people to make it quick because he has "28 cameo appearances this month." Box (the Madison Jeffries version, that is) is "Kitchener, Ontario's greatest super hero!" and his wife gets him to fight M.O.D.O.K. by claiming he said that the Maple Leafs suck. For example. Despite Jeffries' rather sad state (hiring himself out to make ends meet) that doesn't jive with his current appearances in Hank McCoy's little X-club, Dunlavey even makes this "in-continuity" by referencing Fred van Lente's M.O.D.O.K.'s 11 mini-series. If you care about things like that. Oh, and Erie is not "the mistake on the lake." Everyone knows that's Cleveland. Erie's rather nice, actually.

It's funny, is what I'm saying. And Dunlavey is a really good artist. And I'm disturbingly turned on by Jeffries' hot wife. Oh, did I type that last part? Never mind that bit.

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? No, but there's a lot of brain blasting.

Poe #3 (of 4) by J. Barton Mitchell (writer), Dean Kotz (artist), Digikore Studios (colorist), James Dashiell (letterer). $3.99, 22 pgs, FC, Boom! Studios.

Mitchell moves everything along, bringing in more and more tropes from Poe's fictional work, which isn't as annoying as you might expect. It's kind of clever, actually. We've moved past the "Poe tries to figure things out" portion of the book and on to the "Poe tries to stop the bad guy" portion, which is fine but less moody than the first issue-and-a-half. Kotz's art is good, but this book is really, really dark, and it's pretty annoying. I mean, sure, it takes place at night in a pit with no good lighting, but just because the scene is dark to the participants doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to see everything. Or maybe my eyesight is really horrible. I'm old, remember. And those years in the monastery copying ancient texts didn't help. Plus I think I got diphtheria there. No wonder I'm always cranky.

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? Sadly, no. Or maybe it did and I didn't see it!

Unthinkable #5 (of 5) by Mark Sable (writer), Julian Totino Tedesco (artist), Juan Manuel Tumburús (colorist), Ed Dukeshire (letterer). $3.99, 22 pgs, FC, Boom! Studios.

I've said it all along, this is a really weird mini-series. It seemed to zoom along, slow down very briefly in issue #3, and then suddenly speed up again to finish. Sable really tried to pack a lot into this series, and I wonder if it might have been better served by six issues, but then I think there really wasn't enough for six issues and maybe he could have cut some of the stuff and still had enough to get into five (or even four) issues. It's very weird. I mean, Alan Ripley thwarts the bad guys in this issue, but Sable leaves some things hanging in case he gets a sequel, so he pulls everything together nicely, but it still feels weird. Things speed to the climax, and then speed through the climax, and in between panels the entire group, at one point, changes into hazmat suits without, apparently, any significant time passing, and it's all very rushed. It bugs me, because Sable seems to have this issue with his writing - his last mini-series, Fearless, suffered from the same problem with pacing. He does some things very well - the ideas in this series are marvelous, and he obviously keeps a lot of balls in the air competently - but then he doesn't seem to be able to make things fit in the space allotted. I'd really like to see him get better, because he writes some interesting things.

The big find on this series is Tedesco on art. Like Minck Oosterveer on The Unknown, he's quite the find. Good job, Boom!

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? I'm going to count the immune systems of a few people as a "yes."

The Veil #3 ("Evil") by El Torres (writer) and Gabriel Hernandez (artist). $3.99, 24 pgs, FC, IDW.

Dang, I love that cover. Cool use of negative space.

Anyway, Chris Luna discovers what's really going on in Crooksville, and while it's somewhat a standard horror plot, the way Torres and Hernandez present it is really well done. I've mentioned this with regard to the other issues of this series, but it's hard in comics to get the "shock value" of horror movies, which don't scare as much as they surprise you with things leaping into the frame from out of the frame. Hernandez instead works hard to make the images he puts on the page, which never move, really creepy, and therefore this stays with us longer. And he does a nice job building the sense of dread that Chris feels as she gradually figures out what's going on. Torres doesn't do anything too surprising with the story, but we do get an interesting twist at the end that takes our expectations and subverts them just a bit. We think we know what happened to certain characters, but it's possible something completely different and far more disturbing is happening. It's also neat that Torres hasn't been afraid to show Chris as someone who really doesn't have her shit together, even though she's the heroine. We'd expect her not to have her shit together, but if this were a crappy horror movie, her weaknesses would be briefly mentioned and then ignored. Here, it's part of her life, and she struggles with it all the time.

This continues to be a really cool comic. Check it out if you see it on the shelves!

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? I don't know if "explode" is the right word, but there's quite a bit of blood on a few pages.

Vengeance of the Moon Knight #1 ("Shock and Awe Chapter 1") by Gregg Hurwitz (writer), Jerome Opeña (penciler), Dan Brown (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer). $3.99, 24 pgs (plus a 24-pg reprint of Moon Knight #1 from 1980), FC, Marvel.

So this is technically the FIFTH volume of an ongoing series starring Moon Knight, plus the two mini-series that Doug Moench wrote in the late Nineties. Someone at Marvel reeeeeaaaaaallllllllly likes the character, I suppose. I swear, I'm not the person who keeps greenlighting these! I'm not entirely sure why the previous series got cancelled - it just ended earlier this year, and this story simply follows that one rather logically, so I guess the lure of a new number one was too much for Marvel to resist!!!!!

And I hate to stir up a shitstorm surrounding an Alex Ross cover, but I do enjoy where your eye is drawn in that cover. I asked my wife about it, and she went right to it, too, so it's not just me being scared I'm suddenly going to like Neil Patrick Harris and Right Said Fred all of a sudden if I stare too long at that cover! I just wonder if the people who pose for Ross know they're going to be ... featured ... so prominently when they show up on a cover.

So we get a continuation of the theme of the previous series - namely, that Moon Knight is a bit bonkers. Except that didn't work commercially (even if I thought it worked very well artistically), so Hurwitz pulls back on it a bit while still teasing it. But it's hard to suss out what Hurwitz is doing otherwise with this particular issue. If I'm hopeful, he's satirizing the notion of superheroes quite subtly, playing this as straight-as-he-can superheroing while mocking the entire notion of both Osborn's corporate superheroes and really, the entire notion of pervert-suits as something healthy. While we've seen that before, ad infinitum, Hurwitz does it rather well, and it's never a theme that gets too old. That is, if I'm hopeful and that's what Hurwitz is doing. I've never actually read anything by Hurwitz (prose or comicky), so I don't know anything about his take on superheroes. Because if he's playing it straight, it's kind of odd. Moon Knight narrates as if he's a whiny teenager, desperate to be taken seriously and thinking the only way he can be is by making a big splash in New York. There's something charmingly smug about Moonie's New York-centric narration as he wings his way through Times Square, which is why I'm somewhat hopeful. And the idea that talk radio would debate Moon Knight so vigorously, despite what he did in the last series, is kind of goofy as well ... unless it's deliberate. You see the conundrum? The fact that Mr. Knight is still certifiable (even though he claims not to be) is what makes me hopeful. But we'll see.

Meanwhile, like Jill Thompson above, Opeña's art is almost worth the price of admission. I guess we'll never know how the Big Two shift creative teams, but Opeña was apparently taken off of Punisher to work on this, even though I have to assume Castle is a bit higher on the Marvel pecking order than Spector (or Lockley, as he's apparently still calling himself). So did Opeña lobby for it because he loves the character so much? Or did Marvel decide that he's a big enough artist now that they really want to give this book a push? I'm not sure, but he blows the doors off on this, in what is really two extended action scenes, one in broad daylight and one at night. The one that opens the book, where MK thwarts a robbery, is a ballet of violence and verve, with the highlight being Moon Knight surfing on a van (which gets back to Hurwitz's intentions, as it's almost too giddy to be taken seriously). Opeña gives us one beautiful panel after another, culminating in two splash pages summing up the first issue: Moon Knight destroying property to announce his presence with authority and the appearance of the Sentry at the end to challenge him. He's having a grand time drawing this, you can tell, and even though Marvel breaks up his symphony with advert pages (how annoying!), it's still a wonderful-looking comic. Who knows how long Opeña will last on the title; who knows how long the title itself will last?

As long-time readers know, I'm a big fan of the character, and I want his series to sell. However, I want them to be good, too, which is often mutually exclusive to a book's position on the sales chart. I thought the last Moon Knight series was excellent, and although I'm uncertain about Hurwitz's ultimate intentions (if he turns MK into just another superhero, this will get boring), I'm happy that he's back. We shall see, won't we?

(Oh, and the cover price is almost worth it for the reprint of Moon Knight #1 from 30 years ago in the back. That particular issue isn't the best of the series, but it's neat seeing Sienkiewicz's art before he became, you know, BILL SIENKIEWICZ - he's obviously ripping off Neal Adams, but he's also channeling Frank Miller's early Daredevil stuff. It's interesting to consider how different and unique Miller and Sienkiewicz became when you consider how much they both were patterning themselves after Adams.)

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? No. This is in marked contrast to the previous Moon Knight series, where things seemed to get gross quite often!

Wednesday Comics #11 (of 12). $3.99, 15 pgs, FC, DC.

I ought to have more thoughts about this, but I'll save them for next week, when the grand experiment comes to an end. I will say that Fletcher's page design on the Flash strip is just amazing, and as neat as Baker's computerized art was early on, it's looking sloppier and sloppier as we go along. What's up with that?

X-Factor #48 ("The Cortex Equation") by Peter David (writer), Valentine de Landro (penciler), Pat Davidson (inker), Jeromy Cox (colorist), and Cory Petit (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

I don't know if you guys have heard this, but David recently confirmed that the book is being relaunched with issue #200. Meh. I don't really care, but the book did go on hiatus for some years, plus there was that four-issue (underrated, in my mind) X-Factor mini-series that came out back in the Jemas days that had those non-mutant government agents doing their thing which won't count in the numbering. Whatever.

David continues to tie everything together in anticipation of issue #50, with a revelation about the big, bad villain behind everything and a funny Doctor Doom moment and Shatterstar showing up at an opportune moment. There's a bunch going on, naturally, and it's fine and dandy. And it's kind of interesting to see De Landro pencil an entire issue. Wait? An artist doing the entire issue of an issue of X-Factor? Holy crap!

Oh, and David wants to forget the 2009 Mets season. Even if my beloved Phillies don't win the World Series again this year, they've still had a better season than the Mets. Suck it, Mets!!!!!

Does something explode in a fairly gross manner? Surprisingly, yes. It's not too gross, but it's still fairly gross for a mainstream Marvel comic, even if it is rated "T+."

So that's the week. Wegener, Thompson, Harris, Buckingham, Cariello, Dunlavey, Tedesco, Hernandez, Opeña, Risso, Sook, Bullock, Allred, Pope, Conner, Garcia-Lopez, Kubert, Fletcher - dang, some good art this week! Let's hit the totally random lyrics!

"That thunder in your heart
At night when you're kneeling in the dark
It says you're never gonna leave her
But there's this angel in her eyes
That tells such desperate lies
And all you want to do is believe her"

Let's bring it home where we began:

"This is a Pershing missile, Chip!"
"Chet. My name is Chet. And I didn't think it was a whale's dick, honey!"

Classic. CLASSIC!!!!!

33 Comments

• At September 18, 2009, Joe wrote:

  As soon as I saw "...where Tan really shines is his inventive page-layout" I had to skip the rest of ...

• At September 18, 2009, dmor173 wrote:

  'shes the one' bruce springsteen.

  track 6 off born to run(which by the way is way is the greatest album ever ...

• At September 18, 2009, Wraith wrote:

  "This is one of those "fool-me-once" things - I willingly plunked down 4 bucks for this, but next time Marvel ...

• At September 18, 2009, TimCallahan wrote:

  Because of work and illness I haven't even picked up my comics this week. But I AM reviewing Batman and ...

• At September 18, 2009, Matt D wrote:

  Yeah, I'm bummed that ATLAS is going on hiatus, but on the other hand, ATLAS as a back up in ...

• At September 18, 2009, Matt K wrote:

  I actually got MODOCK for I believe $0.99 from DCBS. I had no idea the cover price was so ...

• At September 18, 2009, Michael P. wrote:

  You have nothing to worry about. It is biologically impossible for any human being to like Right Said Fred.

• At September 18, 2009, Dan Bailey wrote:

  Geezola .... 8 count 'em 8 comics on your list that I should be receiving no later than Monday & ...

• At September 18, 2009, BDaly wrote:

  Since we're talking about Dunleavey, does anyone know if there'll every be more Comic Book Comics?

  And, on a kind of ...

• At September 18, 2009, Ted wrote:

  You have nothing to worry about. It is biologically impossible for any human being to like Right Said Fred.

  And similarly ...

• At September 18, 2009, BDaly wrote:

  Sorry, Dunlavey.

• At September 18, 2009, BDaly wrote:

  Actually, I think I may go download some Right Said Fred.

• At September 18, 2009, Manglr wrote:

  I highly recommend the earlier Beasts of Burden appearances in the "Dark Horse Book of..." anthology series. Each story ...

• At September 18, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Joe: Yeah, I knew that would be a controversial statement. I thought the pages 2-3 spread was nicely done; ...

• At September 18, 2009, jccalhoun wrote:

  I had never heard of Beasts of Burden before so I looked on Dark Horse comics for something about them ...

• At September 18, 2009, Tekende wrote:

  I disagree about Tan's art. His page layouts are awful. There were quite a few pages I found really confusing ...

• At September 18, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  Gotta remember to pick up the Veil trade.

• At September 18, 2009, Derick wrote:

  Agents of Atlas, Cable, Guardians of the Galaxy... a lot of Marvel books are having rotating art teams. That´s really ...

• At September 18, 2009, Blackjak wrote:

  "Why are you such a wanker, Chet?"

  "Because I get off on it!"

• At September 18, 2009, Chad Nevett wrote:

  Unthinkable was pretty damn good. I loved the art especially. I still think the final issue suffered by not giving ...

• At September 18, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Thanks, Tekende! That's all I ask for!

  Chad: Yeah, that's part of why the book feels rushed. I just ...

• At September 18, 2009, Chad Nevett wrote:

  Well, another issue or tighter pacing up to this point could have helped. Even just devoting a little bit of ...

• At September 18, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Good stuff, sir! I disagree with your comment about the first page, ignored the bird (no, it doesn't say ...

• At September 18, 2009, Chad Nevett wrote:

  Like I said, I think this issue relied on subtle nuane between characters at times... which is a flaw in ...

• At September 18, 2009, jccalhoun wrote:

  Darkhorse.com is back up. Here's a link to the ecomic of the older Beasts of Burden stories http://www.darkhorse.com/Features/eComics/1090/Beasts-of-Burden

• At September 18, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Very cool, sir. Thanks!

• At September 18, 2009, Duff McWhalen wrote:

  While nothing makes me happier than thinking "Opena on Moon Knight" I really wonder what the hell is going on. ...

• At September 19, 2009, Dan Bailey wrote:

  Y'know, I own a Right Said Fred single with something like 7 mixes of "I'm Too Sexy." Also their (only?) ...

• At September 19, 2009, TimCallahan wrote:

  Luckily, the "Batman and Robin" #4 Philip Tan is not the Philip Tan of the mid-to-late "Final Crisis: Revelations," but, ...

• At September 19, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  I will say that Fletcher's page design on the Flash strip is just amazing

  ...Fletcher - dang, some good art ...

• At September 19, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Whoops, my bad. I could have sworn Fletcher was drawing it. Sorry, Misters Kerschl and Fletcher!

• At September 19, 2009, TimCallahan wrote:

  You can tell them apart in this simple way: Kerschl draws the hell out of anything. Fletcher doesn't draw.

• At September 19, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Ah, I see. That's a good way to do it!

  No Moon Knight hate, Tim? You're slipping!

That's a tough one. So much bad-assery! Let's get to the comics!

Dark Horse:

I'm torn about the Dr. Horrible one-shot on page 22 (18 November). On the one hand, everyone in the world (including, you know, orphans in Rwanda) loved the web movie. On the other hand, I never saw it. Because I am lame. So do I deserve to read this? On the other hand, Joëlle Jones draws this, and Joëlle Jones's art is concentrated awesome (even if typing her name means I have to check my HTML code every single freakin' time, because I never remember what the code is for a freakin' umlaut over an "e"). On the other hand (yes, I have four hands; don't you?), it won't feature Doogie Howser, who was, apparently, part of the awesomeness of the movie. See? I'm torn. But there it is, in case you're interested.

More Conan from Dark Horse: Page 29 brings us the Barry Windsor-Smith archives from the early 1970s (20 January). 200 pages, 50 bucks, and dang, I may have to purchase that.

Fear Agent volume 5 is solicited. Again (page 32; 13 January). Man, that book is slow. But seriously cool.

Over on page 37, we get the early stories of the Goon (30 December). I assume this means the Avatar stuff. I can't wrap my mind around The Goon at Avatar. That's just weird. Anyway, I have no interest in this, because I just don't like The Goon, but for 14 bucks, you might be interested.

Gantz volume 9 is offered on page 49 for 27 January. Considering that volume 6 hasn't come out yet (has it? I don't think it has), I'm not confident that Dark Horse can make this release date. Why are they soliciting it? I wonder.

Speaking of manga, The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service volume 10 is finally offered on page 50 (13 January). I goddamn love this series.

DC:

DC must stand for "Dick Comics." They're giving out those rings, right? The seven different rings that all true nerds must have? So they're offered with various comics that ship in November. Retailers get them if they order a certain amount of the title. Twenty-five copies, to be exact. So that's fine for the green ring that comes with Blackest Night #5 (page 61; 25 November), because most retailers are going to order 25 copies of that. R.E.B.E.L.S. #10 (page 69; 11 November), however, is a different animal. I doubt if the retailers in Tony Bedard's home town sell 25 copies of R.E.B.E.L.S. I know it's a shameless ploy by DC to get retailers to order more of their lower-selling books, but don't be surprised if your retailer charges you a modest fee for some of these "free" rings.

On page 80, Brian Azzarello and Phil Noto have a Batman/Doc Savage Special (11 November) which leads into a mini-series by Azzarello and Rags Morales. This might be the most awesome thing DC puts out in November. It might suck, of course, but I surely hope it doesn't.

I very much doubt if I will buy The Great Ten, the new mini-series by Tony Bedard and Scott McDaniel (page 82; 4 November), but I do like that DC is putting out a series with Chinese superheroes. I'm always happy to see DC and Marvel go outside the United States for some superheroing!

I want to resist Lobo: Highway to Hell on page 83 (4 November), but I might not be able to. I love that Sam Kieth is drawing it, and although I have no idea if Scott Ian can tell a story, the man who wrote "Startin' Up a Posse" can't be all bad at it, can he? It's still 7 bucks for 64 pages, though, so we'll see.

John Ostrander writes Suicide Squad #15 (I mean Secret Six #15; page 87; 4 November). That should make Bill Reed happy. But Jim Calafiore draws it. That will make Bill Reed sad. Will he choose to buy it or not? The world holds its breath!!!!!

That Batman: Confidential arc featuring Catwoman and Batgirl and drawn by Kevin Maguire gets a trade paperback on page 90 (2 December). 128 pages for 13 bucks. Sounds good!

Batman: The Cult gets a new printing on page 90 (9 December). This isn't a great comic, but damn, Wrightson's art is cool. And if you think Quitely's Batmobile/Batcycle thing in Batman and Robin #3 is keen, wait until you see Wrightson's Batmobile!

Absolute Green Lantern: Rebirth on page 91? For $75? Even the extras don't make it worth $75.

The Mighty gets a trade on page 93 (23 December). I may have to check this out, because more than a few people have said it's good. Too bad Snejbjerg didn't stick around.

Wildstorm is finishing the God of All Comics' run on The Authority (page 100). Without Morrison. Without Gene Ha. Okay, G-Mozz plotted it, but still. Just move on, Wildstorm!

Ian Edginton writes Victorian Undead on page 105 (18 November). Sherlock Holmes versus zombies. As dumb as it sounds, I like Edginton a lot, so we'll see about this.

David Lapham cashes a pay check on page 106, as he writes a video game comic. I have absolutely NO problem with him cashing a pay check, believe me. Let's hope it allows him to do something I want to read.

I thought the cover of Hellblazer #261 (page 114; 18 November) was pretty damned awesome. The dude at my comic book store disagreed. What say you?

Mike Sterling pointed this out in his post on Previews, as DC missed the boat on page 130:

Batgirl dances the Watusi? Really, DC? Aren't you, you know, forgetting something about your past? (Mike links to this, which led me to this, which will make your brain explode from the radness.)

Man, this shit scares me:

Image:

You know, Image has done a lot in recent years to transform into a publisher that is putting out some of the best books in comics. And then they do this:

We're in hell. Yes we are. (Page 136; 25 November.)

And this:

A Haunt #1 collector's edition with gold-fucking-foil embossed logo, motherfuckers! (Page 143; 4 November.)

Did I say we were in hell? We're sinking fast here!

And then there's Spawn Origins Collection: Deluxe Edition Volume 1 (page 149; 18 November), bringing us issues #1-25* for $100. Okay, it features issues written by Alan Moore, Frank Miller, and Grant Morrison, but really? One hundred dollars?

* Not really #1-25, unless McFarlane and Gaiman kissed and made up and that issue is in here. But that wouldn't happen, would it?

In case you haven't gotten I Kill Giants yet, there's a new, "Titan Edition" on page 150 for 40 dollars (18 November). It's oversized (for American comics; Kelly told me at San Diego that Niimura drew it "European-style," so it's meant to be "oversized"), includes the script for issue #1 and other bonus stuff. This is one of the best mini-series in the past two years, so you should consider splurging on this.

If you missed Chew #1 and don't feel like paying $100 for a first printing, the trade is solicited on page 151 (25 November). Ten bucks for five issues!

Ministry of Space gets a new printing on page 153 (4 November). It's not bad.

Marvel:

I shouldn't be too surprised when Marvel and DC recycle ideas, but the turnover between the recycled ideas is getting really tight. Case in point: Amazing Spider-Man #612 (page 19; 18 November), in which Spidey's classic arch-enemies are redefined one by one! Didn't Mark Millar do that five years ago? Shouldn't his foes remain redefined for a bit longer than that?

Paul Cornell writes and Tom Raney and John Paul Leon draw a new origin of the Black Widow (page 25; 4 November). I'm sure it will ignore all the Black Widow mini-series that came out at the beginning of the decade, but that's still a good creative team!

The solicitation text for Dark Avengers #11 (page 27; 18 November) reads: "[T]he world gets turned upside down and no joke ... someone dies. For reelz!!" "For reelz"? Really?

I like the text for Jeff Parker's first issue on Thunderbolts (page 56; 18 November): "You've heard raves about Parker's [Agents of] ATLAS ... but now it's time to turn him loose on some real fiends!" That's a good way to put it - "You've heard raves." They should have written, "You've heard raves - 'heard' being the operative word, as none of you bought it so we have to cancel it!" Sorry, I'm still a bit bitter.

The text for Vengeance of the Moon Knight (page 58; 4 November) puzzles me: "Years ago, Moon Knight lost his mind and killed a man, cut off his face and brayed at the moon. That man was his nemesis: Raoul Bushman." That event occurred in the first few issues of Moon Knight's previous series. So "years ago" doesn't seem like it makes much sense. I know Marvel and DC plays fast and loose with time in their comics, but that stretches things a bit.

Deadpool gets a third ongoing series on page 62 (4 November). That sound you hear is the world ending.

So "Necrosha" is all about old heroes and villains coming back from the dead and menacing the current heroes? Gosh, I wonder where Marvel got that idea ...

Kieron Gillen and Steven Sanders bring us S.W.O.R.D. #1 (page 67; 11 November), which will probably be awesome. As with all new Marvel (and DC) books that don't feature established characters and therefore face a tough road to sales glory, I hope Gillen has planned this as a 12-issue limited series, because that's about all it's going to get, even with the tenuous X-Men connection. I don't mean to be pessimistic, just realistic. If he plans it for a year-long story, it will feel more complete than if Marvel cancels it out from under him, which they will. Or, you know, you could just buy the damned thing!

Psylocke #1 (page 71; 4 November) is the mini-series I should have written, because I love Betsy so very much. Luckily, I can complain about it on the Internet because I'm mean and bitter!

Incognito gets a trade on page 77 (25 November), if you're the kind of person who waits for the trade.

I know Powers has been delayed, so I guess Marvel figured it would be best to relaunch it with a new #1 (page 78; 25 November). I don't believe them when they say it's monthly, though. But that's because I'm mean and bitter (see above).

I buy my Marvel space epics in trade form, so I might have to get War of Kings in hardcover on page 87 (18 November). It's a ton of stuff for 40 bucks. What say the well-informed readers of the blog? Totally worth it?

Deadpool Classic volume 3 is offered on page 107 (25 November). The highlight of this collection, of course, is issue #11, in which Deadpool messes with the 1960s Spider-Man and which Our Dread Lord and Master swears is the greatest single issue in comic book history!!!!!!! (Okay, that may be hyperbole. He likes it, though.)

You know, about two years ago I spent a lot of time tracking down back issues of The 'Nam. So what does Marvel do? Release the first ten issues in trade (page 114; 18 November). Thanks, Marvel! (Of course, this is 30 dollars - I think I actually spent less for the first ten issues than that. So there's that.)

There's a third Fantastic Four Walter Simonson Visionaries trade on page 116 (4 November). It includes the Arthur Adams issues with the "fake" FF, which are hilarious comics. Plus, the other issues are probably good, too. It's Simonson, for crying out loud!

I'm fairly shocked that Marvel got out a third Essential Moon Knight volume, but there it is on page 117 (11 November). The last few issues of the first series, mostly drawn by Kevin Nowlan, are quite good, but the second series (which lasted only six issues) doesn't meet any definition of "essential." It's only 20 dollars, though, so it might be worth checking out if only for the end of the first series.

Let's move on from the Big Four and venture where angels fear to tread: The Back Of The Book!

SLG shows up on page 188 with Doris Danger: Giant Monster Adventures. It's the tale of a photo-journalist who tries to prove the existence of giant monsters but can never get a good photograph. Of course there are bad guys trying to cover up any proof of existence! And it features the "Sphinx-tor." Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!!!

Hey, page 190 gives us Sherlock Ninja from Antarctic Press. I have no interest in this, but I like how he's so cool he can still smoke his pipe while leaping into action:

Archaia collects all of Hybrid Bastards on page 192. This is a pretty good series in which Zeus's weird hybrid children get revenge on their father. It never finished, so it's nice that it's coming out all at once.

Warren Ellis has yet another "superhero-as-god" story on page 205 from Avatar called, appropriately, Supergod. I actually wanted to point this out because I just saw Talk Like Warren Ellis on Twitter, even though I don't follow Twitter and hardly ever go there! (Our own supergod, Chad Nevett, tweeted about it.) "Good evening, hideous orgasm pustules." See? Now everyone can talk like Warren Ellis!

Someone named Tonya Kay shows up in Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose #59 from Broadsword Comics (page 230). Somewhere in South Carolina, Chris Sims pours himself a double of bourbon and wonders if this issue will be the one that breaks him.

I'm not sure if the world was clamoring for an "essential" edition of Obergeist, but it's here on page 249 from Desperado Publishing. It's an odd comic, probably not worth 30 dollars, but certainly interesting.

In case you were foolish enough to miss it the first few times around, Evil Twin Comics has The More Than Complete Action Philosophers! on page 257. With four all-new stories! Damn you, Fred van Lente and Ryan Dunlavey, for making me want this!!!!

Demons of Sherwood shows up on page 271 from IDW. It's 12 years after Robin Hood restored King Richard to his throne, but things haven't been going well for him. Now he has to rescue Maid Marian all over again! It sounds fun, and it features Bo Hampton on art. I can forgive the twisting of the historical record (the Inquisition didn't exist until, at the very least, the late 1220s, much later than the events in this book could possibly occur) if the story is good.

Joe Sacco is back with one of those books that make lazy people like me feel bad that they're not doing more to alleviate suffering the world, Footnotes in Gaza (from Metropolitan Books, page 278), about a massacre of Palestinians by Israeli soldiers in 1956. I've never read a Sacco book, actually. Maybe I'll have to start with this one.

The Tick returns on page 280 from New England Comics. I don't know the writer, Benito Cereno, but Les McClaine draws it, so you know it'll look keen!

All the one-shot issues from Wasteland get collected in their own trade on page 281 from Oni Press. These are, of course, awesome. And only 14 dollars!

Radical has the collected edition of Hotwire: Requiem for the Dead on page 286. I don't know if the last issue ever came out, but the first three issues were pretty darned cool, and although 20 dollars might sound steep for four issues, apparently this has a bunch of extra stuff as well.

There's a new Tank Girl series on page 288 from Titan Publishing by Tank Girl creator Alan Martin. I've never been that interested in Tank Girl, but I do like that the cover promises "Now with added swearing!"

12-Gauge Comics on page 296 brings us Luke McBain #1 by David Tischman and Kody Chamberlain (who I met, briefly, in San Diego, and who seems like the perfect artist for this book, personality-wise). I don't have much interest in this, but I was wondering why disparate people seem to think the last name "McBain" sounds tough. What is it about the name? It's rather weird.

With that enigmatic query hanging in your brains, it's time once again to close our copy of Previews. And, as always, I implore you to explore the dark edges of the comics universe. No, there might not be a comic with a giant dude with a gaping chest wound and a sickle fashioned from a black lantern, but that's just a typical Saturday night for me, so I like to find something different! Fear not the Previews!

24 Comments

• At August 29, 2009, Mecha-Shiva wrote:

  "The Tick returns on page 280 from New England Comics. I don't know the writer, Benito Cereno, but Les McClaine ...

• At August 29, 2009, Thok wrote:

  You can buy Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog from iTunes for 7.99, if you really feel bad about not seeing ...

• At August 29, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Man, I wish I had Tales from the Bully Pulpit. Stupid out-of-print comics!

• At August 29, 2009, Pedro Bouça wrote:

  Dark Horse has the very bad habit of continuing to solicit VERY late manga series like they were coming out ...

• At August 29, 2009, Mysterious Stranger wrote:

  You forgot to mention the other half of the awesomeness of Dr. Horrible... Nathan Fillion. If it were biologically ...

• At August 29, 2009, Colby wrote:

  Actually, i'm pretty sure dr. Horrible is on hulu still. And as a dedicated whedonite, I am required by law ...

• At August 29, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  You know me too well, Burgas. But I probably won't buy that comic.

  You should watch Dr. Horrible, though. I mean, ...

• At August 29, 2009, Cass wrote:

  The face-ectomy of Bushman takes place in flashbacks at the beginning of the Moon Knight series, we never actually watch ...

• At August 29, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  I was thinking that was true, Cass, but I didn't go back and check it. It didn't seem to ...

• At August 29, 2009, Cass wrote:

  Well, you have to admit, "Years ago, Moon Knight..." is a lot more grabbing than "One or so years ago, ...

• At August 29, 2009, Ron wrote:

  The lantern rings are not free for the retailers and cost $8 a bag., and Blackest Night #5, Adventure Comics ...

• At August 29, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Wow, Ron, that's interesting to know. I just overheard my retailer talking about them, and that's what he believed. ...

• At August 29, 2009, Greg Hatcher wrote:

  Well, you certainly can watch Dr. Horrible for free on Hulu if you like, but if you shell out for ...

• At August 29, 2009, TimCallahan wrote:

  Vengeance of Moon Knight must take place in the FUTURE! Can your mind wrap around awesomness that magnificent, Burgas!?!? The ...

• At August 29, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Dang, that WOULD be awesome, sir. I don't think I could handle that!!!!

• At August 29, 2009, Dan Felty wrote:

  Definitely go read all the Joe Sacco books you can find right away! It's not like you need to ...

• At August 30, 2009, Lawrence wrote:

  "So "Necrosha" is all about old heroes and villains coming back from the dead and menacing the current heroes? Gosh, ...

• At August 30, 2009, Stefan wrote:

  I'm so psyched Scott Ian is going to be writing a comic book. He wrote some fantastic songs and ...

• At August 30, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  I just overheard my retailer talking about them, and that's what he believed. I wonder if he had checked it ...

• At August 30, 2009, Andrew wrote:

  I'm really looking forward to both Image United and Haunt - probably moreso than anything else in years.

  Both written by ...

• At August 31, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  Both written by Kirkman - isn't that enough to get the haterZ on board?

  Not really - Kirkman has shown, most ...

• At August 31, 2009, The Cosh wrote:

  You are correct, that Hellblazer cover is rad to the power of sick!

• At August 31, 2009, Neal K wrote:

  I noticed the "for reelz" line in the Dark Avengers solicits and cringed. Unless Marvel is having some sort ...

• At August 31, 2009, Andrew Collins wrote:

  I'll recommend Demons Of Sherwood to you, Greg. I read it over at ComicMix's website and thoroughly enjoyed it. It ...

There's a lot to like about this three-issue arc of the bigger Grant Morrison story in Batman and Robin, and it's interesting that the God of All Comics is treating this like a longer series, setting up the next arc at the end of this tale and linking it to Professor Pyg's reign of terror. It makes the main story here feel a bit rushed, as Pyg ends up not being a very tough villain at all (of course, he's only locked up at the end, so I'm sure G-Mozz has plans for him), but it also helps make this feel more like an ongoing and not a collection of short arcs. He's helped, of course, by Quitely, who designs dazzling fight scenes and, no matter what you say about his figures, does a wonderful job with making each panel a snapshot of the action. He does a nice job making the characters move, even if his art isn't slick and suggestive of movement and he doesn't use motion lines and other tricks a lot of artists use. I'm interested to see how much of a drop-off we'll get with Tan taking over next arc. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's not too much of one.

Morrison, as usual, has some interesting ideas that he doesn't do enough with. It's nice that we get little about Pyg and who he is, but at the same time, it's frustrating that he's so underdeveloped. Plus, if we're not going to get much about the villain, his scheme should be a bit more menacing, and although the idea of his scheme is neat, the GoAC doesn't really do enough with it. Again, Pyg is not dead at the end of the story, and he seems ready for a comeback, but that means that this three-issue arc is just set-up, and in a world where writers are slowly moving away from decompression (with, ironically, Morrison at the forefront), this smacks of padding.

I'm certainly excited about the series, even with a lesser artist taking over, but Morrison occasionally has difficulties balancing the reality of a single-issue story with his vision of a grander arc. That's in evidence here. But Morrison, as always, is more interesting even when he's not perfect than most writers, so this series continues to be a fine read.

Buck Rogers #3 ("Future Shock Part Three: Ghosts of Mars") by Scott Beatty (writer), Carlos Rafael (artist), Carlos Lopez (colorist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $3.50, 22 pgs, FC, Dynamite Entertainment.

There's nothing crazily awesome in this issue of Buck Rogers, but Beatty continues to tell a good, solid science fiction story with a nice modern edge but plenty of 1930s vibe to it, like the suits Buck and Wilma are wearing while they're floating in space and the saucer they use to escape the big space ship. There's even some ray gun usage, which is nice. It's cool that Beatty is tying Buck's arrival in the future in with those he left behind in the past, and the ending is a nice little cliffhanger, and the series is a fine read, but there's nothing in this particular issue that makes you shout "Fuck Yeah!" That's okay, though - it's turning into a nifty series, and there's no reason for you to skip it!

Detective Comics #856 ("Elegy Part 3: Affettuoso"/"Pipeline Chapter One Part Three") by Greg Rucka (writer), J. H. Williams III (artist, "Elegy"), Cully Hamner (artist, "Pipeline"), Dave Stewart (colorist, "Elegy"), Laura Martin (colorist, "Pipeline"), Todd Klein (letterer, "Elegy"), and Jared K. Fletcher (letterer, "Pipeline"). $3.99, 30 pgs, FC, DC.

You know, I keep waiting for Rucka's story to get better, and it's just not. It's really frustrating, because Williams is so good, and I love the attention to detail, like how Maggie doesn't have her hand on Kate's ass but the placement of the musical note makes it look like she does, but the story is just dull. "Alice" finally does something evil, which is nice, I guess, but the supernatural elements of the book don't work terribly well. It turns this into too much of a superhero book, but it's obvious that Rucka doesn't really want to write a superhero book, and he can't reconcile this. I hate to compare it to that other Batman book above, but consider Professor Pyg, a creepy villain who does horrible things. Morrison keeps everything in the realm of possibility, so although Pyg and his minions are bizarre, they're not supernatural, and it helps, ironically, make the story more believable. Alice is in the same vein, but then Rucka brings in the werewolves and stuff, and it makes it strangely unbelievable. I know, complaining about unbelievability in a comic starring Batwoman is a silly thing to say, but that's the way it is. Rucka has balanced costumed heroes with his natural inclination toward crime fiction in the past, but in this story so far, it's tilting the wrong way, and the crime fiction aspect is getting overwhelmed. And he's not doing anything different with The Question story, either. At least there aren't any werewolves, but it's just Renee punching people. Yawn.

This arc has one more issue, I think, even though Williams is supposed to be on 'Tec for a while after that. I honestly don't know if I'm going to continue after the resolution of this story, even if Williams makes it purty. I really liked Rucka's work on Detective back in the day, but this just isn't working too well. It's a shame.

Dynamo 5 #24 by Jay Faerber (writer), Mahmud A. Asrar (artist), Ron Riley (colorist), and Charles Pritchett (letterer). $3.50, 21 pgs, FC, Image.

So next issue is Asrar's last issue on Dynamo 5. That's depressing but not terribly surprising, as he's getting more and more work for companies that actually pay money to artists. Plus, the book is going on hiatus after next issue, which is more depressing news. I'm sure Faerber will bring it back, but it's still vexing. This is one of the best superhero comics out there right now, and I hope that it can come back strong. But will a new artist be as interested in drawing pin-ups of Bridget? That's all that matters!!!!!

By the way, this issue rocks. Duh. Synergy takes out the team, we learn more about Father Gideon and his revelation from last issue, and Gage and Spencer have an uncomfortable (at least to Gage) conversation. Faerber does his usual excellent job moving everything along, giving us plenty of action, some nice character development (not only with Gage and Spencer, but Bridget as well), and Asrar draws the hell out of it. I don't know which Marvel book he's going off to work on, but I hope it's something I want to buy!

Check out the trades of this series if you haven't yet. Then you can be caught up when it returns!

Fantastic Four #570 ("Solve Everything Part One") by Jonathan Hickman (writer), Dale Eaglesham (artist), Paul Mounts (colorist), and Rus Wooton (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

I have not bought an issue of Fantastic Four since 1990, when I bought issues #347-349, the famous Simonson/Adams Spider-Man/Wolverine/Hulk/Ghost Rider FF, and I only bought those because I was a sucker for Art Adams's art. Those remain the only Fantastic Four single issues I've ever bought, even though I went back and got some of the Lee/Kirby Essential volumes (and I really ought to get more of those) and the John Byrne trades. Even Mark Waid and Mike Wieringo starting on FF didn't make me go get an issue, even though I later bought those in trade, as well. I didn't even buy it when Sue went all slutty! And yet, here I am, buying an issue of Fantastic Four. That's just how damned good The Nightly News was.

Yes, Hickman's run begins here, and based on his non-Marvel work, I'm giving it a try. It doesn't hurt that Eaglesham is finally working with a writer I want to read (okay, so I like Simone, but when he worked with her, it was in the middle of that Infinite Crisis mess, and did I really want to dive into that?), and he does strong work here. Of all the superhero books out there, Fantastic Four seems to demand a "classic" feel to it, and Eaglesham does that here, even keeping the look consistent with Hitch's recent work (at least from what I saw of Hitch's work on the book; I'm assuming it's because of Mounts, because didn't he color Hitch's work?). It's just strong, solid superhero storytelling, and it's good to see.

Hickman resists beginning his run with "Everything you ever knew is wrong!" histrionics, which is fine with me. I might not love Nu-World (in fact, from what I read of it, it's one of the most bone-headed ideas in a long time), but at least Hickman acknowledges it (and, if solicitations are to be believed, he's using it quite a bit). I'm not entirely sold on how Valeria speaks (even if she's a genius at three years old, it would be nice if she didn't speak exactly like a smart adult, but like a genius three-year-old), but it's apparently not something that Hickman came up with. And the central idea, that of the Bridge that allows Reed to view alternate timelines to witness outcomes when he made different decisions, is also not Hickman's (at least I assume so). So that's kind of neat. Hickman, of course, uses this as a springboard to his own story, in which Reed decides to, well, solve everything. The idea of a cross-dimensional society of Reeds is pretty neat, especially because, I'm sorry, Reed always strikes me as so arrogant that the only company he'd want to keep is his own (I'm very aware that that's not how many, many writers have written him, but it always seems to me an essential part of his character; he and Doom are so similar, and only a few circumstances have prevented Reed from becoming a despot like Doom is). And it's neat that the Wizard's appearance is obviously not a throwaway battle just to get us into the story but will (most likely) have serious consequences down the road. That's pretty keen.

I will say that Marvel does something annoying in this comic, and it's easily fixable. There's a recap page, then two pages of flashback to Reed's childhood. Then we arrive in the present, with the FF fighting one of the Wizard's machines. It's very weird, because you turn the page from the flashback (the two pages of which face each other) and then we get the left side of the book showing the entire team attacking the robot while the right side of the page has an advertisement for what I can only assume are Marvel jammies. Because one side of the page shows the actual comic and it's a big old messy fight scene and the other side of the page shows a bunch of Marvel heroes and villains glaring at the reader (even the heroes are glaring, because Marvel jammies are deadly freakin' serious!), it feels almost like the advert is part of the book. If ever a scene screamed "double-page spread," it's the first time we see the team in action in a comic with a new writer and artist, and long-time comic book readers who read the recap and then the first two flashback pages would expect to turn the page and see a big ol' double-page spread (well, I expected it, and I'm a long-time comic book reader, but your mileage may vary). So the fact that the fight is crammed onto one page (granted, it spills over onto the next few pages, but still) is jarring, especially because you don't immediately recognize the next page as an ad. The advertisement could easily appear elsewhere in the book (I wouldn't dare suggest Marvel give us one more page of story and one less advertisement, because that would be insane!), so I'm not sure why it appears here. It doesn't ruin the book, of course, but it certainly messes up the grandeur of the opening battle of the book, which is supposed to set the tone for the issue. I'll shut up now.

Hickman/Eaglesham on Fantastic Four = good stuff. It's not quite as subversive as Hickman's Image work, but that's okay. It's still a cool issue that promises some cool issues to come!

Gotham City Sirens #3 ("Riddle Me This!") by Scott Lobdell (writer), Guillem March (artist/colorist), and Travis Lanham (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC.

I wasn't going to get this, because I haven't been getting the series, despite March's nice cheesecakey art and my general enjoyment of Dini's writing, but I did get this one. Why? Well, Scott Lobdell wrote it (which is odd given that it's only the third issue and there's already a guest writer), and I have a soft spot in my heart for Lobdell because of his early Uncanny X-Men work (even though it's really not that good, but I dug it back in the day), and I read over on Caleb's blog that it was a weird, standalone issue starring the Riddler, and that the "Sirens" appear in a grand total of four panels in this comic (on page 4) and the rest of the issue is devoted to a murder mystery in which Edward Nigma jousts with Dick Grayson to find the killer. As Dini's shift of the Riddler from bad guy to consulting detective is one of the best ideas to come out of DC this decade and when I write for DC - give me a call, Danny D! - I'm going to write a mini-series starring Mr. Nigma pursuing a murderer, I knew I had to get it. So I did.

It's quite a good issue. Lobdell certainly doesn't "play fair" with the mystery, but I didn't really expect him to. It's a nice look at how Nigma feels about his new life and whether he can make it work and how he can't escape his past. We also get to see him match wits with Dick, who he knows isn't Batman, and even get out ahead of the new hero a bit. Dick even admits that he's not as smart as Edward, which is kind of keen. A lot of the exposition doesn't make a whole lot of sense, unless I'm just that stupid (I've gone over it more than once and still can't figure it out), but it's less about the mystery (which, don't get me wrong, is kind of clever, but the clues just don't fit together completely) and more about the Riddler and how he wants to make his change of career work. I really, really hope DC never makes him a villain again. He's infinitely more interesting as a detective.

Oh, and March can draw really well. I mean, the women are hot, of course, but he has a nice bold style that grabs you and pulls you into the book. He also does a good job laying the book out (speaking of "laying," Nigma uses it when he means "lying," which bugged me) that packs a lot into the panels but never confuses the reader. I'm sure March will quickly reach a status where he only does covers, so it's nice to see his interior work before that happens.

This is a pretty good standalone issue. If you've been avoiding the book, give it a look. You have no obligation to get the next one if you don't want to!

I Am Legion #5 (of 6) ("The Three Monkeys") by Fabien Nury (writer), John Cassaday (artist), Laura Martin (colorist), Justin Kelly (translator), and Crank! (letterer). $3.50, 30 pgs, FC, Devil's Due/Humanoids.

You know, I honestly have no idea what's going on anymore in this series. I'm buying it for the Cassaday art, of course, and the concept remains cool, but what with all the body-switching and possessing and Nazis changing sides and Nazis fighting amongst themselves and commandos going undercover as Nazis, I'm completely lost. I'm still going to get the sixth issue, of course, and maybe when I sit down and read it in a more leisurely fashion (and with a notepad handy), I'll be able to figure it out. I might not be very bright, or Nury might not be a very good writer, or the translation might stink. As usual, I'll go with option A.

But damn, this book sure looks beautiful.

The Incredible Hercules #133 ("Road of Trials") by Fred van Lente (writer), Greg Pak (writer), Rodney Buchemi (artist), Emily Warren (colorist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Okay, first of all, I love that cover design. It looks old-school without actually being old-school. Well done!

Second, van Lente and Pak do a nice job recapping their run so far on the book, incorporating it into Amadeus's journey to find his sister without beating us over the head with it. Considering that this title's recap pages are often more entertaining than your average DC superhero book, that's not surprising.

Finally, of course, we get the usual excellent story about these characters, even if Hercules doesn't appear (except in flashback and in one typically hilarious fantasy panel). Amadeus goes to Excello, where he won the quiz that led to his family's death, and Agent Sexton shows up to exposit that something is creepy about the town and the company that built the town. Amadeus spouts some pseudo-science in the Mighty Marvel Manner (using, naturally, a real-life physicist as his inspiration) and it all leads to a nifty cliffhanger ending. There's plenty of humor, there's some good action, there's a little bit of creepiness ... as usual, it all adds up to a fantastic comic book! Plus, soon it will have an Agents of Atlas back-up feature (and yes, I'm extremely grumpy that that book is being cancelled, but if it must be a back-up, at least it's a back-up in this book), so there will be even more concentrated awesome in this title!

Buchemi is a decent artist, and the flashbacks in this book are very nice. His "present" work is a bit slicker and less impressive, but he gets the job done. He gets a bit stronger as the issue goes along, finishing with a nice flourish in the brief action scene and then giving us a very nice final splash page. I still wish cover artist Rafael Albuquerque would do the interiors (has Albuquerque already become so exclusive that he's joined the ranks of those artists who no longer need to do interiors?), but that's the way it is. That's a keen cover, though, isn't it?

And hey! even that soulless husk Chad Nevett thought this was a pretty good issue! He's buying his soul back one issue of The Incredible Hercules at a time! His girlfriend will be so happy.

Madame Xanadu #14 ("Exodus Noir Part Four: Sins of the Fathers") by Matt Wagner (writer), Michael Wm. Kaluta (artist), Dave Stewart (colorist), and Jared K. Fletcher (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

One thing I never get used to in popular entertainment is how writers write their characters as they believe the world should be, and not the way the world is. Even good writers, like Matt Wagner, fall into this trap, and it's kind of annoying. I've been harping on this with regard to Madame Xanadu and her idiocy of openly living with and screwing another woman in 1493 Spain, perhaps the most intolerant regime ever to grace God's green Earth, and yet whining that those mean old Inquisitors just can't see how lovely their love is! Really, Madame Xanadu? You've been alive for a thousand years and you don't realize that maybe, just maybe, you need to be careful about doing stuff that narrow-minded people in power don't like? It's annoying because these characters are filtered through a modern sensibility, and so we're supposed to be on Madame Xanadu's side (why can't those jerky priests just let them live in love?), and there's no drama if Madame Xanadu uses her brain and tries to keep her relationship with Marisol a secret, like she would do (and, interestingly enough, like the other characters who hide their religion if not their sexual orientation do in this very issue). Actually, it might be more dramatic if they had tried to hide their relationship and the Inquisition still found out, because then the reader (well, this reader) wouldn't think stuff like, "Well, of COURSE they found out, ya ignoramus! You might as well have sashayed into the church french-kissing! Sheesh!" Instead of caring about Marisol at the end of this issue, when the Inquisition catches up to her, I keep thinking, "Marisol, sweetie, you should have ditched that crazy immortal chick when you had the chance!" But that's just me.

Oh, and Wesley Dodds shows up in this issue. Wagner writes him pretty well. I think DC should give him a series starring the Golden Age Sandman. I bet that would sell like gangbusters!

Rex Mundi #19 ("Exodus/Daughters of the Grail") by Arvid Nelson (writer/letterer) and Juan Ferreyra (artist/colorist). $2.99, 28 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

One of the finest comic series this decade comes to an end (did I just write that? yes I fucking did!), and it's bittersweet, of course. I'll miss it, but it's so cool that Nelson was able to tell his entire epic and complete it. I'll also miss Ferreyra's art - I don't know what he's doing next, but I'll be checking it out.

Of course, it couldn't possibly match my expectations, could it? Nelson has been building to this issue the entire time, of course, but really for about two years, so there's no way it could be as awesome as what I've built up in my mind, right? Well, it comes close. It's a better ending than 100 Bullets, for instance. It's the final showdown between Julien and Lorraine, and it ends about as you would expect, but Ferreyra is absolutely dynamite on this issue - the fight is really enthralling, and the secondary action, in which the Muslims slaves rescue their women from Lorraine's castle, is very cool and adds another nifty layer of the supernatural to the story, one which works in the context of what has come before. It's a breathtaking issue, and Nelson is wise enough to give us just enough narration without going too far. Throughout the series, his biggest strength has been making sure he doesn't overwrite, which sounds like an insult but really isn't. In comics, a good writer knows how to blend the prose with the art, and Nelson has always done that well, and he does so here.

The only weird thing about the issue is that it ends oddly, as if Nelson had maybe another page or two but didn't include it. We get a wrap-up, true, and it ends in an interesting way, but the reason it's weird is because there's not a sense of complete closure. This is the end of a 38-issue epic, and it's as if a giant epic movie ended in the middle of a conversation. There aren't really any loose ends (well, there are, but they're deliberately left hanging just for fun), so I don't have a problem with the fact of the ending, just the way in which Nelson writes the final two pages. It's very weird.

Despite that, this is still a wonderful ending to a wonderful series. It started as a creepy murder mystery that quickly turned into a historical epic about fascism, religious freedom, and what it means to have faith. As much as I liked EricJ on art, Ferreyra really took it to a new level, and if you have a chance to look at any of his work on this title, you should, because it will blow you away. Like Asrar, I really hope Ferreyra does a high-profile gig and knocks it out of the park, because then others will see how astonishing his work is. Of course, if he just keeps doing smaller stuff, that's cool too, because then I won't have to deal with him doing some crappy Titans book!

Let's hope the Rex Mundi movie does huge box office and Dark Horse releases a GIANT-SIZED OMNIBUS. I would snap that up in a heartbeat! In the meantime, if you haven't been following this series, get the trades! You don't hate good comics, do you? DO YOU?????

Scalped #31 ("The Gnawing Part Two of Five") by Jason Aaron (writer), R. M. Guéra (artist), Giulia Brusco (colorist), Trish Mulvihill (colorist), and Steve Wands (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

After the symphony of swearing last issue, Aaron dials it down just a tad, but there's still plenty of blue language, if you like that sort of thing. As usual with arcs, the first issue gets things off to a bang, and in this second issue, everyone is reacting to what just happened, i.e., Red Crow killing someone in front of a bunch of witnesses, which is what Agent Nitz wants, of course. Dashiell wants it too, but that doesn't mean figuring out how to prosecute Red Crow is going to be easy, especially as Bad Horse's heroin habit is an open secret. And, of course, there's still Catcher running around, and Diesel is getting out of prison, and he figures it's time to pay a visit to Carol, who appears incapable of putting on clothes. Just the usual insanity on the rez!

This is a less compelling single issue of Scalped, but Aaron has to ease up on the throttle occasionally, and we get a lot of angles that will, of course, lead to a gigantic clusterfuck down the road. By now, Aaron has figured out how to twist the screws on these characters, and he's doing it with relish. Who will live? Who will die? Will Carol ever put on clothes? We don't know, but it's certainly fun finding out!

By the way, I love Bearded Dude Who Cleans Up Blood. He's just doing his thing, cleaning up blood. Nitz shouldn't yell at him, man! I have a feeling BDWCUB will be very important down the line. Or maybe not. He's still awesome.

Secret Warriors #7 by Jonathan Hickman (writer), Alessandro Vitti (artist), Sunny Gho (colorist), and Dave Lanphear (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Just when I was ready to embrace Hickman's Nick Fury series with annoying new superheroes who only detract a bit from the awesomeness that is Nick Fury, he (Hickman, that is, not Nick Fury, because Nick Fury is, you know, fictional) does something that might be unbelievably stupid or might be unbelievably awesome. When I first beheld it, I almost yelled "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" (and when a comic book makes me want to yell, it's doing something right, because at least that means I'm emotionally invested), but then, when I thought about it, might work in a "so-idiotic-it-might-fuckin'-rock" kind of way. You know, like Geoff Johns's comics!*

Anyway, the rest of the issue is pretty decent, even if it stars too much of the "Secret Warriors" of the title and not enough of the "Nick Fury: Agent of Nothing" part of the title (which is gone on this cover; I guess each arc will get its name on the cover, although I have a feeling Marvel took "Agent of Nothing" off the cover because they knew it was a much awesomer title than "Secret Warriors" and didn't want readers to keep being reminded that a much better title was sharing the cover with a weaker title ... but that's just me) - Nick sends his little minions to get supplies for Dum Dum and all the agents he recruited last issue, and Natasha Romanov and Songbird "accidentally" (or not?) lure Nick into a trap. Baron von Strucker asks Norman Osborn for help with killing Fury, which leads to a nice exchange between the two evil, evil men (I will point out that I'm sad that Fenris is dead; when I write Uncanny X-Men - give me a call, Joey Q! - I'll have to resurrect them). Vitti does a pretty good job on the art - it's the Marvel house style, but I kind of like Marvel house style, so I don't mind - although, ironically, his Natasha most certainly does not look "too hot not to help," as Slade puts it. She kind of looks like the lead singer of a boy band. Maybe that's what Slade is into?

I only made up my mind to keep reading this after last issue, and this issue rewards that a bit. It's a nice way to jump off from the first six issues, but it also stands on its own as the beginning of a new arc. Still, that scene under the auto shop ... Discuss the pros and cons below! Without spoiling it at all! You can do that, right?

* Sorry. That was low.

Sherlock Holmes #4 ("The Trial of Sherlock Holmes Part Four: Brought to Justice") by Leah Moore and John Reppion (writers), Aaron Campbell (artist), Tony Aviña (colorist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $3.50, 22 pgs, FC, Dynamite Entertainment.

This series is coming together nicely, with Holmes apparently several steps ahead of everyone else, like he always is, and the rest of us wondering what he's up to. Everything is pointing toward a Moriarty appearance (I can't recall if we've already had a Moriarty reference in the series), which would be a bit disappointing, as everyone who writes their own Holmes fanfiction seems to use Moriarty when Conan Doyle didn't use him all that much (in much the same way he didn't use Irene Adler all that much, but that didn't stop Guy Ritchie from casting Rachel McAdams to play her). But I can live with it, I guess. As usual, there's not much to say about this - it's moving along, it looks pretty good, and Moore and Reppion are doing a good job giving us plenty of clues without giving too much away. We'll see how they pull it together in the final issue!

(I will say that the pull quotes on the back of this issue make me sad. The first one is by a "former CBS and CNN correspondent and investigative reporter" who is also a writer, yet it features "it's" instead of "its" and "hardcore" is spelled wrong. That means either a reporter and writer got it wrong, or Dynamite's editors got it wrong. I fear for written English. I really do.)

The Unknown #4 (of 4) by Mark Waid (writer), Minck Oosterveer (artist), Fellipe Martins (colorist), Renato Faccini (colorist), Andres Lozano (colorist), and Marshall Dillon (letterer). $3.99, 22 pgs, FC, Boom! Studios.

Things I really like about The Unknown:
1. Oosterveer's art is fantastic. His women are cheesecakey without being too obnoxiously slutty, and he has a nice sense of the creepy.
2. Waid's characterization. Catherine and James have nice chemistry together.
3. The idea of Catherine being the world's greatest detective. As with this story, it opens up a lot of interesting plots, mainly because it's not surprising she'd be bored with regular cases.

Things that are kind of off about The Unknown:
1. Man, that's a weird way to end the arc. I'll 'splain.

This series is "continuing" next month with a new case in a new mini-series, even though there's no reason for it to be classified as a completely separate mini-series. That doesn't bother me. Waid, however, seemed to lose interest in this case midway through last issue, and this issue just wraps it up almost off-panel. This issue is much more concerned with Catherine's state of mind regarding her attitude toward the afterlife, which gets shaken a bit here, and Waid doing a nice job to get her back on her game. It's as if the case was an afterthought to Catherine's brain tumor, which needs to be dealt with, and the relationship between Catherine and James, which deepens in this issue but leaves room for more growth. It's nice to see Waid developing the characters, but it feels like he completely abandons the case (oh, sure, the bad guy gets his comeuppance, but it still feels a bit tacked on), which was kind of neat. He sets up the next case in this issue (which, without checking, I believe starts in the same place as The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service did), and I'm looking forward to it, but I hope he balances the nice character work with, you know, some mysteries that get solved. And I hope Oosterveer is in this for the long haul!

Unknown Soldier #11 ("Easy Kill Chapter Four") by Joshua Dysart (writer), Alberto Ponticelli (artist), Oscar Celestini (colorist), and Clem Robins (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

Dysart is getting some global press about Unknown Soldier, which is kind of neat. There's also at least one Ugandan blogger who digs the book, which is neat as well. I'm not saying that just because the people about whom the book is written like it, so should you, but it's kind of cool that Dysart has put so much effort into getting at least the misc-en-scene correct.

This continues to be a gripping read, as Moses heads to Kampala to save Margaret Wells, the actress he was going to kill until he changed his mind but who's still in danger from the people who wanted Moses to kill her in the first place. So that's the plot. However, this issue focuses on Sera, Moses's wife, who's putting together the benefit dinner which Margaret Wells will attend. She learns that Moses had a white fiancée who is coming to Uganda for the benefit, and she doesn't quite know how to process that. It's very interesting that as Moses begins to know more about himself, he becomes more "unknown" to his wife, and not in the way we expect (the fact that he hears voices telling him how to kill, for instance, which might surprise Sera). Dysart does some very nice writing in this, showing again that as he continues to ease off on the obvious politics of the first arc, the book gets stronger because the political reality of the country comes more into focus. Dysart, for instance, introduces a character who may or may not show up again. He's an older white man who obviously does business in Uganda, and in just a few panels, and without doing anything about the character's politics, we get a sense of this man and his relationship to the country. We have met Moses's ex-fiancée before, and we know she's posing a bit in this book, but even without knowing that, we get a sense of it from the way Dysart presents her (which is, to be fair, largely positive). It's more subtle than it was earlier in the book, but it makes the experience of reading the comic much better.

As usual, Ponticelli does a nice job with the art. There's one absolutely terrifying panel, but it's not what you expect: it's of Jack Howl, post-vomiting, and he looks like he could kill everyone in the world, and it's freaky. There's also a wonderful sad panel of Moses, in pain and lost, not knowing if he can atone for his sins. Ponticelli continues to create this world with Dysart, and it's nice to see that they have good synergy together.

Unknown Soldier keeps getting better. Maybe its higher profile will mean better sales. That would be nice!

Wednesday Comics #8 (of 12) by people more talented than you are! $3.99, 15 pgs, DC.

Hey, Hal Jordan! Can you suggest an unusual spice that one wouldn't necessarily think of to garnish this giant lobster creature I just caught off the coast of Maine?

Thanks, Hal!

So many questions about issue #8 ...

Why is Gotham Today being sold in the Gotham Examiner box?
Does Gotham City have littering laws, and does Commissioner Gordon feel he is above them? (Maybe this explains why Gotham is such a hole - if the commissioner doesn't follow the laws, why should the Joker?)
Didn't Kamandi live in New York, and if so, what's he doing in Mississippi?
Why is Superman still whining even while he's thinking?
Who knew ghosts wore panties?
Why doesn't Deadman see that those women are totally evil, as it's fairly obvious?
So Dillon didn't turn into that thing, but was encased by it? Icky.
How cool is Gaiman for referencing Strontium Dog?
Is Java too awesome to be contained within the confines of the strip?
I'm sorry, I just can't stand the Titans strip. I'm sure Berganza and Galloway are wonderful people, but it's just no good at all.
How neat is Pope's use of narration to obscure what Alanna says to Zotar?
Don't you just want to hug Zotar and tell him it will be all right?
How cool is the inside of Doctor Mid-Nite's refrigerator?
Did you notice that Gray and Palmiotti make a reference to The Last Resort, their IDW mini-series?
Why do metas need their own cookbook?
Can I have Amanda Conner's babies?
How many times has Chemo been cracked? Shouldn't someone come up with a better containment unit for him?
Why does Fenris the wolf look like a giant rat?
Did you think, when you started reading this post, that I would reference two different beings named Fenris?
Why hasn't Rock fucking killed anyone yet??????
Flash: What the hell?
Are those Morgaine's natural eyebrows, or does she spend hours in front of the mirror penciling them on?
Doesn't striking with the spellsword of lust usually get teenaged boys and girls into hot water?
Why doesn't Aquaman do something with the water inside the bodies of the Justice Leaguers to fuck them up? Doesn't he get tired of getting dissed?

I have no answers for you, fellow travelers. I have no answers!!!!!!!

Zero Killer #4 (of 6) ("L'il Rascals") by Arvid Nelson (writer), Matt Camp (artist), and Dave Stewart (colorist). $2.99, 24 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

I sort of already reviewed this, even though it wasn't specifically for the third issue, but the mini-series as a whole. I will say that, according to the backmatter, Matt Camp is the bald dude on the cover with the word "tested" written on his severed head. That's pretty awesome.

Okay, that's all for this week. My mother, who is visiting this week (my daughter's seventh birthday is Sunday, so my mom came for the party), was surprised by the sheer number of comics I bought. I didn't have the heart to tell her that this is a fairly normal week for me.

I bought a certain trade paperback this week, one that features what might be the greatest pull quote in the history of pull quotes:

You don't get anything if you know what trade this is, but I will be fairly impressed.

I was a bit proud that no one got last week's totally random lyrics, although I suspect everyone knew that they were from Kelly Clarkson's tune "I Do Not Hook Up" but were too ashamed to admit they knew. Come on, people, rock out with Ms. Clarkson! You know you want to! Let's check out some new totally random lyrics. Fret not, manly men can admit to knowing these!

"In your single-roomed flat in a courtyard building
You sit alone just like a broken toy
Where's your mother, where's your lover
and where are the children
Are you a man or still a boy?
Who left you behind, or did you run
From the crush of so many options?
Now you know the special despair of the man
Discussed, debated and offered for adoption"

Finally, Cronin should totally buy this house. I'm sure he has the money lying around somewhere!

35 Comments

• At August 27, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  You bought twice as many comics in one week as I do in your average month, these days.

  But when I ...

• At August 27, 2009, Kevin wrote:

  God bless you, you Buckaroo Banzai-quoting nerd.

• At August 27, 2009, Michael P. wrote:

  Have you not been reading the words in the Kamandi strip? He's been on a road trip almost the whole ...

• At August 27, 2009, Brian Cronin wrote:

  Hickman came up with the alternate timelines idea in his lead-in mini-series to his FF run, Dark Reign: FF, which ...

• At August 27, 2009, Stefan wrote:

  Hickman did actually create The Bridge, during FF: Dark Reign, and at the end of that we saw just silhouettes ...

• At August 27, 2009, acespot wrote:

  i NEED to know which title featured that pull quote.

  i.

  must.

  have.

  it.

• At August 27, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  When did Sue go slutty in FF?

  I think I had one once where Reed was dead and she was doing ...

• At August 28, 2009, Matt k wrote:

  I had no idea AoA was canceled. The up shot is now I have a better reason to pick ...

• At August 28, 2009, alastair wrote:

  I though i had seen a council of alternate reed's before maybe in waids run.

• At August 28, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Michael: I know Kamandi's been moving around, but I haven't been getting the sense that he was ranging so far ...

• At August 28, 2009, Matt K wrote:

  ah, Killer of Demons. I should actually be getting that trade in on Monday. That is an awesome ...

• At August 28, 2009, Brian wrote:

  was that the outfit with the see-through 4 where a 2 should have been?

  BTW, excellent review of Madame Xanadu. ...

• At August 28, 2009, ticknart wrote:

  Hey, lets be fair, The Incredible Hercules's recap page is also more entertaining than your average Marvel superhero book, too.

• At August 28, 2009, Greg Manuel wrote:

  "Come on, people, rock out with Ms. Clarkson! You know you want to!"

  Oh absolutely - I'm a big fan of ...

• At August 28, 2009, DS wrote:

  Reed's Bridge WAS Hickman's idea but, rather ironically, the wish to "solve everything" wasn't and, I believe, first appeared during ...

• At August 28, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  acespot: All right, it's Killer of Demons by Chris Yost and Scott Wegener. Looks groovy.

  Aha! I figured it was Scott ...

• At August 28, 2009, Stefan wrote:

  DS - I think the phrase "Solve Everything" is Hickman's indeed. He's following up a tendency in recent years ...

• At August 28, 2009, Brian Cronin wrote:

  Reed's Bridge WAS Hickman's idea but, rather ironically, the wish to "solve everything" wasn't and, I believe, first appeared during ...

• At August 28, 2009, Stefan wrote:

  Matt K - I heard in some panel interview somewhere that Jeff Parker was busy "writing back-ups for AoA before ...

• At August 28, 2009, Matt D wrote:

  Hickman's SI: FF is absolutely worth reading, if only for Pirate Johnny and Sheriff Sue.

• At August 28, 2009, jazzbo wrote:

  Agents of Atlas is cancelled? Dammit! At least it will be a back-up in a comic I'm already getting. It ...

• At August 28, 2009, Timothy Burke wrote:

  I thought Idea #101 was from Dwayne McDuffie's short but really good run on FF before they flushed it through ...

• At August 28, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  Killer of Demons is out in trade already? Huh. That was a good series.

• At August 28, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Timothy: Yeah, good point, as I haven't read a lot about what did and did not constitute a horrible, horrible ...

• At August 28, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Greg Manuel: That was funny.

• At August 28, 2009, s1rude wrote:

  Idea #101 is from McDuffie's excellent run - I'm pretty sure it was his fix for JMS & Bendis' weird ...

• At August 28, 2009, Timothy Burke wrote:

  Yeah, that's was it--McDuffie was basically trying to fix the damage done to Reed Richards as a character, and did ...

• At August 28, 2009, Greg Manuel wrote:

  From one Greg to another: Thanks dude. I quote you a lot from here, you know.

  Also...the notion of Reed ...

• At August 28, 2009, Stefan wrote:

  {{{{Hickman's FF:DR clearly went straight off from that, though I'm not entirely wild about where Hickman led Reed. It seems ...

• At August 28, 2009, Alan Coil wrote:

  I think Wagner wanted to show that Madama Xanadu had suffered because of the Inquisitions as a counterpoint to the ...

• At August 28, 2009, Alf Tupper wrote:

  Everything is pointing toward a Moriarty appearance (I can't recall if we've already had a Moriarty reference in the series), ...

• At August 29, 2009, Chris Warren wrote:

  Under the auto shop: unbelievably awesome. I'm almost willing to bet money on it.

• At August 30, 2009, Fascination Place » This Week’s Haul wrote:

  [...] the effusive praise heaped on writer Grant Morrison by folks like Greg Burgas (who calls him the “God of ...

• At August 30, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  I had no idea AoA was canceled.

  Yeah, my fault, sorry.

  Picked up the trade of the mini the other week and ...

• At August 30, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  So McDuffie's FF is pretty good?

  I stayed away as it looked ripe for what happened to his JLA run - ...

Zero Killer tells the story of Zero, a mysterious man moving through the wreckage of New York, 2007, coming across bloodthirsty gangs and helping a young lady named Stark, whom we meet at the beginning of the series as she's being chased by some dastardly gang members. Yes, "wreckage" of New York. In Nelson's series, "Zero Hour" isn't an annoyingly convoluted mini-series in which Hal Jordan destroys the universe but a nuclear holocaust in 1973, resulting in the death of 90% of the Earth's population. Thirty-five years later, Manhattan Island has dropped 100 feet, meaning that everyone gets around by boat because everything is flooded, and gangs rule in the skyscrapers. Zero is a "trash man," meaning he's a bounty hunter, bringing back gang members who try to leave.

When last we saw the series, Stark had latched onto Zero for some reason (it doesn't feel romantic, but by the end of issue #3, we still weren't sure), a helicopter flying over the city had been shot down, and two men representing the Emir of Sudan (Africa having been spared the nuclear war; Nelson makes the point about the superpowers forgetting about Africa subtly, although it strains credulity, as in 1973 Africa was a hotbed of competing ideologies) trying to employ Zero to get the cargo of the helicopter back. They know Zero is trying to get to Africa, and they promise to take him there if he gets the cargo (a suitcase) back. The suitcase is in the Twin Towers, someplace Zero does not want to go, but at the end of issue #3, he's made up his mind to take the job, Stark is coming with him because someone important to her is in the Towers, and we've gotten a bit of backstory about Zero - his brother was killed at the Towers, and the gang members who did it are still in control, meaning Zero will have to contend with them. Sound good? Good.

Nelson does quite a few things that are obvious in the final three issues of the series (which doesn't make it a bad series, I should point out). We know that Zero is going to have to confront Deegan and Southpaw, the two people he mentioned when he was "talking" to his "brother" (in a hallucination) in issue #3. We know he has a history with them and the Disciples, the gang that lives in the Towers, and it's not too difficult to figure out what it is. Stark's quest is likewise a bit obvious, even before she says some things that make it even more obvious (except to Zero, apparently). Again, that doesn't make it bad, as Nelson keeps everything moving along nicely, and the battle between Zero and Southpaw and then Deegan is done well. Zero has to overcome that part of his past, and Nelson does a good job showing us that Zero has a lot to atone for. It's interesting that we believe Zero to be a kind of anti-hero in the beginning of the book, when he saves Stark not because he wants to, but because he's been hired to bring back the men chasing her, and we think as the series progresses he'll become more sympathetic. Interestingly, as Nelson reveals his past, we become less inclined to like Zero, but that doesn't mean he doesn't struggle to overcome his demons. Nelson avoids sentimentalizing his quest, so although we have an idea about what's coming, it's still compelling, as Zero's character is fascinating to watch. Despite the somewhat standard climax to the story, Nelson has done a nice job creating these characters, so we're more invested in them and seeing them go through an ending that is a bit telegraphed doesn't matter as much. When Stark finds what she's looking for, it's a very nice moment even though we've seen it coming. When Zero reaches the end of his quest, we feel uplifted even though, again, we could see it coming. As we often find in fiction, the journey is more interesting than the destination, because we've seen so many stories like this before. As long as Nelson doesn't completely blow the destination (and he doesn't), the series is a success because of how he builds the world.

The only problem with the ending is its ambiguity, which seems to imply a sequel (Nelson has said a sequel is definitely planned, so there's that). I don't really have too much of a problem with the ending, because the story is more about Stark and how Zero needs to put his past behind him, and both of those issues are resolved (whether they will be to your satisfaction is up to you). It's still a good way to wrap up the first series and set up a second one, but still, if the sequel doesn't pan out (and in today's marketplace, who knows?), it tells a good, six-issue story. Nelson leaves a lot about the world Zero and Stark inhabit ambiguous as well, like the status of women, who are being used in fertility farms in order to repopulate the planet. This is an interesting backdrop to the book, because it's obviously an important part of the world, but it's not necessarily pertinent to the main story, so it adds some nice depth to the series.

Matt Camp's art continues to be impressive, and it's kind of neat seeing it in black-and-white, before Stewart gets his hands on it. As good as Stewart is (and he is), it's neat seeing the pencil work for issue #6, mainly because we get to see Camp's work unadorned. The cityscapes are rawer and have a bit more impact, while the figure work is a bit less defined. When Stewart colors it, the figures become a bit more solid, and the ruined buildings of New York look a bit more refined, which distances them a bit from the characters. It's an interesting contrast, and it's neat seeing how the art evolves from the pencil work to the final stage.

Obviously, this is a lesser work than Rex Mundi (the final issue of which also shows up tomorrow), but it's still a good, solid, post-apocalyptic story that, while it might not rewrite the post-apocalyptic book, is worth a look. If you've forgotten about it, that's too bad. It's a neat comic with cool art and some interesting characters doing their thing. And if you missed it the first time out, it's time to dig into the back issue boxes!

3 Comments

• At August 26, 2009, Comics Should Be Good! @ Comic Book Resources » Ten questions with Arvid Nelson wrote:

  [...] Zero Killer is back! Did you miss it? [...]

• At August 26, 2009, Nick Marino wrote:

  i was wondering what happened to this comic!!!!!!! hmmmm will it even still be on my pull list? i never ...

• At August 26, 2009, Dan Bailey wrote:

  NIce to see it back, but I'm even more pleasantly astonished to see NBM coming out with Richard Moore's series-ending ...

Once again, thanks to the Discount Comic Book Service for being such nice chaps.

Amazing Spider-Man #600 by Dan Slott, John Romita Jr, Stan Lee, Marcos Martin, and about 100 other people (Marvel)

I haven't bought a Spider-Man comic, since, I dunno, Ultimate Spidey started. And if we're talking the "in-continuity" stuff, since Mackie and Byrne were dealing in the single digits. Now we're back in the triple digits, and here I am purchasing a Spider-Man comic. Why? Well, I just can't pass up a deal. What we have here is over 100 pages of brand-new material, with no ads, for a cover price of five bucks. And DCBS was selling it at half price. How could I refuse? It's a lovely, thick wad of comics-- this baby took me about an hour to read (I had to stop twice for snack breaks)!

Slott, Romita, et al. have produced the best Spider-Man comic I've read since I was eight years old or so, and they've done so by creating a comic that eight-year-old me would unabashedly love. It also evokes all the feelings of a classic Stan-Lee-and-company Annual from days gone by. Look at what we get for our paltry dollars: A 60+ page main story with fight scenes and guest stars galore, a wedding, classic villains, and a cast of dozens. The spirit of Spidey's 60s heyday still lives, vibrantly bursting forth from every page. And let's face it-- at this point, Spider-Man flows so mightily through John Romita Jr's veins that he doesn't have to draw anymore, only bleed all over the page; when it dries, it looks like this-- which is to say, amazing. Or perhaps spectacular. Or maybe "Web of." Okay, not that last one.

I was truly surprised-- and pleasantly so-- at how good this comic was. It's Spidey as you like him: In college! In trouble! In action! action! action! Okay, maybe not that first one, but everything else. We've got Spidey cracking jokes (I quite appreciated the reference to Family Guy's "everybody gets one" and the someone-else-remembers crack about Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place), we've got the umpteenth Doctor Octopus story (with a twist), we've got J. Jonah Jameson officiating his father's wedding to Aunt May-- it's like Stan-Lee-a-palooza all up in here. Then The Man himself stops by to pen a quick ditty (with Marcos Martin art!) about a Stan Lee stand-in chatting with Spidey about all his freakish transformations and continuity mishaps, until he's driven mad by it all and seeks out a shadowy Steve Ditko for guidance. And then the rest of the Spidey-writing crew stops by for back-up strips, and those go about how you'd expect: Waid and Doran do an obvious but still moving Uncle Ben story; Gale and Alberti deliver a pretty but empty story about how Spidey's life sucks; Guggenheim and the Breitweisers do the same Aunt May story that everybody does every 100 issues or so; Wells and Donovan poke some fun at the Spider-Mobile's expense; and Kelly and Fiumara get to be all portentous and stuff with a Madame Web flash-forward. Throw in some one-page gags and even a letters page (gasp!), and you've got yourself an epic comics package that makes everything 1965 all over again. Or 1976. Or 1987. Or 1994.

Will it get me to follow Spider-Man on a regular basis? Well, no-- but it was nice to stop by and see what some old friends were up to. Eight-year-old Bill(y) gives it his highest recommendation.

Atomic Robo: Shadow from Beyond Time #3 by Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener, Ronda Pattison, and Jeff Powell (Red 5)

I believe I've figured out why I enjoy Brian Clevinger's writing on this book so much. Oh, you may think it's for the face-rocking action or the hilarious banter-- and well, it is-- but it's also for his unwavering commitment to verisimilitude. Recently, he's spent some time on the Atomic Robo site explaining why giant robots and aliens aren't gonna show up in the Roboverse anytime soon-- because, naturally, a world with giant robots and aliens wouldn't be a world exactly like our own. You may find this a bit hypocritical, considering the comic is about a talking robot that fights giant bugs, Lovecraftian beasts from beyond this dimension, and Nazi war machines, but I enjoy seeing everything fit into an uber-context, rather than a patchwork universe like DC or Marvel, where God is a known quantity, space travel's a piece of piss, and extinction events occur every two weeks without daily life being affected at all. That's why the back-and-forth dialogue between Robo and the supposedly time-traveling super-smart raptor Dr. Dinosaur in the Free Comic Book Day special was so awesome. But that's me.

Anyway, the comic. This issue jumps the story ahead by a few decades, as 1950s Robo reencounters the aforementioned Lovecraftian beast from beyond this dimension in a cross between an Atomic Age B-movie and the Left 4 Dead video game. It's as funny, cool, and exciting as every other issue of Atomic Robo, which just goes to show that this is probably the most consistently enjoyable comic on the stands. And you should buy it.

Also, Scott Wegener's art is as lovely and fluid as your favorite lager. The overlooked team of Pattison and Powell does an excellent job, too; every aspect of this comic is just damn pretty. Now buy the damned thing or I'm going to come to your house, use your bathroom, and leave the toilet seat up.

Batman & Robin #2 by Grant Morrison, Frank Quitely, and let's be honest, you're not reading these credits, are you? (DC)

Can a comic be too good? Is such a thing possible? I'm afraid Morrison and Quitely may have discovered the alchemical formula to such a thing. Seriously, everything in this comic is so perfectly tuned: every word so considered, you can literally taste each line of dialogue; every panel so meticulously laid out, every image so precise, that the pages exist as modern architecture more than drawings on a page. Morrison and Quitely bring out the best in each other, of that there's no doubt, but their collaboration is such a well-oiled machine that the work almost feels rote and mechanical-- lifeless, by being too lively, or somesuch paradox. The rich art and seemingly minimalist scripting techniques that I've enjoyed so completely since I first saw them in concert on New X-Men in 2001 have perhaps oversaturated me; they hold less impact. Perhaps I'm just insane.

Anyway, the comic. It's a fast-paced sucker, this one, with a gorgeously laid-out fight scene taking up the bulk of the plot, though G-Mo and F-Qui crisscross these sequences with trademark after-the-fact Dick Grayson despair, though Alfred, of course, saves the day, as he always does. My biggest problem comes from Alex Sinclair's coloring, actually; the backgrounds shimmer like a pool of oil left floating in a parking lot. I'm not sure if it's a fluke of the printing process or a stylistic choice, but it is slightly off-putting to my eyes, at least. But that's a good thing. If this comic was any better it would probably suck-- going so far up one end of the scale that it appears at the other end, like a mighty Ouroboros.

Captain Britain and MI13 #15 by Paul Cornell, Leonard Kirk, Jay Leisten, Brian Reber, and Joe Caramagna (Marvel)

I have awfully heavy hackles, let me tell you, but several things still manage to raise them. Take the cancellation of this series, for example. I'm used to comics I like being canceled, as it's something that happens to me often. The unfortunate demise of this series could've been prevented, however, if someone in editorial took the unwieldy title-- and the fact that the good Captain is probably the least interesting character in his own book-- and changed it to Avengers U.K., or something similar. Avengers: England, BBC Avengers, The British Avengers, Wait, No, Not the Steed and Peel Ones. Whatever. That's what this comic's all about, after all-- England's Mightiest Heroes, defending queen and country. Those Avengers comics are pretty hot, these days. Maybe a different title and an occasional cameo from a sneering Norman Osborn would've given us another ten thousand readers or so. Who knows? The praise of the blogosphere clearly doesn't seem to have an effect on sales, otherwise the Top Ten would have stuff like Seaguy, Young Liars, Scalped, and this.

Anyway, the comic. This is the grand finale of my favorite Marvel series of the past, oh, 15 or so months. It gives us everything we could expect, in a Joss-Whedon-y "season finale that could totally be a series finale, and oops, it is" way. Tables turned, lost loves reunited, vampire torpedoes from space, a gratuitous Death's Head appearance, swordfights with Dracula, and probably the coolest final page from anything in a while. Paul Cornell writes the hell out of it, Leonard Kirk draws the hell out of it-- it's good comics. It's British comics.

Love 'em and leave 'em-- that's the British way. At least, that's what I've learned from James Bond and short-but-satisfying British television seasons. The nigh-paltry sum of 15 issues and an annual is certainly less than Cornell intended for this series, but I'm glad we got that much, at least.

(I would love Cornell to write a Blade series. He is the only one to ever make me care about Blade.)

Dethklok versus the Goon by Eric Powell and Dave Stewart, with some help from Brendon Small, and hey, they didn't credit a letterer, did they? (Dark Horse)

I've tried Eric Powell's Goon before, and it wasn't to my taste. I initially thought the same thing about Metalocaylpse, however, but giving it a few tries on Adult Swim eventually won me over completely. So when I saw that my favorite fictional animated heavy metal band, Dethklok, was crossing over with the Goon, I knew I had to give it a try. And so I did. And I didn't like it.

This reads like bad Metalocalypse fanfiction, which is weird, because creator Brendon Small was brought in to script doctor. Lines that might work in a late-night cartoon, however, fall completely flat on the page, but most of the dialogue just doesn't ring true as what the Dethklok characters would say, or perhaps how they'd say it. "Flat" and "untrue" describes the art, as well. I love Powell's art-- and when it comes to the Goonverse characters, he's right on. But when he draws the Dethklok gang, he does so in a flatter, less-defined, 2-D style, as best to ape the look of 2-D animation; it all just looks off somehow, contributing to the lifelessness of the whole thing.

I can see why they didn't credit a letter, though-- because the lettering is terrible. Maybe Augie De Blieck and I are the only folks who notice this kinda thing, but the first-- okay, maybe the third-- rule of lettering is (or should be) "don't cross your i's in the middle of a word." Down with the serifs! It makes the whole thing look ugly. The choice of font isn't exactly a winner, either. The writing was probably half-killed purely because of the lettering, which is, of course, antithetical.

So yeah, I'll stick to the cartoons.

Doctor Who: Room with a Déjà View by Rich "Bleeding Cool" Johnston, Eric J, Kris Carter, and Neil Uyetake (IDW)

If all time travel stories give Greg Burgas a headache, this one would probably kill him outright. Our hero, the Doctor, receives a distress call (or does he?) and investigates, landing in a isolated space station in the literal middle of nowhere (or is it?). There's been a murder (or has there?) and the prime suspect happens to be an alien fellow called a Counter, who lives his life backwards in time (or does h-- yes, yes he does), answering the Doctor's questions before he asks them. So, naturally, to unravel the mystery, the Doctor travels back in time-- over and over and over again-- to work out the chap's story. Because of this, a few sequences in the comic have to be read backwards to get the full poop, a clever little trick we'd probably never see on the TV show.

Rich Johnston nails the tenth Doctor's voice down pretty well, as the script sparkles with jokes, asides, and one-liners, but the emotional moments sell the whole story. The backwards interrogation scene is the central showcase, and the main conceit of the plot plays those clever tricks with time travel that we all like seeing. Eric J's art is often rough-hewn, but tells the story well enough; the script's clearly the star here, though.

I've praised a lot of comics to the hilt in this post, batting my eyes at them until they buy me one drink too many and whisk me off to their respective hotel rooms, but I have to say that this little book here is my comic of the month. I wouldn't mind seeing Rich get another crack at the Whoniverse. This is a really great little one-shot, doing the exact kind of thing these comic spin-offs should do: telling a good story in a manner the televised parent can't get away with.

Greek Street #1 by Peter Milligan, Davide Gianfelice, Patricia Mulvihill, and Clem Robins (DC/Vertigo)

I give every new Peter Milligan comic a chance, because Milligan's delivered a lot of my favorite comics over the years. This is not one of them. The premise, which adapts classic Greek tragedies to a dark, edgier, modern HBO setting is okay enough, sure, but the execution leaves me cold, and I liked Davide Gianfelice's artwork more in the first arc of Northlanders. It's worth picking up if you see it lying around, because it's one measly dollar for an oversized first issue, meaning everyone should give it a try, as it's bound to be the perfect comic for somebody. I'm not that guy, though.

My biggest gripe with this issue comes from the coloring, however. I guess it adheres to the standard Vertigo color palette, but it looks more like Patricia Mulvihill never met a shade of brown she didn't like. Browns, mauves, anything generally dark that bleeds well together with other tepid tones, making the art look more muddled than anything else. I picked up the second trade of Scalped, from the same colorist, and I could barely tell what was happening on some of the pages. Nothing really stands out; the characters on every page look like action figures sinking into mud. I don't know if it's the fault of the colors, or the paper stock, or both, but this is probably the drabbest comic you will see this summer.

Ignition City #4 by Warren Ellis, Gianluca Pagliarani, Chris Dreier, Digikore Studios, and why don't these comics credit letterers, darn it? (Avatar)

Ever notice the indicia in Avatar's books? "All characters as depicted in these stories are over the age of 18"? I'm sure that's left over from Avatar's, er, less savory publishing days, but since they've become the go-to place for original work from Ellis, Ennis, and even Moore, among others, it seems like something they could do away with, no?

Anyway, the comic. Ellis brings the goods here, giving us my favorite issue of the series thus far. The reason? It's almost all down to Doc Vukovic; every line he spews is absolute gold, from the bit you see above to "Science will fuck you!" and "They are stupider than mud that's been fucked by a donkey." What Vukovic really brings to the proceedings, though, is heart. Our protagonist Mary Raven is finally able to let her guard down, allowing Ellis to reveal the emotional core of the characters. The series works in detailing a place where all the glorious, forward-looking, optimistic pulp science fiction of old has a cynical shadow fall over it. The Buck Rogers analogue reveals the horror of the future that turned him into a broken man; a thug, spending all his time in the engine rooms of those old shiny ships, laments never having seen space; the old Doc has stopped wondering, stopped being curious, and it's ruined him. Cracks begin to show in the dark veneer, however, as Ellis lets a bit of hope and redemption leak through; the mad bastard is, of course, a big softie.

Gianluca Pagliarani's artwork looks less like lines on paper and more like woodcuts, or perhaps etchings on the side of a big metal spaceship that's starting to rust over. It's a fitting aesthetic for this book.

Lightning Round!

Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter #2 by Kieron Gillen, Kano, Álvaro Lopez, Javier Rodriguez, and Nate Piekos (Marvel)

This book's likely to fly under the radar of most "mainstream" readers, I'd imagine, except for the completists (get all those space horse comics!), and that small sect of comics aficionados who enjoy "quality." And yet, this probably sells five times or more than Gillen's baby, Phonogram.

Anyway, the comic. It's cleverly written, with some fine character work for comics' favorite Bill, and well drawn by Kano. And it still has that snazzy Simonson reprint in the back, complete with eye-singing primary coloring.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #26 by Jane Espenson, Georges Jeanty, Andy Owens, Michelle Madsen, and Jimmy Betancourt (Dark Horse)

Joss Whedon has a strong pimp hand. This is why I'm still buying this series, which had, at one point, some forward plot momentum, but which took a year off to wander around and "find itself," like a pretentious teenager. And now Jane Espenson is kick-starting the plot again and throwing the whole cast in a room together because bloody hell, it's #26 and we haven't really done anything! When season nine-- which I'll probably buy, because pimp hand--  inevitably hits, I hope the cast shrinks considerably. We just can't care about faceless hordes of teen slayers getting impaled by faceless hordes of demons. The cast needs some serious trimming, and the thematic focus needs to go back to what it once was-- high school/college/growing up is hell. Not "my army is bigger than your army."

Anyway, the comic. Oz is back. Yay, Oz! Now can we get more racist Dracula?

Doctor Who #1 by Tony Lee, Al Davison, Lovern Kindzierski, and Robbie Robbins (IDW)

Here's the debut of the new Tony-Lee-driven ongoing Doctor Who series, and the last place we're going to be seeing the Tenth Doctor once David Tennant's final stories air at the end of this year. But even when Matt Smith graces our screen, we can still turn to IDW for more Doc Ten goodness. This issue's got the atmosphere of a 1970s episode with the gob of the Tenth Doctor, as he stumbles into old-timey Hollywood and runs into Charlie Chaplin-- oh, I'm sorry, Archie Maplin. That's the biggest problem with the issue-- the fact that something legal popped up at the last minute and turned Chaplin into Maplin. But that's what white-out is for. Meanwhile, Davison's art is solid, with some good facial work in spots, but the occasional awkward figure here or there. This crew seems to really "get it," and this series will sate Who fans' hunger as they wait for the next special to air.

I have no idea how Burgas does this reviewing thing every week. It took me two weeks just to write this.

16 Comments

• At August 13, 2009, Red 5 Comics » Blog Archive » Reviews for Red 5 Titles wrote:

  [...] Comic Book Resources It’s as funny, cool, and exciting as every other issue of Atomic Robo, which just goes ...

• At August 13, 2009, Joe wrote:

  The only problem with calling Captain Britain & MI13 would be that the internet would be complaining about "yet another ...

• At August 13, 2009, Matt wrote:

  Buffy Season 8, I want to love you, but you're taking waaaaay too long to do anything. We should already ...

• At August 13, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Isn't Chris Dreier the letterer on Ignition City?

• At August 13, 2009, Michael P. wrote:

  You said it was funny, so I sincerely hope that Spidey 600 had more than just tired pop culture jokes. ...

• At August 13, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  I got all excited thinking you had #3 of Batman And Robin to review... where is that thing?

  Also, it weirds ...

• At August 13, 2009, onion3000 wrote:

  'Captain Britain & MI13' should have been called "The Blighty Avengers."

• At August 13, 2009, Alan Coil wrote:

  "‘Captain Britain & MI13? should have been called..." the Cancelled Avengers. Buh-Bye.

• At August 13, 2009, Mary Warner wrote:

  I'm glad you finally read a Spider-Man issue again. the fact is, despite all the complaints from the professional ...

• At August 13, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  .) But it seems half the guys on the internet refuse to even look at the book anymore, so they ...

• At August 13, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  (Two Guys, A Girl, & A Pizza Place? Yeah, that’s on-topic!)

  It is an outdated reference, but I loved that sitcom. ...

• At August 13, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  Spider-Man is finally being done right again, even if they had to really screw things up to get it there. ...

• At August 14, 2009, Kieron Gillen wrote:

  Thanks, Bill. And, yes, it does.

  KG

• At August 14, 2009, Chad Nevett wrote:

  Greg -- Avatar books don't credit the letterer, so who it is is unknown... unless you just ask them.

• At August 14, 2009, Mary Warner wrote:

  For some reason, even though I clearly recognised the psychiatrist as Stan immediately, it never occured to me that the ...

• At August 15, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Chad: Yeah, I saw that Dreier was the inker after I posted. I always assumed the artist lettered the ...

Yes, it's Previews #251, which promises that the final issue of Planetary will come out. It doesn't promise the Armageddon will occur the next day, but it might as well, right?

Dark Horse:

As you well know, I'm not the hugest fan of Joss Whedon, but I might get Sugarshock (page 22; 14 October). First of all, Fábio Moon on art is a no-brainer, but I've also heard good things about this particular Whedon story. For $3.50, I can deal with the risk!

I'm always amused (or is that bemused?) about the lengths to which American comic book companies will go to hint at nipples on women without actually showing them. Check out the cover of Conan the Cimmerian #15 on page 26:

Seriously? If she weren't wearing anything, there'd be an uproar. But those things (how are they staying there?) are okay. It cracks me up.

In keeping with their revival of every Robert E. Howard creation ever (next up - L'il Conan, which REH created when he was eight), Dark Horse offers every Marvel Solomon Kane comic in one volume (page 27; 16 December). I'm not sure if I'll get it, but check out the artistic talent: Howard Chaykin, Bret Blevins, Mike Mignola, John Ridgway, and Al Williamson, to name a few. Pretty keen.

I could have sworn Grendel: Behold the Devil had already been collected. I guess not, because there it is on page 30 (16 December). This is a beautiful comic, and although the story doesn't quite live up to the art, it's still a very good book. And you get eight issues for 20 bucks!

Dean Motter's Electropolis gets collected on page 35 (2 December). This is an odd book, a lesser Mister X or Terminal City, but still interesting. If you dig Motter, though, it's worth a look (although if you dig Motter, you probably already have it).

New Groo (page 37; 28 October). Laugh, fanboys, laugh!

DC:

Yay! A new Azrael series (page 71; 21 October)! I was waiting for it! Here's what I don't get: the advert reads "The hero returns in an all-new ongoing series!" Except it's not Jean-Paul Valley. So this guy isn't "returning" because he was never here in the first place. My head hurts.

Moench. Jones. Batman (page 72; 7 and 21 October). And this guy on the cover:

SOLD!!!!!

Okay, so the solicitation text for Superman: World of New Krypton #8 (page 80; 7 October) reads: "[W]ill the Man of Steel discover that Hawkman's legendary temper is shared by all his people?" Okay, first of all, I thought Hawkman was one of the more mellow Thanagarians, so that can't be good for Supes. Second, not to be a continuity nerd, but hasn't Superman met Thanagarians like, dozens of times? Or has he been brainwashed and I missed it?

Meanwhile, over on page 87, Justice League: Cry for Justice #4 (7 October) tells us that "Green Lantern and company wrestle with the idea of torturing villains for information in order to save lives." Considering they were cheerfully torturing villains in issue #1 and this is issue #4, I'd say they've already wrestled it and pinned it like Rey Mysterio pinning Dolph Ziggler!!!! Boo-yeah!*

There's an annual for R.E.B.E.L.S. (page 91; 7 October)? Really?

DC dips into their (well, retroactively theirs) archives and brings us DC Comics Classic Library: Shazam! - The Monster Society of Evil (page 96; 23 December). Sure, it's $40, but it's Otto Binder and C. C. Beck. You have to ask yourself - can you afford NOT to get it?????

Oh, Johnny DC, you crack me up: Batman gets turned into a monster (Batman: Brave and the Bold #10)? The Super Friends roast marshmallows (Super Friends #20)? Pet Club in space (Tiny Titans #21)? Can you stand the awesome? (All of these are on pages 102-103, by the way.)

The Winter Men gets the trade paperback treatment on page 107 (25 November). Totally worth your money.

Page 108: Planetary #27 (7 October). Man, this comic better cure syphilis. And solve the energy crisis. And figure out a workable Palestinian-Israeli settlement. And make reality television stop so that shows like Life on Mars and Kings don't get cancelled just because they don't feature mouth-breathing WT yelling at each other. And have a Manimal DVD with every glorious episode attached to it when it arrives in stores. But no pressure or anything, Warren and John.

On page 119, DC gets around to reprinting the first (and only) Shade, The Changing Man trade (25 November) and then, below that, they offer ... a second Shade, The Changing Man trade! Holy crapola! These are excellent comics, with Milligan being weird and Bachalo before he got incomprehensible. Go, DC!

* Fuck Curran. I can make wrestling references too!**

** Okay, that was a bit harsh. Sorry, Brad! Also: I stole the wrestling reference from Paul O'Brien, because I'll be damned if I can make one myself.

Image:

Okay, so I guess some news out of San Diego was that Kirkman's challenge to McFarlane about drawing something was about to see print, and Haunt is offered on page 136 (7 October). Except ... McFarlane isn't drawing it. He's inking Capullo and Ottley. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, but doesn't it feel like a bit of a cheat?

I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to buy Cowboy Ninja Viking (page 142; 7 October), but you have to give AJ Lieberman and Riley Rossmo credit for going balls-out with that title.

One Model Nation on page 152 (28 October) sounds somewhat interesting. It's written by Courtney Taylor, the frontman for the Dandy Warhols, and although Gerard Way did a nice job with coming from music to comics, can lightning strike twice? It helps that he has Jim Rugg drawing his words, so you know it will look excellent.

I know this is way too easy, but I like how the face of the new Witchblade is obscured, but other parts of her body are not (pages 170-171; 7 October):

Sorry, but I just had to go there.

Marvel:

According to the Marvel solicits, Anita Blake will soon be featured in a television series (page 13). But according the comments in Chris Sims's award-winning series of annotations of the series, the books get progressively more hard-core porny. So how will they adapt it for television? And will it be as boring as the actual comics seem to be (seriously, read the annotations, because it doesn't look like anything ever happens).

Hey, remember when Marvel ditched all the Spider-Man books so that they could have three weeks every month of Amazing Spider-Man, because that's really what the fans wanted? Yeah, that didn't last long: Web of Spider-Man shows up on page 22. Okay, I'll write it (in honor of DeMatteis, who's writing the book): Bwah-ha-ha-ha!

I certainly hope the existence of an Agents of Atlas/Uncanny X-Men crossover (page 29) doesn't mean AoA is in trouble. But it probably does. Shit.

Hulk #16 (page 41) gives us Red She-Hulk. That scream of agony you hear? Yeah, it's yours.

Despite my disgust at the excessive X-crap that Marvel keeps pumping out, Wolverine in an insane asylum written by Jason Aaron and drawn by Yanick Paquette (page 70) might get me to change my mind. We'll see.

Deadpool #900 (page 72) cracks me up. At least someone at Marvel has a sense of humor about their increasingly-ridiculous numbering policy.

X-Babies #1 (page 75) features, in some capacity, the characters from Star Comics. I don't know if the series will be any good, but that idea's pretty freakin' awesome.

Marvel brings the Asgardian War thing with the X-Men and New Mutants back in print with a nice hardcover on page 90. This is quite good, with Claremont before he got too, too Claremontian, plus Paul Smith and Art Adams handle the art.

Yay! The back of the book!

Amaze Ink/Slave Labor has what might be an intriguing book on page 192: Winchester #1. It's about two people who sneak onto the grounds of the Winchester Mansion and discover, well, weird stuff. I'd love to visit the Winchester Mansion. That would be keen.

The Black Coat: Or Give Me Death returns on page 196 from Ape Entertainment. It's a Festivus Miracle! This is such a cool comic, even without Francesco Francavilla on art.

Archaia has its usual collection of cool stuff on pages 196 and 201. The Devil's Handshake (page 196) is a story about treasure hunters written by Larry Hama. Robotika gets two hardcover volumes (one on page 196, one on page 201), collecting both series. It's, you know, awesome.

Archie #602 (page 201): Archie goes to a Lamaze class. The mind boggles.

I'm not sure why 303 was out of print, but on page 211, Avatar brings it back. This is a fairly atypical war story from Garth Ennis in that it's about a soldier but it's not necessarily a war story. It's pretty good nevertheless. And Jacen Burrows's art is typically strong.

Sergio Aragonés writes and draws Bart Simpson Comics #50 on page 218 (from Bongo Comics, unsurprisingly). That's kind of cool.

Boom! Studios has a new series on page 218: The Anchor by Phil Hester and Brian Churilla. It's about a dude standing at the gates of Hell to keep back invading demons. Sounds pretty keen. Meanwhile, if you've been waiting for the trade of Unthinkable, it's on page 231. I don't know if I can recommend it, because it's not finished yet, but it's not bad so far.

There's another trade solicited on page 247 from Dynamite that may or may not be good: The Trial of Sherlock Holmes. Again, the series isn't done yet, but again, if you're waiting on the trade, there it is!

Comic Book Comics #4 gets resolicited on page 265 from Evil Twin Comics. Man, I hope it comes out this time!

So IDW is releasing every "Bloom County" strip in five volumes (the first one is on page 271). Considering it's my favorite comic strip of all freakin' time, I'll be getting this. Even though I already have most of them collected. I don't care!

Mike Grell has a new Jon Sable series on page 274. If you're interested.

IDW also has The Rocketeer: The Complete Adventures on page 280. Dang, that has to be awesome, doesn't it? I've never read this, so I'll have to get this as well.

Kodansha Comics brings us new printings of volumes one of Akira and Ghost in the Shell on page 286. I've read the Akira, but not Ghost in the Shell. I might have to get these.

Speaking of Greg Rucka (and I was, just not in this post), Stumptown from Oni Press is offered on page 294. It's about a gambling detective who owes a bunch of money to a tribal casino but gets a way out if she can solve one case. The text compares it to Magnum, P. I., so Bill Reed should buy this, and it takes place in Portland, so everyone else should buy it, because Portland is awesome! Oh, and Greg Rucka is usually good with creator-owned stuff, but I judge things on more esoteric crap than that!

I mentioned that when I spoke to Anina Bennett at the convention, she told me about her and Paul Guinan's new book, Boilerplate: History's Mechanical Marvel, which is an alternate history of the United States with their creation, Boilerplate, inserted into key moments of the past century. It's in this month's Previews, but in the book section on page 325, in case you're interested. I certainly am.

This totally cracked me up:

Well, that's all she wrote this week, folk! The bottom of the alphabet has to step up, I guess! Let's get to digging through Previews, people!

31 Comments

• At August 1, 2009, The Mad Monkey wrote:

  Red She-Hulk...

  ...sigh...

  This is why I don't buy Marvel anymore.

• At August 1, 2009, Julio Dvulture wrote:

  Well, to be honest the new guy is returning from a Battle for the Cowl mini that no one cared ...

• At August 1, 2009, Nitz the Bloody wrote:

  It's good to see Bloom County collected, since this was easily the highest point of Berke Breathed's long tenure on ...

• At August 1, 2009, The Dude wrote:

  I can vouch for Wolverine - Weapon X,Greg. Jason Aaron is my favourite new writer right now. In fact, ...

• At August 1, 2009, Michael Rawdon wrote:

  I'm looking forward to the first collection or two of Bloom County. Once he introduced Bill the Cat, the ...

• At August 1, 2009, rwe1138 wrote:

  Sugarshock is indeed excellent.

• At August 1, 2009, Tom Fitzpatrick wrote:

  Is there anything that doesn't "crack" you up?

  I'm sold on PLANETARY and BLOOM COUNTY.

  Would LOVE to see OPUS be collected, ...

• At August 1, 2009, Tom Fitzpatrick wrote:

  As an afterthought, Armageddon might occur if and when Ellis might announce his return to FELL, DESOLATION JONES, and newuniversal.

• At August 1, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  As an afterthought, Armageddon might occur if and when Ellis might announce his return to FELL, DESOLATION JONES, and newuniversal.

  Uh ...

• At August 1, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Dude: Yeah, after I dropped Ghost Rider, it got awesome again, or so I've heard. That means I have ...

• At August 1, 2009, Snapper wrote:

  Shade the changing man is my all time favourite comic book, ever... The trades come out on my birthday.

  I've ...

• At August 1, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  I hated Opus. Is Bloom County any better?

  Yay for Magnum, PI.

• At August 1, 2009, Dan Felty wrote:

  Bloom County is hilarious. I love it when I was a little kid; I love it even more now ...

• At August 1, 2009, Dan Felty wrote:

  Hooray, it did!

• At August 1, 2009, Nitz the Bloody wrote:

  Michael, you really think Bill was the downfall of Breathed's comics? Admittedly there were limits to the jokes that could ...

• At August 1, 2009, Greg Hatcher wrote:

  The Solomon Kane reprint is definitely on my shopping list. That was some good stuff there, especially the Savage Sword ...

• At August 1, 2009, tk. wrote:

  The McFarlane thing does seem a bit cheaty, but when did Bachalo get incomprehensible, outside of... well, okay, maybe Sinister ...

• At August 1, 2009, Ted wrote:

  Life on Mars? Really? I wouldn't have thought that it getting cancelled was anyone's fault but their own.

• At August 1, 2009, Joe wrote:

  I'm glad Kodansha is reprinting Akira. That means I won't have to pay over $40 for volume 6 on Amazon.

• At August 1, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  The original, British version of Life on Mars is sooooooo vastly superior to the crappy American one. Phil Glenister forever!

• At August 1, 2009, Dave wrote:

  Sorry Ian, the only thing I'm taking away from that is that Ellis has apparently written Fell #10 and is ...

• At August 1, 2009, Dave wrote:

  Also Greg, Ghost in the Shell (and by extension everything Masamune Shirow has ever made,) is really a super-acquired taste. ...

• At August 1, 2009, Matt Bird wrote:

  Thanks, Dave, for convincing me I'm not crazy. Just today I finally read Shirow's Appleseed. You described its ...

• At August 1, 2009, Scavenger wrote:

  One point for anyone looking at Bloom County who didn't read it at the time or is ..young....it's very 80's.

  The ...

• At August 1, 2009, Matt K wrote:

  Thanks for pointing out Rocketeer. It was on my list of comics to track down. Additionally, on the ...

• At August 2, 2009, Andrew wrote:

  "Second, not to be a continuity nerd, but hasn’t Superman met Thanagarians like, dozens of times?"

  Hasn't DC rebooted continuty three ...

• At August 2, 2009, Andrew Collins wrote:

  Oh, I'm very interested in that new Jon Sable series. One of my all-time favorite comics from one of my ...

• At August 2, 2009, Keith wrote:

  Trust me. As somebody who has been there, you do NOT need to see the Winchester Mystery house. ...

• At August 2, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  tk: Read Bachalo's Steampunk. "Incomprehensible" might be too kind a word

  Well, I liked Life on Mars. It's certainly ...

• At August 4, 2009, FunkyGreenJerusalem wrote:

  but when did Bachalo get incomprehensible, outside of… well, okay, maybe Sinister Spider-Man is a bit.

  His style started to shift ...

• At August 7, 2009, tk. wrote:

  Coming back to this thread a bit late; I haven't checked out Steampunk, but I adore the bulk of Bachalo's ...

Not as laugh-out-loud funny as usual, but with some quality humorous lines ("New plan. Drive away forever."). However, it's still ridiculously entertaining, surprisingly touching, and Wegener, not surprisingly, draws the crap out of it. I hope you're getting the trade if you're not getting the single issues.

Battlefields: The Tankies #3 (of 3) by Garth Ennis (writer), Carlos Ezquerra (penciller), Hector Ezquerra (inker), Tony Aviña (colorist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $3.50, 22 pgs, FC, Dynamite Entertainment.

I guess there's not much to say about this. I like Ennis's war comics, so I like this. It's not as good as "Dear Billy," but that's okay. It does have a nice moment with a German talking to the Brits - Ennis does these kinds of things, with soldiers on different sides meeting and understanding the horror the war, very well - and it looks nice. It will be keen to see the new series next year.

Captain Britain and MI 13 #15 ("Vampire State: Conclusion") by Paul Cornell (writer), Leonard Kirk (penciler), Jay Leisten (inker), Brian Reber (colorist), and Joe Caramagna (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Well, thank God that's over. Now you can all be happy buying yet another shitty Avengers or X-Men comic and not feel guilty about skipping this. Let's hope Marvel never tries this shit again, because we all know well-written, well-drawn comics full of awesome moments, excellent characterization, brilliant plots and plot twists, and appearances by freakin' Death's Head can't sell at all as they don't star Wolverine. Now, if everyone can just stop buying Agents of Atlas, that would be super.

Fuck.

(Oh, I don't mean you guys, who are generally pretty discerning about what you buy - even if you weren't buying Captain Britain, you're buying something like Kramer's Ergot to make up for it. Let's just blame ... those mouthbreathers at the Jinxworld forums, okay? That'll work!)

Detective Comics #855 ("Elegy Part 2: Misterioso"/"Pipeline Chapter One Part Two") by Greg Rucka (writer), J. H. Williams III (artist, "Elegy"), Dave Stewart (colorist, "Elegy"), Todd Klein (letterer, "Elegy"), Cully Hamner (artist, "Pipeline"), Laura Martin (colorist, "Pipeline"), and Jared K. Fletcher (letterer, "Pipeline"). $3.99, 30 pgs, FC, DC.

I like how Williams manages to work what happens in the comic into the work of art of the cover. In a world where we get far too many freakin' superhero pose covers, that's pretty nice.

As with the last issue, the art is the reason to buy this book, as Williams does his usual unbelievable job. I don't really have anything to say about his layouts and panels and the way he shifts styles throughout the book - Jog has probably already written all you need to know about the art, because he's smarter than I am. But it's a shame that Rucka isn't stepping up his game a bit more - I read a tiny and short preview of Stumptown at San Diego, and in about five pages, Rucka was better than he's been on two whole issues of this story. It's not that either story is bad, it's just that, like much of DC and Marvel's output these days, it's bland. Williams (and even Hamner) cover up most of the flaws, but it's still kind of dull. Batwoman even comments how ridiculous it is to have a second villain in Gotham City who takes their schtick from Alice in Wonderland. So Rucka is even aware how ridiculous "Alice" is. Frankly, the idea of Alice in Wonderland as creeped-out drug trip has been done so much in comics that it's a horrible cliché, so "Alice" is more idiotic than anything. I mean, I guess it wouldn't be as "iconic," but wouldn't it be cool if a Bat-villain modeled themselves after ... Kurtz in Heart of Darkness? Or Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights (man, that guy is a tool)? Or the first Mrs. Rochester? Or Titus Andronicus from the Shakespeare play (man, that dude was nuts)? Or Warren Harding, the avatar of all that's evil in American history? Come on, comic book writers, get creative!!!! Going straight to Lewis Carroll betrays a lack of imagination, if you ask me.

Anyway, you know how, at least 213 times a year, Batman has to reminisce about his parents getting killed?* Well, apparently we can't have a Batwoman comic without our latest alternative-lifestyled heroine reminiscing about her origins either! Yay - she has some trauma in her past! That's why I always liked Tim Drake before DC decided to start, you know, slaughtering his family - he just wanted to be Batman because he thought it was the right thing to do, not because he had some childhood trauma. Couldn't our Indigo Girls-listening heroine been inspired by Bats to do the right thing? I guess not, and so we must cue the traumatic event from her childhood.

But at least someone gets shot in the head! Good times. Man, I can't wait for Stumptown to come out.

I will say that the final panel really looks silly, art-wise. Williams isn't perfect, apparently. It's so poorly-drawn that it looks goofy, and given the context, it's not supposed to look goofy. It's still better than the writing, so there's that.

* It's part of Bob Kane's diabolical contract with DC! Look it up!

Elephantmen War Toys: Yvette ("Nightingale") by Richard Starkings (writer), Moritat (artist), and Wright (colorist - Jason, probably, but it could be Gregory). $3.50, 29 pgs, FC, Image.

Starkings returns to Yvette, his protagonist from last year's War Toys mini-series (which was brilliant, by the way) and shows what happened in between the panels in a crucial moment from that series. We get to see Yvette and how she began to change from a typical resistance fighter to someone who could actually hunt and kill elephantmen. This is a brutally harsh story, one that fits well into the mini-series, and Starkings does his usual excellent job giving us a character who is pushed to the brink and tries desperately to hold onto her humanity. It's fascinating comparing Yvette's transformation to the struggle of the liberated elephantmen to become more human in the "present" of the book. Just as Yvette needs to find her inner animal, so to speak, so Hip and his cronies need to find their inner human. It's tragic watching Yvette become something else even as we realize that this will make her a more efficient enemy of the hybrids and perhaps allow her to help her fellow humans. We always feel for this kind of character in fiction, an outsider who does what needs to be done in order to help her fellows but loses something in the process, and Yvette is no exception. That Starkings does it so well in such a short time speaks, again, to his ability with these characters. Moritat's art is staggering, and I should have asked him if he's doing anything different with it. When he was the regular penciller on the book (and he's going to be back soon, apparently), his lines were much crisper, which befitted the feel of a futuristic epic. His black-and-white work on War Toys was much rougher, however, and in this issue, which is colored, is also rougher. It feels like a war story, with Yvette trying to overcome the terror she feels as she desperately kills her enemies. It's magnificent art, and it's interesting to see the shift in style from Moritat.

As usual, I struggle to find new ways to praise this comic. But it's richly deserved. And this is a one-shot (even though it ties into the mini-series), so you can get a good feel for the comic from just this one issue!

Gemini #4 (of 5) by Jay Faerber (writer), Jon Sommariva (artist/colorist), Fares Maese (colorist), E. Bola (colorist), Fco Plascencia (colorist), and Rus Wooton (letterer). $3.50, 26 pgs, FC, Image.

Boy, it's been a while, hasn't it? I'm not sure I should even review this, because it's been so long that those who were buying it may have given up and decided to wait for the trade. I certainly can't fault them for that. It's a pretty good issue, though, as Gemini fights Dynamo 5 and Faerber, like he's been doing for most of this decade, twists the superhero cliché of two heroes fighting just enough to make it interesting - in this case, the kids from Dynamo 5 don't know who Gemini is, but they quickly begin to figure it out because they listen to him and his former handler instead of just mindlessly fighting. Wow, imagine that!

I guess the final issue is on track for release, so that's cool. Of course, you're probably waiting for the trade, right?

Hellblazer #257 ("Hooked Part Two of Three: Temptation") by Peter Milligan (writer), Giuseppe Camuncoli (layouter), Stefano Landini (finisher), Jamie Grant (colorist), and Sal Cipriano (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

Dang, I love Phoebe. Milligan better not fuck with her!

Ignition City #4 (of 5) by Warren Ellis (writer), Gianluca Pagliarani (illustrater), Chris Dreier (inker), and Digikore Studios (colorist). $3.99, 22 pgs, FC, Avatar.

I'm really enjoying this series, as Ellis is really doing a nice job balancing the wackiness of pulp science with the mystery of what happened to Mary's dad. Pagliarani shines in this issue, too, as Mary finishes her gunfight with the bad guys and we get more glimpses of the future, which is typically horrible. As this is the penultimate issue, Ellis gives us some answers, although he cheats and deliberately withholds the big secret - boo, Ellis! That's okay, because Ellis has fun with Dr. Vukovic. Mary tells him his house smells weird, and he says "It smells of SCIENCE!" Then he calls the men who destroy his stuff "stupider than mud that's been fucked by a donkey." I'm not sure why getting fucked by a donkey makes mud stupider, but what the hell, right?

I suppose I'll have to wait until the final issue comes out to see if Ellis pulls this whole thing off, but right now, it's really going well. I just wish Ellis would make scads of money off of this so we didn't get yet another Iron Man mini-series from him. Oh well.

The Incredible Hercules #131 ("The Harrowing") by Greg Pak (writer), Fred van Lente (writer), Ryan Stegman (penciler), Terry Pallot (inker), Raúl Treviño (colorist), Chris Sotomayor (colorist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Reasons why Simon Bowland should win an Eisner for lettering based solely on this issue:

1. When "mortal" Hercules hits "immortal" Hercules in the mouth, the sound effect is "jawcrack."
2. When "our" Hercules kicks "their" Hercules in the gut, the sound effect is "crackajammatu."
3. When "their" Hercules flies through a strangely familiar hellish landscape, the sound effect is "bosch."
4. When "mortal" Hercules kicks back, the sound effect is "ardhisdoree."
5. When "immortal" Hercules flies through the air into a boulder pushed by a certain Greek king and smashes it, the sound effect is "powdah."
6. When said Greek king celebrates because his ordeal is over but then another boulder magically reappears, the sound effect is "sisy-poof."
7. When "our" Hercules backhands "their" Hercules, the sound effect is "bichslapp."
8. When "mortal" Hercules rips away a flaming wheel from some dude, the sound effect is "ixion."
9. When "our" Hercules busts up the wheel, the sound effect is "splintuh."

I get joy out of such strange things, don't I? Seriously - give that man an Eisner!

The Life and Times of Savior 28 #4 ("Enemy Combatants") by J. M. DeMatteis (writer), Mike Cavallaro (artist), Andrew Covalt (colorist), and Neil Uyetake (letterer). $3.99, 22 pgs, FC, IDW.

You want a review? You got one!

The Lone Ranger #17 ("Resolve") by Brett Matthews (writer), Sergio Cariello (artist), Marcelo Pinto (colorist), and Simon Bowland (letterer). $3.50, 22 pgs, FC, Dynamite Entertainment.

I'm glad that Dynamite decided to stop releasing this book until an arc was done, because the delays between issues was really annoying, even though I'm much more willing to cut books like this some slack. I just hope they're right and that we'll get a few consecutive months with this title, which continues to be a very entertaining book. Matthews tells straightforward stories, Cariello illustrates them very well, and you can almost hear the theme music as you read. Even the brutal parts of the book - Cavendish is still hanging around, and doing horrible things - are not as awful and graphic as you might find in any random superhero comic these days, but they still have an impact. It's refreshing to read a comic where the heroes do heroic things, the villain does evil things, and the woman isn't simply waiting around for the hero to come home. Take a break from heroes tap-dancing on villains' brains and check this out!

Madame Xanadu #13 ("Exodus Noir Part Three: Ware Not the Dead") by Matt Wagner (writer), Michael Wm. Kaluta (artist), Dave Stewart (colorist), and Jared K. Fletcher (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

After reading the trade of the first ten issues (13 bucks for 10 issues - why would I buy single issues?) and the first three issues of this arc, I'm not sure if I'm ready to start buying this series once Kaluta leaves, but this is shaping up to be a fairly nice story. Wagner is giving us a nice pulp mystery with weird Moroccans and demon dogs and guest appearances by Wesley Dodds (Wagner, remember, wrote most of his adventures back when he had his own series) and terrible magic, plus the flashback to 1493, where Ms. Xanadu is still getting it on with a hot young redhead and the Inquisition is starting to think there's something fishy about two hot women sharing a room. I mean, what could be weird about that?

It's a sumptuously drawn book, to be sure, and the story fits Kaluta's skills in a way that it might not Amy Reeder Hadley's, so it's a nice shift in the storytelling of Wagner. I'm still reserving judgment on it, obviously, until it's finished, but so far it's pretty good.

Northlanders #19 ("The Shield Maidens Part 2 of 2") by Brian Wood (writer), Danijel Zezelj (artist), Dave McCaig (colorist), and Travis Lanham (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

Wood, as he always does with these arcs, starts off with violence and uses it to examine other aspects of society and culture, in a way that's kind of sneaky but much appreciated. Like the two-issue story about Lindisfarne, this story has an element of the pagan culture of the Norse clashing with the Christian culture of the Saxons, but it also gives us a glimpse into the way women were viewed in this era. It's interesting that Grettr, one of the Viking women, is familiar enough with Christianity that she can make value judgments about it (whether she's right or not is inconsequential - ninth-century Christian culture was far more complex than she thinks, or indeed could be discussed in a 22-page comic book, but that's neither here nor there, really), as it implies that the Norse women, at least, were more involved in their world than we might expect. We've seen this throughout the series, and Wood makes it explicit in this story. It's also interesting that later, Grettr narrates that they are spinsters, and "well-regarded," implying that Norse women weren't quite as "independent" as they'd like to think - what if they had been younger and still marriageable? Would they have been able to live independently? Quite a few Christian widows were able to live as Grettr, Lif, and Thyra could. What's nice about this series is that Wood, for all his seemingly black-and-white pronouncements, is usually much more subtle when it comes right down to it. History is far more subtle than we like to think, and Wood gives us both the big, bloody battles and the more interesting societal forces working upon these characters.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't get lots of people getting killed, and Zezelj does a magnificent job with that, along with McCaig, who changes colors to highlight the battle. The full page of the ocean across which the ladies must swim is beautiful, evoking the fear that even those accustomed to the water have of it.

As always, this book is very good if you don't know the history, but knowing it makes things a bit more ironic. At one point, Thyra tells a priest, "We own nearly this whole island ... only your sickly king in Wessex remains." The king at this time was Æthelred, and while he was a lousy king, his death in 871 paved the way for his brother Alfred, the only English monarch called "the Great," who was quite good at beating the Danes later in his career. I know people like Bill Reed don't care about this, but I think it's neat.

Phonogram: The Singles Club #4 (of 7) ("Konichiwa Bitches"/"Roses"/"Theory and Practice") by Kieron Gillen (writer), Jamie McKelvie (artist/letterer), and Matthew Wilson (colorist). "Roses" by Kieron Gillen (writer), David LaFuente (artist), and Christina Strain (colorist); "Theory and Practice" by Kieron Gillen (writer) and Charity Larrison (artist). $3.50, 27 pgs, FC, Image.

If I were to tell you that this entire comic book (well, the main story) features a six-panel grid with the same two people in said panels for 13 of its 16 pages, you'd be forgiven for thinking it's boring. If I tell you it's not, you'd be forgiven for thinking that Alan Moore wrote it and it's all about the power of sex magic, and it's not possible that the art could be any good. Well, my friends, in my increasingly futile attempts to remain objective about Phonogram, I can tell you this is not only written brilliantly, but drawn wonderfully as well. Gillen gives us Seth Bingo and Silent Girl (who talks quite a bit in this issue) DJing at the club where the book occurs, and the dialogue is astonishing. It's simply Seth griping about the musical tastes of everyone in the room and Silent Girl undermining him, and it builds to a double-page spread that summarizes pretty much what this mini-series is about. As the middle issue of the series, it provides the fulcrum of Gillen's theme, and he gets there so naturally that we excuse and even embrace the bombastic and wee bit pretentious idea that he's toying with. And if you think McKelvie can't draw the same two people standing at a turntable set for almost the entire issue, well, you've never read a McKelvie comic before. Just looking at the way Seth and Silent Girl interact in this book is wonderful, and you can do it without the dialogue and know exactly what each is feeling. The two pages where Silent Girl breaks out Blondie's "Atomic" are masterful - Seth is determined to pump the party up, and his face is set to do just that. When Silent Girl gets the disc out, we get the holy light of Blondie bathing the two (literally) and Seth must look away while Silent Girl, who's wearing protective goggles (seriously), gazes in wonder upon the glory of the disc. When the track starts playing, they both affect disinterest until the music starts, and then they sing along, building to a glorious shout of "Atomic!" It's this kind of attention to detail that makes both the writing and art on Phonogram such a joy to look at. McKelvie does this throughout, and as usual, I'm not sure how these two gentlemen manage to create such brilliant stories in 16 short pages, but I'm certainly glad they do.

Power Girl #3 ("Gorilla Warfare") by Justin Gray (writer), Jimmy Palmiotti (writer), Amanda Conner (artist), Paul Mounts (colorist), and John J. Hill (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC.

As I mentioned, I'm going to buy the next two issues based on Palmiotti's recommendation (and the final pages that set up the next issue look pretty keen), but I wish the first three had been better. This issue is somewhat anticlimactic, and when your star is reduced to a supporting role in her own book, that's not good. I guess DC editorial wanted the JSA in this to tie it to that book a bit, but let's hope PG gets to go solo next issue. And it would be nice if the bad guys, who have been fighting female heroes for decades, wouldn't fall back on the "fragile and weak-minded female" cliché. As we saw in this arc, Ultra-Humanite was allied with a strong and totally evil woman, so even if he doesn't respect women, would he really think they're fragile and weak-minded? I don't know why that bugged me, but it did. Oh well. You know who's awesome? Amanda Conner, that's who. But you already knew that.

Rapture #3 (of 6) by Taki Soma (storier/layouter), Michael Avon Oeming (artist), Val Staples (colorist), and Thomas Mauer (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Dark Horse.

You know who else is awesome? Val Staples. Okay, discerning readers have probably already figured that out, but he doesn't get to cut loose all that much on the Brubillips books (Criminal and Incognito), so it's occasionally hard to see why he's so good. But here, he turns Soma and Oeming's odd post-apocalyptic superhero/horror epic (Geoff Johns should read this to see superhero horror done right) into a truly bizzare and almost surreal comic, with too-bright colors on some pages, too many magentas and blues on others, almost sickening reds on some pages - none of it should work, really, but Staples chooses just the right hues to make this a horrifying yet richly textured superhero comic that nevertheless unsettles us. Soma and Oeming do some gore, sure (not as much as a certain space cop/zombie story), but when they do, it's fairly shocking, and Staples's bright red blood against the red brick makes the whole scene even more disturbing than the buckets of black blood being spilled elsewhere. I'm sorry to keep bringing up that comic, but Soma and Oeming do a very good job showing the gore judiciously, and Staples's coloring makes it feel worse than William Hand shooting himself in the head, even if that was more graphic. This is an odd yet very effective comic, and part of it is due to Staples. Celebrate the colorist!

Secret Warriors #6 by Brian Michael Bendis (storier), Jonathan Hickman (storier/scripter), Stefano Caselli (artist), Daniele Rudoni (colorist), and Dave Lanphear (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, Marvel.

So I'm reading this, trying to decide if I want to keep buying it or not, because the superpowered people just aren't that interesting so far, and most of this issue is those same superpowered people beating up other superpowered people and who cares about that, really? but then Nick Fury turns to Dum Dum Dugan and tells him he has one month until they get serious and Dugan responds, "You give me a month and I'll deliver to you the baddest bunch of evil bastards this world has ever seen. I'll give you Howling Commandos ready to bark at the moon and bite at the sun. Nick, you give me a month and I'll raise a damn army" and I had to stop myself from saying aloud, "HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!!!" So yeah, as long as Hickman does that and maybe, just maybe, kills off all the superpowered people in the next few issues, I'll be on board. Sheesh, I may even start buying Fantastic Four based on that page.

Unknown Soldier #10 ("Easy Kill Chapter Three") by Joshua Dysart (writer), Alberto Ponticelli (artist), Oscar Celestini (colorist), and Clem Robins (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

Once again, Dysart manages to get some socio-political commentary into his book, which is nice to see as he's not being so terribly overt about it like he was early on. Moses's rant comes from the character and what he's been through, and it's a shocking moment because we thought Dysart was going one way with the story, and now suddenly it's back to where it started, which means trouble. Because the politics comes from Moses's guilt (which it does, as he does something horrible early in the book for which he can't atone), it's more forceful. It also comes from his "programming," for lack of a better word, and is a violent manifestation of something he discusses calmly with his wife earlier in the book (in a dream sequence, that is). So it works very well within the book.

I don't know if this book is doing well or not, but I hope it is, because every issue is getting better, and that's always good to see. I'm curious to see where Dysart is going with this.

And I can't help it, but Moses's dream of himself at the opera (which is different from the one where he talks with his wife) didn't work as well because when I saw the red bull, I thought of this movie, which we own on DVD and which my younger daughter likes quite a bit. So I chuckled at a point in the book where I probably shouldn't have. But that's really my problem, isn't it?

Wasteland #25 ("Planet Caravan") by Antony Johnston (writer), Christopher Mitten (artist/painter), and Douglas E. Sherwood (letterer). $5.99, 44 pgs, FC, Oni Press.

When the Big Two claim something is "double-sized," they tend to lie, as we've often seen. However, this comic is 44 pages of solid story! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Joey Q and Danny D!

If you've never read an issue of Wasteland, despite this being six dollars, it's not a bad place to start. Johnston steps back from the regular story to give us a tale from a decade earlier, in which one of our main characters (Michael) has dealings with one of our minor characters (Sultan Ameer). It's a story that shows why the two men don't really like each other, and it gives us a very nice background of the world Johnston has built. And you don't have to know all the various people and the way they relate to each other, as they don't appear.

Mitten's art, however, is why this book is so stunning. The book has always been in black and white, and while that works well for the post-apocalyptic landscape in which the book takes place, the painted colors in this book are amazing. Mitten does a magnificent job using various shades of tan, which sounds boring but really gives the book a "desert" look (believe me, if you move to the desert, you'll be amazed at how many different shades of tan there are) and also makes the brighter colors (when they occur) pop wonderfully. When night falls in the desert, Mitten gives us gorgeous yet slightly creepy purples and blues, so that the landscape itself looks bruised. It's a harsh world these characters inhabit, and while Mitten usually shows this through the starkness of the landscape, in this book he's able to do it through the coloring. And there are a couple of double-paged spreads that are brilliant. Johnston's story is solid (as usual), but Mitten's art is staggering.

Johnston told me the book is back on track, which is nice. I don't mind waiting for issues that deliver, as this does, but I like the book so much that I really want to read the next issue. Man, I don't know how some people wait for the trade on some comics.

We Kill Monsters #1 (of 6) by Christopher Leone (writer), Laura Harkcom (storier), Brian Churilla (penciller/inker), Hilary Barta (inker), Ronda Pattison (colorist), and Jeff Powell (letterer). $3.50, 32 pgs, FC, Red 5 Comics.

The folk at the Red 5 booth gave this to me for free at San Diego, so I figured the swell thing to do is review it, right? I wasn't going to order it based on the preview I read, because it seemed okay but nothing great. If I read good things about it, I could always get the trade, right?

Well, I'm still of that opinion. I actually like it more than I thought it would, because Leone does a nice job establishing the characters of Jake and Drew, two mechanic brothers who accidentally get caught up in monster-killing. While we think Drew is a bit of an idiot for choosing his brother over a girl, Leone does a nice job showing why he does so. Churilla does a good job with the action, which takes up quite a lot of the issue. Drew and Jake get attacked by a monster, kill it, and then get chased by another when they drag the corpse of the first one home. Along the way Jake gets injured, but some strange monster brain juice heals him - well, it then turns his arm into a monster arm, so maybe "heal" isn't the right word. Of course, they soon discover that one of the monsters was pregnant, so there will be more of them!

It's a pretty good first issue, establishing the characters, giving them a reason to do the things they do, and setting up the rest of the series. Leone keeps the monsters' origin a secret, of course, because Drew and Jake don't have time to figure that out right now. Churilla has a good solid line, and his style helps create a "real"-looking world that helps us accept the presence of a big three-eyed monster or two. I'm still pretty sure I'm going to wait for the trade, unless I happen to see the second issue and like what I see, but this is a solid debut.

Wednesday Comics #3-4 (of 12) by many. $3.99, 15 pgs, FC, DC.

Let's review these all using one, count it, ONE word for each story, okay?

Batman (Azzarello, Risso, Robins, Mulvihill): Skeevy!¹

Kamandi (Gibbons, Sook): Valiant!

Superman (Arcudi, Bermejo, Ciardo, Lopez): Emo-tastic!

Deadman (Bullock, Heuck, Stewart): Awesome!

Green Lantern (Busiek, Quinones, Brosseau): Kennedy-esque!

Metamorpho (Gaiman, Allred, Allred, Piekos): Mysterious!

Teen Titans (Berganza, Galloway, Napolitano): Vexing!

Strange Adventures (Pope, Villarrubia): Pulptacular!

Supergirl (Palmiotti, Conner, Mounts, Hill): Goofy!

Metal Men (DiDio, Garcia-Lopez, Nowlan, Lopez, Mulvihill): Good?²

Wonder Woman (Caldwell): Skippable!

Sgt. Rock and Easy Co. (Kubert, Kubert): Decompressed!

Flash Comics (Kerschl, Fletcher, Leigh, McCaig): Headache-inducing!³

The Demon and Catwoman (Simonson, Steelfreeze, Wands): Rhymeless!

Hawkman (Baker): Aqua-diss!

¹ Because of Bruce coming onto the widow, don't you know. Ewwwww.
² I'm not questioning that it's good, I'm questioning that I don't know how a Didio-written story is good.
³ Because of the time travel. Dang, I hate time travel stories.

As this is two weeks' worth of books, let's get two totally random lyrics!

1.
"You say your protection
Is proof of your affection
If I need security
I'll keep a gun on me
Don't barter with me
Don't barter with me

Little sacrifices
Go straight to heaven
But hunting season's over
This is the twentieth century
Don't barter with me"

2.
"Let's go outside to a dark place
Where the kitty cat hides
Put on your fake wings
Give the moon a ride
When you're lonely for the angel inside

Three-thirty in the morning is too easy for you
But when it comes without a warning
What are you gonna do this time?"

The only clue I will give you is that, in accordance with Seth Bingo's rules, "female vocalists only." Although I doubt if he'd approve of the selection.

Man, it's good to be back. Now I just have to read a ton of comics!

32 Comments

• At July 30, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  You know, lots of people think that Warren G. Harding was the worst president, but everybody forgets that Grover Cleveland ...

• At July 30, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  And I do know who Aethelred and Alfred are! I took a Medieval Lit class. I did not enjoy it, ...

• At July 30, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  And I love time travel stories, and am never confused by them. Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey. Suck it, Burgas!

• At July 30, 2009, Brad Curran wrote:

  I like that you're trying to give colorists love. Also, I'm thinking we should start a petition to get Bowland ...

• At July 30, 2009, Brad Curran wrote:

  "Wake me up when they do a Neil Diamond issue."

  I think the Earth ending will do that for you, but ...

• At July 30, 2009, Brad Curran wrote:

  Okay, I really need to write a movie script about Grover Cleave-land, the only President to serve non-consecutive terms and ...

• At July 30, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  You guys are weird.

  That's okay about Phonogram, Bill, we know you're soulless anyway!

  Man, a lot of presidents were evil. ...

• At July 30, 2009, Brad Curran wrote:

  "You guys are weird."

  When Grover Cleave-land becomes a franchise, you will choke on those words. Well, about me. Bill's pretty ...

• At July 30, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  I actually like Britpop, by which I mean Pulp is one of my favorite bands. Are they Britpop? I know ...

• At July 30, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  Anyway, I figure that dude just writes in whatever sound effects the writers tell him too, you know? And don't ...

• At July 30, 2009, Joe wrote:

  (Oh, I don’t mean you guys, who are generally pretty discerning about what you buy – even if you weren’t ...

• At July 30, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Hey, if you buy them both, Joe, more power to you!

• At July 30, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Bill: Well, I hope whoever did those sound effects gets a special Eisner for Awesomeness.

  And I love Neil Diamond. ...

• At July 30, 2009, Michael P. wrote:

  The Demon may not be rhyming, but he *is* speaking in blank verse. And I'd include a wiki link to ...

• At July 31, 2009, Chris McAree wrote:

  I felt like a fanboy when DH showed up in Captain Britain. One small caveat is I always preferred the ...

• At July 31, 2009, The Dude wrote:

  I've bought every issue of Phonogram so far purely because of the art. It's just beautiful stuff but I can't ...

• At July 31, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Michael: He's speaking in iambic pentameter, isn't he? At least some of the time.

  Dude: The funny thing is, I ...

• At July 31, 2009, The Dude wrote:

  I thought that too when Gillen talked about The Smiths last issue as a "seminal band". God, I hate them ...

• At July 31, 2009, Brian Wood wrote:

  "Quite a few Christian widows were able to live as Grettr, Lif, and Thyra could."

  Names, Greg, I want their names.

  b

• At July 31, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  Let's see, Brian, there was ...

  Oh, sure, like I can give you names! As I'm sure you know, sources ...

• At July 31, 2009, Michael P. wrote:

  Blank verse *is* unrhymed iambic pentameter.

• At July 31, 2009, Ethan S wrote:

  Having recently acquired that hardcover of Kirby's Demon, I have to say I love the Wednesday Comics version. Sure, Etrigan ...

• At July 31, 2009, Brian Wood wrote:

  Sure, 'rich' being a crucial factor, but the Church was forever trying to devise ways of separating people from their ...

• At July 31, 2009, Brad Curran wrote:

  "Also: Neil Diamond’s sequins are totally part of some magic spell. For serious. You’ll see when I write my epic ...

• At July 31, 2009, Greg Burgas wrote:

  That's true, Brian. I would argue that ninth-century Christianity (Christianity up until the early 13th century, in fact) was ...

• At July 31, 2009, Keith wrote:

  I haven't read Hellblazer yet, but it's on my list to pick up, eventually.

  Does anyone think Milligan makes ...

• At July 31, 2009, Bill Reed wrote:

  Wow, I totally forgot the Coach character ever existed.

  I need to reread X-Force. And X-Statix.

• At July 31, 2009, Stefan wrote:

  Oh wow, I completely missed all those Hercules sound-effects, that's brilliant! Eisner, definitely.

• At August 1, 2009, Stephen wrote:

  "That’s why I always liked Tim Drake before DC decided to start, you know, slaughtering his family – he just ...

• At August 2, 2009, Random Stranger wrote:

  A Harding-themed Batman villain could finally return Gotham to a state of villaincy.

• At August 6, 2009, 3 million Years » Blog Archive » Captain Britain & MI:13 #15 wrote:

  [...] think this from CBR says it [...]

• At August 13, 2009, Red 5 Comics » Blog Archive » Reviews for Red 5 Titles wrote:

  [...] Comic Book Resources Still ridiculously entertaining, surprisingly touching, and Wegener, not surprisingly, draws the crap out of it. I ...

Atomic Robo: Shadow from Beyond Time #2 by Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener, Ronda Pattison, and Jeff Powell (Red 5)

This, my friends, was my favorite comic from June 2009. Mark it in your ledger!

Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegener have perfected their shared wavelength and created the most entertaining comic on the stands. Clevinger's plotting is perfectly pared down to the essentials-- after all that fun banter and exposition in part one, this episode's all action, but not without its fair share of hilarious dialogue, be it Charles Fort's mixture of eagerness and incredulity ("Edison would never allow the likes of you or I near his necrophone"), or Robo's carphone conversation with Nikola Tesla, in which he tries to act like nothing's wrong and he's not chasing down a giant Lovecraftian (literally!) beastie with a carful of lightning guns. Meanwhile, Wegener's artwork is crispier than fried chicken, his facial cartooning brilliant-- it's marvelous how he can eke so much emotion out of a character who, by all rights, doesn't have a face.

It's in the last handful of pages, however, where Clev and Weg (as they shall now be known) really hit me, as Robo literally turns things up to 11 and the reader is handed the most badass, exciting comic book moment I've read in ages. It's flawlessly paced, the epitome of action storytelling. "There's one underlying scientific principle common to all existence. ... Everything explodes." That's the best way to describe Atomic Robo-- explosively awesome. And not in the "Taco Bell put the fear of God in me" way.

Batman & Robin #1 by Grant Morrison, Frank Quitely, Alex Sinclair, and Pat Brosseau (DC)

I suppose the title is technically "Batman and Robin," but I enjoy typing ampersands. What can I say about this comic that hasn't already been said? Nothing, probably. Heck, reviews of the second ish are already out and I've just sat down with the first! Egads, Bill, get with the times! Batman & Robin #1 is so last month!

G-Mo and F-Qui have this thing down to a literal science by now. They have become such a well-oiled machine that one expects nothing less than perfection from their collaborations, and we pretty much get that here. I loved the hell out of this thing, from the vibrant yellow background on the cover to the flying Batmobile to Quitely putting the sound effects into the art to the decrepit remnants of the giant mechanical dinosaur to the cutaway of the Bat-Bunker (which I did hope would be a bigger drawing, I admit), to Damian calling Alfred "Pennyworth" to the paracapes to the brilliantly disturbing new baddie Pyg. And now I'm out of breath. But yes, absolutely gorgeous and electric, giving me the same chills I got with Morrison and Quitely's first issue of New X-Men. You might as well call this New Batman, because that's what it is. I didn't think I'd care about Dick Grayson in the Batsuit, but I'd read it forever if these two Scottish blokes were in charge. Really, there is no need for another Batman comic besides this one.

So there, I've just repeated what everybody else said. But man! What a cool comic! Why couldn't Morrison's whole run to date have been like this?

Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter #1 by Kieron Gillen, Kano, Alvaro Lopez, Javier Rodriguez, and Nate Piekos (Marvel)

Kieron Gillen writing pop comics about hip music and the cool cats who dance to it? I can't wrap my brain around that. Kieron Gillen writing an action comic about a space horse with the power of a Norse god who decides to kill an unstoppable force that devours planets? Hell yeah, sign me up.

I get the feeling that Gillen's going to be a big name in a couple years, one of those go-to guys at Marvel who follow the same path as Matt Fraction or Jason Aaron-- they'll wow you with their early creator-owned work and then start spinning cool superhero yarns, but they gotta start by paying their dues. And so Kieron Gillen gets to write a mini-series about one of my favorite characters, the noble alien warrior with a face like a dead horse who shares my name and flies a talking spaceship named Skuttlebutt. I'm surprised to see Beta Ray Bill getting the spotlight as regularly as he has been, what with the mini-series and one-shots and team books he's appeared in over the last few years. What once was maybe a novelty pet character of Walt Simonson's is apparently a favorite of some editor out there, and so we're blessed with books like Godhunter, which is about the titular Bill deciding Galactus needs to die, and going about the mission. It brings him into contact with SWORD, which puts him in the path of of a being who disintegrates folks with his cosmic organ music-- yes, that happens-- and then into a smackdown with one of Big G's heralds. And yeah, the story is pretty groovy, and it could be going places, so I'll be looking forward to the second issue.

Kano should probably be a star by now, but it seems he keeps getting overlooked for the big assignments, and that's a shame, as he really bridges the gap between a looser, cartoonier line, and more of what's the Marvel house style, but it gives the art a real verve.

This puppy's a whole lotta pages for four bucks and has no ads! What it does have, though, is a reprint of Thor #337, the first appearance of Beta Ray Bill, written and drawn by Walt Simonson. I've got this issue in my collection already, but what really struck me in perusing the reprint were the colors, especially when compared to the new story. George Roussos provided the original coloring to this old story; on newsprint, it looked cool, rife with Benday dots, but on these slick magazine pages, the bold flat colors throttle one's retinas-- in a good way, of course.

Take a look at the two panels above. Which ones excites you more? Yes, coloring is far more of an art in comics these days, and I do enjoy the various digital brush strokes you can see in Thor's face on the opening pages, but these bombastic colors in the back half of the mag really command my attention. A lot of coloring these days feels really over-rendered, which gives the pages a muddled feel, and certain contributes to the "sameyness" of Marvel art. Loads of careful attention is paid to the comics page these days, but I can't help be more enchanted by the almost violent, done-by-hand work of Simonson, Workman, and Roussos in some old issue of Thor.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Tales of the Vampires by Becky Cloonan, Vasilis Lolos, Dave Stewart, and Comicraft's Jimmy (Dark Horse)

I made sure to buy the one that had the Moon-n-Ba cover, because those two gents are awesome.

What Cloonan and Lolos give us here is something only tangentially related to the Buffyverse, but I'm glad that Buffy logo is on there, because that means a lot more people are gonna buy this comic, which is superbly crafted. Cloonan works away at the periphery of the Buffy mythos-- folks know vampires exist now, sure, and slayers are out there, but Nashua, New Hampshire is far from the Hellmouth (well, closer to the one in Cleveland), and dull teenage life is still dull teenage life. Jacob yearns for more, and he gets it-- at a price, of course. It's about choices, and bad ones, specifically.

Cloonan's known for her art, but she really sells the script here, especially with the mother character. Lolos' art is excellent as always, deftly cartooned, letting the primary characters be almost swallowed by the empty backgrounds, until the vampires bring everything into close-up.

Dave Stewart's colors are magnificent. There's a reason he's the best in the biz, and it helps that he falls more in line with what I talked about above. Many of the colors here are subdued-- lots of mauve, surprisingly-- but that works to the art's advantage. I dig Stewart's play with light, whether in the panel above with the parking lot lamps, or with the shadow that so often appears on the protagonist's face for the first half of the book.

So yeah, it's a good book, probably more akin to Demo than any issue of Buffy, and I hope the usual Buffy audience picks it up and responds well to it.

Lightning Round!

Astonishing X-Men #30 by Warren Ellis, Simone Bianchi, Andrea Silvestri, Simone Peruzzi, Morry Hollowell, and Chris Eliopoulos (Marvel)

A lot of folks rag on Simone Bianchi's art, and I'll say this: I really dig it. It's not the most dynamic, and the storytelling isn't necessarily brilliant, but my word, look at those ink washes! Every page of this looks like it wasn't sullied by mere human birth but instead brought down from Olympus by the god of storks himself and raised on pure, massaged Kobe beef. Other than that, the story finally decides to go places in its last chapter and the X-Men become dark, mean, genocidal maniacs. Maybe this is the beginnings of a dark, longform plot from Mr. Ellis, but it takes a lot to make me enjoy an X-Men comic, and I don't feel I'll be back for the next arc. Sorry, chaps.

Captain Britain & MI13 Annual #1/#14 by Paul Cornell, Mike Collins, Adrian Alphona, Leonard Kirk, Ardian Syaf, Livesay, Jay Leisten, Craig Yeun, Jay David Ramos, Christina Strain, Brian Reber, and Joe Caramanga (Marvel)

You know, I read the Annual, and still I feel that I don't know anything about Meggan or the game of cricket. There's not much in here to excite me or make me really care about the characters. Sorry, Paul! But I did very much enjoy #14. Yes, the opening negates the previous issue's balls-to-the-wall cliffhanger, but it does so using pieces earned from previous stories. Things are heating up for the big finale, and I'm looking forward to it, though I'm saddened that the end is near.

Seaguy: Slaves of Mickey Eye #3 by Grant Morrison, Cameron Stewart, Dave Stewart (no relation), and Todd Klein (DC/Vertigo)

I was going to write about this here, but I'm now considering saving my thoughts for a larger standalone post. But it may just have redeemed this mini-series for me; I'll have to reread the series and get back to you later. Promise!

Two-in-One Review!

Doctor Who: Autopia by John Ostrander, Kelly Yates, Kris Carter, and Kubikiri (IDW)

Thor: The Trial of Thor by Peter Milligan, Cary Nord, Christina Strain, and Joe Caramanga (Marvel)

I try not to buy comics whose titles don't start with A, B, or C, but sometimes I make exceptions.

I've lumped these two comics together because they both provoke the same feeling in me, which is that they feel like comics you'd find in a three-for-a-dollar bin in the back of a comic shop, wedged between unloved issues of Dan Jurgens' Justice League run. By which I mean they both exude the less-than-sexy aroma of the dreaded "filler." This Thor book is not unlike a random Thor annual you'd find in the early 80s, only with better coloring, and the Doctor Who comic lacks any of the more interesting or exciting ideas and developments you'd find in the show; it's just what one fears when they open a licensed comic.

I know Ostrander and Milligan are good writers-- I've read their good writing! I feel they're more capable than this. Both comics just kinda go through the motions, shuffling towards the inevitable when they happen to run out of pages and the plot decides to stop. The artists do their best with the material-- Kelly Yates' cartooning is quite polished, and he storytells the hell out of a plot that mostly consists of guys and robots standing around; Cary Nord draws a mean fantasy barbarian comic, and this issue is no exception.

Neither book, however, thrilled, intrigued, or otherwise truly entertained me. There's nothing inherently wrong with these comics-- everybody does a professional job, nothing stands out as an eyesore-- but they're just kinda there. A mediocre comic from good creators is the most depressing comic of them all.

5 Comments

• At July 2, 2009, Chad Nevett wrote:

  Trial of Thor is almost worth it just for the whole CSI: Asgard element. I would totally buy a comic ...

• At July 2, 2009, Ian A. wrote:

  Wegener’s artwork is crispier than fried chicken

  If Red 5 doesn't use that as a pull-quote and slap it on the ...

• At July 3, 2009, Cass wrote:

  SPOILERS: I hated that it was the dwarves at the end of Milligan's Thor. I'd read Ages of Thunder and ...

• At July 3, 2009, Scott! wrote:

  I agree with Ian =D

  Gonna email this one to the bosses right now.

• At July 3, 2009, Philip Ayres wrote:

  > You know, I read the Annual, and still I feel that I don’t know anything about Meggan or the ...

Dark Horse:

Evan Dorkin and Jill Thompson bring us Beasts of Burden #1 on page 22 (16 September). "When supernatural occurrences sweep the community of Burden Hill, it's up to a heroic gang of cats and dogs to keep the residents safe from harm," reads the text, and if we ignore the bad pun of the town's name, it sounds pretty keen. And it will look fan-freakin'-tastic, unless for some reason you don't like Jill Thompson. And you're not that dim-witted, are you? ARE YOU????

Pages 24 and 25 have a bunch of Hellboy-related stuff which I'm sure is very good but which I'm not buying because I wait for the trade on everything Hellboy-related. The thing I want to know is: When are they going to start printing those giant Library Editions for B. P. R. D.? That would be a purchase I'd be happy to make!

On page 26, we get the trade of The Cleaners (11 November). I just reviewed the final issue, and while it didn't work as well as it could have, it's still a pretty cool series. And maybe if a lot of people buy this, Wheaton and Fialkov can write another series!

The Amazon gets collected on page 31 (11 November). As I wrote when Dark Horse started soliciting the single issues, this isn't a great series, but it's not bad, and seeing Tim Sale's extremely seminal art is a treat.

Another trade is Mister X: Condemned on page 36 (4 November). This is another decent but not great mini-series that's notable for Motter's cool Art Deco art and odd worldview in terms of the city and his retro-futuristic style.

There's a third Beanworld trade on page 38 (25 November), which is all-new stuff, according to the text. If MarkAndrew was keen on the reprints of the old stuff, imagine his ecstasy when this hits the stands!

DC:

On page 56, there's something odd in the solicitation text for Blackest Night: Superman #2 (23 September). It reads, "Superman's dead bride returns as a Black Lantern!" Is this Lois? Is she dead? If it is, shouldn't that have been bigger news? Or is it someone else, like some weird Kryptonian chick we've never heard of until recently?

Dang, J. H. Williams III is awesome:

Okay, so on page 67, we find this solicitation for Gotham City Sirens #4 (30 September): "Bruce Wayne has always been considered the quintessential ladies' man. But he's never faced ladies quite like this before! Has Gotham City's playboy prince finally met his match?" Name one thing wrong with that text.

Superman: Secret Origin #1 (page 69; 23 September): "Geoff Johns and Gary Frank reunite to present a 6-issue event that spells out the definitive origin of Superman for the 21st century". How many definitive origins for the 21st century does that make for our favorite Man of Steel? Sheesh.

I certainly wish The Shield and The Web ongoing series well (page 74; 9 and 23 September), but shouldn't DC wait until they see how JMS's "Red Circle" event does at the box office before greenlighting series spinning out of them? Wouldn't that be wise? Oh, wait - it's DC!

Magog? In an ongoing series (page 80; 2 September)? Really? I mean, I tend to follow creators these days, and Keith Giffen and Howard Porter is intriguing, but it seems that a lot of people still follow characters, so this has to be a tough sell, right?

Batman: Monsters (page 86; 28 October) collects three stories from Legends of the Dark Knight written by James Robinson, Warren Ellis, and Alan Grant and drawn by Jon Watkiss, John McCrea, and Quique Alcatena. I'm fairly sure I have all of these, but it might be something you want to check out.

Howard Chaykin's Blackhawk mini-series from 1988 gets a trade on page 88 (28 October). Chaykin never quite works for me, but you might want this!

On page 89, Mark Millar's Red Son is collected in hardcover for a measly $25 (11 November). This isn't quite great, but it's not bad and kind of fun. Millar seems to fall into the trap of too many Elseworlds stories, and that's ending it with the hero in the exact same place he is in the "real" world. Oh well.

Vertigo breaks out more of the their graphic novels on page 103, as novelist Kevin Baker (who wrote the excellent Dreamland) writes Luna Park, which also features Coney Island in the early 20th century but spreads beyond that time and place (11 November). Daniel Zezelj draws it, so you know you want to check it out! Helpfully, DC provides preview pages!

Jeff Lemire starts a new ongoing called Sweet Tooth, which is offered on page 107 and shows up on 2 September. It's the story of a human/animal hybrid in the years after a great pandemic wiped out most of humanity. It sounds really weird, but what the hell - Lemire will make it work! And the first issue is a dollar! Whoo-hoo!

There's another Swamp Thing hardcover on page 115 (25 November), continuing the Alan Moore saga. Dang, it's good.

Image:

Jeff Parker and Steve Lieber bring us Underground #1 on page 132 (23 September). In order for you to be excited about this, I shouldn't have to write more than "Jeff Parker and Steve Lieber," but you can check out the preview pages on page 133 and see how cool it looks for yourself! Lieber showed me a ton of the art for this last year in San Diego, and I've been anticipating it ever since. And now it's here! Yay!

Page 136 brings us Beast by Marian Churchland (16 September). A sculptor gets a mysterious client who wants her to carve his portrait out of marble. Things get weird from there. I don't know if Churchland's writing is good, but her art is quite nice. And there are more preview pages on page 137!

Hey, look! Page 158 has War Heroes #3 (16 September)! I haven't been reading this, but where's it been? Has Millar been too busy turning Kick-Ass into a movie?

Marvel:

Oh, Warren Ellis. Why do we love you when you continually give us Ultimate Comics Armor War (page 17) yet no more Fell? And yet we do. Why, Warren Ellis, WHY????

You know, Marvel, can we resist the Wizardication of the solicitation texts? Please? Exhibit One: Amazing Spider-Man #606 and 607 on page 21: "Look out, Spidey! Hot on the heels of his old girlfriend's trip home, The Black Cat's back [and front!], sexier and more dangerous than ever! The deck is STACKED as the one woman that loves Spider-Man more than Peter Parker is up to some devilish shenanigans ... and nothing bugs Spidey more than shenanigans! BRAce yourself for danger, Spidey! It's gonna be ... umm ... sexy?" That's verbatim, by the way, with the capitals in place. Sheesh, Marvel. Good job.

Dark Reign Dark Reign Dark Reign blah blah blah ... Hey, what's this on page 32? M.O.D.O.K.: Reign Delay by Ryan Dunlavey? M.O.D.O.K. moves back in with his parents in Erie, Pennsylvania? Yeah, I'm going to be getting that.

I was going to get Jonathan Hickman's Fantastic Four, but the solicitation on page 41 gives me pause: "Ben and Johnny prepare for a trip to Nu-Earth ..." Oh dear. Please, Mr. Hickman, don't go there. I'll still probably check it out, but that makes me worry.

Spider-Woman #1 gets resolicited on page 59. Yeah, I chuckled too. As cool as it sounds (and it does), I take exception with the hyperbolic text: "This is the start of a major chapter in one of the most high profile characters in all of Marvel comics." Really, Marvel text writers? REALLY? "One of the most high profile characters"? I can think of probably 30 characters who are higher profile than Spider-Woman without even breaking a sweat. I mean, really.

As glad as I am that Moon Knight is back (page 62), why the reboot to a #1? It's continuing the story from the previous series, after all. I get that it will bump up sales (presumably), but that never lasts. How odd.

Strange Tales #1 on page 80 is a must-buy, of course. My question is: How does Marvel get all these indy comic book guys to work on their books, while DC tends to lag behind? I presume it's just that Marvel can throw more money at them, but DC has to have some cash lying around, right? I mean, they have to be able to steal someone away from Marvel occasionally, right? Yet they tend not to. If they do, like Jeff Lemire, they let him go nuts in Vertigo but not in the "real" DCU. It's very odd. Who wouldn't want to see Michael Kupperman do a surreal version of the Justice League? It's been too long since Bizarro Comics, DC. Get with the program!

Marvel Masterworks: Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. vol. 2 is offered on page 87. One word: Steranko. Yeah, it's worth the 55 dollars.

I think it was Other Greg who was whinging about not having an Essential Sub-Mariner. Well, Marvel responds to grown men weeping like my four-year-old, because page 116 brings it to us! Of course, this isn't the Golden Age stuff, so maybe that's what O. G. wants? If this is what he wants, now he'll have to find something else to kvetch about! Maybe he'll take requests, because he's so good at getting Marvel to do his bidding!

And so we reach ... the back of the book!

As sick as we might be of vampires, SLG offers Pinocchio Vampire Slayer on page 182. Come on, that's pretty damned genius, you have to admit. He has an endless supply of stakes, as long as he keeps lying! Gold!