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The Secret History Archives - Comics Should Be Good! @ Comic Book Resources

What I bought – 14 December 2011

“Truth, Vinicius, dwells somewhere so high that the gods themselves cannot see it from the top of Olympus. To you, carissime, your Olympus seems higher still, and, standing there, you call to me, ‘Come, you will see such sights as you have not seen yet!’ I might. But I answer, ‘I do not have feet for the journey.’ And if you read this letter to the end, you will acknowledge, I think, that I am right.” (Henryk Sienkiewicz, from Quo Vadis)

Yeeeee-hawwwww! Oh no, it's a fastball special! He's on the rag (yes, I totally went there) A hook hand!  A HOOK HAND!!!!! I'm not entirely sure what that big ball of cash is - a wreath, maybe? I know this isn't supposed to be a cover, but it's still uninspiring Well, it might be ridiculously late, but at least the cover is spooky! The dude with the flame thrower cracks me up I'm not really sure why this image is being used as a cover for this issue It's about time! At least they fixed the trade dress! Who knew that motif was coming? Leonardo DiCaprio NOOOOOO! That's some good use of color there It never gets boring! At last! This looks groovy! Will this book make me like Satrapi???? Oh, Jubilee - what have they done to you?
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What I bought – 10 August 2011

By the river. She was standing by the river. She was dancing without moving. By the river. She wasn’t beautiful exactly; she was like a shimmer in the distance. She was so white his reservation eyes suffered. (Sherman Alexie, from “All I Wanted to do Was Dance”)

Dustin Nguyen is soooooo awesome Oh, the temptation! That can't be feminist-friendly! It's TABOO! This cover would be much better if they put a POW! on it Tony doesn't forge a sword in this comic, which is a damned shame Why isn't Franken-chick green on this cover? SCORE! Look, it's a boomerang pun! I'll get it out of the way in the alt-text: TIME TRAVEL IS IMPOSSIBLE! More good Kordey art for the haters! Bolland!  Gracia-Lopez!  Russell!  Holy crap!!!!!! More Fiona Staples goodness! You cannot deny Risso's excellence! So many phallic symbols! Horrific violence in Gantz?  Unprecedented! Why should I read it for free when I can buy it? Holy crap, this looks awesome Spies!!!!!
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What I bought – 6 July 2011

Revolution is the universal rule of evolution. Revolution is a universal principle of the world. Revolution is the essence of the struggle for survival or destruction in a time of transition. Revolution submits to heaven and responds to men’s needs. Revolution rejects what is corrupt and keeps the good. Revolution is the advance from barbarism to civilization. Revolution turns slaves into masters. (Zou Rong, from The Revolutionary Army)

Freaky-deaky! That bustier has to hurt a little, doesn't it? Dare you get the glow-in-the-dark variant?!?!? Do you think this A stands for 'alive'???? We can't save him ... he's too ugly!!!! Why isn't this better?  WHY?!?!?!? I'm still not buying that outfit So secret I didn't even know about it! It's Amethyst! Well, that's creepy Pitchforks?  Really? Boy, I don't like that cover Well, it's better than the Thunderbolts cover, so I guess that's something!
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What I bought – 19 January 2011

“Do you know what it is to throw a child in the air and catch it on a knife in front of its mother? To be tied to a burning log? To have your ass split with an axe so that you beg the Serbs, beg them, to shoot you in the head and they don’t?

“And they go to their church after. They go to their goddamn church. I have no words …”

Ismail shuddered. “There are things that are beyond evil, that you just can’t speak about.” (Robert Kaplan, from Balkan Ghosts)

Damn you, Blair Butler!!!! Everything on this cover takes place inside! So ... much ... symbolism! I love the snarky headline It's all spooky, man! Huh Yep Shouldn't she be rejecting the bourgeois notion of jewelry? Wait, how many more issues are there? Quick Draw McGraw he ain't More bad-assery! I dig me some Sherlock Holmes!
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What I bought – 15 December 2010

“You see,” Lardner said at the long bar of the Artist and Writers Restaurant, “Duke thought if his dream came true he would be a different person. He’s not unhappy about the dream. He’s unhappy that he is still the same man. Happens to a lot of us. We get somewhere we wanted and find we’re still ourselves.” (Roger Kahn, from The Boys of Summer)

'Conceived' is spelled wrong on the cover!!!!! Man, those are some big-ass thighs! 'Do you like my big gun, Dick?!?!?' You gotta love that tag line! He has a '007' on his watch - that's a nice touch So much RAGE!!! The dragon just wanted to mate with the airplane! It has a guarantee! I'm digging this cover Who doesn't love Mouse Guard?Commies, that's who! None of this actually happens in this comic! Your own ... Nuclear ... Jesus ... Let's get physical, physical! Spoooooky! Man-Thing does not appear in this comic! Look how cute they are, eavesdropping on their past selves! Yay!  They're all ready to kick ass! Oh, Thor - you can't stay mad at X-Factor! Well, that's charming! Boy, I like that logo Ellis/Conner?  SOLD! It's Ditkoriffic! Everyone loves Yetis!
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What I bought – 10 November 2010

“Bonding is like the romance in an Arnold Schwarzeneggar movie.”

If it happens along the way, fine.”

But it ain’t the reason you go there.” (Bruce Feirstein, from Real Men Don’t Bond)

How does he see? Who's supposed to be shooting at him? Well, that would look weird in World War II So ...much ...coolness! ATTACK!!!!! Run, you running people, run like the wind! I've always wanted to walk casually away from an explosion More ...coolness! Yeah, I don't like the title either So much hair! She's all mysterious! Frank Quitely, gettin' paid! Oh, I get it - he's inside a whale! Ah, young, creepy love! Chicken power! It's all Eighties and shit! Let's do some analyzing! Those pants are stylin'! Well, he looks peeved
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What I bought – 8 July 2010

Actually, his statement in its entirety was, “The rich are the most discriminated-against minority in the world. Openly or covertly, everybody hates the rich because, openly or covertly, everybody envies the rich. Me, I love the rich. Somebody has to love them. Sure, a lot o’ rich people are assholes, but believe me, a lot o’ poor people are assholes, too, and an asshole with money can at least pay for his own drinks.” (Tom Robbins, from Jitterbug Perfume)

Damn, I love the backgrounds on these Quitely covers! Batman puts some Bactine on this and moves on, because he's tougher than you are! It's a double-shot of awesome straight to your cerebral cortex! I don't know how those dolphins got on top of that building, but how sad!That guy in the foreground creeps me out! I love the ghost fingers right in the center of the drawing! You know, if more cops looked like this and flew around like this, I'd be a criminal just to check it out! How can anyone not love Tom Scioli? I'd risk the arrows if fine ladies like that were paying me so much attention! I wonder what this issue is about? She will tic-tac-toe your ass to death! Yay!  More nudity! That's kind of a lousy 'drawing' but a pretty effective image It just keeps getting weirder! Featuring ... SCIENCE!!!! I'm so geeked about this title! Is it the end?  We shall see ... Raise a glass to Christopher Mitten! This actually represents something that happens within the pages! Who doesn't love retellings of old fairy tales?
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What I bought – 23 June 2010

“Concentration-camp existence … taught us that the whole world is really like a concentration camp,” wrote Tadeusz Borowski. “The weak work for the strong, and if they have no strength or will to work – then let them steal, or let them die. … There is no crime that a man will not commit in order to save himself. And, having saved himself, he will commit crimes for increasingly trivial reasons; he will commit them first out of duty, then from habit, and finally – for pleasure. … The world is ruled by neither justice nor morality; crime is not punished nor virtue rewarded, one is forgotten as quickly as the other. The world is ruled by power …” (Otto Friedrich, from The End of the World)

Sadly lacking in bottles of rum! Well, this title leaves no doubt about what's happening! Bruce is looking a little chunky on that cover! Yay!  It's back! Francavilla really ought to mix up the layouts of the covers! Warning: This is the only time Jack appears in this comic! Once again ...... we get the story behind the cover! Yes, these aren't listed alphabetically, because of Mouse Guard's squareness and double-sidedness! Too much black! What's this?  No giant white space on this cover?  It's a Festivus Miracle! I'm not sure, but I think that '7' is just a little small There's a disturbing lack of Spoon in this issue I love how Rictor is running away like a scaredy-cat! Unfortunately, the actual comic does NOT feature Oscar Hempel's Merry-O-Nettes! Sam Kieth doing a book about Arkham Asylum?  Yeah, I'll take that! Not unlike Picasso, Gantz has a blue phase
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What I bought – 26 May 2010

“That’s why opera is important, Baron. Because it’s realer than any play! A dramatic poet would have to put all those thoughts down one after another to represent this second of time. The composer can put them all down at once – and still make us hear each one of them. Astonishing device: a Vocal Quartet! … I tell you I want to write a finale lasting half an hour! A quartet becoming a quintet becoming a sextet. On and on, wider and wider – all sounds multiplying and rising together – and the together making a sound entirely new! … I bet you that’s how God hears the world. Millions of sounds ascending at once and mixing in His ear to become an unending music, unimaginable to us! That’s our job! That’s our job, we composers: to combine the inner minds of him and him and him, and her and her – the thoughts of chambermaids and Court Composers – and turn the audience into God.” (Peter Shaffer, from “Amadeus”)

Lots of cool covers in this series! Andy Kubert can sure draw a cover! I'm just not a fan of this kind of cover design! This isn't as good as the first cover, but it's still pretty good Hey, wait a minute - that bird is already dead! This cover got smudged, and now it's no longer MINT!!!!!  Arrrgggghhhhh!!!!! I don't know who Philip Castle is So secret! So very secret! So very, very secret!!!!! I cross my sevens, because I'm so cool! More crazy than you can handle! I know it's not very manly, but the sound I make in my voice when a volume of this comes out is 'Squeee!' Nice to see it come out ... finally! The sound MarkAndrew makes when a new Kim Deitch book comes out is 'Squeee!'
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