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Secret History Archives - Comics Should Be Good! @ Comic Book Resources

What I bought – 13 June 2012

For, if one can ask and receive eternity from God, then we can take the opposite of eternity – time – only from Satan … (Milorad Pavić, from Dictionary of the Khazars)

Come on - you know you want to sing the song whenever you see this comic! Bolland-tastic! I can't help thinking of porn variations of this title This too Conveniently, the Apocalypse in this book is scheduled for 2012 Kirby Hale - everyone's favorite rogue The Hobgoblin debuts and Marvel reprints a Vulture cover? I'm not quoted on the back of this, which fills me with rage!!!! I'm wary of anything that claims to be 'historically accurate' Computer-generated, but pretty cool-looking!
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What I bought – 25 April 2012

And Savinkov remembered that Kaliayev had once said to him, “Everything is beautiful. The stars and clouds and flowers and people and — death is beautiful, too.” (Otto Friedrich, from The End of the World)

See ya! Don't piss off the clockwork tiger! Fight Night! You know, I was never a fan of burnt marshmallows Well, that's not going to end well Oh, Howard Hughes - you're such a crazy dude! Who knew Hendrix was in cahoots with all those conspirators? Too damned big!
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What I bought – 14 December 2011

“Truth, Vinicius, dwells somewhere so high that the gods themselves cannot see it from the top of Olympus. To you, carissime, your Olympus seems higher still, and, standing there, you call to me, ‘Come, you will see such sights as you have not seen yet!’ I might. But I answer, ‘I do not have feet for the journey.’ And if you read this letter to the end, you will acknowledge, I think, that I am right.” (Henryk Sienkiewicz, from Quo Vadis)

Yeeeee-hawwwww! Oh no, it's a fastball special! He's on the rag (yes, I totally went there) A hook hand!  A HOOK HAND!!!!! I'm not entirely sure what that big ball of cash is - a wreath, maybe? I know this isn't supposed to be a cover, but it's still uninspiring Well, it might be ridiculously late, but at least the cover is spooky! The dude with the flame thrower cracks me up I'm not really sure why this image is being used as a cover for this issue It's about time! At least they fixed the trade dress! Who knew that motif was coming? Leonardo DiCaprio NOOOOOO! That's some good use of color there It never gets boring! At last! This looks groovy! Will this book make me like Satrapi???? Oh, Jubilee - what have they done to you?
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What I bought – 10 August 2011

By the river. She was standing by the river. She was dancing without moving. By the river. She wasn’t beautiful exactly; she was like a shimmer in the distance. She was so white his reservation eyes suffered. (Sherman Alexie, from “All I Wanted to do Was Dance”)

Dustin Nguyen is soooooo awesome Oh, the temptation! That can't be feminist-friendly! It's TABOO! This cover would be much better if they put a POW! on it Tony doesn't forge a sword in this comic, which is a damned shame Why isn't Franken-chick green on this cover? SCORE! Look, it's a boomerang pun! I'll get it out of the way in the alt-text: TIME TRAVEL IS IMPOSSIBLE! More good Kordey art for the haters! Bolland!  Gracia-Lopez!  Russell!  Holy crap!!!!!! More Fiona Staples goodness! You cannot deny Risso's excellence! So many phallic symbols! Horrific violence in Gantz?  Unprecedented! Why should I read it for free when I can buy it? Holy crap, this looks awesome Spies!!!!!
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What I bought – 6 July 2011

Revolution is the universal rule of evolution. Revolution is a universal principle of the world. Revolution is the essence of the struggle for survival or destruction in a time of transition. Revolution submits to heaven and responds to men’s needs. Revolution rejects what is corrupt and keeps the good. Revolution is the advance from barbarism to civilization. Revolution turns slaves into masters. (Zou Rong, from The Revolutionary Army)

Freaky-deaky! That bustier has to hurt a little, doesn't it? Dare you get the glow-in-the-dark variant?!?!? Do you think this A stands for 'alive'???? We can't save him ... he's too ugly!!!! Why isn't this better?  WHY?!?!?!? I'm still not buying that outfit So secret I didn't even know about it! It's Amethyst! Well, that's creepy Pitchforks?  Really? Boy, I don't like that cover Well, it's better than the Thunderbolts cover, so I guess that's something!
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What I bought – 19 January 2011

“Do you know what it is to throw a child in the air and catch it on a knife in front of its mother? To be tied to a burning log? To have your ass split with an axe so that you beg the Serbs, beg them, to shoot you in the head and they don’t?

“And they go to their church after. They go to their goddamn church. I have no words …”

Ismail shuddered. “There are things that are beyond evil, that you just can’t speak about.” (Robert Kaplan, from Balkan Ghosts)

Damn you, Blair Butler!!!! Everything on this cover takes place inside! So ... much ... symbolism! I love the snarky headline It's all spooky, man! Huh Yep Shouldn't she be rejecting the bourgeois notion of jewelry? Wait, how many more issues are there? Quick Draw McGraw he ain't More bad-assery! I dig me some Sherlock Holmes!
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What I bought – 15 December 2010

“You see,” Lardner said at the long bar of the Artist and Writers Restaurant, “Duke thought if his dream came true he would be a different person. He’s not unhappy about the dream. He’s unhappy that he is still the same man. Happens to a lot of us. We get somewhere we wanted and find we’re still ourselves.” (Roger Kahn, from The Boys of Summer)

'Conceived' is spelled wrong on the cover!!!!! Man, those are some big-ass thighs! 'Do you like my big gun, Dick?!?!?' You gotta love that tag line! He has a '007' on his watch - that's a nice touch So much RAGE!!! The dragon just wanted to mate with the airplane! It has a guarantee! I'm digging this cover Who doesn't love Mouse Guard?Commies, that's who! None of this actually happens in this comic! Your own ... Nuclear ... Jesus ... Let's get physical, physical! Spoooooky! Man-Thing does not appear in this comic! Look how cute they are, eavesdropping on their past selves! Yay!  They're all ready to kick ass! Oh, Thor - you can't stay mad at X-Factor! Well, that's charming! Boy, I like that logo Ellis/Conner?  SOLD! It's Ditkoriffic! Everyone loves Yetis!
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What I bought – 26 May 2010

“That’s why opera is important, Baron. Because it’s realer than any play! A dramatic poet would have to put all those thoughts down one after another to represent this second of time. The composer can put them all down at once – and still make us hear each one of them. Astonishing device: a Vocal Quartet! … I tell you I want to write a finale lasting half an hour! A quartet becoming a quintet becoming a sextet. On and on, wider and wider – all sounds multiplying and rising together – and the together making a sound entirely new! … I bet you that’s how God hears the world. Millions of sounds ascending at once and mixing in His ear to become an unending music, unimaginable to us! That’s our job! That’s our job, we composers: to combine the inner minds of him and him and him, and her and her – the thoughts of chambermaids and Court Composers – and turn the audience into God.” (Peter Shaffer, from “Amadeus”)

Lots of cool covers in this series! Andy Kubert can sure draw a cover! I'm just not a fan of this kind of cover design! This isn't as good as the first cover, but it's still pretty good Hey, wait a minute - that bird is already dead! This cover got smudged, and now it's no longer MINT!!!!!  Arrrgggghhhhh!!!!! I don't know who Philip Castle is So secret! So very secret! So very, very secret!!!!! I cross my sevens, because I'm so cool! More crazy than you can handle! I know it's not very manly, but the sound I make in my voice when a volume of this comes out is 'Squeee!' Nice to see it come out ... finally! The sound MarkAndrew makes when a new Kim Deitch book comes out is 'Squeee!'
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What I bought – 5 May 2010

For it is a general rule of human nature that people despise those who treat them well and look up to those who make no concessions. (Thucydides, from History of the Peloponnesian War)

This is the much better of two covers! Man, that leg shouldn't bend that way, should it? He got punched so hard math came out of his mouth! At least it's not called Mouthbreather! Dig that crazy cover, man! You don't want to see that in the middle of the blizzard! There's a light snack! Lawrence of Arabia does not appear too often in this book, but he gets the cover! How adorable! Colin Ferrell likes his penis substitute! It just keeps getting freakier! Is this on life support? This series would be a lot better if this scene actually appeared in it! Well, this looks freakin' awesome! Even though the anatomy of this cover is somewhat strange, the interior works looks stupendous! This has Kelly Thompson written all over it! So does this, in fact!
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A review a day: The Secret History Omnibus

I reviewed every issue of this as they came out, but it took quite a while, so let’s check out the giant-sized collection of the first seven issues! This is in honor of the new issue, which came out today!
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What I bought – 3 December 2009

They tax our policy, and call it cowardice,
Count wisdom as no member of the war.
Forestall prescience, and esteem no act
But that of hand. The still and mental parts,
That do contrive how many hands shall strike
When fitness calls them on, and know by measure
Of their observant toil the enemies’ weight —
Why, this hath not a finger’s dignity.

He has muscles on his muscles! I gotta get me a Miller Medallion! I like how they're just chillin', waiting to kill someone. What?  No nudity?  It's an outrage! What?  No nudity?  It's an outrage! This is a cool-ass cover, I tell you that much!
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What I bought – 4 November 2009

You know, your menstruating heart just isn’t bleeding enough for two.
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