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Wasteland Archives | Comics Should Be Good @ CBR

1987 And All That: Wasteland #1

A column in which Matt Derman (Comics Matter) reads & reviews comics from 1987, because that’s the year he was born. Click here for an archive of all the previous posts in the series.

wasteland1Wasteland #1 (DC) by Del Close, John Ostrander, David Lloyd, William Messner-Loebs, Donald Simpson, Lovern Kindzierski

Horror in fiction tends to involve the jumpy, the gory, the hideous, and/or the monstrous. As a genre, horror often aims to shock its audience, to have us screaming and leaping out of our seats and staying up at night to avoid the inevitable nightmares. That said, being scared is not necessarily the same thing as being horrified, is it? The sudden thrill of a masked psycho killer lunging out from the shadows might startle me and get my heart racing, but I don’t feel any deep-seated disgust, displeasure, or discomfort because of it. There is no true horror there, only cheap fear, and though some may argue that this is a subtle, even needless distinction, it is nevertheless a significant one when it comes to talking about Wasteland #1.

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What I bought – 8 and 15 April 2015

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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive. (Joseph Heller, from Picture This)
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What I bought – 26 February 2014

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“Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love’s triangles.” (Oscar Wilde, from The Picture of Dorian Gray)
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What I bought – 20 November 2013

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“This is what history consists of. It’s the sum total of all the things they aren’t telling us.” (Don DeLillo, from Libra)
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Ecce picturae intra libros: Comics art for the week of 1 May 2013

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‘I met Andy Warhol at a really chic party’ / Blow it out your hairdo, ’cause you work at Hardee’s!
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What I bought – 6 February 2013

“Italians have made the family an extremist group. The family is the instrument of revenge.” (Don DeLillo, from The Names)

Heads on sticks! Holy crap, I love the covers of this series Everyone loves the Merrymaker! There are no ninjas in this issue Cover text! Groovy! Oh, Howard Chaykin - what happened to you? The buildings are attacking him! So misleading! He looms like a looming loomer! That dude doesn't seem to be helping all that much Come at us, bros! That's ... unfortunate Yep, here it is again Stretch, Conan, stretch! Blood!  BLOOD!
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What I bought – 19 December 2012

“And the good thing about feeling really happy, you know, Valentin? … It’s that you think it’s forever, that one’s never ever going to feel unhappy again.” (Manuel Puig, from Kiss of the Spider Woman)

She should be keeping her eyes in front! It's all grim and gritty! I don't know why this dude is on this cover Don't look down at his crotch! Dang, Biz Sif's idea of foreplay is ... something Insert Schwarzenegger-esque pun here! There's nothing more exciting than someone reading a book on a comic cover! Is the wolf throwing him, or is he leaping at the wolf? Well, that's no fun Turn on a light, man! Well, they're in a heap o' trouble This is a weirdly bad cover, and I can't really put my finger on why So many dames! Even more anthropomorphic animals! It's GIGANTIC! Holy crap, this looks cool It's SUPER-GIGANTIC!
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What I bought – 28 November 2012

What theater do we have besides beauty contests? (Maxine Hong Kingston, from Tripmaster Monkey)

This won't end well Don't fuck with Josephine! Who is everyone except Scott Lang waving at? Everyone loves chogs!That can't be good, can it?Is this foreshadowing???? Why so dark?!?!? Who's going to pay for that window? You can't hide! I dig his syringe! Two volumes in a year!
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What I bought – 31 October 2012

His father smiled thinly. “Perhaps not for a while. But in the end, someone always has to have his or her neck popped, as you so quaintly put it. The people demand it. Sooner or later, if there isn’t a turncoat, the people make one.” (Stephen King, from The Gunslinger)

Really, Marvel? So that's what happened to Elvis! Oh, it's here all right! So spooooooky! Well, isn't that unpleasant I don't know why they're under water, honestly It will make you feel better! 'Did someone put a Kick Me sign on my back?' Um, what? Orson ANGRY! Big fake star! Yet another one to dazzle me! Crossover!
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What I bought – 8 August 2012

“People who claim that they’re evil are usually no worse than the rest of us.” He sighed. “It’s people who claim that they’re good, or anyway better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of.” (Gregory Maguire, from Wicked)

Everyone likes an adult beverage now and then! This cover references absolutely nothing in the comic! Well, it's about time The 'eyes' have it! STOKOE!!!!! Take that, pirate! I got nothin'Still nothin' So sad! Two-fisted adventure! Dang Damned dirty Russkies!
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What I bought – 6 June 2012

“That’s what I came to tell you, that I can’t free our people from the rule of the Romans.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not true freedom. Any freedom that can be given can be taken away. Moses didn’t need to ask Pharaoh to release our people, our people didn’t need to be released from the Babylonians, and they don’t need to be released from the Romans. I can’t give them freedom. Freedom is in their hearts, they merely have to find it.” (Christopher Moore, from Lamb)

Why does Hazmat have Parkinson's? I like big butts and I cannot lie Well, it's not a hook hand, but it's close enough! So much barf I don't get the title of this issue Three chicks on the open highway! Everyone loves Cairo! Does he live on the Moth Moon?
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What I bought – 9 May 2012

He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden behind the dark mustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother. (George Orwell, from 1984)

Hey, that dude has no head! She doesn't look happy! Man, that's some clear water, ain't it? More covers than you can shake a stick at! I'm not sure who he's supposed to be confronting SOOOOOOOK!!!! Never trust the woman! Now THAT'S a team-up! Burn that Bible! I just don't get the Beatles
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What I bought – 11 April 2012

“An empire that can provide a prince, one who might end up succeeding to the throne, a life of childish foolishness and happiness until the age of twenty-nine is necessarily doomed to collapse, dissolution, and annihilation.” (Orhan Pamuk, from The Black Book)

She really ought to have an umbrella Benday dots! She's looking for Ah-nold! I blame you! Kids R D-U-M! On the bright side, they're very nice teeth Oh, it's ON! Yes, I'm a 12-year-old girl, why do you ask? Daredevil really needs a theme song Where are the Omaha pin-ups?!?!? Haney + Aparo = Awesome! So much blood!
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What I bought – 14 March 2012

‘We are happy lovers. Aren’t we? And happiness makes one stupid. Happiness and wisdom do not go together, just as body and thought do not go together. Because only pain is the thought of the body. In other words, happy people become stupid people. It is only when they get tired of their happiness that lovers can become wise again, if that is what they otherwise are.’ (Milorad Pavić, from Last Love in Constantinople)

No one can see you! Action face KICK!!!!! It can't be comfortable sitting in milk like that 'What do you mean, I have to leave a tip?!?!?!?!' That guy is thinking that it's too cold for this shit What a controversial cover!!!!! How nice for it to show up ...... finally! Aliens ... Hispanics ... oh, I get it now! I kind of wanted the J. H. Williams variant, because it's damned cool Wasn't that a Red Hot Chili Peppers song? I'm hung up on some comics from the Sixties, man! That's a damned fine cover! MCKELVIE!!!!!!
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What I bought – 15 February 2012

“Usually girls dance together because the boys are too shy to ask. But this boy – I didn’t know him – he asked me to dance, and so we had the first dance and then the next, and by that time we were talking … And you know what it is when you like someone, you know it at once; well, I liked him such a lot. And we kept on talking and then there was a birthday cake. And he took a bit of marzipan and he just gently put it in my mouth – I remember trying to smile, and blushing, and feeling so foolish – and I fell in love with him just for that, for the gentle way he touched my lips with the marzipan.” (Philip Pullman, from The Amber Spyglass)

Come ON! Which of these characters wouldn't you trust? She really needs a haircut! That's a cool coloring job on that cover Shouldn't Man-Thing be on this cover? Honestly, the boobs almost dominate the entire cover here Well, you probably should get off that cross, then Hot damn! Take your time with these, Marvel - no hurry! Grrrrrrr ...
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